The Introduction:
Inuyasha: The Parody: The movie: It's just like the show, only longer! What's not to love?

The disclaimer: If Inuyasha were mine, I would chain him in the basement and make him sing Sonny and Cher duets with himself. Alas, Rumiko Takahashi is currently making him sing shitty JPop karaoke with his crew of misfits. Where's a halfway house when you need one?

Inuyasha: The Parody: The Movie: Why This Was a Bad Idea in the First Place: Part A: Capybaras Rock!

A gory action sequence begins this movie in order to explain the entire plot to first-time viewers in all of five minutes. We wonder who jumped on board at episode 150, but animators need cash and we're not supposed to question. We're too wrapped up in watching a giant scorpion/turtle/mostery thing get decapitated/dismembered/gutted. A jewel shard is shown so there is an excuse for why this poor scorpion/turtle/monstery thing will not be retuning home to his wife and young… offspringy things.

A note: Despite repeated letters, PETA still ignores this plight.

So anyway, this action scene continues by showing us who we're supposed to want to 'hook-up.' Sango and Miroku will passionately cry each other's names, Inuyasha will rescue Kagome from certain death and Shippo will ruin an intimate moment by screaming and otherwise being a total bitch. (We pretty much all hate this kid anyway. He's probably just there to waste time. Animators… you guessed it… rejoice. (Even though they are vaporized (parentheses (yay).).).)

So, the completely inane monster has been defeated. Yay for the good guys (if you like your good guys cooked rare, with a little dysfunction on the inside)! We see a few uncommon minutes of relaxation in which we are reminded that yes, Inuyasha really likes ramen or that capybaras are the world's largest living rodents or… whatever. Anyway, we think it's totally awesome.

Kagome and Inuyasha have a fight that should end in some huffing and forgetting about it. It doesn't. Inevitably, Inuyasha is pounded into the ground. Kagome goes back to her time because we all forgot that she actually, supposedly, theoretically has a real life. We who are cynical wonder why her family didn't just fake her death and be done with it. Those who are sanguine suggest that Kagome will actually survive this whole fiasco (despite the fact that her only real protector has proven that he could easily kill her while out of control and while in control is being distracted by a corpse. She's screwed.)

Said corpse will now make an appearance! Why? Who knows? She's probably just healing the sick or curing the lame or giving sight to the blind. Like Jesus, but on a homicidal revenge-bender. Anyway, this is a 'ooh, Kikyo is still wandering around, what's going to happen with her?' To which the answer is a resounding 'who cares?' Kikyo is forgotten.

Kagome returns. She and Inuyasha will tentatively make up. The fluff-deprived audience will think this is cute, rather than a sick perversion of unexpressed teenage hormonal instinct resulting in deep-seated resentment of one another. (Don't analyze that…)

Some will use this 'cute' scene to make AMVs. Vaporized animators will rejoice again. Fans will spend many hours downloading. Webrings will be born. There will be joy within the internet community. Hoorah! You blinked. Another fan site was born. Not to worry, you won't miss much. It will be forgotten when the movie drops to the back of the shelf. You know, right behind Initial D.

Back to the story. Kagome will be abducted. Why?

a. She looks cute in a skirt
b. She can sense jewel shards
c. Who doesn't want to see 'Vengeful-Inuyasha' in action?
d. Who else were they going to kidnap? Shippo? That kid's a pain in the ass. And no one would save him.

Right. So, anyway, Kagome is kidnapped. There is much Inu-angst. We think it's cute, not a disturbing display of possession and the guilt complex that internally devours Inuyasha. There are wistful sighs and teary eyes. We think we feel his pain. A few psychos commiserate over how their significant others left them because they were half-demons. Some fans are now realizing that they may be in over their heads.

The entire plot is revealed by an inconsequential character- possibly one with crush on said abductee or inexplicable, before undiscovered family ties to one of the remaining party members. Discussions and impatient Inuyashas ensue.

There is a violent struggle. Alternatively, Inuyasha and Kagome are turned against each other, but somehow overcome mind control/magic thingies because… who knows, they're just kick ass like that. Alternatively or in addendum, Inuyasha and Kagome team up and shit gets resolved. Anyway, 'goodness' (cough, cough) prevails.

To avoid actual payoff, Inuyasha and Kagome must fight… again. Cause otherwise it would be making out to relieve the sexual tension that could castrate an elephant. Credits roll to music that will instantly be downloaded by hundreds of thousands of rabid fans. Yay, merchandising!

Next Episode: Sesshoumaru is around here somewhere! Fan girls rejoice!

Those with no sense of humor are assuring themselves that long-winded flames make them sound smart. Flames will be used as a campfire around which we will sing kumbaya. Don't you feel guilty now?

Those with a sense of humor are invited to share in the feelings of intellectual superiority or the joys of reading thesauruses. More is coming. BEWARE!