It's late. I've just gotten Adam to sleep after convincing him the monsters from last night's dream wouldn't come and eat him. This is the most difficult situation I've ever had to deal with...it's like raising a child but worse because he isn't one. I spent the entire day chasing him in the courtyard, terrified that he might get hurt, but even after wearing himself out he was laughing and telling me I need to smile more. All I could think of when he said that was,
How can I smile when you aren't there?
I know that sounds needy and pining but that's how I feel. I've never had many friends in my life because I've always been studying and practicing in the medical field. And since I wasn't paying attention to my social life I ended up with a pretty shitty circle of friends. They kept me from achieving my goal in the time I wanted and now that I've realized this and committed myself entirely to Adam's case they've left me. So the only true friend I had was my patient...until he became this child, this stranger...
A single tear falls from thinking about this and though no one is around I quickly wipe it away. Adam is still sleeping soundly...good. I don't like being in a public ward, especially with his night terrors. My superiors are paying me extra to stay at the hospital full time until they decide what to do with him, mainly to keep him calm after the nightmares. I don't really mind. I just wish he was himself. And as if thinking about it jinxed, Adam begins twitching and groaning in his sleep. I am unsure if I should wake him myself; sometimes his reaction is worse if I do. While I am debating this, he gasps and opens his eyes. He's already sweating and out of breath, even though the dream didn't take long.
"Adam," I say to him, touching his arm and making him jump and look at me, "Adam, what was it this time? Are you okay?" He furrows his brow, as if confused by my question. My other hand has moved to his sightly damp black hair, smoothing it back from his forehead. My god, he's shaking. It must have been a bad one.
"Tell me what happened," I encourage him gently, feeling ridiculously like a mother at this point.
"I-I was in the scary place again," he begins, his dark eyes far away, "The bad man was there...he was going to get me..." He closed his eyes tightly as he remembered. But suddenly he relaxed. "There was another man there this time. He protected me from the bad man." I stiffened. Does he remember Lawrence?
"What did this man look like, Adam?" I asked. Adam shook his head.
"I couldn't see him too good. He was big...like the bad man...and he had...blond hair..." I let my breath out slightly. He doesn't remember him perfectly but at least the memories are still there. This is good.
"Do you know him, Alexis?" I snap back to reality at the question.
"Know who?"
"The blond man." Oh shit. What do I say?
"Go back to sleep now, Adam. You're tired." He knows from this he shouldn't ask any more questions and curls up on his side to go to sleep again. Crisis averted. Now what?
.
.
I've reached my breaking point. I'm seeing him everywhere...not just in the hospital but at home too. I'm hallucinating his image around every bend, in every dark corner, leaning on every doorway. Sometimes he's terrified, looking like a lost child. Others he's back to his defiant, sarcastic little bastard self, eying me with a certain standoffishness I had only seen a façade of back in the bathroom. God, that was so long ago. It's not only the hallucinations either. The dreams are getting worse. I feel like I'm in fucking 'Nightmare on Elm Street' or something. I don't want to sleep anymore. Alison has given up on trying to help me.
"You're so easy to read, you know that, Larry? You're obsessed! Even Diana's starting to notice it!"
I'm so sick of hearing her yelling at me. I just want to go back to those nights in the hospital with him...Sure there were only two but they were the best two nights I've had in a long time. Just lying there, holding one another...nothing else mattered. It was our perfect, fucked up world.
So here I am yet again, alone in the elevator, staring at the number 4 on the panel. I've gone on like this for too long. I need to make a decision. Today.
.
.
I am still a little shaken from last night's progress. It seems with the little bits of information I have been giving him, Adam is remembering more about what happened to him. Though...I have never once mentioned anything about Lawrence. I don't know whether this breakthrough is really good or really bad. There is no middle ground anymore. I'll have to watch him even more closely than before.
I've given Adam an easy 24 piece puzzle to work on tonight. The reasons being A: it'll keep him busy and out of trouble, and B: so I can get my mind together for a few minutes and not have to worry about him. He's lying on his stomach, humming tunelessly as he tries to fit the wrong pieces into the spaces on the board. I'm sitting in my usual chair, reading a cheap romance novel I picked up last weekend. I've gotten about a third of the way into it, trying not to groan out loud at how cheesy it is, when Adam's cheerful humming has stopped short. I look up, instantly worried.
"Adam?" I caution, "Are you okay?" He's staring past me, towards the door to the ward. He has a surprised and slightly frightened expression on his thin face. "What is it?" I turn around to see what he's looking at...and drop my book to the floor in shock. Lawrence is standing near the door, staring back hesitantly. Adam sits up, never breaking his gaze from his forgotten friend.
"It's you," he whispers. Lawrence, deathly pale with worry, makes his way over to us, the right-sided limp causing me to wince. When he reaches us he smiles, rather half-heartedly, I must admit.
"Hi, Adam," he says. I can't breathe in this tension. I can't tell if Adam remembers him or not.
"You're..." my patient begins, his dark eyebrows scrunching together, "...that guy from my dream." A look of hopelessness passes over Lawrence's face and I don't blame him. But he's smart and uses the situation to his advantage.
"Really?" he says with forced interest, "You're going to have to tell me about it now." Adam gets indignant.
"Why should I? I'm not sposed to talk to strangers anyway!" He folds his arms tightly and glares at Lawrence who laughs.
"You brought it up," he tells him, "Come on, I want to know if I was the good guy or the bad guy." I have got to admit I'm relieved. It's incredibly lucky Lawrence has a kid with a similar maturity level as Adam currently has. He knows how to deal with it. Adam glances at me. I nod.
"You can talk to him, Adam," I encourage, "He's okay."
"Weeeell...I have scary dreams a lots and there's this bad man who's always trying to get me. You were in the last one and made the bad man go away." I think Lawrence's smile is genuine now.
"So I was the good guy? That's a relief."
"Hey, how do you know my name, anyways, mister?" That seemed to catch him off guard.
"Umm, well, uh..."
"I told it to him," I interrupt, making both men turn to me, "Lawrence here is a doctor. He works a few floors below this one, Adam." Adam's dark eyes get wide with interest.
"Really? So you get to see sick people and stuff all the time?" Lawrence nods, casting me a grateful glance.
"Yes, actually, I do."
"All the people here are just crazy. And old. I dunno what the grownups are thinking putting a normal kid like me in here." I get up from my chair and scoop up my book.
"I'll leave you two alone for a bit," I say, "I'm sure you'll have lots to talk about." Lawrence takes my seat and waves a hand at me.
"Go on home, Alexis. I promise not to let him out of my sight."
"Good 'cause I'd get in trouble if you did." And with that I leave for the night, glad that their friendship has been rekindled, even though Adam still doesn't remember who Lawrence is.
.
A/N: Sorry for the break and the rushed chapter. Things have been getting a little crazy in the real world. I got sudden inspiration tonight from playing this weird Shutter Island PC game I bought at Wal-Mart this afternoon. Lawl. Also from reading the book 'Hater' by David Moody. Excellent so far; I recommend it. So yeah, Lawrence is back and I've kicked Alexis out of the picture for the time being. She is HARD to write for even though she's my OC. I prefer being in the POV of the sarcastic badass that Adam is. It's more fun. Anyway. Reviews are love!