December 2, 2013

It's just breakfast.

More than that, it's a breakfast she's done hundreds of times. After she'd 'returned from the dead', she'd made more of an effort with the team, isolating individual activities and creating specific traditions special to each of them. It's easy for her to admit, now that she's been through the therapy, that it had been out of guilt. At least, in part. But it had gradually turned into a way to connect, to take time out of the insanity that was their day-to-day for each other.

For her and Hotch, it had always been breakfast. They were slaves to their workloads and schedules, of course, but she'd always looked forward to it. Even Beth hadn't changed their system.

And yet, there were nervous butterflies in her stomach. The teenager kind.

Okay, so maybe she'd in the tinest bit of denial. It's more like hiding, she thinks, because she's not denying that she's attracted to the unit chief, she's just... Not doing anything about it either. She's not blind or stupid, aftere all. He's smart, strong and hot as hell with a pair of knee-weakening dimples and the most adorable little boy. And yeah, maybe he's a little too contained, shoving emotions down a little too hard, and maybe he takes the idea of being strong for others just a little too far, but that's what makes him Hotch. And Emily likes that, maybe a bit too much.

She's not expecting anything to come of this breakfast. It's breakfast, the same way it's always been. It's a chance to catch up since they haven't been in direct contact since she left. For her... She'd just never known how to start the e-mail. For him, well, she's trying not to read into it.

It's just breakfast.

"Ready?" JJ asks, knocking on the door frame.

"Yeah." She tries to make herself sound calm, normal, not nervous and breathless. JJ's eyebrow arch tells her she's not ver successful. Damnit. If she's like this with JJ, there's every possibility all ofnher feelings will be painfully on display when she's sitting across from Hotch.

"Stop," JJ instructs, nudging her shoulder as she passes. "It's just Hotch."

"I know," Emily answers sheepishly, with just a touch of annoyance. "I'm trying."

But by the time JJ pulls up to the diner Emily's been to countless times - in addition to breakfast with Hotch, she hadn't lived far from it during that last year - her stomach hasn't settled. It's actually ridiculous, she thinks as she climbs out of the car, just barely remembering the gift bag in the back. Technically, it's a gift for Jack, but Emily's pretty sure Hotch will benefit from it too.

He stands to greet her, which makes him thankfully easy to find. This time, he's the one to intiate the hug. She's sure the feeling of his arms around her would have made her more nervous if it weren't for her body's conditioned response to the smell of him. How many times had just being seated next to him on the plane or in the car settled her bad days?

"Morning," she murmurs into his neck.

"Hi," he answers.

Then she's stepping back, jusy barely brushing her mouth over the stubbly skin of his cheek as he eyes her Santa-covered package.

"What's this?"

She feels that damn blush climb her cheeks again. It's a new and disgusting habit, but she feels like she can't tell up from down with him. Nothing's changed, at yet, everything has. "For Jack."

Hotch arches an eyebrow, even as he slides the bag from her grasp.

"An advent calendar," she explains impulsively, sliding into the booth. He's already ordered her a coffee and she hums a little as she wraps her hands around the mug. "But not a chocolate one. When my dad was still around, he'd write traditions or quotes on little slips of paper. I figured you guys could do it together."

He looks stunned for a moment, long enough for her to catch it, before his face smooths out again. "Thank you."

Then they order and talk, get caugh up on each other's lives. Jack's doing exceptionally well, she learns, and they're all recovering admirably from the drama of the year prior. She also learns that he and Beth are no longer together, much to her twisted hope and chagrin.

"It was for the best," he says quietly. "Part of it was the distance, but some people just aren't meant to see the things we see."

They talk about INTERPOL, about the generally dreary English weather. She admits she finds it difficult to get a good American cup of coffee in a nation so fixated on tea but she's absolutely addicted to Jammy Dodgers and wouldn't Reid be proud. It all flows easy and she doesn't even realize they've been there for hours until he checks his watch and admits it's time he went into the office.

"I'll make sure this gets to Jack," he promises, as he drops her back at JJ's brownstone. Then he pauses with an uncharacteristic hesitance. "I'll see you."

"You will," she agrees easily. "We can't avoid each other that long."

She pushes herself from the car - because that had sounded much better in her head - and all but scampers into JJ's house.

Sometimes, she's such an idiot.

When her phone rings later that night, it catches her completely off guard.

"Prentiss," she answers automatically, brow furrowed.

"Hiya Emily!"

Her face clears, blossoming into a wide grin. "Jack in the box!"

That gets a giggle.

"What can I do for you, Buddy?"

"Daddy gave me the calendar," he says carefully. "Thank you."

"You are more than welcome, honey. Did Daddy tell you how it works?"

"Yup!" he replies, always such a happy boy. "I get one a day. Daddy says it's Christmas stuff?"

"Traditions," she affirms. "Things you do around Christmas time with your friends and family."

"And Daddy says you'll be here for a long time."

"Until just after Christmas," she agrees, trying to keep the amusement from her voice.

"So you'll do the things with me?"

That makes her blink. "What?"

"The things in the doors," Jack answers promptly, entirely unfazed in his childish determination. "The family and friends things."

"The traditions," she says carefully.

"Yeah, those!"

Emily chews on her lip. that had not been her intention at all. The calendar is for father and son, a way for both of them to make time for the things that matter. "Jack, sweetheart, I-"

"Cause sometimes Daddy can'. He's gotta chase the bad guys and since you're not maybe you can do the things with me?"

Emily grins despite herself. With an argument like that, how is she supposed to refuse? "Okay, okay," she laughs. "Sure. I'd love to do some of the traditions with you."

"Yay!"

She hears the phone drop and winces. Then she waits, patient as ever and is rewarded when Hotch picks up the phone a few seconds later, greeting her in amusement.

"I'm glad he's excited," she says sincerely. "I wasn't totally sure it was the right gift."

"It's perfect," Hotch murmurs. "He missed you."

She blinks back tears. London certainly had it's hard days without them all to lean on. It's not the same. In fact, there are days where it's down right lonely.

"He's looking forward to it," he continues. "We both are."

The grin that stretches across her face makes her cheeks hurt. "Me too."

I seem to have conveniently forgotten how much sleep I tend to lose over the holiday season doing this story! It was midnight before I finished the chapter (in my notebook, handwritten) and I was not staying up to type it. Now I'm a day behind. BUT! I shall catch up. I always do. And I'm good like that?

Also, dear gracious people! You'd think Christmas had come early the reviews I'm getting! I am endlessly touched that some of you wait with baited breath for the story to start to see if it's going to be Hotch/Prentiss. You are all the very best.

Lastly, anyone want to take me up on that offer to make cover art for this thing?