"Arghhhh what the fuck I can't see!" I heard male yelling and knew it was Jarvan. Elise was sleeping on my chest so I need to find a way to wake her, i noticed her helm on the endtable so I examined it. As soon as I touched it. Elise rose her head up and stared at me with lit up red eyes.
"Don't touch that please." She asked kindly. So I put it back down and asked her a question I wanted answered.
"Why were you and Ahri my champions, I can understand Jarvan." I asked seriously. "Get off me while your at it your heavy." I laughed when she sighed and got off my chest.
"I don't know, I have been wondering myself. Perhaps we were made for each other." Jarvan was still rambling that he couldn't see, so we went to investigate the guest room. We found Ahri the way we left her on Jarvan but her tails were on his face. "Never fear Syrill is here!" I yelled and redirected her tails from Jarvan's face. "Mission accomplished." I mumbled which made Jarvan grunt.
"What in the name of lifting is that?" Jarvan stood up and pointed to Ahri.
"That my prince is the biggest slut known to mankind." Jarvan grunted and then noticed for the first time in his life that Elise exists.
"What the fuck is that then!" Jarvan screamed. Elise was in her spider form and was weaving a web on the corner ceiling.
"Bitch get down here Jarvan would like to know you exist." I yelled and Ahri actually started to stir. Elise changed forms and landed perfectly on the floor. "Pff show off." I mumbled to no one in particular.
"Hello Prince." She said shyly.
"Hello beautiful lady." Jarvan grinned.
"Are you trying to hit on my champion, you faggot?" I said so Elise could hear me.
"Naughty prince!" Elise lunged towards Jarvan and slapped him. Ahri was rubbing her eyes now obviously had not slept in ages. "Oh I recommend you leave before slutbag notices you, you have about 3 seconds before I scare you off." Elise started licking her fingers while leaning on the wall near the mirror. "Times up." Elise shifted into spider form and lunged towards Jarvan.
"Lifting shield activate!" And right in front of Jarvan appeared a wild Shen.
"Hi." Elise then huddled into a corner in human form and started crying. "I didn't think I was that scary right?" Shen asked.
"Shen why are you wearing a Kepizza uniform I thought you didn't need a job." Jarvan asked so I left them too it and went to comfort my crying champion. Ahri was awake and standing up now and lazily drifted towards the kitchen.
Jarvan and Shen both watched the lazy fox and decided to follow "it" to the kitchen. "Elise? Hello Elise? Are you alright?" I dared to move closer. Wrong move... Elise gripped my robes and pulled me towards her and kissed me as soon as I was free I muttered "What the fuck." And fell down to the ground...
"Argghh what the fuck my head is ringing..." I complained and opened my eyes and looked around, I was on my bed in pitch darkness, the window was probably shut I could feel no breeze and for once I didn't have a heavy weight on top of my chest so breathing was easy.
"I'm so sorry..." Came the voice of Elise.
"Where are you I can't see shit." I said.
"Beside you." She hissed. True to that I looked to my left and saw those glowing red orbs I have grown used of.
"Can you turn the light on, Please." I asked kindly.
"I can't that's another one of your tricks." She sounded like she was above me. I used one of the spells I was taught in Summoner training and a orb made of pure mana appeared from thin air. "Hello, daring, your finally awake." I could feel her nudge into my left side and her head appeared on my chest.
"Did I agree too have you sleep on my chest again?" I said.
"You agreed when you came to comfort me, I knew you had emotions!" She smiled.
"Well I am a human right?" I asked the creator whoever he was.
"No apparently you were an emotionless faggot." Elise continued to speak while I wondered something.
"Elise why are you so light all of a sudden." I made the mistake of checking before she responded. Typical.
"I'm not wearing anything of course." Her index finger trailed against my cheek.
*KNOCK* *KNOCK*
"Aww who would that be." Elise got off the bed and her armour just attached to her when she put on her helm.
"Teach me that one day..." I trailed off and fell asleep.
Elise swayed her hips when she was approaching the front door and turned the doorknob to be welcome with the sight of Shen in his Kepizza uniform "Here's your pizza." He handed Elise the pizza and she gave him a puzzled look. "That will be 69.69. "Elise continued to give him that look. "Bitch here's your pizza you want it or not?"
"I didn't order pizza?" She casually stated.
"Well someone in this residence has." Shen explained.
"Oh and tell Syrill, Hyland said the judgement stones were tampered with and he wants Syrill to come right away. By the way pizza is on the house I was being a dickwit." Elise grabbed the pizza and Shen disappeared down the hallway.
"Pizza!" Elise yelled and awoke me from my slumber and I fell off my bed and instantly stood to attention and marched to the dining room.
"Someone really wants pizza..." Elise mumbled when she noticed me marching to her.
"Pizza first, lifting on Friday's." I explained.
"Your a jerk you know that." Elise taunted me by licking pizza off her gloves.
"Your a slut you know that." I said. "NOW GIMMIEE PIZZA!" I then dug into the Rengar's Meat.
"Gross why do they call it Rengar's Meat." Elise started talking with her mouth full which made her sound like she was choking.
"Well at Kepizza Rengar is the Co-Founder so why the fuck not." I explained and finished the box of pizza and Elise only got too eat two pieces. "Do not call me a fat shit I eat too much and never get fat." I enforced the rule.
"Hey where has Jarvan and Ahri gone?" Elise asked in a hushed tone sounding as if she was worried about them.
"Elise your hiding something you would never say something like that." I said in a serious tone.
"Ummmmm-"
"Tell me or I will use my Summoner orb to find out."
"Summoner Hyland said the judgment stone was tampered with and wanted to see you right away." She explained so I gave her a pat on her head and ran off to the judgment room.
"Syrill your champions will be reselected approach the stone." I felt bad for Elise for all I have been through with her might not ever happen again apart from me being an emotionless bastard Elise was the only one that touched my heart... I also thought about her red eyes they were so cute when they lit up.
Wait, wait, wait why am I thinking about that slut I have gotten the chance to get different champions. I approached the stone with haste and decided that if this was fast I would not feel bad. I then handled the stone...
"Your first bound champion will be... -wait? Nothing? Use the stone again Summoner!" A veiled Summoner was shocked so I proceeded to use the stone again. Nothing...
"Something is not right he can't be the one..."
"This has not happened since the rune wars something is at unrest here..."
Some of the High Summoners were panicking. This isn't right. "Use the stone again!" Hyland yelled. I then lifted the stone and began lifting it like weights and this time I got a champion...
"Is anything a problem here?" Appeared an Elise with half applied makeup. She looked over at me and smiled.
"He is the chosen one!" A random summoner yelled.
"Chosen, what? What?" I must of had the most puzzled expression ever. The high Summoners were talking in hushed tones and then they agreed on something and Hyland requested to speak with me privately...
Me and High Summoner Hyland were on our way to his office, not a word was exchanged until we got inside his office shut the door and I sat down in the chair opposite of his desk. "Syrill your the only one that can save the world..." Wait what the fuck I didn't sign up for this shit.
"I didn't become a Summoner to do this, why me..." I complained saving the world was not my type of thing.
"Well a Summoner has gone rogue and taken Jarvan and Ahri hostage." Hyland said like saving the world was a everyday thing.
"Take my lifting partner and you considered suicide, take some random slut you should consider suicide." I said seriously.
"So that's a yes I will go searching all of Valoran to find my lifting partner and some random slut?" Hyland sarcastically said.
"Yes." I replied "Lets do dis call me Commander Swag."
"Free free to tell Elise this she might help you." Hyland said.
"Bitchs be following Commander Swag, Don't worry." I got up and exited Hyland's office and stormed to my place and would tell Elise the news and the Demacian Champions that would probably go on a frenzy knowing that their Prince and some random slut with 9 tails has been kidnapped by some rogue Summoner, knowing Noxus it was probably all a plot to distract the High Summomers while they brew up some nasty plan to eliminate Demacia.
Noxians... I hate those guys...
Wait they don't even lift who the fuck cares.