After I dropped off Cassie I went straight home. I don't know how I even made it because my mind wasn't even on the road, I drove the entire way in a daze. When I came home I went right to my room and just sat on the bed, all night. I was afraid to sleep, to even blink because I was afraid of what I would see. Everything was starting to come to be like a flood.

I remember seeing lots of unmoving people, screams from all sides of the ferry, a the smell of something burning. That likely being the fire the Witch Hunters started. I was afraid to sleep because I knew I was going to get horrible nightmares and think of disturbing images.

Since the night before I feel hollow like I just just can't grasp life anymore. I've been through alot of things but nothing like what I went through last night.

I saw my parents. I haven't seen them since that day when I snuck on the boat and my memory of them was starting to fade but now there faces are forever engraved inside my head, especially my mothers.

I can still hear her screams for help and see how scared she was, thats something I will never be able to forget. I couldn't save her no matter how much I tried. I knew I wouldn't be able to because it was already placed in time and I wasn't there time traveling but just knowing I was on the other side of that glass and I could have done something pained me.

I watched my mom die. Played over and over in my head like a song on repeat and it was all I could think about. My mom banged on the door looking for help, I was on the other side and I couldn't get the damn door open, the stupid stupid door!

Why? Why did bad things happen to me? I didn't do anything wrong. I was told my brother died and I was told my parents died and I grew up angry because of it. What kid wouldn't? Getting your parents taken away from you at a young age not knowing what really happend was gonna turn someone into a screw up and that screw up was me.

I always knew there was more to the story then people told, probably because somewhere in the back of my mind I knew the truth I was just to scared to see it. I went to school and got in fights, I didn't respect teachers, I failed classes I didn't care for, I was the screw up.

I never did disrespect my Aunt and Uncle though next to Nick they were the only family I had left. I can't say I was the Golden Child but I sure as hell wasn't the Bad Seed either, I guess thats why I always tried to push Nick to be better then me. He had it worse then I did because he never really knew our parents, he had the attention span of three seconds when they died, murdered I should say. I bet he had it hard, but I didn't want him to dwell on our parents.

He knew very little and thats why I wanted him just to move on in life. He didn't know the things I did as I got older, he didn't find our family's Book of Shadows, he wasn't angry all the time. Nick was the one who should have had a normal life.

Maybe it is my fault that bad things happen to me, I was the one pissing everyone off and now people don't trust or like me. Karmas a bitch but I guess I deserve it and its like I told Cassie, it doesn't bother me. I made my bed I have lie in it, its just I was so mad because I didn't like not having answers about my parent's death and then when I found the book and about magic I was mad that my parents died because of power hungry Witches and thought that was the same reason Nick died. Turns out I was way wrong.

Either way my life sucks right now and theres nothing I can do to change it. What happend happend, no use in fixing something you can't.

Its not all true I guess. I did stop working with the Witch Hunters so I could protect Cassie, that changed my life. I mean yea there probably out to kill me now for turning my back on them but stopping one bad thing to do something good is a nice step in the right direction. Maybe I should be following the steps they give you in rehab, well the steps after admitting you have a problem, I'm way past that.

Then again Cassie made me want to change. I denied feeling something for her but in truth I did. Two reasons I did that were because at the time she was part of the Circle I thought killed my brother and two because I didn't want to get hurt. I've been hurt many times but if it was gonna be by Cassie I wasn't gonna let her get close.

When I met her she was just a girl that was part of the plan, but she was different. Like when I told Cassie she caught me by surprise when we first met it was true because I didn't expect her as the girl Nick was talking about. I was a little curious to who he was talking about but I just blew it off as some chick Nick wanted to toy with and then I met her and she was everything I expected her not be. I thought she was just some girl who liked attention from guys, like the female version of my brother.

I am not saying Nick is the one who made me fall for her, that was all on my own. What I felt for Cassie Blake I felt on my own. She surprised me with the way it was so easy for her to talk to me. I'm sure her Grandmother, Diana, Faye and Adam all told her what a jerk I was and to stay away from me but apparently she didn't let that stop her from getting to know me.

I guess you can say I started to feel something for Cassie after what she said to me at the Boathouse when we were outside.

"Underneath all that atittude, you don't really seem like the guy everyone should hate."

How can you say that to someone you just met? She heard all these rumors about me, most being true, and she still treated me like a person. Most people who hear a story about someone they just met define that person, I was so sure Cassie would back away after hearing them but she kept talking to me.

Thats when I started letting some walls down. She was so easy to talk to and they way she didn't let others stories about me define who I was made me want to get to know her a little more, then came the night at Faye's Grandpa's house. When we kissed I felt more walls come down and with that kiss I felt something that was totally unfamiliar to me.

It was when she asked me to go with her to that Maritime thing that I knew I had feelings for her, I just denied it because I was mad at myself for lying to her when she was that big difference in my life. I always felt something between us and when she admitted she did too something just shifted, like my life was starting to go on a different course.

Alot has changed over the past few weeks whether good or bad but its still a road I'm on and still a life I have to live. Hopefully Cassie is part of that because she means something to me and I can't lose the last good thing in my life.

Cassie

I got home about an hour later after Diana and I talked. She really helped me get through my feelings but I still am thinking about Jake. I wish there was something I could do but what? I mean he and I talked alot but not on an emotional level so there wasn't anything I could do till he talked to me.

I saw that he was home when I pulled up but there didn't seem to be any activity at his house so maybe he was asleep still, if he could even get sleep after what he saw.

When I came into the house I went to the laundry room to throw in clothes I had already worn after being at Diana's and then went upstairs to change. When I changed into fresh clothes in my bathroom I couldn't help but look out the window and see if Jake was there. I moved some curtains out of the way and looked.

It was dark in the room but I could see a figure sitting on the bed. I knew it was Jake something told me it was, but what should I do? Try and get his attention or give him some space? I didn't have to think hard because I saw Jake turn to look at me, probably sensing someone looking at him.

I smiled at him not really knowing what to do. Jake sat there for a few minutes then got off the bed, disappering into his room somewhere. My smiled dropped, I guess he just wanted some space. I can understand though, after seeing what we did last night I'd probably want people to leave me alone too.

I let go of the curtain and headed back downstairs. I picked up my phone off the end table by the stairs curled up on the couch with a nice quilt my Grandma had. I guess now that my feelings for Adam and Jake are sorted out enough to keep me sane I could start thinking about my father, only that task is starting to feel impossible because Jake still won't leave my mind.

Before I could even begin my inner rampage of thinking about Jake, the doorbell rang. I got up, curious to who it could be.

I opened the door and saw Jake standing there, still in his cothes from yesterday and looking so tired, like he just came back from war.

"Hey," he said

"Hey."

"Can I come in?" he asked

I nodded and moved so he could come in. I closed the door behind me. "You want anything?"

Jake shook his head.

I walked back over to the couch a sat down, he followed. We sat there neither of us saying anything, how can you start a conversation after everything that happend?

"You okay?" I finally asked.

Jake sighed and leaned back into the couch. "Define okay."

I sat up straighter and pulled a leg up to rest my chin on my knee. "Okay like not going to go on a murderous rampage."

Jake smiled a bit. "I'm not going to go on a murderous rampage, I promise."

"Good," was all I said and then it was quiet again.

"What about you? You okay?" he asked me.

"Define okay," I told him

Jake looked at me kind of amused. "Okay like your not scared of what your going to find out now that you know your dad is alive."

"Then I'm not okay."

I was terrified about the things I was going to learn now that I know my father is alive. So much was going to be revealed.

It was quiet again. I don't think Jake and I knew how to comfort each other after everything that happend.

"Cassie I'm sorry," Jake said

I looked up at him confused. "About what?"

"About the position I put you in. Making you feel confused about me and Adam and stressing you out about your father and Dark Magic, I should have just kept my mouth shut and none of this would be happenig."

"No Jake its not your fault. No matter what anyone says you helped me find answers to questions I was dying to know, I don't have all of them but right now its enough and I am very thankful for that," I told him.

I was thankful Jake helped me find answers, he was the only one who could. He gave me answers and information the Circle couldn't.

"Well now that we got that part covered, what about the part about me and Adam?" he asked.

I sighed. "Jake I really don't want to do this right now."

Jake sat up facing me. "Well I didn't want to it the night you asked me to that fundraiser but we did anyway, so call this a little payback," he said smiling at me a bit.

I smiled. "Yea and where did that get us?"

Jake looked away for a second. "Alright you have point there but I still gave you an explanation. Mostly it being a lie and what you didn't want to hear but I still gave you one."

"What do you want me to say Jake?"

"I don't know maybe I'm just trying to convince myself your still the girl who told me she feels something between us," he said.

I looked at him. "I am and I do," I said in a small voice. I didn't want Jake to think I didn't care for him.

"But Adam right? and your father," he said not a bitter tone but matter of fact one.

"Thats not fair Jake," I said.

"Well what do you want me to say Cassie? That it doesn't bug me that you and Adam have something, I care about you and its hard knowing you have feelings for another guy," Jake told me.

I huffed. Maybe I should have let him have his space, I really didn't want to argue with him.

"You wanna hear how I feel? Well you already know because I told you. I told you when I asked you to the fundraiser that I felt something between us and you told me when you were on my doorstep that you felt something between us too. I can't tell you if we would have had something or not because thats when I found out you were a Witch Hunter and that you were lying to me the whole time I knew you. Then suddenly your on a boat sailing away and I didn't see you again until the night in the basement," I said.

Jake looked down. "I can admit I made mistakes, the biggest one is lying to you when you saw past all my bull, but everything I said about my feelings for you are true. Everything I said about looking out for you is true, I may have lied about not knowing things and didn't tell you about me working with Witch Hunters but everything I've told you about how I feel for you is true, every single word."

I didn't know what to say to that and because of that it was silent again. I now know at least that he really does feel something for me and truly does care, some might say I shouldn't believe him but no one knows him like I do.

"Jake-" I started.

"If your gonna tell me all of this is just to complicated right now, just forget it," he said and stood up. "I'll show myself out."

I stood up blocking his path. "Stop."

"Cassie-"

"No just stop and listen to me, okay? I heard what you had to say and now your gonna listen to me," I told him.

Jake sighed and sat back down facing toward me. I sat next to him looking straight into his eyes.

"I feel something for you and Adam, nothing is more then the other and nothing is less. Both of you have your good and bads, the ones that keep me from pursuing you and him are the ones that make me feel bad for hurting Diana and my growing feelings for you and the fear I have of you lying and hurting me again and the feelings I have for Adam."

"The things I feel for you are different from what I feel for him. With Adam I'm happy and everything feels so right, with you I have this attraction to you that makes me want to get closer to you. Your so different from everything and I like that. They way you care about me is nothing I've ever felt before and it shows me how much you care about me," I told him.

Jake looked away, taking in what I said to him. "So what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that no matter what you think and what you see, I still care about you and you mean something to me. I don't want to see you leave again."

For seemed like the upteenth time it was quiet again between me and Jake. Maybe I was rushing a bit into my feelings but I wanted to be honest, with the kind of world we live in honesty is the best to live by.

"I don't want to be the guy who your gonna fall for just because the guy you really like is dating your best friend. I'm not gonna let myself get played like that Cassie, especially not by you," he told me.

"Jake I'm not going to play you. I legitimately care about you and I feel something for you, I can never deny that especially after I admitted it to you," I said

"Then where do we go from here? We admit we like each other and theres something between us but then what? We see were the pieces fall and just let everything happen on its own? Cassie that could be years because its going to be so hard for you to chose, I don't want to put that pressure on you especially with all this stuff going on but I can't put myself through the pain of watching you get closer to Adam," Jake said.

I took in what Jake said. If I let everything just happen naturally that could take a while because I would be pushed and pulled from one to the other, always scared and confused at who I want to be with. Maybe Diana was right I should give Jake a chance. If Adam and I are meant to be together then we have all the time in the world to try it out, were so young right now and there wasn't anywhere for me to go, the last of my family was here.

I'm not saying this was a test to see if I really belong with Adam because I do want to be with Jake but it does give an answer if this 'Written in the Stars' thing is true. I guess right now is the time I get to make that real thing in my life happen, with a person whos showed me the real side to him.

"We take things slow," I said looking away. I guess this was the time I'm making a decision and sticking with it. He deserves a chance and I want to give it to him.

"Take what slow?" he asked.

"Us being together," I said looking back at him.

Jake looked at me but I couldn't read his face, he was just stoic.

"Are you saying your giving me a chance?" Jake asked

I nodded starting to feel my throat close up. This was making me scared and little nervous, I couldn't believe right now I was making a choice. Not a choice between Adam and Jake but seeing if Jake really was the guy I know he is, I just don't want to get hurt by him.

Jake sat on the couch just taking everything that was going on and being said. I didn't expect him to be like this when I imagined telling him I'd give him a chance but then again I didn't know what to expect.

"Earth to Jake?" I asked starting to feel kind of worried at his silence.

He smiled. "Sorry I'm still trying to convince myself that you just said that to me."

"Why would you have to convince yourself?" I asked.

"Because its still hard for me to believe that you can trust me the way you do after everything I'm sure you've heard about me," he said

"Well people don't know you the way I do," I said.

Jake smiled again. "So this is really gonna happen between us, you and me?"

I nodded. "Yea it is."

I really am kinda happy that I'm giving Jake a chance, not for only him but me to. Its a chance for us to just find that happiness we both long for and the normal we wish we had. We were that big difference, real things, and the last thing of normal that we had in each others lives.

Jake grabbed my hand and held it tight, giving me that smirk that I find myself starting to enjoy. In that one gesture I knew I was doing something big but it was something that had its own magic in it.