WARNING: TCEST! Don't like it? DONT READ IT!
DISCLAIMER: I do no own the turtles. If I did, there would be so much more Donnie
Donnie could not even begin to explain the multitude of emotions that were flowing throughout his body. Ever since Leo had arrived, Donnie had been in an emotional turmoil, but now that the blue branded turtle was in the same room as him, he cant even think straight.
The genius had been dreaming and thinking of this day for so long, but he still couldn't keep his emotions in check. As much as Donnie wanted to just forgive Leo and go back to being the way they used to be, he knew he couldn't. With everything that had happened in the past two years, getting close to anyone was dangerous.
No matter how much Leo had pissed Donnie off, he would not subject his ex lover to the horrors of his new reality. He would not subject it to anyone in his family.
Leo still hadn't spoken, but Donnie could tell he was still trying to figure out what he was going to say. They hadn't spoken in two years, and Donnie had changed quite significantly in that time. It was pretty obvious that the blue branded turtle was unsure of how Donnie would react in certain situations or words, so he was taking his time.
But Donnie wanted to be alone, so the faster this went, the faster he could leave. He needed to let his other half blow off some steam or everyone would suffer his temper.
"Look Leonardo. What happened, happened. We can not change that, not now, not ever. There is no point in a huge apology idea you are no doubt trying to brew. I get that you feel guilty for what happened, but there is no need. Live and forget. I have left it in the past. Now it is time for you to do the same." Donnie said with the same numbness that always tainted his words.
Silence followed, but Donnie didn't mind. It just meant that he could concentrate better on the digitalized diagrams of the exo-suits he was planning to make and not the antagonising closeness of the one that hurt him so long ago. If he could offer more protection when they fought the shredder in the future, then maybe he could save his brothers. It was a long shot, but he had to take that chance.
"You and I both know that you haven't 'left it in the past' Donnie." Leo's serious tone cut through the silence, making Donnie freeze.
"I have Leonardo. You have not been here for two years, so do not tell me that this new turtle is a result of your actions. I have left the past in the dust. I will admit that I still do have some resentment from what you said and did, but that will fade quickly, and I shall treat you with the same respect that I show our brothers." Donnie replied, his left hand grabbing some paper and a pen before he began to jot down some ideas for his machinery.
"Shell, Donnie! This 'new turtle' isn't you! You aren't like this but you and everyone else acts like its no big deal. People, or turtles in this case, don't just change. It takes something to convince them to change. The turtle you have become is because I was being a jackass and hurt you. For no reason." Leo said sadly, his voice dripping sorrow.
An all too familiar anger began to burn a hole in the pit of his stomach at his leaders words. No, not leader yet, just his brother.
"Now you are just being self conceived. I changed to adapt to our new lives, not because my boyfriend broke up with me. Not because my boyfriend cheated on me with someone who I thought was my friend. Things like that happen very frequently, it is no big deal. I have become what was required of me." Donnie said once again, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice this time.
"But you wouldn't have had to change if I hadn't left or If I had taken you with me, maybe things would have been different." Leo said sadly.
"No. It would ended badly at some point. You had already been with Usagi, if I hadn't found out before you left, I might have found out while we were both in central america, with both of us trapped there. It would have been catastrophic. if not then, then sometime in the future, the longer it was hidden, the angrier I would have been for not knowing. This was unavoidable, whether you think so or not." Donnie growled, his work forgotten as he turned to look at the blue branded turtle.
His first mistake.
As soon as coffee brown met light grey, the world seemed to slow. Everything around him began to blur, including his surroundings, experiments and noises. All that mattered at that moment were the passionate grey pools staring back at him with such a level of compassion that his breath caught in his throat.
He could feel the remnants of who he used to be begin to claw at his mind. The old Donnie would have reached forward and caressed Leo's cheek, trying to provide comfort to the distraught turtle. That Donnie would have tried to kiss all of his worries away, try make everything better.
However, that Donnie was dead. He had to be. The new Donnie would do none of that. As much as his older brother was in a turmoil, he couldn't let himself care. Not only was it dangerous, but Donnie had also lied when he said that he left his past behind. He refused to let Leo worm his way back into his heart. Not ever again.
The smallest of movements brought his mind back to reality. Leo was slowly leaning closer, his lips moist and his eyes luring. At first, he thought about closing up the distance finally locking lips with the one who still plagues his dreams. But he didn't. No, instead he turned back to his computer, making sure to emphasize the spin of his chair to show his distaste.
A soft but agitated sigh from behind him let Donnie know that his blue branded brother had got the message. Loud and clear. Something deep inside of him ached at denying his love for his older brother. There, he admitted it. He stilled loved Leo, but that didn't mean he was willing to let anything become of it.
"Donnie..." Leo said softly, his voice right next to Donnie's ear. The blue branded turtles breath tickled his neck and sent a shiver throughout his body, one that he work very hard to hide. However, Leo seemed to noticed it. Instead of pulling away, like Donnie had internally begged for, Leo just caressed the genius' arms with gentle touched as he leaned forward to kiss his neck.
That was the last straw. Donnie abruptly stood, turned around and shoved the blue branded turtle away with a hard glare set into place. His hands were in very tight fists at his sides as he tried to control his anger. Just because Leo deserved it at that point, doesn't mean that the purple branded turtle was going to give in.
"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to leave, Leonardo. I am about to go out to the junkyard anyway and would very much appreciate privacy at this moment in time." Donnie growled, his eyes never once leaving Leo's as he reached out and grabbed his duffle bag from one of the nearby desks.
No one moved or even made a noise for a few minutes. That is until Donnie took a step towards the door and his brother, his angry glare still in place. Leo got the hint pretty quickly and left the lab without a word. As Donnie left, he turned and locked the door, slipping the key to the lock into his lab coat.
"Oh, and Leonardo." Donnie called, getting his oldest brother, who was now setting up a teapot, to look up at him. "I would strongly suggest that you do not follow me. If you fail to let that seep through your thick skull, You will finally meet my true anger. And trust me when I say, you will not like it. Just ask your brothers."
With that, Donnie left. As he was walking he realized that he said "Your" instead of "Our". His dark side had taken over for a brief moment before he walked out, and he was deffinately going to be questioned about it later. There was no doubt about that, although, he couldn't bring himself to care.
It felt like little bugs were crawling just beneath his skin as his muscles clenched and unclenched. Everything was beginning to hurt as a result of his anger. Donnie made his way through the sewers as quickly as he could, taking a few minor detours along the way in case a certain blue branded brother decided not to heed his warning.
The scent of rotting food and rusty metal hit Donnie's nose powerfully, making his head spin for a split second. No matter how many times he went up there, especially when he and is inner self was angry, he would never be able to avoid flinching at the initial stench. However, that flinch gave him a chance to take back control of his mind once again.
As he walked farther into the junkyard, he began to remove the duffle bag and his lab coat, revealing pale olive skin and a skinny, malnourished body. Out of his brothers, Donnie had always been the thinnest, but at this point, he just looked pathetic. And he knew it.
However, even if he wanted to become healthy looking again, it wouldn't do any good. Even while in the hideous state he was currently in, he was stilled strong and skilled. During the time that Leo had spent in Central America, Donnie had lead his brothers into a few fights with the foot, mostly during a patrol.
He was malnourished then as well, but he could still hold his own, shoving his grief in the back of his mind and fighting for his brothers. No matter how terribly he began to treat them, He would always care. No matter how many times he had lashed out at them, both emotionally and physically, he would always protect them.
No matter what, he would always love them. Even if they didn't return those feelings.
A growl left his lips as he felt the presence of another. At first, he assumed it was Leo, and was about to chew him out. However, the aura that flooded around him was not calm and remorseful like Leo's, but angry and desperate.
Karai.
It had been a long time since the defeat of the shredder, but that didn't mean that she still didn't want to tear them apart for what they had done. He straightened his posture to stare at the darkness in front of him while his hands occupied themselves with removing the bandages from around his hands.
He had not come out to fight, just to search for things while both parts of him calmed down and got fresh air. However, as he surfaced, he could feel that his other half wanted something more that just air. It wanted blood, and at this point, he was willing to let it have it.
"It seems that you've gotten even uglier since our last meeting, Donatello." Karai's angered voice rang from all around him, the walls of trash echoing her voice. His eyes snapped to the spot to his right, patiently awaiting her approach as he tossed the bandages atop his duffle bad and lab coat.
"Good to know that you have been eyeing me, Karai." he said back, traces of amusement in his voice. A small smirk graced his chapped lips as he stared at the faint silhouette in the darkness. He could feel the air becoming even more tense as other presences made themselves known.
His eyes shot in every direction as the smirk faded. There were at least twenty other foot ninja in the area, more than he could face alone. Unfortunately for them, he wasn't alone.
Karai emerged from the shadows with a smirk of her own. "Tonight, the first part of my revenge will be complete. On this night, you will die." She growled as her smirk became a snarl.
"That's what you think." Donnie growled back, slowly submitting his mind to his other half, His dark side. The ninja emerged from the shadows, their weapons drawn and ready to attack the seemingly defenseless turtle. Just because he was not currently wielding his weapon, not mean that he didn't have a few tricks up his non-existent sleeves.
"Let's dance." Was Donnie's last word before an animalistic roar escaped his lips.
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