Bewildered Circumstances

by: Sorrowful Princess

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Chapter 3: Pain of Letting Go

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The main gate of Alice Academy opened as a brunette make its way into the academy. The sun is shining bright and from the looks of it, it's already noontime. Walking its harmful rays, the brunette almost stumbled on the ground. Good thing the guard caught her in mid-fall.

"Miss Sakura, shall I take you to the hospital?" the guard asked kindly.

Upon mentioning her name, Mikan's eyes grew wide.

"Sir, you know my name?" she asked.

The guard smiled warmly. "Yes, I was told by a certain someone that a girl named Mikan Sakura would probably came wounded. He told me to take you to the hospital if that's the case." the guard answered curtly.

Mikan's eyes grew wider. Her curiosity started to arose.

"Someone? Who?" she eagerly asked. She felt her heart breathed some hope assuming that that certain someone was him.

The guard smiled again.

"Persona-sama told me. He's also the one who told me to treat you with care." he replied. "It seems that he cares for you a lot, Miss Sakura."

Upon mentioning Persona's name, the smile on her face vanished. Her heart sank deeply with the thought that the person who was used to inform that she might come wounded was no longer there. The person she loves the most. Frustrated with what she heard from the guard, she forced herself to stand up.

"Miss Sakura, Please don't force yourself. I'll take you to the hospital now." the guard said with concern but Mikan just gave him a smile.

"Don't worry, Sir. I don't need to go to the hospital. I'm fine now, thank you." she said.

"But--" the guard started but was immediately cut off.

"Please don't worry. I'm not hurt or anything. These cuts and scratches were nothing. Believe me." Mikan persist.

"But your left arm is bleeding..." the guard said again with concern.

Mikan gave him again a warm smile.

"I'm fine. This is nothing. I'm fine." she said as she started to walk away from the guard.

She headed towards her room. It's lunchtime after all so she knew no one would see her in that state for all of the students were on the canteen, taking their meals.

Finally, she reached her destination. She opened the door and entered her room. For she doesn't want to waste time, she quickly wore off the backpack with a few gadgets hanging on her back. She then reached to her pocket, took out a marble-sized stone, and placed it on top of her study table. Then, she began taking off her clothes as she went to her bathroom to take a quick shower. It's necessary, for she has to cleanse her wounds.

After 30 minutes, she finally went out of the bathroom with only a towel protecting her body from exposure. She then walked over to her closet and took out some clean clothes and a first-aid kit box. She tend to her wounds all by herself. After cleansing and bandaging her wounds, she quickly wore on her uniform.

"Great. I'm almost done." she said to herself while looking at her reflection on the mirror as she ties her hair into pigtails.

She then took the marble-sized stone, put it in her pocket, and off she went. She started, but she was not headed to the B Classroom; not yet. She still has some place to go first.

Finally she stopped walking as she stood in front of a black door with red lining designs.

She knocked on the door.

"Come in." she heard a man said.

She then opened the door and came in

"Mission's complete." she said to the masked man.

"Good. But even so, you look a little messed up." the masked man said teasingly.

Mikan twitched her eyebrows as she crossed her arms.

"Just shut up, Persona. I don't need your damn side comments." she said in an obviously pissed off manner.

"Your words hurt me, Miss Sakura. Don't you know how much worried I am when you're out there for that dangerous mission?" Persona said in a playful tone as he stared at Mikan with his bloody red eyes.

Mikan twitched her eyebrows more.

"Would you please cut those crappy talk of yours?! It's pissing me off." she said stiffly.

Persona gave out a smirk.

"Watch your words. You have no right to talk to me like that." he suddenly spoke in a very serious manner. "Okay, just give me the Alice stone now." he ordered with such authority.

Without any word, Mikan took out the Alice stone from her pocket and was about to hand it to Persona when she suddenly felt a sharp pain on her left arm causing her to hold it with her right hand.

"You hurt?" Persona asked.

Mikan shook her head as she remove her hand from her arm.

"No. It's nothing." she denied. She have no intentions of telling him. She doesn't want him to know. And besides, her wound was hidden by her uniform so there's definitely no way anyone could see it.

Persona then took the alice stone from her hands.

"Blue, huh? Nice color." he said as he stared at the said stone. "Go back to your class now. Just wait for further instructions." he ordered to Mikan.

"Hai." Mikan replied as she started to walk towards the door. And when she was about to open the door and leave his room, she heard him suddenly say:

"I'm glad you returned here, Mikan..."

Her eyes widened in shock with what she had just heard. It felt... different. Very different.

With a lot of thoughts clouding her mind, she left his room.

Lost in her thoughts, she found herself thinking about those last words of his. How come it felt so different? How come he felt so different? It's as if those words have some kind of meaning. A very different one.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that she was taking the wrong direction. Her direction was not heading to the B Classroom; It was heading towards the Sakura tree.

She was walking, walking and walking until she finally realized where she was heading.

"H-Huh? Why am I heading towards our tree?" she asked herself in confusion. "Oh well, maybe I should rest for a minute when I get there. I'm tired anyways." she said to herself.

She continued walking towards the tree but suddenly stopped when she saw from afar that someone was resting under its shades. A raiven-haired man. The man was sitting quietly while leaning his back to its trunk, reading a manga.

'Just like the old days...' Mikan thought.

Instead of going there, she decided to just watch the raiven-haired man from her position. It's been a while since she last saw him there, under its cool shades. It feels very nostalgic.

She then felt her heart engulfed with joy. For she was enjoying watching him. She can't deny that. The more she enjoys, the more her sinful feeling deepens. Yes, the sinful feeling of longing for him; for his warmth... for his touch...

If only she could touch him again... If only she could embrace him again... If only she could kiss him again... But everything seems impossible now. Everything seems so hopeless.

Her thoughts were suddenly cut off when she saw a girl running toward the raiven-haired man. A girl she knew a lot. Upon seeing the girl, the man closed his manga and stood up. And to Mikan's horror, the girl suddenly hugged the man. The next thing she saw, Mikan couldn't take it anymore. The girl was... kissing the man.

Mikan's heart sank deeply as another sinful feeling arose within her. The sinful feeling of envy... The sinful feeling of jealousy.

Then, she saw the man and the girl heading towards her direction. She began to panic. She wanted to hide, for she doesn't want them to see her, but for some reason, her legs and feet won't move. She tried to move again, but it was no use. Her legs and feet really won't move. She tried again, but it's too late.

"Hello there, Sakura-san." the girl suddenly spoke with a fake smile on her face.

Mikan was shocked to see that those two were already in front of her. But even so, she tried to remain calm.

"H-Hello," she replied with such uneasiness as she looked at them.

The man looked at her in return but with cold, emotionless eyes.

Her eyes began to feel sore again. She couldn't take it. She couldn't take looking at his angry eyes, knowing that she was the reason for his pain, suffering, and grudge. With such guilt arising from her heart, she looked down.

The girl smirked. "Why are you looking down, Sakura-san?" And besides, what're you doing there standing like an idiot?" she asked in a very insulting manner.

Mikan doesn't know what to say. She have no intentions of telling the truth that she was watching the raiven-haired man a little while ago. She searched her brain for some other reason and when she was about to tell them some lies, the man suddenly spoke.

"Stop it. We're leaving now." he said coldly.

The girl twitched her eyebrows.

"We're leaving already? But you haven't introduced me yet!" she said as she looked at Mikan with her wicked eyes. "I know you already know me but still, I would like to introduce myself. I'm Luna; Natsume's new girlfriend."

With that, the world shattered like broken glasses and disappeared.

Mikan's world fell apart as she felt thousands of needles pricking her fragile heart. She was shocked; stunned; astounded; She felt again a sharp pain on her chest, but this time, it was even more painful. Her wounds were nothing to this pain. It hurts... Nothing can be compared to this pain.

She then clenched her fists as she forced herself to smile.

"R-Really? Well, Congratulations to the two of you!" she said as if it wasn't much of a big deal. She mustn't let Natsume know that she was hurt. She mustn't let him know that she still love him. Even if it means more pain, she mustn't let him know.

"ummm... I'm a little busy, you know. So I guess I'll go ahead now." she said, still having her painful smile. "Well then, Bye!" she bade goodbye as she ran away from the two.

As she ran, she kept saying these 4 words in her mind.

'I must not cry. I must not cry. I must not cry!' she's desperately trying to stop her tears from falling.

"It's much better this way. Now Natsume can finally find happiness." she said to herself as she ran, ran, and ran. "It's good that he finally found himself a girlfriend. It's good that he found someone new. It's good that he won't be hurt anymore by someone unworthy like me. It's good that he doesn't love me anymore!" she said again to herself as she felt her tears rolling down on her cheeks.

'What the... Why am I crying?! I should not cry! Things were much better this way! I-I should feel happy for them!' she said inside her mind, still trying to stop herself from crying.

Finally, she stood in front of the B Classroom's door. Panting heavily, she took a deep breath and wiped the tears that scattered all over her face.

'Stop crying!' she ordered to herself as she took again a deep breath.

She then slid the door open.

to be continued...

A/N: Thanks for reading! Review please.

Lovelots,

-Eurice-