Suggested Listening: 'Houdini' - Foster the People

Feel It in My Bones

~ Houdini ~

It was only a matter of time before Wedy gave up on me entirely. She moved onto dancing with L (I'm proud to say that at least I have better rhythm than our dearest resident panda), and I retreated to the safety of my seat. Half an hour had passed since I had last seen Mello and Halle.

They still weren't back yet.

… I honestly didn't know how I felt about this.

As I did with most emotions I couldn't understand, I placated myself with another cigarette. Wedy wouldn't mind; she was too busy teaching L to dance. He was proving to be a fast learner.

A short time later, a beer had managed to find its way into my hands. I felt a tad better.

Self-medicating, some may call it – but I prefer, "administering a dose of much-needed sanity." Or would insanity be more appropriate?

It really didn't matter to me anymore.

Songs changed, people danced, and at some point a heavily intoxicated blond emerged from the house and made his staggering way across the patio towards me. My cigarette was plucked from my fingers and stubbed out, my drink was placed on another chair, and my lap became a seat – all before I could blink.

I looked down at the blond wiggling around on my lap, trying his best to get comfortable before finally settling on laying across me with his legs hanging over the armrest. Blue, glassy eyes peered up at me from under heavy bangs, and he huffed.

"I don' like it when you smoke," he slurred.

I couldn't help but smile at how adorable he was being – although I would never admit to having had that thought.

"Why not?" I asked, honestly wanting to hear his answer.

"'Makes you smell funny."

I chuckled. "You smell me, do you?"

He huffed once more, his bangs lifting for a moment with the rush of air.

"D' not… Your room smells funny like that sometimes, too. It's gross."

"I'm sorry," I told him. And I was – not for the way it made me smell, but that he didn't like it. I knew it was a bad habit, and also that I'd be better off without it. My self-medicating session from only fifteen minutes ago was proof of this.

We went quiet after that. The silence between us was comfortable. That's what I like about Mello; he's loud, and temperamental, and vivacious, and he tends to jump into things without thinking more often than not – but then there are times when he's contemplative, and compassionate, and caring, and fiercely, shockingly bright.

He is… amazing, to say the least.

The street lamps began to flicker on as the last third of the sun's rays bled below the horizon. A breeze went up and I felt Mello shiver against me.

"What happened to your coat?" I asked, to which he responded with a shrug.

I could only hope that it had somehow ended up being hung up in the closet. Mello had an odd sort of attachment to his long, red leather jacket, and I knew that if something had happened to it, I would be the one who was blamed.

Seeing as I was completely comfortable at the moment and he was freezing his ass off, I slid out of my own jacket and placed it around his shoulders. His shivering stopped immediately and he settled down once more. Yet another good deed accomplished by Matt the Good Samaritan…

Another silence stretched out between us after that. I became aware of the neighbours' dogs howling off in the distance, the way the light from L's kitchen spilled out onto the patio as the natural light outside began to wane, our friends having a blast as they danced with youthful fervour – and especially how Mello's dilated pupils took all this in as if he'd never seen something so fantastic in his life.

And at that moment, I pulled myself away from my appreciation of the night, and began to wonder just exactly what he was on.

"Hey, Mells." Insert grunt from said chocoholic. "Where did you go earlier?"

He hummed, his lips curling into a smile. "Why? Did'ja miss me?"

"No. I'm wondering, 'cause when you went inside you weren't drunk, and now you're practically plastered. Unless you suddenly can't hold your liquor after only one beer – which I doubt – you must have thrown back a shit tonne of booze somewhere between points A and B."

"Me and 'alle did shots in the bathroom," he responded with a yawn, after which he rested his head against my chest.

I shook my head. Trust Mello to find some way to do something completely stupid in any given situation…Though I had to admit, it was a lot better than what I had thought they went off to do.

Psh… Yeah. 'Like that would ever happen…

I hope.

But there was something missing in all of this, something we had forgotten…

"Where is Halle?" a voice spoke up beside me.

"Stuff it, Q-tip." Mello scowled, turning his head to look at the teenager sitting on the ground next to us. "I was just about to fall asleep."

Near's lips twitched into a small half-smile, and he brought up a hand to tangle in his hair. "My apologies, Mello. I realize now that the matter that I have brought to your attention is trivial in comparison to the prospect of you getting a good night's rest."

"Damn straight it is," Mello replied before returning to his earlier resting position, content as can be.

"As neither of you can be bothered to answer my question, I suppose I shall have to find out for myself." Near held me with his gaze as he said this – his look conveying much more than his words could – before he got up and shuffled off towards the house.

I sighed. Looks like Matt the Good Samaritan has one last good deed to do before the night is through…

I moved my shoulder slightly, shaking Mello in the process. "Hey, Mells. Wakey, wakey…"

"Fuck off, Matt…" he grumbled, hiding his face in my chest.

Rolling my eyes, I persisted in shaking him. "I have to get up."

"If you need to piss, fucking hold it. I'm sleeping."

… That was the conclusion he jumped to?

"No, it has nothing to do with that… I'm gonna go help Near find Halle."

A snort sounded from the blond strewn across my lap as he cracked an eye open to look at me. "I thought we already went over that. As Near said, it's a trivial issue and whatnot. Look, you can go and look for her if you want, but five bucks says she's chilling out somewhere still getting high."

I blinked. So they had done drugs… That explained so much.

It took quite a bit of wiggling around, but finally I managed to get out of the chair without removing Mello from it. Looking around, I saw there was still no sign of the platinum-blonde girl anywhere – and believe me, she was hard to miss. Seeing as it was the only option presented to me left to take, I went into the house to find Near and see if he had found her yet.

As I entered the kitchen, it occurred to me that if I looked in the bathroom, I might find Mello's jacket seeing as that was the last place he had been with it still on his person. The first thing I noticed upon walking into the bathroom was – of course – the heavy smell of marijuana. Unfortunately, besides that, all that occupied the bathroom was what you would expect to find there along with – something you wouldn't expect – a half-empty bottle of tequila and shot glasses. Neither Halle, nor Mello's jacket were anywhere to be found.

I didn't have much luck anywhere else on the first story level either. I knew that there was no way that Halle could have made her way down to the basement as Watari had locked the door after having gone down there. Just as I was thinking of trying the upstairs, Near descended down the staircase.

"Any sign of her?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. If Near had found her, she would probably be following him right now as he walked towards me down the stairs.

I received a negative shake of the head, confirming what I had already suspected.

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Then where could she have gone?"

He gave me a shrug, twirling a lock of his hair between two fingertips. "Perhaps she went home."

"She couldn't have. I'm pretty sure her and Wedy came here together."

"You are right. She wouldn't leave her friend," he replied, nodding. "I will check again in case of the event that I had somehow missed her." And just like that he was ascending the staircase once more.

But still the suggestion nagged at me. What if she had went home? Maybe her and Wedy had arranged separate rides, or had merely gotten here at the same time, making it appear that they had come here together.

Well. The only way to tell was to check.

Stepping back into my shoes, I went out through the front door and started down the steps. The plan was to check if Halle's car was there; if it was, further search the property and even the surrounding neighbourhood, and if it wasn't – well, we'd just have to hope that Mello was the big drinker between the two of them, and hope that she'd make it home safe.

Rounding the corner, I noticed two things. One, Halle's car was parked in the driveway and two – I could not believe my eyes – Halle was strung out on the driveway, lying on Mello's coat while smoking a joint.

Damn. I owe Mello five bucks.

Shoes scuffing along the pavement, I made my way over and sat down Indian-style next to her. It took maybe three minutes of sitting there in silence beside her for her to acknowledge me.

She exhaled slowly, the smoke curling upwards into the night sky like wispy, translucent snakes. "Hey. What's shakin'?"

I shrugged, watching as she took another hit. "Not too much. Near and I came looking for you."

"Why?" she inquired, wrinkling her nose. "What difference is it to you if I'm there or not?"

She did have a point; she was Mello's friend, not mine. In truth, I barely even knew her despite hanging around with her quite a number of times.

"I don't know… 'Felt like it was the right thing to do, is all."

She nodded. "Thanks, I guess."

We went quiet. This silence was in distinct contrast from the ones I had shared with Mello; it was like an uncomfortable void that I felt an obligation to fill with needless conversation. The problem was… I honestly had nothing to say. I settled for lying down next to her, looking up to see exactly what she was staring at with such intent.

Stars – millions of them. Out here, the blanket of light pollution barely even reached, and the single light post several feet away from us was a mere firefly in comparison to the glowing, cosmic mass of incandescence.

"Makes you feel so small, doesn't it?" Halle spoke up, startling me.

I turned my head to see that she was looking at me now, suddenly appearing very serious.

"You don't get it, do you?" she asked, looking me right in the eye.

I quirked an eyebrow, confused as to what she was on about now. "I… I'm not sure I follow…"

She sat up, frowning. "You don't get it. You see it, but you don't really see it."

My gaze darted back to the sky before once more meeting her piercing gaze. "Are we still talking about the stars…? Or is this about something completely different?"

"You don't get it." She paused, before finally elaborating, "Mello doesn't like me – not like how he likes you."

I blinked. I had no idea what to say. Having about a million questions to ask but not being able to put them to words in my mind, I settled for blurting out a startled, "What?"

Halle sighed and stretched back out on the coat. We both fell silent once more, leaving my question unanswered.

I almost felt a strange sort of relief.

Some time later, Halle's joint burnt down and she discarded it before turning and cuddling into my side. I looked down at her just as she reached up to run a hand through my hair, a strange sort of awe shining in her cloudy eyes.

"Your hair's pretty," she admitted. "'Like a flame."

At almost any other time I would've felt embarrassed if someone had told me that, but seeing as she was under the influence, I let it slide.

I just added it to the list of things I wasn't going to question from this conversation.

Halle cuddled further into me as the wind picked up and I allowed it, too far into my thoughts to mind. I knew that at some point the music would die down and people would start to pile out into the driveway with the intention of going home – and that also meant eventually finding Mello.

But for now, the most I could do was lie out under the stars, picking out patterns and constellations while Halle slept soundly at my side, feeling smaller than I had for a very long time.