Chapter 2
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EPOV
I was leaning up against the glass wall that covered the whole second side of the house. So much like the house in Forks. I was thinking of the last twenty years without her.
I remembered something Alice once said to Bella, "Do you want us to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?" Oh how right she had been. It pained me to know what I was putting my family through, and even though they loved her too, they would never understand how I was truly feeling.
We had moved to New York not long ago, it was a bit of an adjustment, and in my current state I was surprised my family agreed for me to go back to school.
I was the most wanted boy at our current school in New York.
And the most feared as well, mainly because of the way I looked.
I heard their thoughts, I knew what the girls thought of me. Muscular, bronze hair, tall, black eyes, always black it seemed to everyone. I was unlike my other two siblings, Jasper and Alice. We always kept to ourselves, all three of us Cullens.
But since that the news of the death of my girlfriend from my home town. I'd been sitting alone in the cafeteria, staring out of the small window next to the table.
I walked over to my complex stereo system, looking at the knob Bella had broke off the last day I had seen her. I reached up and picked up a CD Bella had always listened to, a mix. I popped the CD into the player and sat down on the black leather sofa. Where we laid the first time she met Carlisle and Esme and the rest of my family. I punched the number five on the CD remote. Seether and Amy-Lee blasted from the speakers.
Broken! That's how I felt.
I
wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high
and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it
serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause
I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're
gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore.
I closed my eyes and listened to the song Bella had loved so much.
The
worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high,
you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one
left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause
I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong
enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel
right when you're gone away
'Cause
I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're
gone away
You've
gone away
You don't feel me here anymore.
I opened his eyes as the rain outside the window slowed. I stared at the many pictures occupying my coffee table.
Us in our field.
Us at her birthday party.
Us driving to Seattle.
Bella's graduation picture.
Bella and Alice.
Bella.
I heard a car pull into the drive way, knowing if my family heard me moping around they'd all come up and make me feel worse about myself. Worse for not staying with her, when it was clearly what we all had wanted. They had trusted me to not let anything happen to her.
Now it was too late.