Sorry about the wait, chums. The internet and I had a bit of a fight. I would like to dedicate this chapter to
Soon, Sam, Dean, and Bones arrived at an apple orchard.
"Don't pick any of the apples," Sam warned. Dean gave him a strange look.
"When have you ever seen me eat an apple?" he asked. Sam was trying hard to think of a single instance of said event when he heard a small noise, something grating and metallic, but with a clearly defined word.
"Oil-"
Sam and Dean glanced at each other to confirm that neither had spoken. On a whim, Dean ducked under a nearby tree and could be heard making an exasperated sound. Sam followed him to find a frozen, silver-faced Castiel.
"Crap," muttered Sam. Dean had already found the oil can and was clicking it onto Castiel's face. The angel blinked slowly and worked his jaw.
"Oil," he repeated, this time in his usual, gruff voice.
"I'm working on it!" Dean said angrily.
"They had a holy oil barrier around the warehouse," Castiel continued, flexing the arm that Dean had just finished with.
"That's why I was late, but you should have waited," the angel said, anger flashing in his eyes (which were a whole new level of blue in this world.) "It was foolhardy to go into what you knew was an angelic ambush without me,"
"Makes no sense, right?" Dean said wryly. "I just did a whole number on it. But where the hell are we now, Cas? I'm really hoping that this is your doing."
"It is," Castiel confirmed. "I pulled us into the first parallel universe I found."
"And it wouldn't have anything to do with that Judy Garland movie marathon you watched last night, I'm sure," Sam said. Castiel became suddenly very interested in his feet. Dean stood up and tossed the oil can aside.
"It doesn't matter," Dean said impatiently. "We can go now."
He looked expectantly at Castiel. The angel avoided his gaze.
"Cas?" Dean said. Castiel rubbed his neck.
"We can go," he said slowly "as soon as I retrieve my grace."
Sam and Dean let out a unanimous groan.
"No grace?" Dean asked disbelievingly.
"No grace," Castiel repeated.
Music began to fill the orchard, and Dean gave Sam a knowing look.
Castiel didn't sing so much as speak the lyrics, with an especially bewildered expression on his metal face.
When an angel fills his vessel
He does not expect wrestle
With enochian displace
I'll zap back through dimensions
Flap my wings and start ascension
After I regain my grace
I'll reunite with all creation
And perhaps in celebration
We can finally hit sixth base
Castiel directed a metallic wink at Dean, who grinned in reply. Sam watched this exchange with horror.
I'll connect with my brethren
Plan a social trip to heaven,
After I regain my grace
Remember me- epiphanies
Above issue commands
(Deep voice from somewhere very high up)
Castiel, trust God's plan.
(Castiel)
I'd redesign fate...just great
To hear that angel static; complex and errratic,
Refill this empty space
Things will be back to normal
(Which for us, is paranormal)
After I regain my grace
The customary silence of a post-musical-number followed.
"Sixth base?" Sam asked weakly. "How long has-"
"Man, with angels it is a whole other ball park," Dean said, grinning. Castiel fixed a serious gaze on Sam.
"Shortly after the breaking of the last seal, your brother and I began to engage in regular se-"
"Cas, do you know where your grace is?" Sam asked hurriedly, in a loud voice. Castiel shook his head.
"There's no way to tell for certain, but I have a fairly good idea of its location," he said. Dean had plodded off to retrieve the oil can, which he figured they would need again before too long.
"If you're all lubed up, let's get on with it," Dean sighed, waving the can toward the road.
"Well this is turning out to be a heartwarming little journey," said a familiar voice. Sam, Dean, and Cas looked up. Crowly sat in a tree, smiling down at them.
"Oh, please don't let me interrupt you," he said, hopping to the ground and brushing off his suit. "You three have such a splendid natural stage presence, I wouldn't want to throw you off,"
Team free will, MGM model, glared at Crowly.
"I presume you're going to help your little moose go to find the wizard," Crowly continued, studying his nails in bored manner.
"You bet your British candy ass we are!" Dean replied angrily, pointing violently at the demon. Castiel nodded, looking severe.
"Grand," muttered Crowly. "Well, I'll be around. You know, probably trying to kill you or something. Happy trails."
He snapped his fingers and was gone.
"That was a completely unnecessary entrance," Sam said.
"I am genuinely shocked that you are heterosexual," Dean replied.
"You're apparently one to talk," Sam retorted. Dean shrugged.
Castiel had wandered back to the bricks and was looking at the brothers with his usual, serious expression.
"We should go," he said. Sam walked back to the road, followed by Bones and a reluctant Dean. Castiel extended both of his arms and looked at the Winchesters expectantly.
"Cas, you gotta be kidding," Dean whined. Castiel looked imploringly at the scarecrow, and Dean heaved a spectacularly dramatic sigh. He grudgingly took the tin-man's arm and was rewarded with a silvery beam. Sam took the other arm and the trio began a very poorly coordinate, lurching skip down the golden path.
I was going to make Cas's song really angsty, but then I discovered that I could rhyme "grace" with "sixth base." Also, I know that I rhymed normal with paranormal and, no, I'm not sorry.