A/N: Whoopsie. I took two months to write this. And a montht o begin writing again. Sorry. This chapter sat in my google drive untouched for a month. Stuff happened. Sorry.

Big announcements at the bottom.

Isekai Dating Sim Help Manual

Lust is defined as a longing desire for something or someone, usually in a sexual manner. This new world will have you lusting after lots of things!

We spent the next day slashing at a few more balloons and then started off back towards Castle Town. I slipped Raphtalia more Medicine as she coughed. She frowned and took it.

「Cured!」

Raphtalia's stats are no longer affected by "Sickness"

Her new stats are:

4S 2W 3T 2C

Interesting. I can see her stats from now on. I checked my "Routes" tab in my menu. It listed her stats, as well as a disturbing sentence.

Thoughts: The Medicine is too bitter…

Uh, that's scary. I can see her thoughts? I mean, maybe useful in battle. I pinned the window to the side of my vision. Raphtalia didn't cough again as we traveled towards the city. I stopped by a shop. It's sign had a potion on it, so I assumed it was a pharmacy. I pulled on the door and let myself through. A bell jingled.

A man was working with something in his hands on his desk. He didn't look up as I entered. I set a bag of medicinal herbs and a few potions on his desk. "How much?" I asked. He glanced at the product then at me. "The Shield Hero, huh?" He sighed and put down some tools. He then examined the herbs inside the pouch.

"These are good. Where'd ya get them, sonny?" he asked. "In the forests out of town. They grow by the river bed." He then looked at the potions. "You acquainted with medicine-making?" I nodded. "A bit, yeah."

The man reached back and then set a mortar and pestle in front of me as well as a box. "Here's some old equipment. I'll trade ya this and some knowledge for your herbs and potions."

"Throw in 10 silvers." I said.

"Five." I nodded and we shook hands. He dropped the coin in my hand and took the herbs and potions. The man showed me how to make some more advanced medicines with the old tools and how to use the herbs. I left the store with new knowledge in mind.

「Talent Training!」

You were trained in Medicine. +3T

I dismissed the notification with a wave of my mental hand. I glanced back at Raphtalia She was eyeing something. I followed her gaze. She was looking at a group of kids playing with a ball enviously. A nearby stall seemed to be selling them. "Want one?" I asked. Raphtalia turned to me and started to shake her head vigorously. Her tail wagged anyway. I sighed and walked up to the stall.

"Those balls are made from balloon scraps, right? Here." I handed the buy some balloon scraps and a small amount of copper coin. He handed back a bouncy ball. I handed the thing to Raphtalia. She marveled at it. "You can play with it after we're done hunting or when we go for a break." I said. She nodded and started to bounce the ball. I let her play with it for a minute then took her back out to the meadows. We went a little deeper and found a new enemy.

「Eggy」

A sentient Rotten egg.

Huh. It jumped with tiny feet. I let it slip to my side and then bashed it into a tree. The egg cracked a little. Raphtalia rushed in and stabbed, prying at the crack. The thing burst open, covering her arm in smelly yolk.

Thoughts: Ewwwww!

She voiced her thoughts immediately with a shout. I scooped some eggshell and absorbed it into my shield.

「Shield Unlock!」

Egg Shield

Ability: Cooking 1

Huh. Cooking would be nice to have. We hunted a few more monsters and retreated to a riverside clearing. I fished with a fishing spear and Raphtalia bathed. I'd be next, I guess. The shield didn't react when I sharpened a stick for spearfishing. It probably thinks it's a tool. The fish seem to be treated like a resource rather than a monster.

I bathed after Raphtalia and then set the fish on skewers to roast. I added a bit of lemon to the fish Raphtalia would eat. She picked one of the skewers up after I signaled they were done.

"Mmmm!" She took a small bite at first, then began chomping down happily. I took a piece of another fish into my mouth. Tasteless. I hope this numb feeling of food in my mouth doesn't last too much longer.

「Feat Completed!」

Minor Feat of Talent! +2T +20AP to Raphtalia.

Raphtalia finished her fish on a stick and laid onto her sleeping mat. I took watch.

The next day, we venture even deeper into the forest. According to Bitch, there's a village just past here. I avoid going the direction she pointed me towards. We encounter a new enemy.

「Usapiru」

A rabid hare with sharp buck teeth.

It lunges for Raphtalia. I slide in to block. It bounces off my shield. What is it with this forest and unrealistically round animals? Everything we've encountered is close to a perfect sphere.

"Raphtalia! Stab it!" I hold down the hare with my shield. Raphtalia has a look of fear on her face. The buck teeth of the Usapiru made a grinding noise against my shield.

"B-But it'll bleed..." She holds her knife with shaking hands. I check the thoughts window.

Thoughts: It's like murder if I kill it, right?

She's young, so I guess it should be expected. "I order you to kill the Usapiru!" Her slave crest shines and she lets out a strangled cry.

「Feat Completed!」

Sinful Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

Fuck off, Dating Sim! I pushed harder on the Usapiru. "Raphtalia, If you can't kill things I can't do my job!"

"Y-Your job?"

"I have to fight the waves! I can't fight them by myself, so if you can't fight, I don't need you!"

「Feat Completed!」

Dastardly Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

"Arrrgh!" The Usapiru squealed under my Shield. "Damn you, DAT-"

My shout was cut off by the squelching sound of Raphtalia's knife sinking into the rabbit. She drew her knife back and stabbed again. The Usapiru went limp with a pained squeal.

Rather than the fear stained face she held before, this one was filled with determination and purpose. Her usually empty eyes seemed to be now be filled with something.

「Route Feat Complete!」

Strong feat of Strength! +5S to Raphtalia, +3S to you.

Oooh, lots of stats. I quickly checked my stats. 12 strength, 16 wit, 15 talent and 10 creativity. My karma level was now 'Sinful' level.

If I use my game knowledge, wouldn't that mean that there would be a hidden number behind that, which decreases with each bad action I take? What happens if it gets to 0?

Hm... thought needs to be put towards this.

"Hyaah!" Raphtalia sunk her knife into a porcupine. Another leapt from the bushes. I slammed it up with my shield. Raphtalia used my upwards facing shield as a stepping stone to jump upwards. She impaled the porcupine. It slid off her knife and she turned around. "I did it!" She raised her knife high.

「Route Feat Completed!」

Raphtalia did a Triple Kill! +5S to her. +3S to you.

Stat increases! After the Usapiru incident, mine and her stats had grown quite a bit. My strength was now 15 and hers was 14. I had gathered a bit of medicine now, and although the pharmacist in the town was giving me good prices, might as well scope out the nearby towns.

We travelled through the forest to a village. It had been marked on the map I got from Uncle. He tried to get me to call him his real name, Elhard or whatever, and I refused. My nicknames stick forever. That's right, lolicobro. I'm looking at you.

「Title Unlocked!」

Common Title: Name-Caller

You Nickname people without their consent. +3W. Karma down!

「Feat Completed!」

Minor Feat of Sloth! Karma Down!

"Damn it!" I punched a tree we walked by. I don't know if something will happen when my Karma hits 0, but it's probably not good. I haven't played much outside of the Dating Sim genre, but that one cyberpunk one had a karma bar like this. When it went down, the police decided you were shooting practice.

Though, he was a criminal...

Nevermind. I started to walk again. Raphtalia gave me a confused, concerned and sad look as I let my hand return to my side.

We continued through the forest, slaying the occasional Usapiru and Eggy. Raphtalia's nightmares were lessening now and the bags I first saw under her eyes were gone. Her bones finally started to have some meat on them. We reached the village I heard of.

We stood on the crest of a hill. One side of the town was flattened, but no structures stood on it. Most of the town was situated on the right. On the other side of the valley, another hill stood with what looked to be a mine in the side of it.

We walked down the hill and joined up with a path. We followed it into town. A few merchants stood in stalls on the side of the road, but the streets were mostly empty. I noticed a stall selling herbs and potions, so I approached it.

"Hey, you buying potions?" The man behind the counter nodded. I set out a few of the potions I had made. He picked one up and inspected it.

"Hm, good quality," he said. The liquid inside the bottle sloshed around. "I'll give ya 15 silvers for 5 of them." I nodded and slid five bottles to his side of the counter. He slid 20 coins back to me. The price isn't as good as the pharmacist, but I already came out here...

"Hey, why's the town so deserted? Barely any merchants and practically no villagers." I asked.

"This town used to be a mining town. The mine's been taken over by some monsters and no adventurer wants to waste their time here in this village." He complained. He waved his hands around angrily. He sat back down in his chair.

I walked over to another stall down the street. The owner had a pickaxe sitting against the counter and a few ores laid out. By his snoring, I assumed he was asleep. I kicked the pillar holding up an awning. The guy behind the counter made a snorting sound then a grunt.

"Huh? Whaddya want?" His voice was deep and rough.

"What's in the mine? I'm looking to make a quick buck." The man looked up from under his hat then shook his head.

"Don't waste yer time. The mine's been infested with these festering monsters. One bite and yer out. Lost Janken the other day cause the fool decided to go in." He lowered his hat over his face again. "Anythin' else, shield boy?"

"Mind if I borrow that pick of yours?" I said. He sighed and then picked it up.

"There's a spare in the shed. Come back with it. I'll be there in hell with you to make ya pay for it if ya don't. I warned ya." He pointed his thumb to a shed behind him. "If you do make it in there with your legs still on, the ore you're lookin' for is nice and blue. Kinda like a crystal thing." I nodded and signalled to Raphtalia that we were off. She came forwards.

I entered the shed he had pointed me to. A pickaxe, slightly rusted, sat against the wall. As I wandered over to it, I noticed a pile of rope sitting in a corner. I brought a piece up to my shield. It glowed in my hand, then disappeared.

「Shield Unlock!」

Rope Shield

+1S +2W

Ability Unlock: Air Strike Shield

Ability Unlock: Hook

I looked at the abilities in my menu. The first seemed to summon a shield in the air at my command. Effective range: 5 meters.

"Air Strike Shield!" I threw out my hand. Across the room, a translucent green shield appeared in the air. It stayed like that for a minute, then dissolved.

The other said it would cast out a grappling hook.

We ventured to the other side of the village. The mine had a few barrels rolled in front of it, so I cleared the way. We entered.

I lit the cave with a dim torch. Raphtalia clung to my side kind of... adorably.

After walking a few minutes, the cave opened into a large underground ravine. Lanterns hung around the cave. Ore sparkled from the ceiling like stars in the sky.

"Watch for any monsters," I said. Raphtalia nodded. I found a shiny outcrop of ore nearby the cave entrance. After a few knocks with the pickaxe, it fell from the wall. I picked it up in my hands.

「Wynd Ore」

A rare green ore useful in making wind-enchanted accessories

The ore was light and sparkling green. I stuffed it in a satchel. "They did say there were monsters around here," I said. I turned around. "I wonder where..."

I trailed off as I looked at Raphtalia. Her mouth was twisted in a silent scream and her eyes were dinner plates. I followed them to a double-headed Cerberus.

It jumped at us.

"Raphtalia!" I dived to her and rolled to the side with her in my arms. She screamed. The Cerberus chomped twice, once where Raphtalia used to stand, and again where we ended the roll. I ran in the opposite direction.

Wrong direction, though. The Cerberus trapped us on the edge of the ravine. Raphtalia was still shaking in my arms.

The Cerberus growled. I watched it closely. There were two options, die by Doggo, or die by fall damage. Not exactly the best of choices. This is like that one scene in that movie Hook...

Wait, the rope shield!

"Change Shield! Rope Shield!" The shield on my arm glowed. At the same time, the double-headed doggo launched its attack.

"Hold on!" I yelled. I tipped us back. My hand was centimeters away from the chomping teeth of the dog.

Raphtalia screamed as we fell. My shield finished transforming into a loop of rope around a gem metal piece. "Hook!" The rope unravelled and a grappling hook shot out. It stuck into the rock on the other side of the ravine. We slammed against the side of the ravine. I turned to protect Raphtalia from the force of the impact. The Constitution ability seems to have nulled most of the pain I feel.

Slowly, the rope began to retract and after a few minutes, we were near the top. I pushed Raphtalia up first, then pulled myself up. The hook reeled back into place with a click.

"Haah..." Raphtalia panted.

"You okay?" I asked. She didn't respond. I then saw a single tear drop from her face.

"Mommy... Daddy..." She started sobbing. I looked around for the dog monster. Gone. I took Raphtalia into my arms. She cried into my shoulder.

She must be thinking of her parents... did something like that kill them? I can see why she froze up...

We stayed like that for a minute, then a growling sound alerted me. I looked past Raphtalia to see the Cerberus in a position akin to a cat ready to pounce. I changed my shield to its basic shape. The creature stalked around for a minute then pounced.

I pushed Raphtalia to the side, letting me process her yelp for a moment. I barely raised my shield in time to block the first head from chomping on me. The second bit into my shoulder.

"Raphtalia! Stab it!" I yelled. She whimpered. She was looking between me and the Cerberus. Fuck, this hurts!

Thoughts: [Unreadable]

"I said to stab it!" The crest on Raphtalia's chest shined through her shirt. She yelped and scratched at it, curling up. Her knife clattered to the ground.

「Feat Completed!」

Dastardly Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

「Title Unlocked!」

Slave Abuser

+5S 2W. Karma Down!

「Achievement Unlock!」

Sadist

Use the slave crest more than 5 times.

Damn it! That Karma hasn't got much further to go. Fuck!

"You know what, forget it. Run out of the cave and fend off any monsters that come after you. I'll keep this monster busy. Go!"

I pushed back against the Cerberus. My shoes made scratching sounds at the ground. I glanced behind me.

Raphtalia's crest wasn't glowing anymore, but she was still curled up on the ground. Her knife laid beside her.

"No..." she said. She got up slowly and picked up her knife.

"Don't you leave me!"

She rushed forwards. Her knife sank into the underside of the Cerberus. It made an 'shhk' sound as she forced it down the length of the monster's belly. The Cerberus roared and threw me to the side. It then tried to bite at Raphtalia as she pulled her knife out.

"Air Strike Shield!" I threw my hand out and yelled. A green shield formed and the dog's head bounced off it. I ran over and blocked the second head from going around the shield.

Raphtalia moved to the left of the shield and made another cut down the length of its belly. She stabbed. A gush of greyish-red liquid covered her. The dog roared then fell to the side, it's insides spilling out.

Me and Raphtalia stood there for a moment, panting. I looked at her, and she looked at me. Our eyes met.

"Naofumi-sama!" Raphtalia jumped at me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

「Scene End!」

Aced it, my boy. +10S, +80AP

「Relationship Up!」

New Relationship:

Crushing on Master-chan!

Oh, you have to be kidding me...

Wait, is the Dating Sim talking to me?

「Yes.」

The fuck!?

On the day before the wave, me and Raphtalia gathered in front of the castle.

"It's hot..." Raphtalia complained.

"It is," I said. It kind of felt like an oven today. Summer, right? Ugh.

「I'm immune to temperature.」

Oh, fuck off, dating sim.

「I have a name.」

I don't care, you are an interface, you aren't speaking to me, I am not going insane. La, la, la.

「You can't ignore me, y'know.」

Shut up.

Thankfully, the dating sim did shut up. The nasal, high pitched voice made me want to slam my head into the rocks at my feet.

「That's mean.」

Grrrrgh...

I huffed and started walking up the steps to the castle. As I went up the steps, I contemplated the wrong, wrong decisions that led me here. I mean, harem? I can deal with that. A sentient dating app? I played DDLC, and even though it was fiction it still scared the crap outta me. Look how that turned out. Not today.

I entered the castle and followed a few signs to the dragon Hourglass. It was like any other hourglass, except floating, gold and surrounded by flashy stuff. The clicking sounds irked me.

When I looked at it, a timer in a (You guessed it!) pink window opened up. 20 hours, 43 minutes, and counting.

「And 2 seconds.」

I inwardly let out a groan. I swear, I need a saving roll for tuning out bullshit. Hopefully a 20.

"Ah, so the Shield Hero is here."

God damn it! Is this world out to crush my sanity!?

"What the hell do you want, Motoyasu?" I growled.

"Hey, you're talking to Motoyasu-sama!" I heard a shrill voice yell.

Fucking Bitch stealing my reputation, my gold my things my-

「You might suffer an aneurysm in your forehead.」

Raphtalia looked at me with concern. Probably from the bulging vein on my temple.

"Still wearing trash armour like that? Oh, I forgot. You can't fight, can you, Naofumi?"

「That vein could be burst with a pin.」

I stared in front of me. Control anger... don't let that Karma drop...

"Hey, answer when Motoyasu-sama talks to you!"

I turned around to face Bitch... wait is she grinding up against Motoyasu? No... I need a new name for her now.

Slut-san. There's a good one. I turned to face Slut-san and Motoyasu. He had some intricately designed plate armour and his spear in his hand. Slut-san had jewellery on her neck and a sword at her side. Tch.

"Hey. Who are you to talk to Naofumi-sama like that?" She moved between me and Team Anti-Me.

"Cute~"

Wait... Wait don't you-

Motoyasu darted forwards and took Raphtalia's hand. She yelped at the sudden contact.

"Hiya! I'm Motoyasu Kimura, 21, Single, and the Spear Hero! What your name, Gorgeous?"

It was at this moment a helpful tip appeared on my screen.

「Translation」

You may notice the local speech is like regular Japanese for you. That's because your legendary weapons translate this for you. However, know that not everything will translate over nicely.

Is that because of... oh.

"Wha-" Raphtalia turned three shades of red then slapped Motoyasu. Slut-san seemed disgusted at Motoyasu. Her mask slipped, I guess. What did "gorgeous" translate to?

"P-Pervert!"

I revelled in the knowledge that even Motoyasu's fangirls had reservations about him. Ohohoho, this is gonna be fun. Raphtalia drew her sword as Motoyasu stumbled back from the strength of her slap. That's what 30 strength points does.

"Wh-What?" Motoyasu held his cheek, shocked.

"Don't act innocent! You can't say such... risque things in public!"

"Huh!?" Motoyasu looked as confused as I was.

"What are you doing to Motoyasu-sama!?" Slut-san yelled. I laughed.

"Hey, when you molest a girl with your vocal chords, you microcephalic adipate, you'll get slapped."

I watched as everyone in the room had a question mark raised over their heads.

"It means small-brained, idiot." Motoyasu looked at me with surprise, then anger. He stormed over to me and reached for my collar. I ducked to the side and slammed him with my shield.

"Don't try me." I waved for Raphtalia. She sheathed her sword and followed me as a walked away from the hourglass.

"Hey! Don't think you can just do any-"

"Save your breath, Slut-san." She stumbled back, physically stunned by my words. I moved past her.

Itsuki, Ren, and their parties were watching from the doorway.

"Don't slow us down," Ren warned. Itsuki made a "un" of agreement.

"The same applies to you," I said. I stomped out of the castle and out of the street. Raphtalia followed me.

Thoughts: I hope he's okay...

Huh. I realized I hadn't lost any karma. That's-

「Feat Completed!」

Sinful Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

Damn it, I jinxed it.

「I mean, I think ya deserve it.」

And the interface is talking to me again. Grrrrr...

After taking a few more corners, we entered Uncle's shop.

"Hi, Shield boy. Hey, Girly. What can I do for ya?" He said. I opened my mouth to say something, but Raphtalia cut me off.

"We're here to buy Naofumi some new armour."

"Huh?" I said. "No, you need a new swo-"

Raphtalia pulled a sword off the wall and unsheathed it until the tip threatened to fall out.

"You'll get new armour Naofumi. Or you will die."

The sword glinted as she slid the sword back into the sheath.

「Achievement Unlock!」

Fiesty One

Have a Route threaten your life.

I seriously fear for my life if that's an achievement. What comes next? Cannibalistic Lolis?

「That sounds like foreshadowing.」

Shit, that's gonna happen now, isn't it? Damn it!

Raphtalia was raving to the guy at the counter about how sharp it was. I tuned out the conversation. For some reason, Raphtalia drew pleasure the same way every RPG player does. Driving stats up. Although, to be fair that is one of the only reasons I try in this world.

"And here's a piece of armour I think the lad would like." I glanced over. He held a piece of chainmail in his hand. A little text sat next to it.

「Snake's Mail」

Adds Ability: Snake's Charisma

Halves your Karma stat.

Nope, nope, nope. I already lowered it enough, thanks.

I shook my head. He put the chain mail down. "I have some plate armour in your budget but..."

Me, Raphtalia and Uncle had the same thought at the same time. Not my look.

"What else do you have for Naofumi-sama?" Raphtalia asked.

"Well, I could custom make something for the lad by tomorrow."

"Oh, really? That'd be great! Thank you, Erhardt!"

Wait, that's his name? When'd she learn that? Huh.

"Sure. Just keep it under a hundred silvers." I placed a bag of silvers for Raphtalia's new sword. HE nodded.

We exited the store and made our way into an inn.

On the day of the Wave, me and Raphtalia first went to Erhardt's shop. As soon as we entered, he smiled.

"Hey there, laddie. I think you'll like this."

He walked into the back room and came out with a green cape, a metal breastplate and leather underpadding. It was all stitched and strapped together.

「Barbarian's armor」

A piece of resilient armour that looks fitting for a bandit king.

+5S 2W

"Are you trying to make me look like a bandit lord?" I asked. He shook his head and shoved it towards me.

"Try it on, lad. See how it fits."

I changed inside one of his changing stalls. The armour fit over my shirt easily. I didn't have greaves to protect my legs, but the armour was good nonetheless. The looks and name could be improved though.

"Ah, It's perfect!" Raphtalia squealed. She had stars in her eyes and marvelled at the armour. I grimaced. The armour did make me look like a barbarian.

"It has good stats. I'll take it." The armour, at least I hoped, would protect me. That dog bite hurt like hell after we got out of the cave.

A chime made me look at the timer in the corner of my vision. Ten minutes.

"Alright, then. I'll be off. Here's your payment." I stuck a bag of coins on the counter.

Right before I closed the shop door, I poked my head back in and looked at the shopkeeper.

"Thanks, Erhardt."

He smiled at me and waved.

8 minutes. I walked up to the church building. Just a matter of waiting now.

"Naofumi-sama?" I turned to look at Raphtalia.

"Yes?"

"I just wanted you to know... I'll go where ever you will go. I am your sword, you're my shield. And... thanks. For keeping me."

I smiled at her words. Purity and innocence resonated with them. I was going to respond, but a ringing sound filled my ears. The timer hit 0:00, then vanished. I felt a floating sensation, then I was in a different place.

The wave had begun.

A/N: The wave begins. This series I realise works less well than Saint's. Cause this story's harem doesn't come into play till much later, so it's just gonna be Filo vs. Raphtalia shenanigans for the next few chapters.

Announcement time! This series will be going on a schedule. Nothing straining, (updating every other day for Twinning contributed to this delay) only one chapter biweekly. I go on summer vacation soon, so I hope to write a few chapters in advance over the summer to keep up a constant schedule over the next few months.

And like the last chapter, covering main points in the reviews.

[Don't worry about your word count!]

I know, I know. Bad habits die hard. Er… rather they grip onto your soul and pull you down with them until you finally kick their hands off. I'll try. Still, to make sure I'm covering enough per chapter, I'm setting a loose goal of between 3k and 5k per chapter. More than that, It'll be hard to find a good ending point to break it off, less than that, I won't cover enough to move fast enough with the story to get to my favorite parts.

{Malty! Malty! Malty!]

Yes, I have plans for Bitch-sa… I mean Slut-san. They are coming.

[I liked your chapter!]

Thanks! I appreciate the appreciation.

Alright then, tune back in two weeks from now for: Party Hard? Party Hard!