When I was 7 I stopped believing in God. At 18 I haven't again believed in religion. How could some being who was supposed to smite evil exist if evil penetrated us down to our very cores? I still said prayers, but I never believed what it said.
If God was real why didn't he stop all the suffering and break the rule of the bloated, corrupt Capitol? When I was 7 I witnessed the brutal murder of a boy who was 14 for taking 3 extra fish to feed his starving family. They whipped him and languished it slowly. His cries stopped only when they put a bullet in his brain; he was the example not the victim. I am the example and victim.
At a whopping five months pregnant, I am at my largest body size I've ever been. My months at home haven't been very exciting. I've basically been swimming and trying to run from the past. I tried to sail to see if there was ever a place other than Panem.
When I got several miles out to sea there was barbwire under the water so I have to turn back. Some may call me paranoid, but there's something out there that the government doesn't want us to know. I will find out.
I struggle out of my bed that's high off my bed and my feet land on the plush carpet that decorates my bedroom in Victor's Village. I put on some jean Capri's and a loose maternity top. I French braid my hair; however, this isn't something I usually do. I eat some of the bread that's native to my District. The saltiness reminds me of my tears.
I walk through the district market; I resist the urge to puke. This brings back a memory of when my mom was pregnant with the twins. She couldn't walk through the fish market without puking. I buy a tuna to eat for later. I start to slowly walk home. This isn't my home I think, a cage to keep the murdering, psychotic Victors from the general population. I smell it when I reach the front door, roses and blood. I calm myself down and straighten my back up.
A man waits at the front door and takes my package. I tell him thank you. "President Snow is in your study." He says arrogantly. "Ok thank you." I slip off my shoes and quietly walk to my "office". I've never really been in the study. I haven't needed it; with all the money I have. The smell of roses and a hint of blood are almost over powering. I open the door and take a deep breath. He's sitting in the large chair rifling through papers.
"Hello Mrs. Seawallder." He curtly says. "Hello President Snow." I reply neutrally. He eyes me in a way that makes me think of a snake getting ready to pounce on a mouse. My sea green eyes staring down his black ones, which are blacker than midnight. "Mrs. Seawallder I think it would be easier if we didn't lie to each other." He says, "Yes I quite agree." I remark.
"So Mrs. Seawallder, we have quite a dilemma here. You are pregnant with the deceased Dune Morgenstern's child." He says quietly, which sends shivers down my spine. I fold my hand over my stomach to protect it. I feel the baby kick back. "Yes I am." I reply. "How is your family Mrs. Seawallder? How I can easily kill them off if we don't agree. Or you could fall down the stairs and have a tragic miscarriage. What's your poison? " Snow grins. "I haven't been near my family for weeks for their own protection. Please don't my baby, this is one of the people I could give my life up for." I say.
"Oh yes I've heard of the incident of where you tried to knife your sister." He almost smiles while saying this. Snow takes pleasure in murder, and disgust fills my heart. "Yes, and what is your real reason of coming to my home? I know this isn't for pleasure am I quite right." I ask.
"Mrs. Seawallder I know you're not stupid. So the innocent girl act won't work on me like the others. You see I know you manipulated your way into the Career pack. My reason of coming here is to say that you've stirred up thoughts of rebellion. A pregnant girl in the Hunger Games has never happened before. Many people in the Capitol and District's didn't like that. You must calm the District's and the Capitol down. Is that clear?" he says and starts to walk out of the room.
"Crystal." I reply. "Oh and Mrs. Seawallder since you and your family aren't as close anymore don't think that they are safe." Snow smirks. I feel my hand crumple into a fist; I want to kill that man. He deserves to die. And he should die by my hand.
I sit in the office, my anger boiling. I go outside and walk quickly to Mags house. I reach the door and rap urgently. "Did Snow visit you?" she asks. "Yes." I reply with my voice quavering, and then the tears start to flow down my cheeks. "He doesn't visit all Victor's just the troublemakers. Whom did he threaten?" she asks. "My family, my baby, and me. The poor, pregnant, mad girl." I whisper. "I want my mom." I cry. I vaguely hear Mags talking to someone on the phone and then a door bursting open. Strong golden arms pick me up. I hazily see sea green eyes before I go out like a light.