A/N: I do not own Merlin or make any money from this blah blah blah.
Thanks for the reviews and alerts and for reading. x
Chapter 3: 'Tempted'
"Oh my God," gushed Gwen, throwing herself into the seat besides Merlin in the wood panelled school cafeteria. "Have you seen the new English teacher?"
"I know," sighed Freya from Merlin's other side, scanning the room in the hope that the subject of the conversation might have materialised. "Totally hot. Have you seen him Merlin?"
Merlin grunted and stared at his half eaten jacket potato sullenly. It was Tuesday afternoon, first day of term and two days since Arthur had found out the truth about how old he was and dumped him.
He'd almost made it back to his Mum's flat when the thought of facing her and Uncle Gaius after what had happened turned his stomach to lead, so he'd phoned Will and they'd spent the afternoon playing Mario Kart and getting pissed in Will's bedroom. Will wasn't one for deep conversation unless prompted which suited Merlin down to the ground. Monday had been spent in a similar fashion; and now his thumbs were almost too sore to hold a pen.
"Merlin – are you even listening? Hot – new – teacher," pouted Freya, nudging Merlin in the arm.
"Hangover," he muttered as if that explained why he was being such an arse and avoiding looking at either of them he shoved his headphones in, grabbed his bag and slouched from the room. The last thing he needed right now was the girls swooning over Arthur like he was Brad fucking Pitt. He could see his friends watching him in confusion as he left the room; he just didn't think he could sit there and discuss the merits of Arthur's backside. His Arthur; not some random bloke off the street. "My Arthur," he grumbled to himself as he dug in his pocket for the key to his office. If there was one good thing about being landed with the head boy thing it was this office/cupboard that was exclusively for his use. He locked the door behind himself and slumped into the chair, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms.
He wasn't giving up this easily; Arthur just needed some time to calm down that was all, which was why Merlin hadn't gone to see him yesterday when it had actually been all he could think about as Mario whizzed round the race track and his brain slowly pickled itself in vodka. Merlin knew Arthur felt the same way about him; Arthur loved him. It would be alright. Arthur would forgive him; they'd find a way to be together. Merlin missed him and it seemed his magic did too.
Merlin had always known he had to keep his magic a secret; people wouldn't understand his Mum had told him as soon as he was old enough to make sense of it. It was the only sensible thing to do. When he was younger, he'd imagined he was Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight. He knew better now; he was Merlin Emrys and his life was totally fucked.
The last time Merlin lost control of his magic was in 1997; he was five years old and Valiant had pushed Will over in the playground and stamped on his brand new Tamagotchi. To this day nobody outside Merlin's family knew what had really happened to make all the windows overlooking the playground shatter; Grandpa had worked hard with Merlin to help him keep the power under control and Merlin was proud that he had been able to as sometimes, when he got upset or angry, it had been so hard not to let it escape. Twelve years of regimented control and then along comes Arthur Pendragon and before he knows it Merlin's cracking mirrors with his subconscious.
Normally the magic wasn't a big deal. OK, so it was unusual, not that many people had similar 'talents'. There were a few people with a little magic, but hardly any with a lot; like Merlin. He liked to have fun with it every now and again - who wouldn't? – but he'd scared himself on Sunday, overwhelmed himself with a gamut of emotion that he had not known he was capable of possessing. He should have felt it building, should have known it was trying to push its way out of him. It had to have been the rollercoaster ride he'd been on since meeting Arthur. He'd been so happy, being with him; never before had he felt so right. Arthur had turned on him so suddenly, burst the bubble, and Merlin had felt himself freefalling; his magic had broken loose to prevent him from crashing to the ground without a parachute.
Hopefully Arthur would write the mirror thing off to dodgy hotel decor and think nothing more of it. Merlin couldn't afford for him to find out before they were back together and think he was more of a freak than he already felt.
Merlin wasn't ready to accept any of the blame for what happened upon himself. He had gone to take Arthur his keys in good faith with a teeny hint of curiosity over the new English teacher / brother to the headmistress that Gaius had told him was arriving that day. When Arthur had opened that door; all golden blond hair and come to bed blue eyes... Merlin had to admit it sounded ridiculous, love at first sight was such a cliché, but he knew. It was like his magic called out to him, filling his veins with power and knowing...
How was it wrong to see something you wanted and to take it?
xxx
"Good afternoon. I'm Mr Pendragon, I'll be your English teacher until Mrs Brown comes back from maternity leave," Arthur wrote his name on the white board with black marker pen. "I'm at a slight disadvantage here as I don't know any of you, so if we'll just do a quick sweep of the room; I want to know your name and your favourite book, with a quick explanation as to why." He paused and wrote Wuthering Heights under his name. "This is my favourite book for many reasons, but not least because of this line 'I have to remind myself to breathe -almost to remind my heart to beat' which belongs to, for me, one of the saddest paragraphs ever written."
Arthur smiled his best fake smile at the ten students present. The Camelot Foundation was a private school with small class sizes, for which he had been grateful all day, until now. Although he had managed to avoid eye contact with Merlin so far, he had noted exactly where he had sat (second row), his posture (slouched), who he was sitting by (good looking dark haired male), what he was wearing (school uniform)... Oh God, school uniform... He should have quit when he had the chance. It was going to be harder than he had anticipated to stand up in front of this class for an hour three times a week. He could feel Merlin's gaze upon him, it burned like sunshine. Too much direct sunlight causes cancer. He shook his head slightly; his internal dialogue had been driving him bloody crazy these last two days. It seemed to mostly say 'Merlin, Merlin, Merlin' and Arthur had found that whisky increased the volume instead of fixing the problem.
"We'll start at the front," he managed, nodding towards a pretty brunette who was twirling a curl around a finger and looking at him adoringly. Arthur had found that half the student body seemed to looking at him the same way; he hoped it was a fascination with the new and that it would wear off fast. He shifted uncomfortably and offered her an expectant look.
"Freya...The Accidental Tourist because it's quirky and I like quirky." Arthur was impressed at the choice; not obvious and he liked that.
Arthur smiled and nodded at the girl sitting beside her.
"Gwen. Persuasion. It's just so romantic without needing any bump and, er, grind...er, not that I think bump and grind is..." she groaned and covered her face with her hands.
The brutish looking teen in the second aisle, not next to Merlin, sneered, "Come on Gwen, we all know you like a bit of -"
"That's enough!" Arthur said firmly. "Everyone must be allowed to speak uninterrupted. Thank you Gwen, Persuasion is one of my favourites too." He gave the now flushed girl an encouraging smile and turned to the brunette on the other side of the aisle.
"Nimueh. Am I allowed to say Harry Potter?"
"This is your choice Nimueh, you could pick the Yellow Pages if you had a good reason for it."
"Harry Potter then, Goblet of Fire because that's when it starts to get good and the guy that plays Cedric Diggory in the film is in Twilight," the blonde beside her sniggered and Nimueh shot her a glare. "Also because it's a classic story of good versus evil."
"Thank you Nimueh." He turned to the sniggering blonde and raised an eyebrow.
"Vivian," she purred huskily activating Arthur's inner eye roll. "My favourite book is 'To Sir With Love' because it's...hot."
Arthur cringed, his eyes flashing to Merlin's for the first time only to regret it when he found the kohl lined blue eyes fixed intently on him with a look of, well, want. He dragged his gaze away.
"Have you actually read it?" he asked, ignoring the flirtation entirely and focussing on the facts and not bothering to wait for an answer. "Because if you had read it you would know that it's not a love story."
Vivian shrugged and batted her lashes, "My bad."
Merlin was next. Arthur closed his eyes briefly before seeking out the blue eyes that had not left him since he walked in the classroom; undoubtedly nine other pairs of eyes had been on him that time as well, but he didn't care, he couldn't distinguish those. He could only feel Merlin's.
"Merlin. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. I like it because it's based on the premise that magic once existed, and I believe it did and still does." Arthur saw the challenge emanating from his lo...from Merlin. When they had been discussing their likes and dislikes, Merlin's favourite book had been 'The Turn of the Screw'. Now was not the time to pick up the gauntlet.
"Good Merlin, and your companion?" he looked at the dark haired boy beside Merlin and tried to think nice thoughts, ones that weren't jealous of his close proximity to... For fucks sake, stop it!
"Will. Billie Morgan by Joolz Denby. It's just so real, so sad." Arthur had not heard of the book, but he warmed to Will a little when he explained his reasons for liking the book.
Arthur moved on to the next student and was aware in his Merlin-vision that Will leaned in and whispered something in Merlin's ear causing him to laugh and he immediately tensed, overcome with a violent urge to tear Will away from him.
This had been a bad idea. Bad bad bad. Why the hell had he skipped out on telling Morgana the truth? He'd been going to, knowing she'd have no choice other than to accept it and let him go, she would have understood. Instead, when he'd opened his mouth and should have said, 'I got laid over the weekend and I just found out he's one of my students (please fire me)', he'd muttered some crap about suddenly finding his muse, losing the writer's block and wanting to go with it whilst he could but that he now realised he couldn't let her down and blah fucking blah. Then they had drunk coffee and chatted about Uther's latest trophy girlfriend; Arthur had been mentally banging his head against a sharp object and telling himself he was a fuckwit. A deluded, lovesick, ethically and morally challenged total and utter fuckwit.
Who knew what the other four students were called or liked to read because Arthur certainly hadn't paid attention to their answers. The rest of the lesson went by in a blur; a sort of out of body experience kind of a blur, like he wasn't quite present. He must have been doing something right, because he was setting homework, and answering questions – thankfully none from Merlin – and the bell rang; finally. The end of the day had arrived; he'd faced Merlin and survived. Why he was so worried about facing a seventeen year old he did not know...he had self control. So far so good. He could do this.
He began packing his things into his briefcase slowly, hoping the students would leave quickly, trying not to notice, being all nonchalant. He heard the door close and felt rather than saw that he was not alone in the room.
"What can I do for you Merlin?" Stay professional and it will be fine.
"You could look at me." Arthur raised his head and looked without meeting his eyes. He was leaning back against the classroom door, tousled hair, pink cheeks, those overlarge ears...Arthur flicked a glance at his eyes and saw hope before looking back down at the bag he had been making such a show of packing.
"We're not doing this." He tried not to think about how the school was an old building with thick walls and doors, and how easy it would be to push Merlin back into that door and fuck him into it. "I'm your teacher."
"Arthur -"
"No Merlin," Arthur cut in. "You knew who I was and you played me. I'm not ready to forgive you for that; not that it would make any difference. I'm – your – teacher." And I will burn in hell for the things I want to do to you right now.
The distance between the door and the desk really wasn't far enough; Merlin covered it in less time than it took Arthur to realise he'd even started to move. He was pressed up against him; Arthur took a step backwards and met the desk. He could feel Merlin's warm breath against his throat.
Mustering all the strength he could find Arthur shoved Merlin back. "No."
He sought out the handle of the briefcase, his hand shaking, unable to tear his eyes from Merlin and he almost gave in. Almost. "Go and find yourself someone your own age Merlin," he suggested as he moved around the desk, creating a barrier between them. "I know I'm going to." And he was out the door, trying not to run, his heart beating out of control; his burgeoning erection pressing uncomfortably against boxers.
What the fuck was he doing? He should have taken the get out of jail free card and left town while he still had the chance; the sooner he took his own advice and found someone else his own age the better.
The thought of being with anyone else made him feel sick...and the slightest suggestion of Merlin and another man made him want to commit murder. This was bad, bad, bad.
Arthur was going to go home and take a very cold shower and then take himself on a long bike ride; the more miles between him and Merlin the better.
xxx
Merlin knocked on the door of room 18, nervously shifting from left to right; he felt out of control and so did his power. Please answer. He sighed wearily when it became apparent no one was coming and headed to the car park to see if Arthur's bike was there; he'd rather know Arthur was out somewhere than hiding inside his room pretending not to be in. Sure enough, the bike had gone; which only led to a new paranoia wondering where Arthur was and who he was with.
Arthur had won this battle but Merlin wasn't giving up this easily. There was more than one way to skin a cat.*
xxx
*Not that Merlin will be hurting a cat in any way; he's a vegetarian!
A/N: I decided to make Merlin magic in the AU as in so many he's not and its part of what makes him Merlin.
I'm off on my hols on Saturday for a week (to the very town this is meant to be based in); I will be taking my laptop with me and writing there, however who knows if the dongle will work, so there may be no update until I get back. I will try to get another chapter up before I go, but busy busy busy.
Please review.