Okay, okay, don't get comfortable, I'm only uploading this because I'll be busy for the next few days. Also, I'm trying to have a buffer, and I'm running out of done chapters, so I'll be working on that. The next update probably won't happen until the weekend.

WARNING: The suicide attempt continues in this scene, but it isn't graphic.

Enjoy!

Steve whipped around and onto his feet at the sound of Ponyboy's voice, the gun still against his temple. His hand was shaking. Ponyboy took a step forward, but Steve shook his head.

"Don't come any closer!" he screamed.

Ponyboy swallowed. "Steve, wh-where did you get that?"

"From Buck." Steve growled. "Dumbass handed it right over, no questions asked."

"Steve, please. Don't do this."

"They were right, you know." Steve said, voice shaking. "I shoulda died in the war. N-Not cause of the reason they think, but… I shoulda died."

"Steve, no-"

"I should have!" he spit. "Soda shoulda came home! Not me! Soda should have never been in the war…" Steve's hand was shaking, his finger to close to the trigger for comfort. "I was there, you know. The day he died. We-We were in the same platoon. We were crossing enemy lines, a-and a bomb went off."

"Steve, you don't have to-"

"You said I should talk, didn't you?" Steve snapped. "Well, I'm talking! I was the only survivor. I was far enough away that the blast only threw me! I-I… I had burns everywhere. It hurt. I couldn't talk. I can't remember… I got taken to a hospital. I asked about him. About Soda. They told me… they told me they couldn't find any other survivors in the mess." Steve began to sob. "I shoulda died with Soda that day. I didn't deserve to live, and I knew that when they drafted me. I can't sleep anymore. I always see them. The bodies. I saw them, the pieces of them. I should have been a part of that." Steve's finger closed around the trigger. "I should have died…"

Ponyboy wasn't sure what took over him. He darted forward, tackling Steve. A gunshot rang out. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting.

Nothing happened.

Ponyboy opened his eyes. Steve was underneath him, shaking with sobs. The gun was still in his hand. Ponyboy snatched it away, tossing it far.

"What the hell, Steve!" He found himself screaming. "What the hell were you thinking? Do you know how much this would hurt Two-Bit and Darry?"

"I-I-"

"We all miss Soda, Steve! But killing yourself won't bring him back! You think he wants this for you? For any of us? If he was here, he'd be kicking your ass!" Ponyboy was crying now, his tears dripping onto Steve's face. "We lost too many people, already, we can't lose you, too."

"Y'all don't need me." Steve whimpered.

"Like hell we don't. You weren't just Soda's best friend, you're our friend, too! We spent every day praying you and Soda made it home alive. We care about you, Steve. Please, don't…" Ponyboy couldn't speak anymore. He rolled off Steve, but Steve clung to his sleeve, sobbing into it. Ponyboy let him, fighting off tears of his own.

Eventually, he managed to coax Steve to his feet, and they made their way back to Buck's. Two-Bit was standing by the truck, and his eyes widened in alarm when he saw his friends.

"Ponyboy-"

"Get in the truck."

"But-"

"Get in the damn truck, Two-Bit!"

Two-Bit blinked at him for a moment before slinking over to the truck. Hot tears were stinging Ponyboy's eyes again, and he furiously wiped them away, dragging Steve along to the truck. Steve was still shaking, still crying, though quietly. Ponyboy let go of him, stalking to the driver side and sliding in. He gripped the wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white. He pulled off as soon as both boys were inside.

The truck had barely stopped in front of the house before Steve stumbled out, vomiting in the grass. Ponyboy and Two-Bit were by his side in minutes, but Steve waved them off.

" 'M fine." he grunted, coughing, and if he wasn't already a wreck, Ponyboy would have chewed him out. The porch light came on, and Darry came running out. He took one look at the scene and jumped into parent mode.

"Keith, go in the house and get you and Steve a glass of water. Ponyboy, help me get Steve to the bathroom."

Ponyboy knew Darry was perfectly capable on his own, but he didn't argue, taking up a position on Steve's other side. They led the intoxicated man into the house and down the short hall, depositing him in the bathroom just in time for him to vomit again.

"I'm sorry." Steve slurred once he could speak again. Tears were running down his face, vomit clinging to his shirt. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Ponyboy had never seen Steve so hopeless. This Steve Randle was nothing like the one that had left them - cocky, full of rage, and always ready for a rumble. This Steve Randle was exhausted. There was no more fight left in him. Ponyboy's heart broke, and he could tell Darry was in the same position.

But he was prepared for this. Ever since his brother had been drafted, Ponyboy had done his research on the effects of war on people, had practically trained himself to be a counselor for war veterans, all in hopes that he could help him brother when he came back from the war.

Sodapop wasn't coming back - but Steve was here.

Ponyboy sat next to Steve on the ground, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You're sick." He murmured, voice shaking. "You're sick, and it ain't your fault."

Steve stared at him, brows scrunched up. "Then who?"

"The same bastards who made you fight in a war you didn't start. The same bastards who got my brother killed." Ponyboy was crying again. "I read some books, you know? About stress and stuff from wars and how to deal with it. I can help you, and Darry can help you. Please, Steve."

"Why would you help me?" Steve mumbled.

"How many times do I have to say it for you to get it through your thick head? You're my friend. You may not have liked me hanging around so much, but I never hated you, Steve. And we're all we got left to keep Soda's memory alive, and we can't do that if we're fighting, can we?"

There was movement in the doorway, and they all looked up to see Two-Bit there, holding a glass of water, his eyes shiny with tears. He silently hand the glass to Darry before disappearing.

"Go get Two-Bit settled." Pony said to his brother. "I got Steve." When Darry hesitated, he said, "it was a bad night, Dar. Two-Bit really needs you. I'll come out in a minute."

Darry nodded, and stood. "If you need me, just holler." He left the glass on the counter, and Ponyboy helped Steve out of his shirt, tossing it into the tub. He grabbed a face towel from the cabinet and wet it, letting Steve wipe his face before he gave him the glass of water. Steve was able to drink half before he refused to drink anymore. Putting the glass down, Ponyboy helped Steve up, leading him to the spare room. He couldn't bring him into his room yet; it was too much for both of them right now. He let go of Steve, and the man dropped onto the bed.

"You got a blade, Steve?"

Steve nodded, eyes hollow.

"Give it to me."

Steve reached into his back pocket, handing the knife to Ponyboy without looking. Ponyboy gripped it tightly, grabbed his own blade from the bedside table, and left the room without a word.

Two-Bit and Darry were sitting on the couch, and they looked up when Ponyboy entered. Ponyboy managed to sit in the armchair before he broke down.

"Ponyboy!" both boys rushed over. "Ponyboy, what happened?"

Ponyboy looked into Two-Bit's eyes. "Steve…" he relayed the story as quietly as possible, leaving out the more gruesome details. Two-Bit and Darry turned paler and paler, and Two-Bit looked ready to be sick.

"Oh God." he moaned, eyes welling with tears. "I didn't- I didn't know, Pony, I'm sorry."

Ponyboy shook his head. "It ain't your fault, Two-Bit. We just - just gotta be there for him." He held the blades out to Darry. "I'm gonna stay with him. I need you guys to round up all the sharp stuff and put it away."

"Yeah, okay little buddy. You go stay with him, try and get some rest." Ponyboy stood up and Darry pulled him into a hug. Two-Bit joined on the other side. "You did good, kid." Darry murmured into his brother's hair, voice wet. He gave Ponyboy a pat on the back before letting him go.

Ponyboy went back into the spare room, closing the door. Steve was still sitting on the edge of the bed, but he moved over when Ponyboy got in. Ponyboy turned off the light, and they both lay down, pulling the blankets up. Steve was still shaking, and Ponyboy put an arm around him, pulling him close.

"Ponyboy?" Steve whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime. Now go to sleep. And don't be afraid to wake me up if you need me."

Steve nodded slowly, and after a while, he heard Steve's breath slow, felt his body relax. Unfortunately, he couldn't do the same. The image of Steve holding the gun to his head was burned into his eyelids, the sound of the gunshot still ringing in his ears. Nothing good waited for him in his dreams, so he held on tight to Steve, staring into the darkness.

He wasn't sure how long he lay there, listening to Steve breathe, before he became restless. Gently extricating himself from Steve's hold, he padded into the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water and sitting at the table. His eyes burned, and he rubbed them, knowing he couldn't avoid sleep forever. He was just going to get up and go back to the room when someone walked in.

Two-Bit yawned, stretching, but froze when he noticed Ponyboy sitting at the table.

"Hey, Pony…"

"Hey." Ponyboy looked Two-Bit up and down. He was wearing one of Darry's shirts, a T-shirt two sizes too big, and shorts. Ponyboy suppressed a smirk at Two-Bit's obvious uncomfort. The older boy didn't say anything, just went to get his own glass of water before sitting down.

"Couldn't sleep?" Two-Bit asked.

Ponyboy shook his head.

"How's Steve?"

"Sleeping, for now. I don't want him to be alone for too long."

Two-Bit nodded, and Ponyboy couldn't keep his curiosity in check any longer.

"So how long have you and Darry been going at it?"

Two-Bit choked on a sip of water, and Ponyboy waited for him to catch his breath. "What do you mean?" Two-Bit said, but Ponyboy could already see the defeat in his eyes.

"I caught you guys making out in his room earlier. And you're wearing his shirt. You don't have to hide it from me, Two-Bit."

Two-Bit's mouth hung open, and Ponyboy waited for him to speak. Finally, Two-Bit sank down in his chair. "You ain't ashamed of us, is you?"

"What? Why would I be?"

"Because it ain't right." Two-Bit sounded miserable. "I loved him so long, Ponyboy, but I was so scared. Boys ain't supposed to love boys." He took a sip from his glass. "After Johnny and Dally died, I realized that life was too short to be scared. I got drunk and kissed him, and I thought he would beat the tar outta me, but he just helped me onto the couch like always. We didn't talk about it, and nothing really happened, not till… Soda. Then you and Darry were a wreck, and he said I wouldn't want somebody as broken as him. It made me so mad. We fought… Then we weren't fighting. That was the night you came home and we were bruised and bandaged. You were so upset, I felt so bad. But we been together ever since."

Since Soda's death. Ponyboy was amazed they were able to keep it a secret that long.

"Darry says if you don't approve, we have to end it." Two-Bit whispered. "We were supposed to talk to you about it tomorrow, but I guess now's a good a time as any." His eyes were so serious, Ponyboy was vaguely frightened. "If you don't want us together, tell me. We been pals your whole life, and I never want to hurt you. So, please… tell me."

"Two-Bit," Ponyboy's throat felt raw. "Two-Bit, of course I want you and Darry to stay together."

"Really?"

"Yeah. After everything we been through, you deserve each other." Ponyboy sniffed. "Boys can love boys if they want to, man, it ain't never hurt anybody."

"Sounds like you would know."

Ponyboy didn't answer.

"It's alright, Ponyboy, you can tell me."

"Johnny and I were fooling around."

Two-Bit choked. "What?"

"We weren't anything serious, but I loved him and he loved me. He loved Dallas, too, but I didn't mind it. He never let me feel left behind. Dally knew we were fooling around, fooled around with us, told us to be careful." Tears were pouring down Ponyboy's face. "I miss 'em both every day, but I don't regret being with 'em. We're greasers, Two. There's a real good chance that even I won't make it out of here. But we still deserve to be happy, ya know? You and Darry need to be together."

Two-Bit was crying now, silent tears running down his face. He got up, pulling Ponyboy into a tight hug. Pony squeezed him back just as hard.

"You're gonna get out of here, Ponyboy. Don't ever say otherwise. Everyone believes in you, and you need to keep believing in yourself."

"I don't wanna leave you guys behind."

"You won't. I know you. You couldn't leave us behind even if you wanted. But you gotta get out here, okay?"

"Okay."

They hugged for a bit longer, just enjoying the closeness they'd lost over the years. Ponyboy missed the physical affection he'd received from the gang, no matter how rough. Two-Bit probably felt the same, though he'd never say so.

When they parted, Ponyboy smiled. "Go on back to Darry. He's probably missing you."

Two-Bit snorted, smiling a little before turning serious again. "You gonna be okay kid? If you need me to watch Steve I can do it."

Ponyboy shook his head. "Nah, it's alright. I think… I think he needs me. I'm not Soda, but obviously I'm good enough for him."

"Don't hurt yourself trying to help him, Ponyboy. I saw how you looked when you brought us back here - I thought you were gonna break down."

"I was scared." Ponyboy admitted. "You didn't see him, Two-Bit. He was gonna end it. If I hadn't gotten there in time…" Ponyboy blinked hard, dispelling the tears that threatened to fall.

"Damn. I'm sorry Ponyboy. I shouldn't have taken him out, I-"

"Ain't your fault, Two-Bit. Don't start blaming yourself."

Two-Bit looked like he wanted to say more, but just shook his head. "Okay. Good night, Pony."

"Night." Ponyboy put his glass in the sink and went back to the room. Steve was shaking, the covers kicked off. He flipped over, groping blindly at the bed. Pony slid in beside him, grabbing his hands.

"Soda?" Steve mumbled.

"Not Soda. Ponyboy."

"Oh." Steve sniffled. "Sorry."

" S'ok, go back to sleep. I'll be here."

"Okay." Steve was quiet for a moment. "Pony?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a pretty good guy."

"Thanks. Now go to sleep."

Steve rolled over, burying his face in Ponyboy's shoulder, and vaguely, as he was falling asleep, Pony wondered if Steve had a funny feeling in his chest, too.

Awww, cute! Poor Steve, he's going through it. Hopefully the Curtis brothers and Two-Bit can help him. Don't forget to review my loves!