The Crucible Chapter 3: The Words I Speak, a naruto fanfic

The Words I Speak

Oh Beloved- Are you listening? Can you hear the breath that leaves my lips as I murmur your name? How deeply, how sweetly the breath leaves your own as you whisper of that which remains between us. I know- how your heart pounds at my approach. I know- how your blood rises, how sweetly the heat finds the delicate slopes of your cheeks as I draw ever nearer to you. Are you...frightened dear one? Are you afraid- my dearest? Of all that which you know- and all of that you do not? You know what it is I desire, what is is I hunger for- but they will not understand this- they cannot- it is far beyond them as it has always been and as it always will be. They cannot- feel me as you do. They cannot probe the depths of this dark hearted being as you do. And they cannot- will not- be able to comfort you as I do.

Come- come to me and I will comfort you. Hearken to my voice and I will ease your shallow fears. Come- and I will relieve you of that old bitter beast of burden. The one that enslaves you, entraps you, binds you as surely as chains. Do not worry, do not fear- you must only listen, only heed the words I speak, the promise we have made. Hearken to my voice dear one, as you always have, as you always will. And I will take you, I will keep you, adored, dearest-

Beloved

She knows...this is wrong.

She knows...this is foolish.

For the promise, for the vow- solemnly made on that dark night so long ago...she knows that this is beyond her as it always has been, as it always will. She remembers acutely, painfully the warmth of his hand, the sweet of the kiss he had given her. But more than that, deeper, darker- the way his eyes had burned the color of the twilight sky. And always, always- the question there. He...had asked her then. And still, he was still waiting. Waiting- for her answer.

'But I could not answer you then- and I cannot answer you now.' She thought quietly, if only to herself. Truthfully, in the depths of her fragile heart- she was still filled with regret. She was the one who had abandoned him- she was the one who had forsaken him. 'It was because of my weakness-' She bit her lip in the darkness, scanning the number childishly scrawled out before her. She knew- what this meant. But as always- she was a moment too late, always a step behind. Always fearful of the reminder- of what remained between them. She knew the folly of this action, of reaching out to him like this- of doing exactly what he wanted of her. 'This is foolish.' She knew that. 'You should not- must not- do this.' She was already dialing the number with shaking, trembling fingers. 'You know...what this means don't you? You can deny it all you like, but this...this is-' It feels like the jaws of fate, coming to devour her at last.

Her heart is pounding so savagely in her chest that she feels weak, faint as she waits breathlessly for the phone to ring. She wants to will her heart into silence, wants to quiet the harsh murmur of her breath. She fears that he will hear her- she knows that Neji has been increasingly vigilant of late, checking on her often throughout the night. Again the thought strikes her. This- this is all so foolish- 'And what if he catches you? What if he hears? What if-' but those fears are tame in comparison to- 'What...what is it that he wants from me? Why, after all of this time- I don't understand- he knows- that I cannot answer him- I will not- but still-' She could not forget the ghost of his smile- 'But you can't allow yourself to forget- how his eyes burned.' She could not forget the warmth of his hands 'But you are the only one who knows, the only one who has seen his shadow-' And she could not ignore the pounding of her heart-

She sees the face of her father, tight with fury, with disappointment as he had grabbed by her collar, dragged her screaming forward so that he could murmur the coldest words she had ever heard into her tear streaked face. 'You worthless, insufferable fool! And yet you know nothing! You must not- you cannot- seek him!-' It rings, startling her- she hung up.

'Stop it- Stop it-' She chided herself quietly, feeling the telltale signs of anxiety beginning to overtake her once more. She feels like she is drowning again, in the same disjointed memories as always. Pathetic, weak hearted fool! In the end- no matter what- had she not wounded him deeply? Had she not cast him callously to the side? Had she not turned away from him- abandoned him- he who had loved her so deeply, cared for her so completely- when no one else would call her friend, when no one else would take her hand? He and he alone- had reached out to her. 'And how...did you repay that kindness?' She had done as her Father had bid her. She had turned her back on both him and the dazzling world he had promised her. It would have been easy- to accept everything- to willingly, easily form the words he so desperately wanted from her- and yet...'You cannot possible imagine...what that would have meant.'

She could never forget- the warmth of his hand. The smile, gentle in its agony. And the dark, probing depths of eyes the color of a stormy sea as they had stared with intensity into her own. She had been young then- perhaps far too young to understand what she had seen in those bright blue eyes, what he had asked of her. Perhaps...she never would.

Even so...she felt sick with the weight of her own betrayal, even though he had never once blamed her, had never once hated her. 'But it was because of me...if it were not for me...if it were not for my weakness, if it were not for- No...I can't...I can't bare to think of it!' She sunk into the dark gloom of her silken sheets, the phone receiver clutched tight in her palm. She remembered it like it was yesterday- how they would whisper, murmur to one another late into the night beneath a canopy of stars. Neji had not been quite so overbearing then, her father not quite so callous in the time before. She had always been one who listened, one who watched. And he- had been one who spoke, one who lived. Complete opposites- shy creature and the dazzling boy who had grasped her hand.'It's too late for us to ever go back to those days. It's always been too late. And still...these memories still haunt me. I...truly am...foolish. I know this...I know that I can never go back to that time...I know that I should not do this...But I...want to know-'

-before she can regret it, before she can fight it- she is dialing his number.

With breathless anticipation, she waits. It rings. Once. Twice. Thrice. And then- a dull clutter of sound [Has he dropped it?] A far off sound, half growl, half sleep filled yawn. And then- "Hello?" his voice is heavy, deep, dark with sleep. Against herself, she hangs up, shoves it underneath her pillow, puling her sheet overhead. Her heart pounds violently, aching in the confines of her chest in the darkness. But she knows it is coming, as if she has heard it in a dream. Her phone rings, starling her. She fights the nausea threatening to overwhelm her as it rings hollow in the dark. Once. She struggles to remember how to breathe. Twice. This is wrong, she should not, must not answer- she knows this, she understands this and yet- Thrice- she gathered it to herself with shaky hands- answers- and then- frightened- says nothing.

"Ah! So it is you Hina-chan." He states quietly, his voice still- dark, heavy. But it is clearer now, more alert- filled with the same odd pointed interest, a focused intensity that she could feel even though she could not see him. "Bold enough to call, but too shy to speak? How like you eh?" He laughs. The sound is dark, from the pit. She shivers involuntarily, feeling her grip tighten. Her knuckles are ashen. There is much she wants to say- but then she feels as if all the words have left her.

"Hmm...and what is the Hyuuga heiress doing awake at this hour…? Thinking of me?" He hums quietly, joyously underneath his breath as if pleased. She fidgets nervously, feeling the heat warm her cheeks but as always- in that subtle, masterful way of his- he shifts her mind away from the truth. It is hard to find her focus, to find her voice- she tries to say something, anything- but the words lingering there seem just out of reach. He continues- "Were you sleeping? Oh! I bet you were dreaming neh?" Curiously, brightly- "And what does the princess dream of I wonder?" Said fondly- as if he didn't know. He knew...that her dreams were always filled with blue eyes and warm hands, but he jests regardless of the truth. "Surely not some unclaimed mongrel-"

"Y-Y-Y-You're not-!" She began in a single breath, the words leaping from her lips before she could ever hope to contain them at the reminder of the black rumors that had long plagued him. "Ha! Got ya!" He laughs, his voice mocking in its cheerfulness. "Still the same Hina-chan after alll! It always did bother you when Neji used to speak ill of me." He continued, as if through a smile. She feels her face flame- she presses her lips together tightly at a fleeting, passing memory. But before she can grasp it, he continues- "You know I didn't mind it- but it always seemed to bother you neh? I wonder why-" Her heart sputters erratically- beating unsteadily- she places a hand over it, feeling how quickly it was racing beneath her palm. Against herself- she wants to cry again. Why did such things bother her? Why did they trouble her? She imagines TenTen's face, tight with anger. The ice cold fury in Neji's eyes. And her Father- She feels it now, on her lips. The truth. It is- "I-I-I...t-that's...b-because-"

"Be quiet." He states suddenly, the curt words silencing her with a firm reprimand. She is taken aback, stunned- even though the words had no bite. "You don't need to say anything remember? I know." He said the words fondly, with the same finality she had always felt, had always known. "N-N-Naruto…kun…" She stammers- for the first time in a long time, the words wrenching themselves from the root of her being so painfully she feels as if she has been cut to the heart, raw and unfounded. She hasn't said the words enough, never will- "B-Because of m-me...you..." She feels the same old knot of agony, lodged in her of her- "I-I-I….I am- sorr-" But it doesn't need to be said. He shushes her gently, quietly. "I know." She feels the tears again, already beginning to course down her cheeks in a silent heavy stream. She muffles the cry that wants to leave her lips, the scream of torment, of madness that has always been lodged deep in her being.

"...Don't Hina-chan." He knows. She places her closed fists against her lip, curls her form tightly into a ball of misery, of barely restrained sorrow. This- this is foolish- she should not- could not- and yet- "I-I-" She cannot find them, the traitorous words that she has always known. She cannot find them even though she knows they are there, and have always been there. But he knows. Carefully, gently- his voice is coaxing, comforting-"Hina-chan….do you remember…the promise I made to you?" 'Of course-I have never...never once forgotten it-' she had never been able to forget, would never be able to forget. "Y-Yes…" she murmured out quietly, and he hummed again at her admittance, pleased. In the dark of her chamber, she feels the slow, steady throbbing of her heart again, anxious and pained. Reminding her with every passing moment- 'This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This-'

"Ha! Then you know I'm a stubborn idiot right?" He added in jest, coaxing a smile to rise, unbidden, through the tormented anguish of her face. "I never go back on my word." She knows this for truth. Always, always, he- "Did you believe me then?" He stated softly, but in her mind the words became- 'Do you believe me now?' Again- she cannot speak, she only knows this- "Naruto-kun-" She swallows, fighting the bitter wave of sorrow threatening to sweep her away, the hollow empty remains of the wide eyed girl she had been. "Y-You know...I-I d-don't…I-I c-can't- I-I…I-I'm not-"

"The Book. You should finish it." He states suddenly, powerfully, shocking her into silence. "Didn't I tell you to finish what you started? I intend to." She feels it again- the hairs rising on the back of her neck, the goosebumps breaking out along her skin. She hears it- the shift in his voice- how it begins to deepen, to darken- becoming- "And more than anything- you should go shouldn't you? Isn't that what girls live for? The chance to be for even a moment- more than themselves? The chance to experience that feeling- powerful, overwhelming- the chance to revel in their beauty, in their power? Oh dearest-" 'His voice-!'It betrays him- she feels her blood begin to run cold at the deepening, the darkening of it. For a moment, abruptly she thinks in a moment of ice cold fear- 'T-his is not 'Naruto'. T-This is-'— "-Are you afraid?" - it is him again, 'Naruto''s voice again, before she could fully realize the horror of her revelation, the reminder of what was still unsaid.

She remembers acutely again, the moment when under the dark of the coming night with the too short boy of ten- 'was it ten? Or was it not? I can't...remember- I don't...want to think of it-' -his lips had found hers. He had promised to set her free. And in return- She shakes away the memory, pushes it back below, hides it somewhere deep. She reminds herself not to forget again, not to let the warmth of his smile, his hands, his eyes, deter her from the truth. But as always, always- she is too afraid to face it, too frightened to voice it and make it real. She hides the truth in the reminder of her Father, remembering the cold of his eyes. "…you k-know t-that I…c-cannot. M-My Father- h-he w-won't a-allow it. So I...I c-can't-"

"You will." He states again, with that same soft note of command. And in that moment she felt as if it were her choice no longer, as if it never had been. As soon as the words had left his lips she felt as if he..was right. And that- she...would. Somehow, someway- she would find herself right where he wanted her. But even so- more than anything- she knew the reach of her father, of Neji's cold gaze watching over her. It was- impossible- there was no way- she could not- But he always spoke to her as if she were free, as if she had reign to do whatever she pleased. As if not once had the thought ever occurred to him that she could not, that she was bound by duty, by birthright. He would laugh if she told him she was afraid of her father, of Neji- he would laugh at her pointless fears, her baseless worry. And that was because she knew what he was thinking- she knew what he wanted, what he expected of her.

"Haven't I told you? You should do the things you want to do." He stated firmly, with the same conviction as always. "Oh Hina-chan...haven't you learned that yet?" How easily...he could say those words to her. And with such fondness, with such conviction. As if it were easy, as if always had been. "N-Naruto-kun...I...I am n-not a-as s-strong as y-you. I...I h-have n-never b-been-"

Abruptly- he laughs. "Oh Hina-chan!" He laughs again, mischievously, fondly- "Ah! See!? That's why no one else will do...That's why it has to be you." He stated suddenly, ferociously, his voice darkening with such a sudden passion that it robbed her of breath. She felt the heat flood her face, felt an electric tingle racing down her spine with a heat that she had never been able to understand. "You're the strongest girl I've ever known."

But his voice has shifted again- and against himself, against the rules he had so carefully constructed— "Eh It's getting late isn't it? Good girls should be in bed by now shouldn't they? But there's one more thing- tomorrow morning, at sunrise. I want to see you. You know where don't you? I'll be waiting. But as always- the choice is yours neh?"

He doesn't give her room to answer. This time, maybe he already knows what she'll say. But before she can voice a protest in edgewise- she is greeted with the mocking tone of the dial.

And she knows...this could be the end of her.

-She knows what her father would say, what he would think. She knows what fate would befall her should Neji catch her- and yet- she rises with the first creeping rays of dawn, as the morning rays warm the cold of her chamber. Quietly, silently- she rises, dresses in the morning chill.

Her mind is blank- she does not want to think of anything, does not want to remind herself once more that this- is foolish. She feels as if she has no choice- as if she has been waiting forever for the events that would soon transpire. And he know it, has known it. And maybe she too- has known it, has felt it.

'I know that he has been waiting for this, waiting for this moment ever since-' But she could only shake the dark of her head. What...was she doing? Why- why after all this time- was he finally reaching out to her? He had seemed content to simply watch her from afar, to haunt her with his smile- and sometimes- to taunt her with the reminder of everything that was between them, if the secret between them. But this- 'What...w-what is i-it that he wants from me?' She thought quietly, fearfully to herself. 'If it's...the promise-' But she didn't want to remember, didn't want to think of it. In the end- she was...the same old coward, the same weakling as always. 'You're...still running away- from him- from your burdens, your destiny-from the truth-'

But against herself she remembers his words. ["Ah! See!? That's why no one else will do. That's why it has to be you."]- She knows better than to trust him- and yet she does. She knows better than to believe him- and yet she does. She knows better than to admit that deep down in the dark of her heart- 'You cannot. Must not. You can't allow yourself to forget the truth. That...that he is-' But she cannot give the words voice, give them form. She listens patiently outside of her door for the quiet silence of Neji's footsteps- and hears nothing. He has no doubt already departed for morning meditation, where he would go alongside her father to steel his resolve and strengthen his mind from being vulnerable to darkness, to temptation. ["I want to see you."] Despite what he had said- she knows the truth of her own weakness. But for the moment- she does not regret it.

Oh Beloved- the time draws ever nearer. And I- have been waiting. I have always been waiting for the moment when you would come, when you would hearken to me. Not yet, Not yet- but soon, very soon- it has begun- the beautiful moment in which you will come into yourself, the fullness of your truth. Again I know- that it will be difficult- Again, I know- that you will not think you can bear it. You will not think that you are strong enough for this- for me-

-but dearest-

-you are. It is why I choose you.

And for me- for us both- it is far too late. You can no longer be redeemed. You can no longer be saved. Because now- no one else will do. Above all others, beyond all that is precious, beyond all that is sacred-

-It has to be you.

The large oak tree is towering overhead now- larger- reaching it seems, to the very heavens overhead. Back then- it had seemed so large- now, it was even more so. 'It has been a long time...since I have been here.' She stands before it, gently places her hand against the knotted wood, the familiarity of this place rising to the surface. It is a small opened clearing, the wild grass overgrown now, ringed by tightly interwoven trees, growing as one upwards far overhead. When she had been young- the small meadow had been filled with flowers. In the shadowy fog of her memories, she remembers acutely the pale skinned visage of her mother, seated there with her-

'But even then...she had been frail...a pale, slip of nothing...it seemed as if at any moment...she was going to slip away from me. If only...if only I had known then...' She swallowed the same old sadness, fought the same bitter tears. It was too late now. Then- her mother had seemed to her a walking spirit, a shadow of the magnificent woman she had been told tales of. She knew what it was- that had paled her skin, that had seems to steal the very life from her veins, her very spirit.

-It had been the burden of their lineage, the weight of their expectations, the reminder that above all else, before she was a woman, before she was herself, before she could live her truth, she was a Hyuuga- more than anyone else- 'Now I know. Now...I understand why she felt the way she did. Now I understand why she...would come here to be alone with her sorrow. And why she...wanted to bring me with her. She knew that maybe someday...one day...I would share her fate.' The thought was one that had pained her on many sleepless nights. All within the clan had known of it- how the beautiful Hyuuga heiress was fated to one heir, when she yet loved another...but...as always...one's duty to the clan preceded all else. One must always think of the clan. One must always remember their lineage, their birthright.

She remembers her father again- and how hatefully, how spitefully his words and gaze would find her. And he...had remarried not long after her mother's passing. To this day- there was yet another whom she had never seen- one who would yet carry on their lineage in ways that she could not. A sister who had the strength that she did not. A sister who could be the heir the clan needed, one the clan deserved. Where as she- "You are weak. You have always been weak. But you will yet serve some purpose."

'And Neji's gaze...is as cold as my father's.' It was a painful, sobering thought. The gaze not to protect, to cherish- but one built to conquer, to overwhelm, to take until there was nothing left. Again- she feels as if she is suffocating, as if she is drowning. 'But Mother...you...felt the same way didn't you? You suffered the same way...didn't you? Did you also...want to be saved?' And yet- she could still remember the echo of her mother's laughter, ringing hollow in the halls. 'But you never once hated him. You tried your hardest to please him, to please them. But even so...once you had outlived your usefulness...he let you waste away into nothing.' She understood not- how her mother had felt. Understood completely the absolute loneliness that had driven her here, to this place, to this clearing seeking peace and reflection. She understood now why her mother had always seemed to look at her with such adoration, with such wordless devotion, with such pity. Maybe she had known that having a daughter born from the same weakness as herself...would result in one that would share her same fate.

'But even so...you would yet smile through your pain...and you would...smooth the dark of my hair with your hands. You would...weave a crown of flowers to place on my head. And...you would say-'

['Oh my dearest...' Cooed softly, lovingly, as she wiped the tears away from large pale eyes. She had the same eyes- pale, soft and filled with a quiet agony that she could never voice. The same beautiful dark hair, rippling behind her. The same fragile hands. But even so- she would speak through her own tears, comforting her as best as she could. 'Don't cry love, don't cry. Haven't I told you?' She would smile beautifully, wonderfully at this- 'I came here- and I asked the heavens to give me a child- and an angel gave you to me. So dearest- if you're ever sad, if you're ever lonely- come here and speak. And maybe, just maybe...one day...your angel will answer you too-]

Here- it had been here- on a night unlike any other. Many years after- that he had held her hand while she cried, angry, bitter tears. He had wiped them away gently with his own. 'Don't worry-' He had said in the moment before. 'I'll wait. And someday, somehow- I'll set you free.' She remembers again- the way those blue eyes had drawn closer, closer- and the sweet warmth of his lips. He withdrew with a smile- but in his eyes- there was more. 'And in return...there is one thing I would ask of you...'

A warm hand makes it way over her eyes, another encircling her waist with an ease that stunned her in its familiarity. "Guess who?" He asks boisterously, like a child. She gasps aloud, feeling her face flame, her heart beating erratically in her chest, seeming to jump straight into her throat. For a moment she finds she lacks the strength to do anything save stand their stupidly, in shock and embarrassment, before finally she feels the words stumbling from her lips- "N-N-N-Naruto-k-kun-" Voicing his name seems to solidify the reality of his arms around her, the long, lean lines of his form pressed gently against her own, encircling her in that same overbearing warmth. It- is not the boy of ten holding her tightly to himself. It is a man's body- dwarfing her own in a way that made her anxious, that made her understand. He was no longer- the sweet faced child from her memory...

She sucks in a breath, making a sudden, violent, anxious motion to leave his grasp- but he stops her, trapping her in a loose hold that only whispered of the same careless strength as always. "Hmm I don't think so! I like you right where you are!" He laughs at this, as if in jest- and she can only fidget anxiously, nervously in his grasp- conscious in the dark that she is acutely aware of her heart hammering in her chest. She feels as if he can hear it too, as if he can sense it, and as if he is pleased because of it- she can already imagine the smile that she knows is on his face.

"L-L-Let me g-g-go." She whispers quietly, surprised at how fragile, how pained the words sounded as they left her lips. She waits breathless in the dark for his answer, swallowing nervously as she feels him lowering his head. And quietly, softly- "No." She feels it again- that same odd feeling beginning to make itself known in her chest. The same odd tingle racing down her spine. The goosebumps. She shudders nervously in the heat of his arms. Something inside of her is tightening, winding- something she could neither voice nor understand. But he knew- drawing nearer- she closes her eyes tightly in the dark, to the point of pain. "N-Naruto-kun-" She stammers out pathetically- because she knows to struggle is futile- that to fight him, to fight this- is pointless. In this moment she feels weak with the reality of her own helplessness, the reality of the truth that seems to exist in the callous strength of his embrace.

In the darkness he murmurs sweetly, darkly to her- "What were you thinking about?" He asks quietly, the heat of his breath ghosting along the shell of her ear, making everything that was within her rise to the surface in one rush of heat and shame. But his voice is coaxing, curious- but she can think no longer, can think of nothing but the warmth of his body pressed against her own, the way her entire body seemed to be shuddering, trembling in his grasp. "…I-It was….n-nothing…"

"Nothing?" He added incredulously, scoffing aloud at the half hearted words. "You shouldn't lie to me Hina-chan." He stated petulantly, like a child, blowing gently into the shell of her ear. She jumped in his grasp at the warmth of his breath, fighting the sound threatening to burst between her lips. She feels as if her heart cannot possible beat any faster than it is in this moment, roaring so loudly in her ears that she feels as if at any moment she would fall into unforgiving darkness. The heat of his body, molded firmly against her own, the overwhelming warmth of his embrace- her breath sounds haggard, pained- she feels as if she is a moment away from fainting- "Should I tell you what you were thinking about?" He states quietly, hotly. It is his voice again- deepening, darkening again- she is going to faint, she is going to burst into flames she-

"But I won't!" He added with a sharp laugh, suddenly releasing her. She comes to herself immediately, gasping aloud as she spun away from his grasp, sucking in a large breath as she clutched her hands tight to her chest. Her heart- was thrumming violently beneath her palm- she feels flushed, overwhelmed, as if she had been bathing in the sun- warm- she feels overwhelmingly warm- she feels as if she cannot collect her thoughts, her mind blank. She views him hesitantly, still remembering with a hard swallow that he had only released her because he had wished to do so, not because she had asked. That was the type of being that he was- he always- did as he pleased. And with that same unforgiving strength- But she can't say anything at the look of triumph in his eyes. He smiles brightly, cheerfully, at the anxious look in her own, as if to assure her once more- that he meant her no harm.

"Eh? You shouldn't look so worried Hina-chan." He added conversationally, the same bright smile still etched into the lines of his face. But beyond that smile- was more. "You know I like to mess with you is all." He continued with another laugh as he stepped away, resting the long, lean lines of his form easily against the worn bark of the oak tree. In the dim of morning, he watched her. Now- his bright blue eyes seemed brighter, deeper, more pronounced than before. "But that's enough playing around wouldn't you say? Why...why did you come?"

He asked her clearly, in that straightforward way of his. Blue eyes- did not waver for even a moment from her own. Again she is reminded once more that this is not the face of the sweet faced boy she had loved. This man standing before her- despite how loud his laughter, despite how wide his smile- was a man in full control of his power, who understood completely the hold he had on her. Truthfully the question was not- 'Why did you come-' -but she can see it in his smile- 'What took you so long..?'

She had no answer. And yet she wants to ask again. In her memory always- those childhood days stretched behind her, sprawling, never-ending. The too short boy of ten- and then- here was the lines of the tall proud man of twenty standing before her. There had never- been an in between. Her mind is assaulted with fleeting, flashing moments, disjointed snippets of thought slowly rising to the surface-

"I…I d-don't k-know…" She stammers. She cannot say it, does not. Again- she feels as if she is standing on some dark, far flung shore, waiting for the tide to pull her under. Dragging her down into an abyss she cannot begin to fathom- she knows only that it's filled with the cold echoes of his smile. "Yes. You do." He interjected smoothly, his blue eyes, searching, knowing. His voice- but abruptly as if the thought has struck him, it shifts again, becoming more gentle, more coaxing. "You've always known Hinata." He added, with a wry, dark smile. "You don't want to. But you do." She feels sick at what she sees in his eyes.

"Hinata-" but in the words, in the suddenly dark tint to cloudy blue eyes- is something she has always known, has always felt. His eyes almost betray him- but he hides it- the look of pure longing, of heat that flashes through his eyes for the briefest of moments. He hides it in his smile. "You have always...trusted me completely haven't you? Even though you know the truth-" He smiles, this time if only to himself.

"Ah...You've always been such a good girl. Even though you have never quite been able to say what you want. To do what you pleased. You've always let so many things go unsaid. The words you want to say to your father- the words you want to say to that silly 'husband' of yours...even now, after all this time- it really did take you awhile to ask even me eh? I'm almost hurt you know? I thought we were friends!" he spoke in jest, flinching and grasping his chest mockingly as if she had wounded him deeply.

"I knew it would take time- but man, I honestly never thought it would take you that long. To finally ask me- But wait-!"he held up a finger pointedly, childishly again, his smile mischievous. "This was my favorite part you know? I have to get it juuuuust right-" He pauses, his brow furrowed in concentration as he parted his lips- and to her utmost surprise, to her horror- it is her own voice that leaves his lips. Disjointed- she feels as if she is dreaming- it is the image of the man she loves, she adores- but she it is her voice leaving his lips, every shuddering, breathless word as she had said- "N-Naruto-kun...Who are you?"

She feels it again- as if the entire world is spinning out of focus- she is struck immobile from the force of her shock, a crippling anxiety that renders her helpless before him. The air is changing, shifting again, becoming something darker, something heavy, something that far exceeded her naive understanding of the man before her. But he only smiles at the look of torment, of pained anguish that is beginning to blossom on her face. It is the same old game as always- but the rules are changing, have changed. But his mood changes again- his smile turns fleeting, forlorn.

"But that was the wrong question again...wasn't it?" He murmured quietly. "But it's alright...you know I don't blame you. Rather I think I know you better than most wouldn't you say Hina-chan?" He added gently, taking a slow, lnaguid step towards her. "Such as...how I know you don't want them to know...how it horrifies you to think of it- of the reality of the truth. I know...how it has plagued you-" Softly, sweetly- she can't think, she can't breathe- she feels as if she is a frail wisp of nothing, standing outside of herself and watching this moment unfold. He steps closer to her, his hooded gaze still rendering her immobile. He draws closer- she wants to step back but she feels frozen, rooted to the spot-as he softly murmurs-

"But he knows- your father. He is not the old fool you think he is. Why do you think…he has gone to such length to warn you away from me? Why do you think…he has finally decided to move forward with your engagement?" Dangerous- she feels the goosebumps rise along her skin again, feels the small delicate hairs rising on the back of her neck again- the same electric tingle racing from head to spine with frightening heat. He reaches out his hand- and carefully, gently- tucks a lock of dark hair behind her hair. She imagines that she feels the bite of claws but- "N-Naruto-" She wants to tell him to stop- but she cannot- wants to tell him to go, but cannot- wants to tell him to leave but-

"-you know what he wants to do. Him and all his ilk- they've always been the same with their women neh? And do not mistake him. He will break you. He will ruin you. He wants to destroy you completely. He hates you- because of the one who came before you, because of me. But that's how he's always been." Closer, closer, closer her vision is filled with blue as he leans nearer, whispers quietly-

"And still- you still won't answer me? Even though you know that all you have to do...is say the word? My cute little Hina-chan. My sweet, selfless girl." The sweetly, dangerously murmured words- his voice- is darkening again- she knows his control is slipping, taunted by her closeness, the song of her blood. This close- she can see clearly the flash of his fangs, the red beginning to ring the blue. But she doesn't want to hear this- she knows what he is going to say- he had always laughed at her weakness, at her inability to do what came so naturally to him- to be free. It was why he had promised her freedom, why he had sealed it with a kiss. But she doesn't want to hear this- she doesn't want to hear this- she feels sick again with the memory, the reminder of the moment when they had pulled the sheet up to cover her mother's corpse.

"You have always put them before yourself, despite how much they have bound you, despite how much they have chained you. Is that...what you want? To wind up just like her? Just like-" Don't say it. Don't say her name. Stopit. Stopit. Stopitstopitstopitstopit-

"Stop it!" the words rips themselves from her so suddenly it startles them both with the violence with which they had left her. Imperceptibly- his eyes widen, taken aback by her sudden outburst- but he withdraws immediately, reminding her once more of the careful rules he had set. He takes with him the overpowering weight of his shadow. She hangs her head, fighting it- fighting the silly, helpless urge to scream, to cry- again- she feels as if she wants to cry again- her shoulders are tense, her hands tightened into pale fists- but he watches her carefully, with something far more dangerous than pity, far more profound than sympathy. But it's no use any longer- she hangs her head- hiding her gaze from the bewitching power that lie in his own. her mind was a storm of emotions she could not begin to unwind- she is conscious of nothing but the same old knot lodged in her throat. Foolishly- she regrets the way she had pushed him away, as she always did. And then- she remembered all over again. She draws in a long, painful breath, tries to calm her racing pulse.

'Everything is happening so fast...I've...I've already said too much, done too much- I can't take much more of this- what...what is is he wants? He cannot...break the rules. It's fine...I know...that he can't hurt me...I know...that he doesn't want to hurt me, he never has. All he wants...is my answer. And I-'

"It's alright." His words cut through the roar of her mind slowly, carefully lulling her back into a state of calm. She breathes deeply, fighting the fear, the nausea that wants to make itself known. She is reminded again, of the reality of this moment.

"Don't be afraid. Don't you…trust me? Don't you…love me?" He asks her quietly. But it's pointless- he always knows the answer to both of those questions. He only asks to remind her. But again- there is a dangerous edge to his sweet, coaxing words- a dark tint to the heat of his half lidded eyes. She dares not raise her head- she knows better, she understands now that to do so is a weakness, that to do so is an opening and yet- she cannot fight it, cannot fight him.

"Naruto-kun-" But the blue eyes that meets hers are warm, sensuous, dark with promise. "You know…that it's already too late right...? You've already called me here. And I...intend to finish what I started. I intend...to keep my promise." She didn't want to remember- could not remember- always- her memories came in disjointed bursts, in fragmented pieces. The warmth of his hand. The echo of his laughter. The pure sweetness of his lips as they had found hers. But deeper, further, darker, the truth-

"I-I-I d-d-don't u-understand." She stammered out helplessly, fighting the wave of panic, of horror, seeming to hang over her, waiting to unleash fully the reality of this moment that was still happening right before her eyes. She has never understood, has never been able to grasp it- the truth. But it is here, right before her eyes. It is his shadow, clearly, darkly, right beneath her feet- "Y-You -h-have n-never...t-told me. N-Not even o-once. You know that I...I c-cannot...w-will not answer you. And y-yet...W-Why w-won't y-you leave m-me? W-what...w-what i-is it t-that you w-want? " She asks him, her eyes pained, tormented as they rise to meet his.

And for the first time since she has known him, for the first time since the very beginning- blue eyes burn red- quickly, fleetingly, like a newly kindled blaze. They roar to life and then fade away again, back to blue, murky and clouded. It is a moment before he answers- but then- a sardonic smile makes its way onto his lips.

"Oh Hina-chan!" Said fondly, lovingly- "Now that one should be easy! The same thing I've always wanted, the same thing I've always craved." He tosses his head back, laughs. In the bright glow of morning it is a dark, foreboding sound. In this moment- no longer does it insight in her a wordless, unfounded awe- she shivers, feeling her entire body begin to tremble- and yet she cannot run, she cannot flee- she knows what he will say- has always known- before the words have ever left his lips.

"You."

AN: Sorry in advance for the crappy editing I'm awful at it sometimes.

Well finally we touch on a few things here: The death of Hinata's mother, who bids her to go to the meadow and 'speak' when she's lonely- the fact that her mother had the same fate as herself and was equally miserable- and a little more of the truth.

What is Naruto now? And what was the vow exactly? Hmm...

I was trying to keep Naruto swinging between innocent boy and menacing creature but somehow I'm not sure if I pulled it off- he seems mostly menacing to me...I apologize in advance for making Hinata so helpless for the moment, don't worry she will find her voice. i intended this to be short and to the point, but this seems as if it is changing into a longer fic than I had anticipated...Anyway hope you all enjoy this weeks chapter. Please do drop me a line and let me know how you like it.