Ch 3:
Note: all characters belong to Trey and Matt and all alien and cow dialogue is translated from mooing
The coup shocked the other aliens and made them cower in fear. The Alien Captain said in a speech to the other aliens, while shouting "We will keep harvesting the meat of the planet's most intelligent species until there are none left. The two-legged creatures are not as sophisticated or intelligent, and there is no need to conquer them. When the last moo is heard, we will have won." The cows heard this and were horrified, but their efforts were futile as the aliens could shoot them from miles away.
Meanwhile, in the distance from the ranch, low pitched chanting was heard. The chant was "Crab People, Crab People, Crab People, Taste Like Crab, Talk Like People". The Crab People had heard about the cows at the ranch as they were posing as human informants. One Crab Person even humorously posed as a white woman with long blonde hair who was an obsessive Tegan and Sara fan who knew every song from all eight albums. She was even able to hum the melody of "Where Does the Good Go" almost perfectly. The Crab People wanted to save the cows because they themselves were in danger from the same aliens given they taste like crab.
The Crab King marched his army, who knew that cows and the Aliens spoke the same language, towards the ranch. He had a small herd of cows, who had Crab People Makeup, follow him around to attempt to speak to the Aliens. When the Crab King approached the ranch, after passing the site where Ellen Page had wrecked her car weeks earlier, the Crab King gave his soldiers a speech. He said "We Crab People are a proud race. We may have lived underground since the human Middle Ages, but it never broke our will. These Aliens plan to take over the world, and after they slaughter cows, we are next given that we have the unfortunate problem of tasting like crab. We can beat the Aliens by showing them what it means to be a crustacean."
The Crab King tried getting his cows to talk to the aliens, but the plan fell through quickly. The cows were too scared to and, despite their "Crab armor", were slaughtered easily, ending any chance at diplomacy. The Aliens were ready to fight the Crab People and the Crab King shouted "Charge!" The Crab People had spears, lances, poles, and of course, their own claws, as weapons. Despite outnumbering the Aliens by a 15:1 ratio, the Crab People lost horribly given their technology disadvantage. The battle was over in just fourteen minutes with the Crab King to be the last to die. The Alien Captain said with an evil stare "Nothing will stop our race from conquering the planet."
To Be Continued