For the last 2 weeks since the cops appeared outside Sonos door, Seiji made a point to go see him every night after work and eventually stayed over a few nights just to be sure he slept properly. Though Sono would say he was fine and could handle it, his actions said otherwise.

Seiji noticed that Sono was getting more and more twitchy, fumbling things in his hands from time to time. He had dropped numerous glasses to the point where Seiji bought him new cups.

The blonds was many things, but he was a terrible liar. And he was trying so very hard not to face reality.

Seiji was getting worried, more than worried. There were nights where Sono would be fine, perfect even, smiling like nothing was wrong.

There were nights were he would fight it...fight the reality that Takeo was out there and looking for him to do god knows what to him. And it would make him angry, pushing Seiji out and telling him to come back the next day.

Seiji would never be angry with him, mostly because he couldn't understand what the blond was going through. He had never been in this situation before. All he could do was try and be there for him as best as he could.

One night in particular stuck out in his mind.

He had went grocery shopping for the two of them and once he got to Sonos home, he could tell something was very wrong. Without even thinking, he opened the door and stepped inside, seeing how destroyed his apartment looked. Papers were strung everywhere, along with water bottles and sake bottles. Clearly, Sono was trying to drink himself into a stupor without actually being drunk. Hence why Seiji found him sitting in his work chair, staring at a wall as he walked in.

He heard his footsteps, turned his head and quickly stood to greet him. The sight was sad. Sono looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, his hair was everywhere. But he played it off casually, flattning his hair and smiled, giving Seiji a hug before taking the bags and set them in his kitchen, unpacking.

He was going through the motions of a usual day and it broke Seijis' heart to see this. Considering what he knew and didn't know at least.

Trying to be cool about it, Seiji asked,

"How was your day?"

"Hm? Oh uneventful. Work is work, you know...the usual."

"I see...nothing happened after work?"

"No, why would something happen?"

Seiji rubbed the back of his head and gulped, not knowing what to say at this point. The look Sono was giving him was unsettling. So, to ease the mood, he smiled and mentioned about a broken printer at his publishing company, to which Sono smiled and turned his back to him to start chopping veggies. This made Seiji especially nervous considering how badly he was shaking right now.

The younger watched him intently, trying to keep the conversation as far away from the elephant in the room as possible...

But when Sono stopped chopping and Seiji stopped talking, that's when the mood shifted drastically...

"Sono?"

"..."

"Hey I didn't mean it like that, I...I just-"

"I know what you're doing, Seiji and...and I appreciate it...but it doesn't change things. It doesn't change that somewhere...out there...he's got my face in his books and the things he wants to do to it...it's maddening...I don't know how to feel or what to say or how to act. Am I supposed to be shocked? I knew this would happen eventually. I'm not stupid...I'm just..."

He trailed off, not turning but lowering his head. Seiji stood from his chair, but didn't make any other movements. He had a general idea of what the man was trying to say...conflicted.

Sono was 100% conflicted about this whole thing. This was Takeo. The man who ruined his adolesance. The man who nearly killed him on their graduation night...

...the man who was, technically, Sonos' first love. Who wouldn't be confused on how to feel?

"I remember...after graduation...mom and Oto had to go out of town to check out apartments for him and Oto had so badly wanted me to come. But I was too afraid to leave the house. And father stayed with me, by my side the whole time. It was part of his way to make up for the horrible things he did to me...and it was nice...but you know what, it doesn't change what he did. My father still hurt me...still called me terrible names...I'll always have a scar from that. I don't know if I could ever fully forgive my father for what he did to me..."

Seiji listened intently, trying to close in on a point Sono was trying to make. But when he heard an intake of breath, he knew to keep quiet and continue listening.

"I tried to fully forgive my father, I really did. There was a night where I had a sickening nightmare, that both Takeo and my dad decided I...would be better off dead. I woke up screaming and my dad came rushing in, panicking. When he saw that I was in tears, he held me, kissed me and told me everything was ok, that Takeo was gone. But having him hold me like that...It made things worse...I was terrified of my father again...I tried pushing him away, but I was so scared I didn't have the strength. Even now, after all these years and everything is alright again...I still have a hurtful mark that Kenji Hanasaki left on me that I don't know that I can ever forgive..."

The blond gripped the counter, trying to level his breathing. Seiji watched as he tried to contain himself.

"I had a nightmare last night...I dreamt Takeo found his way into my home and...strangled me to death...but that's not the worst of it...the worst is unlike my father to where I tried to push him away, I accepted it with Takeo. I accepted my death. What kind of sick irony is this...I didn't push Takeo away because I was alone...I pushed my father away because he made me feel alone...what is happening to my head, Seiji...I don't know what to do...I feel like...if he showed up...if Takeo did find me there'd be no way for me to push away...I'd let him kill me...and I'd forgive him for it...damnit, why? Why am I like this? Why am I so eager to accept death by someone I used to love but so hesitant to be held by my own father...?!"

Sono was in tears by this point. There was no hiding it. He slid down the counter to his knees, sobbing and resting his head against a counter door. It had been brewing in his head for so long and now that he just threw it out for Seiji to hear, he couldn't take it. It was eating him alive to feel this way.

By now, Seiji had been a silent spectator. The minute Sono had fallen to the floor, he was by his side, holding him close and kissing his knuckles. Just the feeling of pure love in his form made Sonos tears dry up in seconds, though his eyes were red and puffy, tired and exhausted.

Seiji wrapped his arms around him and said,

"No more, Sono. Don't talk like this...this isn't you. The reason you're feeling this way is because the Takeo you remember helped you through your fathers abuse before becoming another source of pain for you. That's why you can't let this go. Your father loves you. Takeo does not...not the way you think he did. But I'm here and I love you. And I'm not letting you go. I've told you this. I made a promise to you that I'd protect you from him, didn't I?"

Sono didn't say anything so Seiji continued.

"No one and I mean no one is killing you. I'd gladly die for you in that instance."

Memories of Naokis death flooded Sonos mind and he shook his head, wanting to tell Seiji no but the man was quick to read his mind.

"You're not talking me out of this. I've made up my mind. I promised you I'd be there for you. I'm young, I'm stubborn. He's not going to break me easily. I fight for what I love and what I love is you. He's going to need a bulldozer to take me down to get to you. Believe me...if anything happened to you...no. I won't allow myself to think this way. I'll take down whatever he throws at me."

Seiji kissed the blonds head and rocked him back and forth on the floor. Sono didn't know what to say, but allowed his already tired eyes to flow more tears. He cried in his lovers shirt, trying so hard to keep calm, but judging by how Seiji was handling this, which was a hell of lot better than he was now, he let everything out. He was in hysterics.

They embraced on that kitchen floor for hours, Seiji hadn't let go for a second. Sono had stopped crying a while ago, only to rest his head against the younger mans chest. They had linked hands and occasioanly, Seiji brought his hand up to kiss his loves pale fingers. Sono was in absolute awe at how well Seiji was taking all this in.

"How?"

"Hm?"

"How can you be so calm about this...?"

"I have to be. If you saw me freaking out and crying, you'd think everything was impossible. It's my duty to be your rock when you need me and vice versa should it arise. Right now, you need me to be strong for you and damnit, I'll be the steardiest rock you've ever seen."

Seiji smiled and leaned his head back against the counter, closing his eyes. But Sono continued to stare up at him with an oddly satisfied expression. Somehow, hearing Seiji say all that was the most comforting thing he needed to hear. Smiling to himself, he curled his head against the mans neck and shut his own eyes, calming his aching brain.

Eventually, Sono had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor and Seiji had gotten him comfortable in bed before he recieved a text from Yasuda, asking about their upcoming volume. Taking this chance to see his friend, but not to be too far from his love, he opted to meet Yasuda at a near by coffee shop, to which his friend was quick to agree.

He met Yasuda at the shop about 20 minutes later, hearing him nag about about being late and the cliche apologies. They sat inside, ordered two plain coffees and talked business for over an hour.

Pretty soon, Seiji could tell Yasuda was losing interest in their business talk and came right out with,

"How's Sono doing? You mentioned his traumatic like blast from the past. Is he coping well?"

"As well as he can, I guess. I actually just left his apartment after he went to sleep. He's...doing the best he can with what he has."

"I can only imagine. The poor guy. Takeo is one of Japans most wanted and Sono's caught in the middle...how are you handing it?"

"About the same. I need to stay strong for him. But damn, Yasuda...it's like he's a zombie half the time now. And he's putting on faces to make me think he's alright when I can see he's clearly not well. I'm worried about him. I've never seen him like this before."

"Have you talked to your publisher about this? If you keep worrying like this, it'll interfere with your work. Just tell him a family matter has come up...well, then again, Sono isn't really family, but-"

"Not yet, anyway. I've put some thought into that."

Yasuda spit his coffee out so fast that other patrons were staring at them. But Seiji looked unphased as his friend jumped up, proclaming,

"Hold the hell up! What do you mean, not yet?! Is there something you need to tell me, baka?"

Seiji smiled and waved him off, standing up and set his money down for his coffee, patting Yasudas shoulder, saying they'd talk later. He bolted out of the coffee shop, ignoring his friends yells at him.

In truth, him saying it only made him wonder about it more. It had been burning in Seijis mind for a number of months. Hell, a good chunk of his paychecks went into this. Speaking of which, now that he was thinking about it, he pulled out his phone, dialing a number and waited.

He spoke with a man for a few moments, discussing some details and after a while, Seiji hung up his phone, smiling to himself, all while not paying attention to his friend running after him in a frenzy.

"Hold the phone, you idiot!"

Yasuda finally caught up with him, breathing heavily and leaning his hand against his friends shoulder, all while Seiji came him such an blank look.

"You...you're being serious. You're being seriously serious?"

"About what?"

"Don't play dumb! Are you seriously considering...asking him?"

Seiji shrugged, a blush on his face.

"It's...crossed my mind. More than I can count."

"You realize if you do this...that if you go through with that and people find out...the media will blow it up to be this big scandle, right? I don't want you both to get hurt just because you love each other and-"

"God, you sound like Sono lately. Always trying to talk me out of things. Hehe. I've weighed out the options, I know the reprocutions. And I don't care. I'm tired of allowing my relationship with him to take a back seat just because of his stupid 'reputation'. And right now..."

Seiji stopped for a moment, staring at the streets, watching people pass them by. Some people were stopping to stare at them, but Yasuda saw the gears in his friends head turning at full speed. And finally, after a few moments of silence, Seiji continued.

"...right now, he needs me. If I do chicken out of this, then it won't change things between us. I'll always be there...even if he pushes me away like he used to do with others..."

Seiji finally stopped and let out a breath of air. Yasuda was awestruck. This was the most mature he had ever seen his best friend in ages.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"I do, Yasuda. More than I thought I'd ever love someone."

"...then you're still an idiot, but you'd even even more of one if you didn't try. No doubt he'd be shocked. Haha, but the two of you are perfect together. So I can't stop you."

"No way you'd be able to. Haha. I win now drop the subject."

The two men nodded and gave each other quick high fives before seperating down the road, Yasuda heading down to the bus station while Seiji heading back to the apartment, wondering if Sono was awake by now.

A silly blush graced his cheeks at the thought of him walking into his lovers room, seeing a sleepy blond rubbing his eyes and giving him a look of pure adorableness.

Then that thought faded in seconds as he recalled a day where he showed up to Sonos home early in the morning, walking in with so much happy energy and wanting to share it with his love.

He was not greeted with adorableness, nor he was not greeted with a sleepy sexy blond...he was greeted with the aura of absolute death and a glare so sharp Seiji felt it deep in his organs, suddenly fearful for his life.

Stopping in his tracks, Seiji felt the chill of Sonos wrath of being rudely awoken travel down his spine once more. Perhaps he'd take a walk before he went back to check on him.

He eventually returned to the apartment 2 hours later, having sitting at a nearby park to people watch. Spring was definantly making an apperance even through the chill of remaining winter.

He had overheard some women talking about the cherry blossoms blooming soon and had an internal debate of taking Sono there to...once again, a blush graced his cheeks and he shook his head. Less time worrying about that, more time taking care of his lover.

Stepping into the apartment, he announced his arrival and heard a call from the kitchen. Taking off his shoes and walked into the suddenly warm home (Sono must've woken up to turn on the heater), he walked into the kitchen, seeing his blond lover leaning against the counter, drinking a glass of water. He didn't look as tired and his stress lines were nearly gone. He must've had a great nap.

Smiling, Seiji walked towards him and pressed a kiss to his forehead, making Sono give a small smile.

"Where were you? I woke up about 45 minutes ago and you weren't here."

"I had some work to care of with Yasuda."

"Oh? How is Yasuda-san? I haven't seen him for a while."

"He's the same. Giving me the business when I forget or when I already get it from you. But he's good. He asked about you and your...situation."

The glass froze on Sonos lips after that was said and he mumbled,

"He knows?"

"You know he knows. He's just as worried about you. I didn't know what else to tell him."

"No it's alright...he's your trusted friend...and I trust him too...he deserved to know I guess."

Seiji said nothing, but wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him close. Sono felt warm in his embrace, but was still shaken a bit. The younger man kissed his temple, asking,

"Did you at least sleep well?"

"A little. I had a headache but I must've slept through it...no dreams though, so I guess no dreams are better than bad dreams."

Seiji nodded, not sure of what to say to this. He watched his love drink his water slowly, feeling the rippling affects over his skin. Looking up at the clock, he noticed it was getting close to 7 pm and he really didn't feel like heading home. Not while Sono was still in a state of shock.

Nuzzling his hair, he asked,

"How about this. I'll stay the night with you, just so you feel more comfortable. Then tomorrow, I'll walk half way with you to work, we'll get some coffee and when we get off, we'll head to my place and work until 6 like we always do, snuggle on my couch and spend the rest of the evening in each others arms until you decide you're sick of me and head home. Does that sound good?"

An amused chuckle sounded from Sonos throat and he nodded.

"Sure. Aside from the snuggling and the me getting sick of you. Knowing us, we'll spend more time touching each other than actually working. And even though I have this...twisted thing going on in my life right now, I'd rather it not interfere with my work nor do I want it messing with yours. Clear?"

"Crystal."

The blond smiled bigger and tilted his head up for a kiss. It was a short kiss, but it made him shiver.

After breaking apart, Seiji smiled at him, setting his glass down on the counter and whispered in his ear,

"Let's go take a bath. You could use a little relief. And I'm sure the hot water would relax these tense muscles."

To emphasize the tense part, Seiji lightly squeezed his loves shoulders, seeing how he gasped and winced all at once. But when he calmed down, he chuckled to himself.

"You don't play fair, Seiji. Using my stress to your advantage. Very well. Two can play this game."

Sono leaned up and kissed his lover hard, wrapping his arms around his neck and running his fingers through his brown hair. A growl of surprise came from Seijis mouth and his own hands caressed his hips.

With no other words, Seiji hoisted the blond up and felt his thin legs wrap around his waist, never breaking their kiss. The man guided them to the blonds bathroom, shutting the door with his foot.

In the midst of their passion, both men failed to remember their cell phones sitting on the dining room table. Seijis phone starting ringing and the caller I.D showed the number Yakura had given them for contact.

Sonos phone also rang.

The number was unknown.