Our story begins long ago in the ancient year of 2000 AD. I was living in an apartment with my friend Eric. Before you mention it, I totally do not have a thing for Eric. It is really common for two men to share an apartment and, if one happens to see the other in the shower, stare at those fine abs... wait, where was I? Oh, yeah the story. Eric was a huge fan of The Legend of Zelda series. The newest game, Majora's Mask, had just been released and Eric was pumped for it. He told me he was going to drive to our local game store, so I decided to accompany him to see if I could get a deal on some used games.

On the way there, Eric took a short cut by driving through a suburb. While we driving, a little boy ran into the street. Eric, seeing the kid, slammed on the breaks. Unfortunately, he was too slow. I got out the car and rushed out towards the body. An elderly man watched from his porch.

"Oh my f**king god!" I scream, "We just ran over a kid!"

"Oh well," the old man said, "By the way, do you want a used copy of Majora's Mask?"

"How do you have a used copy?" asked Eric.

"This kid is f**king dying over here!" I shouted, "We need to call an ambulance!"

"Well, the fate of this game is more important," replied the old man.

"Sure, we'll like a copy," said Eric.

Suddenly, the kid sprung to his feet. While the large gash in his chest was still bleeding, he walked up to Eric and handed Eric a copy of the game that was in his pocket. The kid proceeded to skip away with the old man following behind him. I stood dumbfounded at what I just saw.

"Well, we got the game," Eric said.

"Did you just see that?" I asked.

"What?"

"That kid just got up after a car hit him. He proceeded to give you his inexplicably intact game then walked off as if nothing happened."

"I saw that. So what?"

"What happened here was a miracle, and I want you to f**king acknowledge it!"

"Okay," Eric replied snidely, "It was miracle. Now, let's go home and play the game."

We returned to the apartment. I was still reeling from what had happened. Eric, on the other hand, almost immediately plugged in the game. I watched Eric play. There was already a save file on the game (labeled "BEN"). Out of curiosity, he decided to use it.

Although the game seemed to work fine, I noticed some things seemed off. The default shield had a different design and color scheme that made it resemble the Finnish flag. The music seemed to be ripped from somewhere else (I would later discover the music was actually Finnish folk songs).

I told him it was time to go to bed as I placed my hand on his smooth bicep. He turned his beautiful head and gazed at me with those sparkling emerald eyes. Then with a voice that would have made the sirens of ancient myth jealous, he said:

"'kay."

That night, I had a strange dream. I was in a grassy field. The only other person was a small, green clad elf boy with eyes entirely black sans the red pupils. The boy was chasing me with clear malevolent intent in his inhuman eyes.

"Hello", he said with a Finnish accent.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I am BEN."

"Huh, that isn't a really scary named for a creepy, black eyed kid."

"Shut up. Anyway, I am demonic entity bound to the cartridge. I intend on manipulating you and your buddy Eric into freeing me!"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Look, I'm the villain. As such, I have to make a big speech about my evil plan."

"So, what are you planning on doing when you are freed?"

"I intend to reshape the world to my will. I will change everything about the world: its people, its food, its values, its government and so on. And I will change so it will be like Finland."

"So, your goal is turn the entire world into Finland."

"Yep."

There was an awkward silence that followed.

"So," asked BEN breaking the silence, "Are you and Eric a couple..."

I proceeded to knee BEN in the crotch. This caused BEN to vanish and me to wake up. I heard Eric wake up as well. He rushed into my room.

"I had a horrible dream!" Eric said "I dream that a creepy version of Link, called 'BEN' came to me and told me..."

"I know I had the same dream," I replied.

"Are we a couple?"

This caused me to enter an unstoppable fit of rage... or it would be if I actually managed work out. As such, my rampage largely consisted of knocking over a few chair and throwing the game out a window. My rampage ended after I needed to catch my breath. Afterward, BEN never returned and made me question my sexuality. So all in all, I consider this a happy ending.