Not Getting Married Today

by hummelssmythe

When Blaine asks Sam and Sebastian to help him with his proposal, he doesn't know he picked out the guys who are going to screw an apparently inevitable marriage. As feelings start to building up unexpectedly, all that Sam and Sebastian can do to avoid the heart-break is to ally and find a way to stop Kurt and Blaine from getting married.

3. Chapter 2

A/N: As you can see, this chapter is almost 20k long. There's a reason for it, but considering that I don't want to spoil anything, read the notes at the end of it for explanations!

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When Blaine is out of their sight, Kurt turns to Sebastian to find him staring.

And Sebastian can't really blame himself for doing so. It's not that Kurt is the hottest man on the planet all of a sudden, but he did grow up from what he can see. He's just a little taller, his shoulders are more solid, not to mention his arms and the rest of his torso. He looks more built-up in general and Sebastian can't help but wonder if he practiced to get like this – maybe college stuff or something, Sebastian isn't sure what he's attending now. He doesn't ask though. He wouldn't even show Kurt that he cares, because he's got a pride.

"So, you're going out with me tonight," he says instead, wearing a smirk, so that he can annoy Kurt. It works because Kurt rolls his eyes immediately.

"I am," he confirms obviously and then looks down at Sebastian again, crossing his arms to his chest (his good-looking arms), "But I'm doing that because Blaine cares and you … you asked kindly." He tries not to mention Sebastian's feelings, because hey, it still seems a little awkward to him that Sebastian might really be hurt for something, that he might have some feelings.

Sebastian's smirk widens though, his mouth revealing his enormous horse teeth to Kurt, "You are really like that, aren't you?"

"Like what?" Kurt says, suddenly blinking in confusion.

"Like Blaine said." Sebastian laughs quietly, with his hands in his pocket, still looking a little uncomfortable at being alone with Kurt. "Sometimes he would talk about you, and you are just as he said. Fun."

"Wouldn't it be fun is I kind of slapped you right now?" Kurt suggests, lifting his eyebrows and grinning sarcastically. "Though it's flattering to know that you and Blaine use to talk about me. I thought you were too busy flirting with him to even remember I existed." There's some venom in his voice, but he just can't keep it. He might be a little kinder towards Sebastian tonight, but it doesn't mean he'll take crap from him.

"We did," Sebastian laughs for a moment and when he looks into Kurt's eyes, Kurt knows from his face that nothing good is coming out of his mouth, "You top. I wouldn't have told, that's interesting."

Kurt startles and widens his eyes in shock as his face suddenly flushes, "W-what?" He stutters, hoping he got it wrong.

"You top," Sebastian says lightly, like he's talking about the weather or something, "I thought you didn't, because hello, nice ass, but now that I think about it, Blaine has got a-"

"Don't you dare finish the sentence," Kurt threatens while he looks at him in disbelief, "Why … why did you and Blaine even talk about that? That's … private stuff!" He shrieks and his cheeks are now on fire because he's sure he's never talked about the details of his sex life with anybody (not even Rachel).

"Just ordinary conversation," Sebastian shrugs easily, "Are we going? We can't stay out all night I guess. Though, wait, I wasn't expecting you to top either, so can you stay up all night? You might surprise me."

Kurt rolls his eyes and sighs, "Shut up. I'm still here because you sounded sad and I don't really feel like abandoning people, no matter how much of an asshole you are." He says and Sebastian seems to give up on the teasing for now.

"Okay, I'll play nice." He shrugs, "I've played nice since I promised to do so, but teasing you is fun no matter what."

"Is it just teasing?" Kurt lifts his eyebrow suspiciously, "Or are you maligning about me? Because that's what it always felt like."

Sebastian stays silent for a moment, a confused grimace on his face like he's trying to understand if Kurt's serious. Well, not that he wanted to be gentle when he made fun of him, but at the same time, the last words have come out weakly out Kurt's mouth and they make him feel sorry somehow. Ew, he's really becoming too much of a good guy.

"Well, it doesn't really matter what it felt like," He says eventually, trying to sound as flat as he can, "Let's not waste our night on the past, shall we?"

Kurt looks away disappointed because he thought this was going to be the moment when Sebastian would apologize for the past. That would have made his night easier. Not that a simple apology could erase everything that Sebastian did in the past but it would have made it okay for Kurt to loosen up a bit.

"Let's go then," he murmurs eventually, walking along the path to the street before Sebastian can add anything. He doesn't even look back at him; he would mind showing him his disappointment so much.

Sebastian coughs though so Kurt's forced to stop and look back at him with a questioning expression on his face.

"Hmm, Kurt, we really don't park our cars along the streets," he says, looking a little amused at having to share the information, "we have a garage."

"Of course." Kurt says and he steps back towards Sebastian while feeling even stupid for having thought he could just walk to the street. "That's just too ordinary for a snob like you. You couldn't just park your car where people usually do or … Wait, did you park it in a meerkat nest? And is your family all made of meerkat faces like you?"

Sebastian laughs and he nods towards the back of the house, "You can stop now, Kurt. I know meerkats are cute." He winks and Kurt has no idea why he's blushing.

He's fucking blushing because Sebastian is right, meerkats are cute but it's not like he thought about it when he said he had a meerkat face. So does this mean that he thinks Sebastian's face is cute too? Of course not.

He steps forward and starts following Sebastian as he walks along the lawn, feeling now awkward and not at ease with his own comment. They get on the back of the house and Kurt fucking hates this place because there's an amazing gazebo in the garden and it's the perfect place where he would have tea in the afternoon.

He can picture himself doing so, though he doesn't allow himself to think about it too much and he just follows Sebastian to the garage. He stares while Sebastian pulls out a remoter from his right pocket and presses a button to open the garage. Fucking technologic and probably expensive. It must be just normal for Sebastian though, because he doesn't turn to act arrogant towards Kurt or throw his wealth in his face.

"You get to choose," He says instead, leaning an arm in a kind gesture to invite Kurt to step into the garage.

Kurt looks into his eyes in disbelief and like he doesn't trust him. Sebastian pouts a little though – and oh god, his face is completely different when he does the meerkat puppy thing, shit, it shouldn't affect Kurt so much – and he decides to trust him for now. It's not like Sebastian is going to kill him in his garage when Blaine knows he was there. He isn't that stupid, in fact, Sebastian would be an awesome serial killer for how witty he seems to be.

When he steps inside, his jaw drops at the sight of sporty cars parked around the garage - that actually didn't look so big from the outside.

He can easily recognize a white Boxster Porsche, a red shining C-X75 Jaguar that just can't be real and then there's a shy and more modest black Ford Kuga which absolutely seems a cheap car if compared. He knows he's probably showing Sebastian too much of his surprise but hell, he could get married to him just to drive these cars. It would make it up for his unbelievable bitchiness.

"Like what you see?" Sebastian asks from behind him, sounding incredibly amused.

"I can't believe how rich you are." Kurt murmurs, wrapping his arms around himself, "How do you even pay for the insurance for these cars? It's not just the price-"

"Oh, Kurt, like you know about cars," Sebastian walks until he's beside him and when Kurt turns to him, he notices that Sebastian is staring proudly at the cars, "I can appreciate your effort though. You probably thought that talking cars is going to make you look more of a man."

"Stop it." Kurt leans and slaps his arm, so Sebastian turns to him in shock at the touch, with his eyes wide open, "You're offensive. I'm a boy. Stop making jokes about that, it's not funny."

Sebastian licks his lower lip for a moment and then winces, before he says, "I know you're a boy. I'm just joking." He rolls his eyes, "You make assumptions about me being a whore, don't you think that's offensive too?"

"Well, that's the truth." Kurt replies a little childishly. "You don't look very ashamed of your sex life, so I guess it's not that offensive to you."

Sebastian stays in silence at that. Ah oh, this is awkward.

His face is wrinkled in a confused grimace. The conflict on his face is evident, like the fact that he's trying to keep his expression flat, but he doesn't manage to do so easily. For a moment, it makes Kurt wonder. What if Sebastian actually feels offended at Kurt's little assumptions? What if Kurt is hurting him on a night when Sebastian has already shown him some sort of weakness?

When he realizes that maybe this isn't the best time in the world to be childish, he shifts a little closer to Sebastian and leans a hand towards him. His fingertips brush over Sebastian's covered arm and their eyes meet as he strokes him gently.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, quietly because he's still a little proud. "I didn't mean it, I …" He swallows for a moment but he's still looking into Sebastian's eyes. "I know we've never spent that much time together, but you somehow manage to pull out the worst side of me. I get defensive around you and somehow it makes me mean."

Sebastian's lips tilt into a smile, just barely, "You talk like we actually know each other."

Kurt smiles a little too at that and drops his hand when the touch becomes too weird. "We don't, but it's like we do." He says and Sebastian chokes a laugh at how silly that sounds. "No matter how much we've insulted each other, we've been honest at least. Isn't that positive?"

"Stupidly positive." Sebastian rolls his eyes. "Now let's just go, okay? I feel like if you say something like that again I'm going to puke over my cars."

"Oh, about that." Kurt smiles smugly. "I grew up in my dad's shop and my dad's a mechanic, so yeah, I kind of know stuff about cars." He watches as Sebastian's face shifts into pure surprise. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I know more than you do."

"That would be humiliating," Sebastian complains, "and plus, is your dad still a mechanic? I've heard about Congressman Burt Hummel, you know …"

"You're informed." Kurt answers and then they're walking inside slowly and being careful not to touch each other again. Doing it once felt already out of place for them. "Now we can have a fair rivalry, with your dad being a state's attorney." He is looking away from Sebastian now, occasionally gazing at the floor and the cars.

Sebastian has to admit that it's sort of easy to chat with Kurt. He wouldn't have said so.

"Yeah, that's only fair." He agrees, laughing and then leaning his lower back against the wood of his Jaguar. "What do you say, Kurt? What are we riding?" He asks, lifting an eyebrow, "Though you have to be careful. Being both sons of public figures, people could sell gossip on us."

"Nobody knows who we are." Kurt shrugs and turns to him, leaning his lower back against the hood of the Porsche, opposite to Sebastian, to look into his eyes. "But it would help if you had a normal car. It'd make us less visible, Clyde."

"So, let me get this straight." Sebastian says at the words, "You get offended whenever I call you a girl, but you wanna be Bonnie?"

"It'd be easier for us to run away discreetly if you had a normal car. Don't you own it?" Kurt asks, avoiding the question. Even if they're going out together tonight, it doesn't mean Kurt cares about what Sebastian thinks about him too much.

"We do." Sebastian nods, looking more serious. "My parents use it to hang around when they don't want to show off. So, that's what's left in the garage. Now, are you going to pick up one?"

Kurt sighs dramatically, but that's probably just because he doesn't want to show to Sebastian that there's a part of him that would just hop in enthusiasm at the idea of riding one of these cars. He won't do so though. He's too proud for that, even now when Sebastian has looked some kind of weak and Kurt awkwardly feels like protecting him – as he feels towards any human being who's been hurt.

"The Jaguar will be just fine." He says, as flatly as he can, nodding towards the car on which Sebastian is casually leant. He makes it all look so simple, sitting on a Jaguar, like it's just ordinary for him and well, this is making Kurt so jealous.

"Get in then." Sebastian answers and then he's moving away from the car.

Kurt wonders where they're heading to, if it's a gay bar again or something. He wonders if this is going to be fine, if he'll be annoyed and bored with Sebastian's attitude or if he is going to have fun surprisingly. He doesn't let himself think about it too much though. He just walks to reach for the passenger's seat of the Smythes' Jaguar. Driving it would be the most amazing thing in the world, but considering that this is Sebastian and he probably doesn't trust Kurt, riding it will be just fine.

From the moment Kurt sneaks in, there's an awkward silence between them.

He doesn't know if there's a reason to it but when he's done with his safety belt and he looks up to Sebastian, he notices that the boy looks a little thoughtful. He's turning the engine on easily, but there's some tension over his features. Well, there aren't too many lights on in this garage, so Kurt can't be sure. Maybe he's just imagining it all.

When they're out of the garage and down to the road, Sebastian turns on the stereo, letting some Red Hot Chili Peppers songs fill the car and Kurt is impressed. He'd thought Sebastian was the typical Robin Thicke kind of guy; he doesn't comment on how impressed he is out loud though. He's not sure he wants Sebastian to know. So they just stay in silence and Kurt tries hard not to hum to By the way. It's not one of his favorite songs, but it was popular when it came out so it is kind of stuck in his head.

"You can sing if you want to." Sebastian murmurs. His voice is soft and silent, but maybe the silence around them was even deeper, because Kurt startles anyway. "Seriously, it doesn't bother me."

Kurt opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He's surprised, a lot. Maybe all the insults they threw at each other made him think Sebastian was some sort of monster, because it shouldn't be that much of a surprise as it is. Sebastian is just being kind because this is his family's car and Kurt is his guest.

"I didn't … you know, I didn't want to sing." He lies, but Sebastian chokes a laugh as he drives quite calmly.

"You're a liar." He says, looking amused. "But you're a bad one. Blaine always told me you were such a bad liar."

"You did talk about me that much, right?" Kurt asks, frowning and looking out of the car window, while feeling a little uncomfortable. When he does though, for a moment he can see Sebastian's reflection looking towards him. He has no idea why it makes him blush, but it does. And it's strange to blush when Sebastian is around, when it comes to him.

Usually, Kurt's face would go on fire around Sebastian, but for anger only. Totally different from what he's feeling now. Maybe it's because he's worried that the things Blaine told Sebastian about him might somehow show his weakness to his biggest enemy. The thought is quite frightening considering that he hasn't forgotten that Sebastian is somehow his rival, even now.

"We did." Sebastian confirms and even if his voice sounds normal, like he's not going to make fun of him for this now, Kurt can't bring himself to look away from the window. But he needs to ask something. It's been on his mind during the last minutes.

"Sebastian?" He asks softly. If Sebastian won't hear it, then he's not going to ask it, easy as that.

"What?" Sebastian replies immediately thought and Kurt bites his lower lip, blushing further. It's not because he's shy around him, of course. It's because they're talking; not insulting at each other, just … talking.

"You said something earlier." Kurt says, never turning towards him. When Sebastian doesn't answer, Kurt continues. "You said that I'm just like Blaine told you I was. What were you talking about?"

"Not going to tell." Sebastian replies immediately and Kurt turns abruptly towards him, arching his eyebrows and wondering if he heard it correctly. Sebastian is gazing at the road as he drives. "Don't look at me like that, Kurt. I won't tell you anything that could alter your moods tonight. I wouldn't want you to become as unbearable as you are usually."

Kurt snorts but somehow he also agrees with him. As curious as he is, there's also a part of him that just wants to let go tonight. He wouldn't want to miss a chance to see a more human side of Sebastian Smythe for once, because that attracts his curiosity too. So he just sighs and looks forward to the street, staying silent. They're turning to enter the Interstate 270 when Kurt finally lets go and starts humming to Red Hot Chili Peppers. He's sure it's going to be much noisier when they get in Columbus.

The drive takes almost 25 minutes, and they don't speak anymore, which is starting to make Kurt feel uncomfortable again, while they're driving through Columbus now.

Sebastian is both relieved and nervous about it. He feels relieved because Blaine's plan included showing some weakness to Kurt and although it would only be fake, Sebastian doesn't know if he could act more than he did by asking Kurt to stay. That was already embarrassing enough. At the same time, he hates this silence. It's like the silence reminds him that they shouldn't even be sitting in the same car if it wasn't for the whole proposal thing.

Before he can actually think about what to do though, it seems like Kurt figured out that the tension is rising.

"If there's something bothering you," Kurt says, trying to make it sound as light as he can, "you know you can talk about it, right?" He asks, though he never looks at Sebastian. And Sebastian never looks at him. "I mean, I know maybe you just need to get distracted a little, but if … if you've never talked about it and maybe you need some advice from someone who would be objective and-"

"Stop talking." Sebastian laughs and Kurt turns towards him abruptly. "I mean, that's kind, but … huh," he tries to correct it and seem more serious, "but I really don't feel like talking, okay? Let's just go out and dance, it'll be fun."

Plus, Sebastian thinks, there's nothing to talk about actually. Sebastian is just fine, there's nothing wrong with his life or what he feels, like ever. He's the happiest boy in the world with just living easy with no worries at all.

"If you say so." Kurt says, but it doesn't sound bitter. Instead, he tries to joke and maybe that's because he wants to relent the tensions. "Are we going to dance? Last time we did you were standing too close to me already …"

"I wasn't." Sebastian answers immediately but then he laughs, looking at the road. "Okay, fine, you have a nice ass but you were wearing that long gay thing and I wanted to check on it."

Kurt smiles for a moment.

He thought he'd felt more uncomfortable about this, but the truth is that he's actually aware of how fine his ass looks, so that's not big news. What's flattering is that Sebastian is the one telling him. Maybe with this compliment, Kurt might think that Sebastian is starting to give up on their fight.

"Let's not talk about my ass, I know about it." He jokes back and then stares as Sebastian parks. "So, are you taking me to another gay bar?"

Sebastian looks very careful during the operation and Kurt is a little upset at how good-looking he appears when he's focused, eyes to the mirrors and tongue poking just slightly out of his lips. It's unfair that his ex-or-not-so-ex rival looks so attractive. If Blaine was a little weaker, Kurt is sure he wouldn't stand a chance against Sebastian. Especially considering that Blaine proved he can actually cheat when he feels abandoned and lonely.

The thought of it sends an immediate and violent stab to his chest, making Kurt wince uncomfortably with this pain, because part of him knows that he isn't over it yet. He has forgiven Blaine, of course, but forgiving doesn't mean forgetting and when the thought comes back to his mind, it's a lot more unbearable that it should after all these months. He looks away from Sebastian, taking a moment to erase the thought and breathe in.

"A gay bar is the best choice." Sebastian is saying though and he's probably too busy with parking beside the sidewalk to realize that Kurt is momentarily feeling hurt and sad. "I mean, I'd take you to a disco, but considering the experience you have, you'd end up behind ravished in a bathroom as soon as I don't have my eye on you."

"That's obscene!" Kurt turns to him and Sebastian does the same because his voice suddenly sounds high-pitched. "How can you even go to places like that? It's horrible, it's … it's … how can you joke about that so easily?"

Sebastian's eyes are wide open now and he frowns a moment later, looking more serious that Kurt has even seen him as they make eye contact in some awkward way.

"Have you ever been harassed, Kurt?" He asks in one blow and Kurt feels the blood in his system pump harshly to his head.

"Yes, by you." He says uncomfortably and nervously.

"That's not what I meant." Sebastian says, looking so sincerely interested that it's almost creepy. "What I meant is … have you ever been sexually harassed, Kurt?" He asks, softly, like he's afraid to say it out loud.

Kurt shakes his head immediately. He wouldn't call it so. The kiss with Karofsky or what happened that night after Scandals with Blaine. Maybe the definition is too much, maybe not, he can't be sure, but he doesn't feel like saying he's been harassed now, especially when it's Sebastian he's talking to.

"Why are you even asking?" He says instead, so that maybe he can avoid speaking his unsure answer out loud. "It's not like it's your business. We're hanging out for one night. That doesn't mean we're friends in any way."

"Of course not." Sebastian murmurs a little coldly. "But you practically attacked me while I was just joking."

Kurt winces.

There's a part of him that rationally knows that maybe he freaked out on a joke for nothing, but at the same time he also doesn't want to give up, and maybe his prejudice made him think Sebastian didn't care about such a serious thing, so he should even apologize. Maybe he's going to do just that.

"I'm sorry," he says, looking back at Sebastian like he means it, "I didn't want to freak out, but seriously, I've never been sexually assaulted, nothing to worry about."

He must sound quite convincing because Sebastian just nods and he finally turns off the car. For a moment, just for a second, he looks like he wants to keep talking about it and this makes Kurt wonder if there's a more human side of him that is actually worried about him. Eventually, he gives up and decides to change the topic.

"Let's just dance and have fun." He says, hating the way he feels suddenly protective over Kurt. "You have to distract me, remember? I'm in a bad mood." He adds, hoping that it sounds as believable as it was before.

Kurt's lips arch into a soft smile and that is how Sebastian knows that he made it. Just like Blaine said, Kurt is willing to help anybody who is in trouble. He secretly admires this about him, but he won't say it out loud. Maybe he seriously needs someone who looks after him, and he should take tonight as just an experiment.

"Fine, let's go." Kurt says eventually, smiling hugely now that he's more relaxed, but keeping his guards up, because he's still in a car with Sebastian Smythe, "But no Shirley Temples tonight. I'm a grown up man who officially had his first kiki in New York City."

"What's a kiki?" Sebastian asks frowning and Kurt can't really keep from singing.

"A kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves," He hums just for a moment before he's laughing at himself, enchanted at the cute way Sebastian looks confused. Cute and Sebastian are two words that he can barely put together in the same sentence but he tries not to think about it.

"Okay, get out of this car, you're scaring me." Sebastian says, and Kurt laughs just once more before he opens the car door.

They both walk along the sideway and Kurt can't help but laugh whenever Sebastian turns a little to him like he's thinking back about the song Kurt was singing and trying to understand what a kiki is. Kurt lets him walk until Sebastian surpasses him because he has no idea where they're heading. He's not sure he'll feel as comfortable with dancing as he has felt with talking a few moments ago. Sebastian would totally make fun of the way Kurt swings his hands. But at the same time, he's also a little curious to find out about this new world.

He's never been the kind of guy that goes out late at night to dance with a half-stranger, so there's a little thrill along his body that makes him anxious to try all of this.

They walk along the street until Sebastian stops in front of what seems to be a small side alley. He nods towards that direction but Kurt stands still, looking a little unsure. It doesn't seem all that safe.

Sebastian rolls his eyes because of course Kurt has to do this. There's no way he can just trust him and see where they're going before he starts judging. Kurt must sense his annoyance because he sighs and he just follows Sebastian in the tight dark place. From the outside of the building, Kurt can already hear the drums and the basses sounding loud. His heart follows the beats and it's like the music is being pumped directly into his veins. He finds it exciting of course. Maybe he could loosen up for one night.

There's a big bouncer outside the small front door and Kurt isn't sure he's going to let them in; though, as soon as he sees Sebastian, his face lights up, which makes Kurt understand that maybe Sebastian isn't new to this place.

"Come in," the man says, stepping aside for a moment and ignoring the short line of people in front of him to let them pass.

Kurt tries not to notice the bitch glares the guys and the girls waiting are giving to him. He points his gaze on Sebastian's shoulders instead as they enter the club. The lights are obviously down, just some different shades of blue filling the room and some occasional flashes making his head spin a little, even if he is sober. It's just the chaos that confuses him.

Sebastian seems more at ease instead and Kurt can't say he is surprised. This must be his kind of place. After a few moments though, Sebastian stops his walking, like he remembered that Kurt is with him too, and he turns to him.

Kurt startles when Sebastian leans closer but then he understands that he's doing that just so that Kurt can hear him over the music.

"Do you feel like drinking?" Sebastian asks loudly, but Kurt is sure no one around them can hear, especially not the crowd dancing on the floor a few steps away. "Considering Blaine's long stories about you guys, I'm sure that a Shirley Temple isn't your kind of drink anymore. Especially with the extra cherries joke."

Kurt doesn't laugh at the joke. He hated that back then and maybe he still hates it now. But then, there's a part of him that should be thankful to Sebastian because, if he thinks about it now, Shirley Temple has been his order for long, ever since he moved to New York. He has tried more, as he's stated before, but he still loves it.

"Shirley Temple will be just fine." He replies yelling and trying not to pay any attention to the way Sebastian's body is arching towards his own so that he can reach his ear.

"Don't need to play the innocent blushing boy with me, Kurt." Sebastian laughs, sounding hoarse and seducing in Kurt's ear (that's probably Sebastian's gay bar attitude in general, like something changes within him whenever he enters such a place). "Blaine told me about you."

"Oh shut up." Kurt laughs and he presses his hands onto Sebastian's chest until Sebastian is scooting backwards and standing again, trailing back from Kurt's body – which makes him feel more comfortable. "No more jokes about what Blaine told you. I just don't care!" He lies, though he can feels his cheeks flush a little.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Sebastian pokes his tongue out and it's new for Kurt to feel like this. To feel just free and funny with this boy; who would have told that he could be playful and light like this. He can now understand why Blaine was friends with him (not that it justifies all the flirty dates they probably had behind is back, but he can see now that there's something good in being friends with Sebastian).

Before he can add anything, Sebastian nods towards the counter and Kurt follows immediately, as strange as it sounds.

He walks beside him, staring at the way Sebastian seems to be completely at ease with the crowd surrounding him tightly and in a chaotic way. Kurt stumbles a little instead, not too used to being in such a fuss. Sebastian though looks like he's showing Kurt one of his less intimate houses; indeed, he even smiles knowingly at the barman, which makes him wince in disdain because from the smirk the boy gives back, Kurt is pretty sure than Sebastian and he had it going.

Kurt doesn't know why it bothers him so much. Maybe it's just the idea of going out with such a promiscuous guy that feels awkward. It surely has nothing to do with Sebastian and his sex life. In fact, why should Kurt care about it?

Sebastian turns to him for a moment, nodding like he's waiting for Kurt to give his order still. Kurt shrugs and shakes his head, stepping towards him so that Sebastian can hear him screaming, "Shirley Temple will be just fine in case!"

Sebastian pouts a little. Again. Looking fantastic as he does so.

"No, you can't have that." He says, comically pleading. "I won't let you drink Shirley Temple while going out with me ever again. You're a grown man now, you said it yourself."

Kurt tries not to let himself ponder too much about whether it's sad or not that Sebastian values the maturity of a boy from the fact that he isn't a virgin anymore, and instead, he grins awkwardly.

"I'm going to go with whatever you're buying me as soon as you're buying it." He says smugly and well, the fact that Sebastian smirks, that Sebastian likes the challenge in his tone, is different from anything else. Kurt is pretty sure he's never been so puzzling with anybody else before.

Besides, Sebastian just shrugs and the smirk on his face doesn't make him look a little more trustable. Instead, Kurt shakes his head and hurries to add, "No, okay, just buy me a beer. I don't trust whatever you might choose."

Sebastian wrinkles his face, a little offended, but then he just does what Kurt said. While he tells their orders to the barman (whom Kurt doesn't want to look at, especially knowing that there's a fair chance that Sebastian and he shared a bed – or the backroom – because the awareness makes him feel uncomfortable), Kurt gazes around curiously.

It's worse than Scandals. In fact, he remembers that the first time he walked into Scandals, he didn't find it that bad; but this is totally bad and people do grind against each other, like very closely. Kurt has no idea if this is the exact place he is supposed to go after Blaine and he got together again, but he also knows that there's no way Blaine wouldn't realize this is Sebastian's idea of night out. He is naïve but not that much, and Kurt thinks Blaine knows Sebastian a lot more than he let him see, so there's no way he wouldn't know where Sebastian and Kurt were heading tonight.

When he turns back to Sebastian, he's already handing him a beer, looking curiously like he's trying to read into Kurt's head and what he'd been thinking.

"Thanks, huh," Kurt says, leaning his hand to take the bottle from Sebastian's long fingers (which are somehow charming, totally piano fingers) before he's wincing as he looks at the beer that is in his hand now, "Hmm, don't I get a glass or something?" He asks, gazing up at Sebastian whose expression turns into surprise in a moment.

"You act like a princess." Sebastian says, shaking his head but then his face melts into a grin. "This is so like you, but no, you don't get to have a glass. I'm going to steal your beer-bottle-drinking virginity." He says and Kurt can't help the way his cheeks are blushing.

He knows there's no connection with intimacy, but thinking about Sebastian, Kurt and virginity in the same context is kind of gauche. Sebastian must sense some of his tension because he laughs and looks away for a moment, his gaze lost in the crowd. Kurt feels like he's nervous too now, but he has no idea why is that.

"Just drink, would you?" Sebastian asks, keeping his eyes on the dancefloor as he speaks.

Kurt winces a little, but he's enjoying this somehow.

"So you can have me drunk and easy? It won't work, Smythe." He answers, lifting his eyebrows and then Sebastian turns to him.

"Oh, please, like I could ever want to get into your pants," he says, looking more at ease, and then Kurt smiles.

"So what's all this fuss about me drinking?" He asks and he jolts a little when Sebastian moves in quickly, getting closer to whisper the next words directly into Kurt's ear, his breath warming Kurt's skin.

"Just do, so you can dance with me."

/

The whole drive from Westerville to Lima is quite comfortable. Indeed, if there's something Blaine loves about his new Ford is that it allows him to drive for hours without getting too tired or his back aching. Not to mention if it's not even a two hours trip.

Mostly, what hasn't allowed Blaine to feel completely relaxed as he drove to Ryder's place is the concern of seeing Sam. It wouldn't usually upset him. Sam is his best friend, they're bros, so usually he's just spontaneously happy to spend some time with him; but tonight is different somehow.

The fact that he felt that wave of enthusiasm washing over him made him doubt. There's no actual reason for which he should be happy about going away and leaving his boyfriend alone with such a jerk as Sebastian (because, let's face it, even if Sebastian is his friend, Blaine is smart enough to know that he could never trust him completely), so he knows that his happiness was due to the fact that he's driving to meet Sam. So how is he supposed to feel about this when he's going to ask Kurt to marry him just tomorrow?

He knows what he feels towards Sam is just a crush, nothing more than a silly veer. But then he wonders, as he changes the gearshift, now driving through Lima, about his previous crushes.

If Jeremiah is supposed to be so, and Blaine thinks he is, then it's completely different somehow. They had some coffees, went out together before Blaine went so crazy to serenade him in GAP. If he didn't want to just be honest now, he could justify the difference to himself by reminding that Sam is his best friend, it could never be the same thing it was for a guy he barely knew. Since he just wants to be sober enough to give a good reason to what he's been feeling though, Blaine must also consider that he started drooling over Sam before they became so close. In fact, there's a part of him that is pretty sure that he wanted to grow closer to Sam because he subconsciously liked him already. So whatever this Sam/Jeremiah comparison started as, it's not going to make it better for him and it won't help him figure out anything that can't be dangerous to Kurt and his relationship.

He tries to think about Sebastian himself then. It's not like he's ever had a crush on Sebastian, but now that it's just an old story, Blaine might want to admit that he was flattered with Sebastian's flirting attitude towards him. Did he think Sebastian was hot? Of course he did, and he still does know. The difference – he sighs to himself while he gets into the avenue where Ryder lives – is that no matter how hot and allusive Sebastian was, Blaine never actually fantasized or dirty-dreamed about him in any way. That is what makes his finding Sebastian hot different from his finding Sam hot instead.

He wouldn't say it out loud. He's never told anyone but Tina, but he had dreams about Sam.

There had been days when Blaine woke up from dreams that seemed so damn real that it was hard for him to go to school and look straight into Sam's eyes, joke with him like nothing happened. Of course, being so friendly with masturbation, one would have thought that Blaine took care of the problem before he got out of his bed. But the truth is that he never did when it came Sam, not once.

He isn't sure why that is.

Actually, considering how enormous the crush he had on Sam (He has on Sam, might be more correct) is, Blaine finds it actually weird that he's never touched himself and just fantasized; but everytime he thinks about how hot Sam is, he also thinks that he is his best friend. Would it still feel the same after he'd done such a thing? Could they still be friends with no embarrassment? He can't be sure, but the only thing he feels certain about instead is that he wants so bad to keep this amazing friendship.

When he parks his car, Blaine isn't feeling surer about anything else.

Although he has been pondering for almost half of the drive, his head is still a mess and the worst thing is that he's becoming aware of how much of a mess his feelings are even. He loves Kurt. He's loved Kurt since forever, even when they were just friends. He's never going to doubt this, no matter what.

And still. When he went buying the ring for Kurt and Sam joked about how much Blaine wanted to do him … okay, it was just a joke, but still.

The fact itself that he didn't manage to deny it when Sam insisted should mean something. Damn, it was the moment he was buying the ring for the love of his life. Even though he won't confess it, he kind of liked that Sam made some sexual references to them someway, and this makes him feel guilty towards Kurt.

If on one hand he knows he shouldn't feel guilty for such a silly thing (his crush on Sam developed when Kurt and he weren't even dating), on the other hand he's afraid that if he cheated once, it could happen again. Rationally, it can't, because it should be two of them being attracted to each other to make it real, and Sam is not attracted to him any way.

This is the only certainty Blaine is left with: the fact that Sam doesn't like him that way.

That makes him wonder if this is also the only reason why nothing has happened yet. When the thought makes Blaine uncomfortable enough to make him understand that he can't just stay here, not anymore, sitting alone in the dark and filling himself with doubts like it wasn't hard enough already, he gets out of the car, engine already turned off and handbrake up.

He walks a fast pace to Ryder's front door, knocking silently on its wood after a few seconds of just breathing and thinking. The door gets opened quite quickly and Ryder pops his head out to peak.

"Hey Blaine," He says, his body still hidden from the door, "I wanted to make sure it's just you. Mom and dad had to go to my grannie for an emergency and we're alone."

"Yeah, you probably hoped it was a beautiful girl, instead." Blaine jokes and he greets him with a smile while Ryder opens the door and gestures him to come in.

Ryder doesn't answer the joke, but he laughs and walks in while Blaine closes the door behind his back, already unbuttoning his coat. They step along the hallway, walking to the kitchen where the lights are up. Blaine knows that Sam is here, knows it from the call. What he doesn't know and understand is the way his heart is beating faster as they get closer to the room; that is totally something that isn't supposed to happen, but maybe he's just being conditioned by all his previous thoughts.

Everything he had been rationally thinking off until now gets shattered into pure emotion as soon as they walk into the kitchen.

He swallows at the adorable sight of Sam sitting at the table with Ryder's little sister, Millie, holding the spoon between his fingers and hanging it to the little kid's mouth. There's a gorgeous smile on Sam's face and Millie looks happy to be spending her time with him. Blaine can't blame her. He knows how good spending time with Sam is. No one has done it more than him lately, not even Brittany when they were dating, before she left to go to MIT.

"Hi there, Blaine," Sam says, pulling him out of his thoughts, grinning hugely, "Where have you been, dude? It's late-"

"I had to drive Kurt to Westerville," Blaine pulls his jacket off, laying it on the back of a chair around the table, "You know, to make it believable. He would have never gone there alone if he knew he had to go out with Sebastian. I'm considering that Sebastian might be dead by the end of the night."

"I don't think so," Sam says while he helps Millie taking a bite.

Blaine hasn't got any time to ask what Sam means because Ryder is talking to him, therefore Blaine gazes at the other boy.

"Can we trust this guy?" He pulls a chair to sit down opposite to Sam and Millie. "I haven't known Kurt for long and I've seen him on a few occasions, but he seems like a nice guy to me. And although all the good guy policy and positive attitude, I wouldn't say the same of that Warbler-"

"Kurt's going to be fine." Blaine cuts him – considering he's had his own doubts already, the last thing he needs is for someone to make it worse. "But he's not going to be fine if my proposal suck, which is why we shouldn't be thinking about this."

The point seems valid, or at least valid enough to distract Ryder. Sam looks a little conflicted and Blaine knows that it is because Kurt and he used to be friends before Kurt graduated, so he can't let it slide as easily as Ryder did. Eventually though, he seems to realize that the topic is more important, considering that it is the reason why they're meeting in the first place.

"Okay, dude, where should we start from?" He pats Millie's hair. "I'm not even sure if I should come out, if we should come out," he gestures at Ryder and him.

"What do you mean?" Blaine frowns.

"Dude, listen to me," Sam starts explaining then, while Millie looks curiously between them, trying to understand what they're talking about, "I love you and I know you're doing this because you wanted it to be perfect, but … wouldn't it be perfect with the two of you already? Maybe Ryder would feel uncomfortable with being there, he barely knows Kurt."

Blaine rolls his eyes a little and looks at Ryder, "Would you?"

Ryder winces a little, his eyes looking sorry.

"Well, not totally uncomfortable, but not even completely at ease." He answers, lifting his shoulders a little. "I mean, the romantic song and the choreography are amazing, I love the idea, but … I would probably feel like I'm stepping in the middle of something intimate and personal."

Blaine can almost feel himself panicking again.

"Can I come to the wedding?" Millie asks suddenly, giving them all wonderful puppy eyes. "I love weddings!"

"See?" Sam lifts his eyebrows to Blaine, "Anybody would be there, like, Vocal Adrenaline don't even know Kurt."

Blaine bites his lower lip, looking unsure for a moment; and then he tries to remind himself of all the reasons why he is doing this. Kurt wasn't even sure about staying together, so he can't just propose, he needs something huge, something that would leave him so surprised that there's no chance he might say no. That is the reason why he doesn't want it to be just simple, doesn't want to just say to Kurt how he feels towards him.

"They're just dancers." He looks at Sam. "I thought you were with me on this, what's going on? What changed?"

This is the moment.

When Sam's face drops a little, his features turning softer and his face looking a little weaker, like he's exposed at the question; that is when Blaine's heart starts hammering again. It took him so much to stop it before, when he entered the room, and now it's all in vain because Sam looks conflicted. This is just all in his mind, right? There's no chance that Sam might not want him to get married to Kurt because he has feelings for Blaine. It's just Blaine's head that is making this up.

It's not like it is the first time that it happens. Blaine has doubted before, he has even asked Sam if he had feelings for him, but right now with the anxiety of the proposal coming tomorrow, it might be too much to handle.

"Is this going to take long?" Ryder interrupts the silent energy exchange. "I mean, the planning thing. I've got to bring Millie to bed and then maybe you could spend the night here, Blaine. We've got a guest room."

"Isn't that where Sam sleeps?" Blaine panics, all of a sudden, a little conflicted about the way his voice sounds: nervous, hesitating, scared.

"Well, you're bros, it's not like you can't sleep together." Ryder shrugs, walking around the table to take Millie in his arms. "Don't even ask about the clothes, you can have mine. I'm putting the timer to Millie's cartoons and then we can work on everything."

Grabbed his little sister, Ryder carries her upstairs and this is when Sam and Blaine are left alone in the room. There's a sudden and awkward silence building up between them and it feels unbearable because Blaine isn't used to it: Sam and he haven't been embarrassed around each other since Blaine implied Sam was for sale. And well, they weren't even friends back then and it's been more than one year. He can't stand the little cold tension rising up. He wants it to be gone already.

"Look, I-"

"Dude, I'm sorry-"

They get cut by one another at the same time and they both look down.

Damn. Blaine can't stand this. He can't stand the idea that he is supposed to plan on his wedding with his best friend who is acting strange with him now that Blaine needs him the most to just be himself. He knows Sam wouldn't do it on purpose. He isn't childish, so there must be something bothering him that makes him act like this.

Eventually, Sam looks up and speaks again.

"Dude, I'm sorry." He says honestly and when Blaine looks up too, he can see it in his eyes that he is sincere. "I didn't mean to freak out right now. I mean, this is the worst moment to freak out I guess. I think I'm just as nervous as you about the proposal." This sounds just a little less honest already. "Being your friend, I want it to be as perfect as it should, and I'm just worried because we have so little time …"

"It's going to be perfect." Blaine feels the need to reassure him and he walks hesitant steps around the table. "I'm sure it will be amazing."

He gathers a little courage and leans his hand until he manages to take Sam's into his own, brushing the back with his thumb and smiling tentatively. He has no idea whether this is or not what is going through Sam's mind, but he doesn't even want him to feel uncomfortable.

Sam looks a little relieved at the touch, but it lasts for a brief moment.

All of a sudden his eyebrows are arched again and he's pulling his hand away and standing up, making Blaine stiffen a little at the unexpected gesture.

"We should work things up." He says, not quite meeting Blaine's gaze again and licking his lower lip.

"O-okay?" Blaine murmurs and watches while Sam walks around the table, almost as if he wants to put some distance between them.

Blaine hates every sort of distance between them, especially considering that over the last year they got along all the time. He isn't used to distance. But he doesn't say anything.

The reason why he doesn't say anything is mostly that there is a wicked side of him that hopes that this attitude is due to Sam being jealous and not wanting him to get married. This isn't how it's supposed to be.

If Blaine is going to ask Kurt to marry him in less than twenty-four hours, there is no way he should want his best friend to be jealous or change his mind about the whole supporting each other thing. He breathes in as he stands, wondering if it has to do with his occasional need for attentions.

If he tries hard enough, he might be able to convince himself that he just desperately wants Sam to crush on him. He likes having attentions, so what would be better than a boy he used to have a crush on being now jealous about his future husband?

Well, that would work if it wasn't for two details.

First of all, Blaine didn't use to have a crush on Sam. From the way he is feeling, he's pretty sure that he still has on crush on him, no matter what. All he has to do to get it is to think about earlier, when he grinned like an idiot just because he got a text from him, even though he was leaving his boyfriend in the hands of the one and only Sebastian Smythe.

Second, he doesn't want Sam to be just jealous. That would be so mean to just want Sam to crush on him now so that he can regret not doing it before. Blaine would never want to hurt Sam in any way. He loves Sam so, so much. He was the one who kept him from going back to Dalton, the only one who actually managed to convince him and Blaine is so thankful because this year turned out to be amazing until now.

The fact is that he doesn't even manage to say anything because Ryder is already walking back into the room and it sucks. Not because he thinks Ryder is a third wheel or something, but because he can't stand the idea of having some awkward negative tension with Sam.

"So, where do we start from?" Ryder says, putting his hands on the table and smiling hugely.

Blaine doesn't feel like planning on his wedding, not when he's not in the mood to smile even. But still, he can't really actually say it out loud, so he just forces himself to do so. All he needs is to survive the day and tomorrow is going to be amazing.

They're half and an hour through it when Ryder hands two beers to them. At first, Sam seems to be more reluctant than Blaine is, because as responsible as he wants to be, Blaine is still unable to say no to a beer. He has no idea why Sam wouldn't want to drink it though. He's capable of handling alcohol a lot better than him. But then, thinking back of the weird mood Sam has been in tonight, he can see it, can understand why he wouldn't want to drink. Eventually, , Sam gives up, and that's probably because anybody would need a beer after half and an hour of Beatles songs and silly romantic choreographies.

Apparently though, alcohol makes Ryder sleepy.

He's just drunk one beer when he practically collapses onto the floor. Despite the tension between them, Sam and Blaine can't hold a laugh at the way Ryder's cheek is pressed on the carpet and he is practically drooling in his sleep. Blaine pulls out his phone and snaps a picture because that could be awesome blackmail material. A few minutes of jokes later, they finally start to show some compassion and just lift Ryder from the floor until they're carrying him on their shoulders and to the bedroom upstairs. They put him into bed and Ryder just groans in his sleep at the motion but doesn't seem aware of what is happening.

Before they leave the room, they snap another picture of him in his sleep and then sneak out, closing the door behind his back and walking a silent pace downstairs.

By the time they reach for the kitchen, Blaine is feeling way too light from beer and jealous from having to stare at Ryder comfortably sleeping in his bed to mind the details of his proposal. If he would have been completely sober, he'd probably still be concerned about every single movement of the choreography or word of the song, but having loosened up a bit with that beer he's drunk down completely, he has put the paranoia aside for a moment. Everything is perfect as it is, and he couldn't have planned it better. There's no way Kurt might say no to him and then, they're going to be linked forever, officially.

"I guess we're done here," He says then, an instinctive little smile popping up on his face. Sam turns around and stares at him curiously from the other side of the table. He looks away for a moment, staring at the clock on the wall behind Blaine.

"I thought you were going to keep me awake until 5 am at least," he jokes and his huge lips arch into the brightest of smiles.

If Blaine would have been any other person, he'd probably let himself be fooled from that smile. But Blaine is Sam's best friend and he can't help but notice that his smile might be huge, but his eyes are different from the way they usually light up when Sam grins spontaneously (which he would probably consider creepy if he was sober, but he's dizzy and instinctive now, so he doesn't wonder about it; it's just one of those things a guy notices when he's got a crush on someone).

"Why don't we just get another beer and go to sleep?" He says instead, lifting his eyebrows. Sam looks surprised at the proposition, though Blaine doesn't know why. Did he have different plans? "I mean, I don't feel comfortable with killing zombies while Ryder is sleeping. It's still his place, you know-"

"It's not that," Sam says and shoves his hands in his pockets, looking down awkwardly. "I guess I'll just sleep on the couch. You're going to have a fiancé soon, so I don't think he'd be okay with you sleeping with some other dude in the same bed."

Blaine looks at him for a moment and laughs because he is pretty sure Sam is joking. But Sam is not. In fact, he just stiffens a little at Blaine's laugh and shoves his hands further in his pockets, sinking them there. Blaine's smiles drops slowly as he is gradually realizing that there was no joke actually.

"Are you serious?" He asks and Sam just rolls his eyes guiltily. "Sam, you're my best friend and you're going to be my best man. This is not sleeping with another man. It's just … us. I don't understand how can this not be okay now?"

Sam is silent for a long considering moment. He looks at Blaine with something in his eyes that Blaine has never seen before, something he can't read into. Eventually, he just shakes his head and clears his throat before he's speaking again.

"It must be the beer." He says, wincing a little and nodding to the bottle. But then, all of a sudden, Blaine thinks the beer is actually the best thing. When Sam started to drink earlier, he loosened up. Maybe he's getting nervous again because the drunken phase is already being washed off.

"No, I think it's just stress," he says then, stalking to the fridge and opening it quickly. Well, that's not something sober Blaine would have done either, taking advantage of Ryder's place so easily, but although he's not drunk, he surely feels less controlled and composed than usual. Let's say he feels easier.

When he turns to Sam, he is looking curiously at him, forehead wrinkled as he has no idea what his best friend is doing.

"So let's just drink up," Blaine explains quickly, handing one beer to him as he walks closer and keeps the other to himself, "I'm sure another beer can wash the stress off of you."

"Ugh, I don't think that's a good idea." Sam says but his body doesn't seem to agree, because he is already leaning his hand to take the beer from Blaine's. "I've only drunk one and I already feel weird."

"Weird like what?" Blaine opens his own beer against the wood of the kitchen counter, sighing in relief when he sees he hasn't damaged it.

It was a spontaneous gesture, he didn't even think about it.

Drinking makes him so out of control, he should have known – like kissing Rachel and trying to have sex with Kurt for the first time in the back of his car wasn't enough of a proof. But still, tonight he's with Sam. No one has ever managed to make him feel as light and protected as Sam. It's just like Sam is part of his family: nothing bad might happen, as long as he is around.

He lifts the bottle to his mouth, maybe too lost in thoughts to remember that he had actually asked a question. It is not until Blaine has swallowed the first sip of fresh liquid that Sam speaks again, making him startle at the words.

"Weird like walking there, holding you close and lots of things that are not okay."

The words sink into Blaine even quicker than the beer does. When he arches the bottle down to look at him, he's surprised to find an unusual flush along Sam's boyish cheekbones. It almost makes him choke his drink everywhere, but he seems to find the focus to keep it and pretend he is calm instead.

What does that even mean?

How is he supposed to not read into things when Sam is acting like this the night before he proposes to Kurt? And mostly, what does 'lots of things' include? Like, does it include more than walking closer and holding him? Does it involve kissing? And if Sam wanted to kiss him, would Blaine trail back and fight it? Of course he would. He's dating Kurt. He wants to be with Kurt. Until his dying day.

"Well, we're friends." He says then, pretending to be completely oblivious to the fact that Sam doesn't seem to intend it in a friendly way. "There's nothing wrong with cuddling and being close." He shrugs but Sam stiffens up and takes another sip from his beer, making the situation even tenser and more awkward around them.

The moment Blaine realizes things are suddenly running out of hand is when he catches himself staring at the way Sam's throat moves as he swallows down the drink. It's gorgeous, especially since he's always thought Sam's neck was fascinating. It's such an inviting column, bare and soft, made to be kissed and licked, marked, sucked and worshipped.

When the thought turns into vivid imagination in his head, his cheeks turn redder than Sam's ones and he can't help the choke that comes out this time. Why is he even thinking about that? Not that it is the first time, but he was free and careless when it happened, and he can't help the clenching sense of guilt that makes his stomach tighten.

"Well, we should go to sleep for real now." Sam sighs and he puts the bottle on the counter beside him, looking away from Blaine, gazing basically everywhere around the room not to meet his gaze. "We're starting to actually get drunk and I don't think that's good when I have all these things in mind."

Blaine wants to ask what he has in mind because he has been waiting for this for months.

He has been waiting for Sam to tell him something that was more than friendly. He was thankful that Sam didn't get mad because of his silly crush, but at the same time, he never stopped hoping for more. And that's it now. This is the truth. Until this very day, Blaine has lived with that hope in his heart and with the awareness that it was vain. That's why he's given up on Sam as more than a friend. Because it was just a vain hope.

But right now, Sam is opening a new door and this crushes down all of Blaine's certainties. He never needed to wonder what would happen if Sam suddenly decided he was into him, so if it did happen, Blaine wouldn't know what to do. He is just standing there, biting his lower lip and wondering why his heart is starting to hammer so quickly in his chest.

"I, huh, I think you're right." It's all that he manages to say, as he puts his own beer down on the table, "I actually need to gain some energy. You know, for tomorrow …"

He has no idea why he feels the need to remind Sam (and maybe himself too) about tomorrow, but it's out because he can ponder. That's what alcohol makes him do. Act on instincts.

They nod at each other more awkwardly than they've ever done and they move together. They stop for a moment only when they realize they were moving in the same direction and bumping against each other. Even then, they don't laugh or joke. They murmur quiet apologies and then Sam lets Blaine walk ahead until they're stepping upstairs. For some weird reason, Blaine isn't that calm at the idea of sleeping with his best friend anymore.

In fact, his legs are shaking while he moves along the hallway and guides Sam to the Lynchs' guest room.

They don't get to talk when they're in it either. Actually, it's just Sam walking in and Blaine half-shutting the door behind his back.

It isn't until he sees Sam walking towards a chair with a bag on it and then grabbing some clothes from it that he realizes what is going to happen.

He wants to say something; like that he is going to get changed in the bathroom. It's the wisest thing to do. So why can't Blaine speak it out loud?

Instead, he grabs the pajama pants and the hoodie Sam throw at him and walks to the bed to lean them on it. He checks on Sam, who is turned with his face to the wall and away from him, and then he starts getting undressed. His head spins a little on the quickest movements, but that's quite normal with two entire beers running through his system. He rips off his tight jeans and leans them on the mattress, but then he's forced to stop whatever he's doing when he accidentally throws one gaze in Sam's direction.

He's gotten out of his sporty domestic shorts and instead, his ass is hardly covered by small dark boxers that make it look amazing and so tempting that Blaine has to shake his head to remind himself that he's not supposed to do this. And yet, when Sam starts tugging at his t-shirt and lifts it over his own head, he's basically paralyzed with the staring.

He's seen Sam's back and in general almost every muscle of his body so many times in the locker room but this is completely different. They're all alone now, in a bedroom and they're going to sleep in the same bed for the night. This is nothing like changing at school, not with those awkward confessions downstairs.

In fact, he's pretty focused now, the artificial warm light of the room tracing perfectly every muscle of Sam's back and his spine. Blaine swallows to himself, feeling ridiculous as he stands there with the hems of his own shirt in his hands but he's unable to undo the buttons. Instead, the tips of his ears are suddenly on fire and his Bambi eyes are extremely wide.

When Sam's t-shirt is completely off and Blaine can't deny that this is just what it is growing inside him, he just lets go of the hems of his shirt and walks silent steps towards Sam, like he's hypnotized. And then his next words come out all of a sudden, before he can stop them. He has no idea why he is saying this, has no idea why he actually thought it.

"I feel guilty."

Sam doesn't startle at the words. Instead he just turns his head slightly and looks at Blaine over his own shoulder. He seems confused at the words but doesn't add anything to them anyway. Blaine is too determined to continue by now to mind though.

"I feel guilty because I cheated on him-"

"Blaine." Sam tries to stop him, but Blaine forces himself to ignore it, even when Sam turns around and it's hard to stay focused with his bare torso in front of his eyes.

"I feel so guilty and I've been feeling sick to myself for months," he murmurs and takes a few steps towards his best friend, his best man, his roommate for the night, "and I know you told me that I just made a mistake, I know I did, but I can't help but feel like I owe every single thing to him for hurting him so bad."

Sam looks straight into his eyes, he never looks down and Blaine can't stop walking towards Sam though his legs are shaking. Sam lifts his arms, crosses them to his chest like it's for self-defense or something.

"And everytime I think about this proposal, everytime I think about tomorrow," Blaine spreads his arms in the air and gestures nervously, "all that comes up to me is that I want to make Kurt happy, want to make him forget that I hurt him, want him to feel better …" he walks closer and closer, "I want our wedding to be something that makes up for it and finally earns me his trust back-"

"Do you realize this isn't a proper reason to get married?" Sam asks but by then, Blaine is standing in front of him, a minimal distance between them. "I thought you were getting married to Kurt because you thought he was your soulmate."

"I'm opening up to you right now." Blaine stares into his eyes. "Don't make it harder than it is already." He murmurs so quietly that if he wasn't this close, Sam would miss it. "All that I feel right now is a desperate need to win him back, to make him mine, to make sure he trusts me and he's not still mad at me for what I did. I know that somewhere inside, Kurt still thinks about it."

"And you think a proposal is the right way to fix it?" Sam shakes his head and tightens his arms around himself. "Dude, seriously, what's going on with you? You've been a mess lately."

"I'll try and give you an answer if you give me one too," Blaine murmurs, blinking and taking one long breath.

"About what?" Sam arches his eyebrows but with the look he's giving him, Blaine is pretty sure he knows what he is talking about.

"About your moods earlier." Blaine takes one last step towards him, until he can practically feel the heat radiating from Sam's body. "I know something's up, I can see it when you act differently, so don't act like that with me-" He stops for a moment when he realizes that Sam is looking downwards and not meeting his gaze anymore.

At first, he thinks that his best friend is just ignoring his gaze because he feels uncomfortable but then he realizes that Sam has just noticed that he had pulled his pants off. So he is staring. And Blaine has no idea how to feel about that.

Also he has no idea how his fingers end up around Sam's chin a moment later to tug it and force him to look into his eyes. And when Sam does look into his eyes, Blaine has no idea why that hand moves downward, fingers tracing slowly the shapes of Sam's built chest until the tips are stroking it in the most gentle but sexual way.

He has no idea why Sam is leaning in all of a sudden.

/

When Sebastian slowly leans him against the wall on the outside of the gay bar, hands at the sides of his head and face inches away from his own, Kurt can't pretend that this isn't just what it is anymore. He knows what he is doing and though he had a few drinks, he isn't nearly drunk enough to blame it on the alcohol; not completely at least.

It's not like he hasn't pressed his ass back against Sebastian while they were dancing to songs he didn't know. And even when he had felt Sebastian getting hard against him, it didn't stop him from rubbing his own body against the other boy. And that would have been okay, because it's dancing at a gay bar, so maybe a lot of guys actually do that with no regrets.

What makes him a little sick about himself – but not nearly sick enough to take a step back – is that he agreed that ridiculous 'it's hot in here, why don't we just go out and take a break' excuse and sneak out with Sebastian Smythe, letting him invade his personal space and breathe over his mouth while they stare into each other's eyes so closely.

"So, what now?" Sebastian says, his lips tilting into a not-so-innocent smirk.

"You're supposed to tell me that I'm wearing boy clothes now," Kurt teases, lifting an eyebrow in a direct challenge, "Or that being this close to my face is making you sick."

Sebastian gazes into his eyes for a moment.

It's intense and it says a lot more than words when it comes to attraction and desire. And Kurt has no idea how they ended up like this when they're supposed to hate each other, but the banter is fun and apparently not easy to give up on.

"And you're supposed to mock my clothes, my meerkat face, CW hair-"

"List them more accurately and I'll actually be able to think that you kept a secret journal where you romantically wrote down all the insults I managed to shoot at you." Kurt snaps quickly and Sebastian arches an eyebrow, apparently amused.

"Like I cared. They're so lame I just couldn't forget them." Kurt doesn't know why this way of teasing is turning into some sort of verbal foreplay, doesn't know how he ended up like this, pressed into a wall. "I've been having nightmares since then."

"You mean you've been having dreams since then," Kurt jokes and presses a little back in the wall, like he's trying to move away from Sebastian, though he isn't trying that hard after all.

"Fuck you, Hummel." Sebastian whispers, directly on his lips, his breath feeling hot and heavy from alcohol but still having that remarkable mint taste, probably from his toothpaste.

"You wish," Kurt bites his lower lip as he looks down at Sebastian's mouth. It's so thin, but still so inviting and close and different from anything he's ever tried.

"You want to kiss me so bad," Sebastian teases.

Kurt looks up to his eyes again.

"You wish that too," He blushes as he realize a little late that he's just implied that Sebastian wants to have him sexually, "I mean, you wish I would so that you won't have to admit that you want to do it yourself."

"We really shouldn't be doing this," Sebastian answers more seriously and Kurt guesses his good-boy police must be at least a bit serious if he actually worries about situations and people.

"No, we shouldn't," He agrees, his gaze wandering repeatedly and quickly between those green eyes and thin lips.

"We should be anywhere but here alone," Sebastian groans, frustrated and maybe a little mad at himself. And he is mad at himself because shit, Blaine asked him to keep Kurt busy for one night and that's what he manages to do, to find himself like this. Blaine is his friend, he asked for help because he wants to propose to this boy who Sebastian has pinned against the wall.

"We should go back inside," Kurt agrees, his heart beating at a faster pace than what he's used to. It seems like it's exploding with excitement, because he has to keep it. God, he's so good at keeping himself steady usually.

"Yeah, we should."

Sebastian has barely finished the sentence that their mouths are crashing together eagerly, pressing messily one against another in what seems more of a fight than an actual kiss. They battle with their lips and just a moment later with their tongues. Kurt's head spins just a little and from the way he has wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck without realizing, he isn't sure he's going remember the details in the morning.

He barely manages to notice when Sebastian moves him away from the wall and they stumble along the small street to get into the main road. By then, Sebastian has broken the kiss and is tugging Kurt to his car by the hand. Kurt giggles drunkenly and happily at the ridiculous thought of Sebastian Smythe and him holding hands, but his laughs turn into groans when he get thrown unkindly into the back of the car.

"Hey!" He complains but the car door gets closed and he's laughing again, way too careless to keep it.

He can barely count the seconds until Sebastian is in the car and turning the engine on to drive along the road.

"You know," Kurt says from the back of the car, palming distractedly at the hard on he's popped up in the last minutes, thought he isn't sure when that happened exactly, "You shouldn't drive, you're drunk. It's dangerous and I want to survive tonight."

"Shut up." Sebastian says, his voice sounding strict and focused.

Kurt brings himself to relax a little, his fingers just wandering for long before he actually manages to undo his pants so that he can palm and squeeze himself over the briefs. The touch is so relieving after more than half an hour of teasing that he can't keep the moan that comes of his mouth.

He's pretty sure he can hear a low curse coming from Sebastian but he doesn't mind. Instead, he relaxes under his own touch until Sebastian steers abruptly and all of a sudden, the car is still. He doesn't mind that much, until he has got his hand in his pants relieving him, he doesn't care about where he is. He hears the door go open but doesn't even tilt his head to check on until Sebastian murmurs, "Get up."

Kurt complains for a moment, but then, as soon as Sebastian's hand grabs his arms and starts tugging, he remembers just what he was doing. Sebastian seems to notice too because for a moment, he stops just looking at Kurt. When Kurt opens his eyes and meets his gaze, he is suddenly blushing darker than ever as he bites his lower lip in embarrassment. Sebastian's eyes trail down along his body and they finally lay on where Kurt wants them the most and doesn't want them at the same time. This is what alcohol does to him.

Sebastian just groans until he eventually decides he is done with the staring.

"C'mon, get up you fucking tease," Kurt gets hauled and when he's arched up quickly and feels a little sick to his stomach for the alcohol running in his system, he can't help but laugh stupidly.

The laugh dies in his throat once more though when Sebastian wraps his arms around him to make him straddle on his crotch until Kurt has got his legs on each side of his body.

That is the moment when Kurt realizes just where they are and what they're doing. He has known of course, but it just seems so much real now that they've driven somewhere to do this, to be like this, so intimately pressed together.

"Hi there," Sebastian murmurs and gives him a sly smile to which Kurt tries to reply, but he's actually too lost in contemplation of how close they are to actually do so. He startles just a little when Sebastian cups the back of his neck with his hand. "What was that thing about you wanting to kiss me again?" He asks allusively, lifting his eyebrows and Kurt stares for a moment at the way his defined cheekbones are flushing. It's just so cute to see Smythe like this. Cute and Sebastian again, that can't be good.

"Yeah, I remember something," Kurt tilts his head on the side and rests his hands on the buttons of Sebastian's polo, "About you wanting to kiss me." His lips arch barely into a smile before Sebastian is moving in.

The kiss is a little sober right now. Not completely, so Kurt isn't sure he can actually enjoy the taste of it, but still a little more intense than the one they had before. Their mouths slide together, it's messy and Kurt can barely focus on the movements but when he feels Sebastian's hands on his lower back, he doesn't care that much about kissing anymore. He doesn't even care about mocking Sebastian for not having fought Kurt's assumption about him wanting to kiss him.

He just wants more.

Sebastian's fingers are so long that they wrap his ass cheeks firmly, squeezing the globes amazingly in his hands. Kurt is sure he has never felt such big hands on him, covering him so well and making him feel like he's under covers. He's being pushed then, his own body rubbing against Sebastian's and he growls when he can feel the firm line of his erection grinding against his own, only covered by briefs.

Their mouths are colliding together harshly and Kurt is staring to press himself more intensely against Sebastian until he's desperately rubbing his cock against him, trying to find the best angle and the right friction. He wants more but at the same time, even though he's drunk, he doesn't manage to push for more, can't stand the idea of getting naked in Sebastian's car and let Sebastian fuck him the way he'd want it.

While he's too busy considering the hypothesis, he finds himself startling when Sebastian pulls his briefs off and starts jerking his dick directly in his hand. His palm feels so warm and amazing that Kurt has to sink his face in the crook of his neck to hide his blushing cheeks. He's blushing from excitement but he knows Sebastian might make some jokes about him being a blushing virgin.

When he does rest there though, Sebastian moves in to wrap his mouth around a spot on Kurt's pale neck, right over the collar of his shirt. He sucks there cruelly, with no kindness, and Kurt moans, knowing that it's going to leave a mark, but unable to stop him anyway. He wants this for some wicked sick reason.

"God, you taste good," Sebastian groans and then he bites his neck, "so fresh and soft and perfect-" Kurt fucks himself in the channel of his fist, his hips jerking back and forward frantically. "Your skin is amazing-"

"Tell me something I don't know," Kurt snaps and his movements are turning more desperate. When Sebastian moves his hand away, Kurt growls in displeasure but it fades into bliss when Sebastian licks his palm and then wraps his hand around him again.

Like this, the touch feels completely different, hot and wet and amazing, and all that Kurt can do is to just be there passively. He isn't like this when it comes to sex, not really, but right now, alcohol is making him particularly selfish, wanting to just get the pleasure for himself. Sebastian, however, seems to have it all figured out because he unbuttons his own pants with his free hand and then Kurt's hard dick is sliding against the other boy's in the not-so-tight channel of his hand. The intimacy of it is just too blissful and all that Kurt can do is to cry out at the closeness, not even caring about where they are anymore.

When Sebastian starts languidly licking his skin as he jerks them off, it's already too much for Kurt to stand. It might be an embarrassing quick orgasm but he really can't bring himself to care while he spurts all over Sebastian's fist and messing part of their clothes, high-pitched loud moans coming out of his mouth. The feeling is just amazing and he's collapsing over Sebastian's body a moment later, relieved when Sebastian moves his hand away and just masturbates urgently, pressing wet tiny kisses along Kurt's neck.

It's so awkward to see him like this, to have Sebastian so humanly desperate for him, to come for him.

"Let go, Sebastian," Kurt mewls in his ear, his voice a little sleepy, "let go."

"Yeah, you only want me to so that I can drive you home, princess." Sebastian chuckles, his hand never stopping the motion.

"Hmm," Kurt agrees with his face sunk in the crook of his neck, "'m tired."

"And drunk." Sebastian adds, his free hand snapping to palm Kurt's ass. "Fuck, you have the most gorgeous ass. Such a waste on you, I could-huh, lick it for hours, run my tongue all over it, fuckfuckfuck-"

That is what has Sebastian coming all over his lap, his growl lower and rougher than Kurt's. Kurt has no idea whether Sebastian was imagining what he was suggesting but he's pretty sure he was from the way his hand is still squeezing his ass cheek.

For some endless minutes, there's nothing more than their panting. They breathe harshly against each other and their chests almost brush together while they do so. Sebastian's hands come to rest on his hips instead of touching his ass and then Kurt is laughing, chuckling about nothing at all, maybe just in physical relief. He only stops when he notices Sebastian isn't laughing, instead he's still catching his breath. Kurt moves back just slightly to tilt his head and look into his eyes.

Sebastian's face is gorgeous like this. His eyes are half-shut, his mouth partly opened and his cheekbones are flushed with red shades that awkwardly make his freckles even more evident though his face is just enlightened by the artificial lights along the streets. Kurt bites his lower lip because he'd never thought Sebastian looked so good when he came.

"Wow," Sebastian murmurs, and only then he lets go to a low snigger, "Stop looking at me like that, gay face. I might actually think you've finally given up on your attempts to hide your attraction towards me."

"Do you want me to remind you how good I taste to you, Sebastian?" Kurt teases and Sebastian lets his head drop against the back of the seats, sighing heavily.

"God, this was so good," He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, "and it was just a handjob-" He stops all of a sudden, blinking and opening his eyes widely as he's suddenly become conscious about something. "Oh shit. I can't believe this just happened."

"Well, that makes two of us." Kurt shrugs, the alcohol in his system probably making him way too dizzy to have him realizing what Sebastian means. "I swear you were the last person I thought-"

"No, you don't get it." Sebastian tugs his hips like he wants Kurt to fall off of his crotch. "Blaine trusted me to take care of you tonight and I ended up giving you a handjob in the back of my car because I can't fucking keep it in my pants for one night only apparently-"

"Blaine …" Kurt murmurs softly, his mind slowly shifting into some sort of trance.

Blaine.

Sebastian can't actually believe he's done this, can't believe he has screwed his one chance to show Blaine that after his new positive mood he can be a good friend. Not to mention that he can't believe he ended up in the back of a car with one Kurt Hummel.

"Yeah, Blaine." He repeats and then grabs Kurt's face in his hands to force him to look in his eyes. Kurt startles a little at the quick movement – the alcohol still making him lazy and slow – but he pays attention to Sebastian's words anyway. "Listen to me, Kurt. You have to forget this happened or just pretend it didn't. Tomorrow Blaine …" he stops when he sudden realizes what he's about to say.

Should he tell Kurt about the proposal? That would make it worse because he would even fuck up Blaine's surprise. But at the same time … if Kurt actually gets surprised, considering how naïve and good he is, he would end up refusing the proposal and confessing that it's because he and Sebastian made out in the back of a car the night before. This can't happen.

"Tomorrow?" Kurt is asking already indeed, blinking in confusion. So Sebastian nods and keeps Kurt's cheeks firmly in his hands.

"Blaine is going to propose to you-"

"What?!" Kurt squeaks, his eyes going wide even through the mental fog from alcohol.

"Shh, just listen, babe." He strokes along his cheekbones with his thumbs, subtly trying to win Kurt's attention with sweetness. This is such a mess and he needs to repair to what he's just done. "He is going to propose, he's … set up all this enormous surprise number and you have to say yes-"

"What, no!" Kurt looks at him in shock, "What is it with you and telling me what I have to do with my life? Are you serious, Sebastian? You can't tell me when to get married or …"

His voice starts to slowly fade into silence as he realizes. He's cheated on Blaine. He can't pretend anymore because this conversation is suddenly turning his mind on and shaking him off his not-so-sober state. He has just done the same thing Blaine did to him, the thing that hurt Kurt so badly and that would probably make Blaine feel the same.

And the worst part is, Kurt can't be happy about it.

Even now, after all the pain he's been through, he can't bring himself to push Blaine through the same thing. Even now, he can't bring himself to just enjoy some stupid revenge. All that he can feel is the pain of having done something horrible to a person he loves, and mostly all he can think of is what would happen when if he said that to Blaine. How much would it hurt?

"I …"

"You can't." Sebastian cuts him before he can say anything. He slaps his cheek softly just a little, so that Kurt would look up to him again, since he had been staring at an empty spot, unable to focus. "You can't tell Blaine about this. It's going to hurt him so bad, Kurt."

Sebastian knows that what he's doing is some sort of brainwash and taking advantage of Kurt's drunk mind and, even though he couldn't care less about Kurt getting married to a boy whose pants Sebastian didn't manage to get in, he still wants to preserve his friendship with Blaine. If Kurt tells him that he cheated on him with Sebastian, well, that is going to be the end of their friendship. And honestly, after what he did to Karofsky, Sebastian isn't sure he could stand the guilt with Blaine feeling bad too. He knows how much Blaine cares about Kurt, knows how much it would kill him. So why the hell didn't that thought stop him from doing it?

"But it's not right," Kurt complains, a little drunkenly, but still as correct as it would have sounded if he was sober, "It's not right, how can I hide that from him? And what if he actually asks me to marry him? How could I say yes, how can I make it work when I just know what I did?"

His voice sounds broken, incredibly broken, and Sebastian has never dealt with this kind of situation. He would want to have the delicacy to say the right thing, but it's never been one of skills, so instead, he just tugs Kurt's face and shakes his head a little. Kurt looks a bit sick at first but then he glares directly at him again.

"Just do it. Tomorrow. I'm driving you home now and tomorrow we'll act as if nothing happened." Sebastian nods to him, "Blaine is your soulmate, you're probably never going to find someone who makes you feel like that. Would you risk losing it forever when all you have to do to be okay with him is keeping a secret?"

Sebastian isn't sure about what he is saying. He's never been into the soulmate thing and he has no idea what Kurt thinks about it, but he's desperate here. Luckily for him, Kurt seems to be hit by the words for some reason because his eyes get a little wetter and he just nods slowly before he says, "You're right, I'm not."

Sebastian is too busy sighing in relief to realize that twenty-years-old Kurt Hummel has just said he won't find another person who makes him feel like that.

/

Blaine barely has the time to wonder before Sam is pressing his huge lips softly on his own. He swallows into the kiss, sparkles of joy that run through his system for having finally gotten what he wanted – he shouldn't want it anymore by now, he knows, but he has wanted it for so long that there's nothing he can do to fight the sensation. Instead, he just presses his eyes shut together, allowing himself to just feel.

His fingers tickle from wanting to get to touch Sam more, for tugging him closer, but all he can actually do is to get lost in the kiss.

Sam's mouth is so big and soft that it actually wraps around his lips easily, just teasing and not sucking; which is frustrating when Blaine wants more – though he doesn't know if this is due to the alcohol in his system or all the times he's wanted Sam to do this, all the times he had to keep from jerking off in bed at the thought it.

Recalling that doesn't help him doing any better because when Sam's hands wander easily along his sides, never moving lower than his belly, and he's been pushed in closer, Blaine realizes he's barely rubbing the line of his new born half-hardness against his best friend's thigh. It makes him blush along his cheekbones as he slowly starts to kiss Sam back. This is nothing like when they hug and Sam jokes about the gums in his pocket. This is real, Blaine is half-hard for him, against him, and the best thing to do would be to just move back now before something he might regret happens.

At least, that's the rational part of him; the part that knows tomorrow he is going to sing for Kurt and ask him to marry him. And yet, his body doesn't manage to take the step back he needs to run away. Instead, Blaine lifts on his toes, his arms still wrapped tightly around Sam's neck as he opens his mouth underneath him. Sam hesitates, the tip of his tongue just sliding between his lips a little clumsily. Blaine knows Sam is a much better kisser than that but he can't wonder about why this is messy; can't think about the eventuality of feelings between them.

He just thrusts his hips forward, his hard dick sliding a little more against Sam's thigh before Sam moves his hands quickly under Blaine's ass and he lifts him up like Blaine doesn't even weigh more than a feather. Blaine wraps his legs around Sam's waist immediately, keeping them tied around his torso while Sam moves them along the room. He just wished there was a way he could fight it but there's not. There's not a single part of his body that wants to stop, and what's worse is that there's also a little part of his heart involved somehow.

He wants it this to be just heartless and amusing, but the truth is that it's not. Blaine wouldn't even do that, because sex is not what he needs, not right now. He is exposed because he has feeling for Sam and hasn't found out how to fight it just yet. When his back hits the wall beside the bed and Sam is sliding his tongue a little more deeply into his mouth, Blaine can't really help but think this is what he's always wanted. To be fucked hard into the wall-but he isn't getting fucked and can't let it happen.

Sam must think the same apparently because it's just a few kisses more before he trails back at looks into Blaine's eyes with something shining painfully in his own. There's some excitement there, and knowing that Sam is turned on by him makes Blaine hotter too. But there's also more than that. There is clearly shame and guilt, and Sam barely manages to bite his lower lip down before he's putting Blaine back with his feet on the floor.

Blaine hates the feeling of relief and delusion that comes with it, hates that he has to be split like this. It's confusing and it doesn't help him at all going through anything.

"I'm sorry, I-huh, guess I'm drunk," Sam murmurs and he looks anywhere in the room not to gaze at Blaine. This would be enough to prove to Blaine that he is lying; but the fact is that Blaine knows Sam isn't drunk. He might be dizzy, but drunk isn't accurate. "Forget it; I have no idea what I was doing-"

Blaine doesn't realize he is moving until he has wrapped his arms back around Sam's neck again and is kissing his soft big lips once more. He has got his eyes shut and is not really thinking. He isn't thinking about consequences, isn't thinking about anything but the way Sam has startled at the kiss and seems a little breathless. As stupid and risky it might seem, it is also the only way he knows he can let himself enjoy this. And he wants it, wants it so bad even though he knows he can. It's so frustrating and complicated.

When he shoves himself more against Sam though, he gets pushed away gently and Sam looks down into his eyes. Blaine knows his cheeks are probably flushed and red, and that his face must look amazed, but he can't help it.

"What are you doing, Blaine?" He asks weakly and hesitating, already sounding like he knows he is some sort of rebound. Blaine feels hurt at the eventuality that Sam might think just that. "You're going to propose to Kurt tomorrow."

The words have Blaine frowning because Kurt is the last thing he wants to think of right now. At the same time, he knows it's also the first thing he is supposed to think of because this is cheating, again, and Kurt didn't even look like he trusts him fully now just yet. And he's probably right, considering the way Blaine's fingers tickle to touch Sam.

When Blaine doesn't manage to speak or say anything at that, Sam continues anyway.

"I can't … we can't do this." He says, wrinkling his lips and frowning, his eyes expressing so much more than his voice won't let show. "You're going to ask Kurt to marry you and it's right. It has to be like this. Do you remember how you felt the last you did this? You were in pieces, on the edge and it was so hard for me to even convince you to stay at McKinley."

Blaine knows what he is talking about, knows that even though Sam didn't use the word cheating, it's what he is talking about. He appreciates that he hasn't mentioned it openly, but this doesn't change the damage that comes with it. It's happened again and no matter how hard he tries to pretend it's not what it is, that is his mistake haunting him again and again. The same pain he caused to Kurt in the last months is going to break him again if he tells him. It's going to ruin everything and there is no way Kurt will forgive him this time.

He had the best intentions in the world, he did.

His plan was only to love Kurt and woo him and worship him every single day of his life, but here he is; kissing his best friend and shamelessly pressing against him, losing everything he had fight hard to get back. And he knows this is more about Sam. If it were someone else, he'd be so head over heels for Kurt right now, so sure that Kurt is his soulmate, that he wouldn't need to even consider another man in an intimate way.

"I didn't want to do this." He shakes his head, looking for Sam's gaze but he doesn't manage to find it for longer than one second everytime. "This … I've just never even considered the idea of you and I-"

"I'm just drunk," Sam says then, finally looking into Blaine's eyes.

Blaine has no idea why the words hurt so much. He should be relived, should be happy that Sam is telling him that this is just a consequence of alcohol and nothing more. He should be glad that there is no way this is going to happen again. And yet there's this delusional part of him which is disappointed and feels like crying. It's not even that usual sensation he goes through whenever he doesn't get the attention he needs. It's a lot more than that and Blaine doesn't know how to face it.

His face must be really wrecked because Sam sighs and looks sorry for a moment.

"It's not that you're not amazing. You are and I told you so." His voice sounds now delicate and soothing. "You are charming and talented, and I'm sure I would totally have the hugest crush on you if I were gay or something." He takes the briefest of pauses and looks straight into Blaine's eyes. "But I'm not."

That breaks Blaine in any possible way. He feels like dying a little and has no idea why Sam is suddenly being so direct when he didn't seem to mind kissing him. But the fact is that he has spoken and right now there's nothing Blaine can tell him to fix it, right? He has a boyfriend, soon-to-be-husband. There is not even a reason why he would want to fix this. But he does.

"You were kissing me and pressing me against the wall." Blaine groans, but he sounds more desperate than annoyed, like he's begging Sam to tell him something different from what he has just said.

"I know, and I shouldn't have done that." Sam shakes his head and looks away once more before his eyes are back to Blaine. "It was so wrong and not only because I know about the crush you used to have on me," Blaine almost corrects him with use to have – almost, "but because Kurt is my friend too. I guess I shouldn't drink when I'm around charming people."

There's a sudden stab at Blaine's heart when the reminder of the alcohol hits him again. If they wouldn't have got drunk at all, this probably wouldn't have happened and it's just too painful to think that.

"I mean," Sam is starting again, sounding more nervous and maybe a little like he isn't sure about adding this part, "Why would you marry Kurt if he wasn't your soulmate? He is, clearly, so why bother and … huh, looking for something here?"

It doesn't make any sense in Blaine's opinion but it doesn't keep him from going back to the things he's been pondering about all night: the wedding and the reasons why he wants to marry Kurt. He feels sorry, freaking sorry for what he did to him, for the way he made him feel … he feels like he needs epic to fix it, like he needs to give Kurt everything he can to make it okay.

But how is that okay supposed to happen when Blaine has practically been doing the same mistakes all over again, although it is even worse now because, no matter what Sam thinks, he has his own feeling involved at least? How is he supposed to close this book once and for all, to forget about his crush on Sam, when the last page of it feels like a whole new beginning of pondering and situations?

"I just … I'm not sure about the reasons why I want to marry Kurt now." His chest aches a lot while he says it but it doesn't stop him from looking at Sam. "I mean, I love him and I'm sure I will eternally belong to him, but … this urge I have … to make it all happen now. I just don't know where it comes from."

"That's not that point," Sam says vainly and it looks like he doesn't want to give Blaine the possibility to take his choice back.

But considering how wrong Blaine has been before about this whole thing, maybe he'd better stop imagining. Reading into words and actions revealed itself to be just a failure when it comes to him and he doesn't want to experiment it some more.

"My point is-"

"It doesn't matter, dude!" Sam cuts in before Blaine can say anything. He sounds a little exasperate, but Blaine doesn't know if it has actually to do with him. "It just … doesn't matter. We should go to sleep and forget about this. You're my best friend, I don't want to screw up because we had a drunk moment!"

Blaine's face drops completely and he tries to fight the sense of sadness that comes with it. Instead, he forces the corners of his mouth up and smile at him. It's weak, but at least it's a progress. He needs to do this, needs to keep this special thing he has with Sam alive. No one has ever been a friend to him as much as Sam has and Blaine isn't going to lose it.

It doesn't matter if it means losing the only night when Sam acted like there was something more than that, especially because Blaine is so over himself thinking that he has a chance with this; not to mention that it's a chance he isn't suppose to want, not when he is going to propose to his boyfriend, whom he loves very, very much.

"You're probably right." His heart aches just a little – a lot – as he says so, but he tries to keep the smile up. Losing Sam as a friend would be worse than losing the chance of having more. If he fixes this, Sam is not going to walk away from his life completely. "But I was expressing my insecurities to you as a friend."He beams fondly. "Sometimes I feel like I have to do these things for Kurt. I don't feel that obliged or anything, but … I can't really understand myself these days."

From the considering look Sam gives to him, Blaine is pretty sure that he can't understand him either lately. He knows, because before he talked him into this, Sam didn't even agree that much on Blaine's idea of getting married. Blaine doesn't why he is being this supportive now, has no idea what he really thinks but after what happened, he isn't sure he is supposed to find out.

"Think about Kurt then." Sam shrugs, a little tensed, continuing when Blaine frowns in confusion. "Think about this whole thing. Are you willing to wake up next to him every morning? Are you going to wear a ring every single day of your life from now on? How would you feel if Kurt wanted to have a baby or something? Are you going to ever regret proposing to him?"

Sam is just so good at getting under Blaine's skin, seriously. He knows exactly what the right question to have him feeling in a particular way is, knows how to get what he needs. Blaine can't even fight this because he could never not want these things with Kurt.

For the last two years, Blaine has imagined his future life with Kurt and Kurt only. Even in his darkest times, when he was afraid that Kurt was moving on and leaving him behind, that Kurt was starting a new beginning that didn't include him, Blaine had never tried to picture his own future without Kurt. And when he hurt Kurt the most, when he made that huge mistake (the one he's been about to even repeat tonight), he was desperate at the thought of not having that future he had planned on.

Therefore, when he thinks about waking up next to Kurt every morning, about wearing a ring that makes their love official, about them having a baby … Blaine can't picture himself regretting it. And why would he even regret something he has wanted so hard for so long.

"You're probably right." He sighs and shakes his head, eyes looking away from Sam. "I just … I'm just confused because lately things have been out of balance between us." He explains and he's already calming down (but he feels so saddened at the fact that the kiss and everything that happened tonight is already starting to seem blurred, like it was just a fantasy). "I guess we should go to sleep. I really need some rest." He adds, having no idea why it sounds so stupid that they're not dealing with the consequences of their actions. "I don't want to look awful while proposing."

The joke is enough to have Sam choking a laugh and that has Blaine feel relieved, even when he turns away from him and starts picking his pajamas on. Blaine has no idea why it seems like Sam is shaking, but he's pretty sure that it's just an illusion coming from his drunkenness, both from beer and Sam himself.

Everything might be more relaxed by now, but Blaine is suddenly left to spend the night before his proposal dealing with a sense of guilt that is making him sick to his stomach. Maybe knowing that Kurt is the same situation as him would have made things completely different and easier for him. But he doesn't know, and that's why he is going to spend the night villainizing himself once more.

Only this time, Sam isn't going to soothe it for him and Blaine doesn't look for it anyway. He's still shocked at what happened and isn't sure he would be able to ask anyway, not when sleeping in the same bed as Sam feels so awkward and way more intimate than it should.

---

A/N: Okay, so here's the explanation.

While giving me this prompt, my friend was very detailed about what was going to happen at first (and by that I mean these first three chapters). I have to admit that I'm pretty hesitant to write smut so quickly in canon stories, especially in these cases, but I would not write her prompt differently from what she's asked me to. Now that I'm over the detailed part, I guess I'm going to work on my own development and that is going to take a different direction. It was going to be more of an hook-up in both the cases, but I asked her if it was a problem to soothe it - if so this can be described as.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know what you think! xoxo