Chapter 3: Furry Guardian (Bella's POV)

Once again I had that nightmare, and once again I awoke with a blood-curdling scream.

This became a normalty in my life. This dream, this consistant nightmare. God knows how many times I've wished it away, I've wished my thoughts away. The dream never gets better, but it also never gets worse. That helps. I only have to endure so much pain.

I still haven't heard Edward's voice. Ever since that almost accident at the cliffs yesterday, I've been reminded by Jacob's careful arms around me, whenever I find myself in danger. What did it matter, though, that I wanted some danger? Jacob shouldn't care so much.

But he does. And to my dismay, there's nothing I can do to stop that. Ever since that fateful day on the beach, the day Mike planned with all our friends, the day I got to know Jacob Black just a little bit better; I knew since then I never should have flirted to get what I want. It was a mistake.

Now I'm trying to make up for that mistake, yet at the same time I can't keep away from him. Jacob, my Jacob, is my own personal sun. He brightens my day and scares away all the bad memories I have whenever we're near each other. That warm smile...I sighed, he really is my best friend.

I looked over to my alarm clock: it was 4:30 A.M. on the dot. For some reason I couldn't find myself going back to sleep, so I got out of bed and headed to the shower. A nice warm shower should help clear my thoughts...

It didn't. I still couldn't help but to worry. I wondered if I should go wander in the woods, maybe I'd hear the sound of Edward's beautiful voice again...Though it's not expected. He hasn't come around in my head for days now.

Shutting the water off, I got out and quickly dressed. I left a note on the counter for Charlie, letting him know I was going over to Jake's. I figured he'd be awake by now. If not I'd just go to the beach and hang around till he woke up.

My truck pulled, loudly I might add, into the Black's property. Turning off the engine, I sat in silence to gather my thoughts. I almost considered going on the cliff again, but knew if I did Jacob would never let it down. He'd be at my side once again, pulling me away, and making me feel guilty. Gosh, I just miss Edward's voice.

I sighed and pulled the creaking door open, jumping down, then slammed it shut. Immediately I saw someone peek through he curtains: it was Billy. I smiled lightly as he opened the door and let me in, "Morning Bella, you're here early."

Scratching the back of my head nervously, I grinned, "Er yeah, sorry 'bout that. I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep.." I looked over at the clock. It was still only. 5:30 A.M. "Um, is Jake up?"

He shook his head, "Nope. He's sleeping. He didn't get back from patrol till 2:00. He must be really tired."

I cringed, "Yeah, I'll uh, let him sleep. Tell him I'm on the beach."

Billy smiled, "No problem."

I let myself out and walked down on the wet sand to the even more wet beach. The sun was just starting to peek its way over the rocking ocean, letting a bit of light illuminate the spray coming off the waves.

I felt bad. Ever since Victoria, mate to the vampire James that tried to kill me last spring, starting coming after me in vengeance for Edward killing her mate, Jacob and his fellow pack members had to patrol every day and night...constantly. She really was persistent, looking for me, and evading the werewolves attempt to kill her.

I wondered if she even now was looking for me. A shudder went through my body as that thought came to mind, and I quickly brushed it off. I knew that at least one of the pack members had to be on patrol at this very moment. I'd be fine...right?

Only an hour went by, and already I was feeling an extreme lonliness.

Suddenly my eyes darted to the side, seeing my best friend. He always came right when I needed him. I smiled lightly, "Hey Jake."

He, on the other hand, grinned, "Hey Bells! You're here pretty early." then stiffled a yawn, "Sorry I wasn't up when you came."

I waved a hand in the air, "No worries...I wish you would have slept longer, actually. You've been workin' too hard lately, you need to sleep more! You look so tired."

He grinned and shrugged, "I'm fine Bells, really. Just glad you're here." Then sat beside me on the log, "How are you?"

I shrugged lightly, "I'm alright." Yet of course, I could tell he saw through my ruse right away.

He wrapped an arm around me lovingly, "No you're not. You never are; what's wrong hun?"

I gulped lightly, trying to fight back an array of tears starting to blur my vision. "Really, Jake, it's nothing to worry about."

He was silent for a moment, then spoke quietly, "It's about that bloodsuck-...I mean, Edward, right?" I could tell he was trying to be sensetive.

I thought about my reaction for a moment, then nodded lightly, "Y-yeah."

His silence edged me on, "Well," I started, "This is gonna sound crazy." He just nodded. "Well...I noticed a few months ago...whenever I put myself into...a dangerous adventure, as you called it," I paused to give him a side glance, then continued, "I hear...his voice."

He blinked, then rose an eyebrow, "...Continue." he said in a monotone voice.

"It's like he's warning me not to do anything dangerous, telling me to be careful. I just, miss his voice...and that's why I kept doing dangerous things...so I could hear him." I sighed, "But I haven't heard his voice in several days now. That's why I tried to jump yesterday...I hoped to hear him again."

Jacob sighed, "Never do that. Never put yourself into such a seriously dangerous position, Bella." I felt his grip tighten, and shake a bit.

I was silent for a few minutes, so he spoke, "I understand you care for him still...but y'know, he left you. It's not your fault, and you keep putting yourself down emotionally for what happened. I know I've spoke these same words over and over, but...Bells," he paused, lifting my chin lightly with one large hand, "Hun, you're worth so much more than you believe. If you ever got seriously hurt, or die-..." he gulped, "I don't...know what I'd do."

My eyes watered slightly, "Jake..." I tried to reach out and hug him, but before I could he stood and I saw his body tremble.

His eyebrows were knitted together as he spoke, "Bella, I'll never let you be alone again." I blinked, surprised, in response but let him continue, "It's obvious that if I do you're just gonna keep getting hurt..just to hear that lousy blood-sucker." He obviously wasn't being careful of his words anymore, "For what he did to you, I could never ever put up with him. If he ever comes back here..." I cringed, he continued, "...I'll never let him touch you again. Bella, think of me as not only your best friend...but also your furry guardian."

A small smile played on his lips. I blinked a few times, and stuttered, "Jake, c'mon. It's not that bad...I'm fine..."

Suddenly he was right in front of my face, hands gripped around mine. "It is. And...I care too much to let you get hurt."

I tried to be offended, but I couldn't. That was my Jacob smiling, telling me he'd be there for me. Maybe it was time I accepted the fact that I had a new, warm shoulder to lean on.