A/N: Woo! thank you to everyone who reviewed and to coors1977, hopefully this will answer the questions in your review a little. Enjoy-Kiera

Alex woke up cold the next morning. Everything seemed so bright and for awhile she just lay there, she didn't feel like moving. John was next to her, on his side near the edge of the bed, it seemed there was some unspoken rule between them that they should sleep as far apart as possible. He'd taken all the covers, she leaned over and tried to grab some, but in the process woke him up.

"Sorry." she apologised.

"S'ok." he mumbled. "What time is it?"

"Seven."

John nodded and rubbed his eyes. Alex felt sorry for him, constantly putting up with her bullshit and getting nothing in return. He kissed her on the cheek.

Just get it over with.

I will do.

Why not now?

Because...I don't want to.

Wimp.

She blocked the voice out, something she was getting rather good at, and kissed John back. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him.

"Feeling better today?"

What the hell was he talking about? She felt fine.

Last night. Wimp

She cringed at the memory of last. As much as she hated to admit in, the inner voice was right. Sex was nothing, it had never changed the world. It wasn't a big deal. She should just get it over with.

"We should go out tonight." Alex said, not attempting to move or put her plan into action.

"Can't. I have to leave tonight, remember?"

She did now. John would go back on the road and Alex would have nothing to do and no on to talk to. Great. At least with Randy he was there all the time, whether she had liked it or not at the time.

"Will you be alright by yourself?"

"Of course. I was last week wasn't I?"

That wasn't strictly true. It had been the first time she'd really been alone, Alex had a panic attack when she reailsed how empty the house was and had to run out. She didn't come back until the early hours of the morning.

"I wish you could come with me."

"I'll be fine."

He kissed her again, then again. Alex kissed him back. His hands moved to her waist, toying with the hem of her shirt. The alarm went off. Alex pulled back.

"Shit. I have to get ready."

Alex was about to get off the bed, already all the things she had to do before she left for the hospital where swarming around her head. John grabbed her arm.

"Stay in bed."

He was almost pleading. She could understand why.

"I can't. I have to be in the hospital in an hour."

He lay back down with his arms behind his head, Alex left without so much as a second glance.

"Breakfast, shower, dressed, out. Breakfast, shower, dressed, out." She kept repeating, even as she was in the kitchen , pouring cereal into a bowl. She couldn't find a spoon. Damn everything still being so new. Just when she'd gotten use to Randy's.

"John where are the spoons?" she shouted.

"First drawer near the microwave....no wait!"

Buts he already had the drawer open and the little black ring box was looking up at her. She wasn't stupid, Alex opened it up with one hand and then John was there having run down the stairs.

"That's....you weren't suppose to see that."

"No problem."

She shut the box, put it back in the drawer and went upstairs to get a shower. She suddenly didn't feel hungry. John didn't follow her.

Alex didn't speak to John at all, not even a goodbye because she knew he'd be gone when she got home. She knew they mentioned getting married the night she left Randy, but everything was still so up the air. She wasn't even divorced yet and they'd only been back together a week. This was so quick.

You did tell him you'd marry him.

I know, but I'm confused.

Over what?

Everything.