Part 2 - Foreign Languages and Herbalists Suck:

-The Magic Shop-

The urge to beat this kid to death with one of his new age hippie books has slowly made the jump from amusing stray thought to serious consideration. I suppose it isn't entirely his fault, I was pretty annoyed before I even got here. I had to drag myself out of bed during the day and hug the shadows to get here before closing time. I could have waited for sunset, but then I'd have been that guy that shows up just before close demanding service. They go to the special Hell.

I'm fairly certain that I'd have snapped and eaten him already if I hadn't found the remnants of William's stash of blood bank packets in the fridge from when he was allegedly crippled. Drinking cold blood was like drinking warm lemonade, and without enough sugar too, but they sated the gnawing hunger that had pulled me out of my nap before the sun had finished buggering off.

I think something of my thoughts must have leaked into my expression because the sales clerk guy finally admits to the owner keeping the less touristy books in the side room. "Thank you," Ginkgo Biloba indeed!

Of course, now I've traded a man with far too much enthusiasm for herbs and homeopathy for a room full of books that aren't in English. Most don't even seem to use the same alphabet. The sales kid, who is probably "older" than me if my new license is to be believed, doesn't follow me. I guess I can't fault his survival instincts for that decision. I look around with a grimace, once again lamenting Google's failure to properly exist yet, and start looking through the titles for something that sounds like memory, carefully avoiding the beam of sunlight coming through the back window.

I'm halfway around the room, having made zero progress, when a blond girl walks in. She looks familiar. "I don't suppose you can read... uh... whatever this is," I gesture towards the book either titled or written by whatever "الشعلة الحية" means. She laughs, but whether it's at my general helplessness or if the book title is something embarrassing I can't say. "Yeah, I may have been a bit hasty chasing off the sales guy, but I couldn't handle any more of his homeopathic... huh, it occurs to me now that if this stuff works there may actually be something to the Ginkgo Biloba stuff he was pushing."

"Ginkgo Biloba? Having trouble with... memory?" She scrunches up her nose in thought on the last part. "Oh! I'm Amy by the way." A familiar looking blonde named Amy. I wonder...

"Jack," I nod and smile at her in lieu of risking initiating a handshake, "and yes. Well, I mean, my memory is working the way it's supposed to, but I'm hoping to find a way to dredge up the details on something from a decade ago." Looking pointedly around the room, "Allegedly there's a spell in here somewhere for forgetting things. Hopefully the reverse is also true? And not like hypnosis where my brain just plays mix and match with details to make something plausible up either." The devil is in those details after all when it comes to testing the validity of my 'memories' from the show.

"Hmmm..." she's tapping her finger against her chin and looking around the room, "Something you saw?"

"Yeah, or at least it was on TV and I saw it on the screen if that matters."

"Maybe... Well, let's take a look, I'm getting pretty good at the Latin and Greek stuff... but you might have to ask Mr. Velissaropoulos or Mr. Giles if you want to know what language... that... is." She points at the book I'd indicated earlier.

"God sneeze you, and who?" I only have to fake half of my confusion this time.

"Huh? Oh! Mr. Velissaropoulos owns the store. He's Greek, I think? He's usually only here on Wednesdays and Thursdays though, most of the time he's out finding stuff. Mr. Giles is the librarian at school, he knows a ton of languages, and some of the books on his desk make that one look normal." Her smile turns sheepish, "err... And I'd avoid trying to read any of them out loud."

I laugh, recalling Xander igniting a book that way, "Yeah... I learned that lesson too. Unfortunately." I hold up my hand which still looks a tad singed from where it clipped a bit of sunshine when I wasn't paying enough attention. Worst. Sunburn. Ever. "Oops?"

My mood improves as steadily as the sun sets while we search. Before I know it Mr. Biloba is telling us they're getting ready to close. Amy suddenly looks nervous; glancing out the window shows the last few rays of sunlight dwindling down. Ah. Makes sense, the girl that can do actual magic would be aware of what comes out after dark in this town. "Something wrong, Amy?"

"It's just later than I thought." She looks at me, then out the window again. "My mom has some books on this stuff back home. One of them should have the spell she cast on me to help with studying for school, might be something helpful in there."

I grin back at her, "Sounds great." I think she just drafted a vampire to walk her home as added protection against... meeting a vampire on her way home. I stifle a giggle, "Shall I walk you home?" This much fun simply can't be healthy.

-Madison Residence-

Apparently being spooked by a loud noise and then telling me to hurry up while gesturing at the doorway constitutes an invitation? That or agreeing to have me over to look through her mother's books back at the shop does. Either way the doorway fails to bounce me back out of the Madison residence. If I wasn't sure which Amy I was talking to back at the shop, the nameplate on the mailbox cleared that up.

Once we find and page through the book she mentioned, she seems far too eager to try out the spell that sounds most promising. When asked about it she just grins, asks me, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a willing magical guinea pig?" and then laughs.

I glare at that. But what the hell, this is literally what I spent all afternoon looking for, and my only other option I can think of is trying to con Willow into casting it. Not that conning season 2-3 Willow would be hard, but I'd really rather not put myself on the radar of Team Scooby.

We go over the ritual instructions and the notes scrawled in the margins in English. Hmmm, looks like committing Grand Theft Body was not Catherine's plan A for reliving her glory days. That she then went that route... Not sure how much to read into that. I re-read one of the lines again to make sure, "oh for fucks sake, seriously?"

"What?"

"Read the ingredients list on the concoction I have to drink. I think the universe is mocking me," I grumble, while contemplating going back and eating the sales guy.

"... Ginkgo Biloba!" at least one of us is amused. Unfortunately it's Amy. I glare at her.

-One Spell Cast Later-

Magic, as it turns out, is finicky. I expected that. It's also fucking vindictive. Which I did not expect but I really should have.

I sit in a salt circle while Amy chants words in what sounds like Latin.

I drink a bizarre concoction of things including a bit of my blood and a fair bit of that herb which shall no longer be spoken of.

I continue to sit, Amy continues to chant. I focus on what I can remember of the show, and the parts I most want to remember. Lindsey's tattoos, the Gem of Amarra, and that Glove of M-guy with the lightning bolts. Also, anything with Amy herself in it just for good measure.

The spell works, I think, but not exactly as advertised.

Amy said that the spell her mom cast to help her with studying made her head tingle and then suddenly she could remember what the teacher had gone over in class better.

I don't know if reaching back over a decade was simply an order of magnitude greater than this year's syllabus, or if the spell was meant for humans and I only partially qualify. Hell, for all I know the Powers that live to screw with mortals just thought it'd be fucking hilarious. Whatever the cause, the result was that my world dissolved into pain, pain, and more pain. My mind felt like it was on fire as the images and scenes I sought out seared themselves into my brain. I get the distinct impression that forgetting the details is no longer an option.

It may have been a few seconds later, or an hour. I'd never know. But when I came to, Amy was pressed back against the wall staring at me with wide eyes, and the room reeked of her fear.

"Iguh-" cough "It worked." my throat hurts and my voice sounds strange, I assume from screaming obscenities at the universe, or possibly just screaming incoherently in pain. I try to smile reassuringly at her.

She doesn't look reassured. "Please don't eat me," she squeaks out.

"...Why would I... I'm in game face aren't I?" she nods. Mother Fucker! I focus on pulling in my fangs, "I'm not going to eat you."

"But you're a vampire." She stutters a little on that last word. I see we've reached the stating the obvious phase of this discussion.

"...and you're a witch. So what? Glass Houses, Amy." Awesome, now she looks annoyed too. I can't decide is that's an improvement.

"Vampires eat people... I'm People!" That last bit going back into panicked tones.

"I never said I don't eat people. I said I'm not going to eat you." At her confused expression I elaborate, using my best Amy Madison impression, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a willing witch to cast spells for me?" And she's annoyed again, abracadabra. I tilt my head to the side, "If it helps, I can also refrain from eating your dad?"

"And what happens when I'm done casting magic for you?" she sounds suspicious but now I'm just confused.

"I pay you for your time?" Her expression turns confused, which just confuses me more. What part of this doesn't she understand? "Witches do need money for food and stuff right?"

"Wait, you want to pay me to cast magic for you, and you don't want to eat me?" She sounds surprised. Why is this such a difficult concept?

"...Yes? Is there some better way of keeping a witch on retainer that I'm not aware of? I have been speaking English for the past couple of minutes, right?" I pull out the hundred odd bucks I'd looted over course of last night. "You do magic, I pay you. I refrain from eating you, you refrain from lighting me on fire. Deal?" Clearly she expected me to only need one spell cast and then a snack or something. Are vampires really supposed to be that shortsighted? Don't answer that.

"You're going to eat other people?"

"Well duh, I gotta eat. Why? You wanna watch?"

"Yuck! No! Gross! I want you to not eat people!" I'm beginning to wonder if her mother's magic had... side effects on this girl. She seems to lack the expected level of enthusiasm for that last statement.

I wonder if this is how William felt whenever he was babysitting Dawn. I raise an eyebrow and stare at Amy, "feeling better now that you've pretended to care about your fellow mortals?"

I wait.

"...Yeah," she does that incredibly put upon sign that only teenage girls can ever manage to get just right, "screw it. We have a deal. Give me the money. No eating me or my dad. Call me when you want another spell cast." Ha! There's the beginning of the psychotic dark magic addict I remember. I make a mental note to send a thank you to Rack for deleting that pesky caring nature out of my new toy.

...

Make that; a thank you note written out and mailed by... someone else, someone who has no connection to me, and packed full of high explosives and silver ball bearings. What? Even as a human I hated sharing my toys. Besides, I need Amy to be insensitive to the plight of her fellow mortal, not outright self destructive. Friendly fire is most decidedly not friendly.

I sum all my feelings up on the topic, "Cool," and hand her the money. "Now, up you get. Let's have a look at you. What? You just cast a memory affecting spell on me. If you look different than I remember you looking at the store we have a problem." She stands up and fidgets while I give her a blatant once over. She looks almost exactly like she should. The key word there is almost. Her actress was clearly older than her role. The Amy in front of me is actually... 17? But she looks exactly like I'd expect a 17 year old version of her actress to look... and also the same as when we met at the store. I was lying about my reasons, but it was still a good idea to check. "Awesome, we're good." I leave it at that, she's cute, but not so much that I want to risk waking up on fire.

Amy seems to want me out of her house for some reason. I roll my eyes as she does everything but shoo me out the door, only to grab my arm before I can actually leave. "Jack, about our deal? If you run into my mom, eat first, questions later. Okay?" I laugh at her phrasing.

"Obviously." She looks at me funny but doesn't ask, so I just smile and don't elaborate before sauntering off. The night is young, and I have important memories to test. I love magic.