Since last week, I couldn't stop thinking of Santana. We had reconnected fully, now following each other on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat. I had to ask Beth to teach me about Snapchat. It was the one I had no clue how to use.
"Mama Q, why are you joining Snapchat? Aren't you too—"
I cut her off, "Don't you even say I'm too old for this Beth Cocoran! Don't you think it's time? Shouldn't I know what you are up to, as your other mother?"
"I don't believe you, Mama. You want to follow someone…"
"Ok, smartypants. You caught me."
"What his name? Or her name?" she asks me, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Santana Lopez."
"You know her, Mama? She's gorgeous. Way to go! Here, I follow her already. She is hysterical. I'll add her to your friends."
"Why do you follow her?"
"Duh, mom. She's super popular in Hollywood, pretty, funny, and she snapchats with her clients. It's great! See…" Beth says as she plays Santana's latest snap of her and Michelle walking their dogs in Runyon Canyon.
"Santana and I went to high school together, along with your sister, Rachel, and Mercedes."
"Wow. I remember now. The Troubletones, right? Or New Directions?"
"Well, we were all New Directions. Santana and Mercedes broke off to be in the Troubletones with your mom. I joined for one performance. I'm sure your mom has it somewhere."
I could see her eyes light up. Eyes like mine. She loved watching our old performances. Beth was an amazing performer, really following in Shelby and Rachel's footsteps. I know Shelby said she moved to L.A. for her career, but it became more clear that it was for Beth. She was in dance and voice lessons and wanted to pursue an acting career. Maybe she did get that "drama" bug from me. It was my major at Yale, after all.
Beth gave me a brief tutorial on Snapchat and then we did my first snap together. I love my silly little girl who was growing up too fast. I was so blessed to be a part of her amazing life- thanks to Shelby, who encouraged our relationship. She would drop her off on Sundays and I would have the whole day with my girl. I would drop her off to school on Monday mornings.
I just dropped Beth off at school when my iPhone buzzed. A message from Santana.
Cook me something.
I laughed.
I am on my way to Cardio Barre. 9 am class. Want to join me? I promise to cook you breakfast after.
Ugg. You do that shit? It better be the best breakfast ever. Text me the address.
30 minutes later, we are in class at Silverlake. I was bad. I knew the routine but I kept messing up because I was oogling over Santana. God, she was breathtaking and so hot, especially when she was sweating. Lord, I was horny…
"Ok, Quinn. I have to give it you. That was a lot of fun." Santana says as I plate her breakfast.
"I go four times a week if you want to join me again, San. Eat up! Bon appetit!"
I made her eggs benedict and super green smoothie. Nothing too fancy. You wouldn't know it from her reaction.
"Damn, girl. You can cook. This is the best eggs benedict I've ever had. And this smoothie! Jamba Juice ain't got nothing on you!"
I start to blush.
"It's all about the ingredients, Santana. I always try to use the freshest, organic products. It makes all the difference. Do you think you'll be able to make dinner of Wednesday?"
"Yeah, I should be able to. Don't tell Rachel or Mercedes. I'll surprise them. Oh shit. It's almost 11:30! I have to get going, Quinn. Duty calls. Thanks for this. It was delicious."
Santana gets up and I do too. I am anticipating a friendly, not sexual at all hug. It's not what I get. I get what I want. A sweaty, warm, tingly hug that lasts a tad longer than it should between two friends. I'm dying. I'm a fucking hormonal teenager freaking out over a hug. What is happening to me? She releases me to look at me. I feel like I have a giant sign flashing on my forehead: "Needs a good lay." I'm a hot mess, literally and physically.
"You o.k. Q? You looked flushed."
I quickly recover. "Ohh, yeah, I'm just dehydrated after Barre. I'm fine. See you Wednesday at 7:30?"
"Sounds great! I'm looking forward to it!"
It is now Wednesday night, 7:00 pm and Mercedes is with me, having a cocktail before Rachel, Jesse, and Santana arrive. For some unknown reason, I am nervous. Well, I do know the reason. It's Santana. We have been texting on and off since the Cardio Barre class. I forgot how much I missed my friend. It seems that the years have allowed our friendship to mellow from frenemies to true friends. But Mercedes is noticing more…
"Quinn! Why are you so figitety? What is wrong with you?"
"It's nothing, Mercedes. I'm fine."
"Aww, hell to the no, Queen Bee. I know you. What's up?"
I duck my head away from her but she catches me off guard, spinning me towards her.
"You can't hide from me, Quinn. C'mon. What's the deal?"
"I… uggh. Fine. It's Santana."
"What about her?"
"I can't stop thinking about her ever since she showed up here a week ago."
Mercedes looks shocked.
"Wait, but isn't she engaged? You have a little crush on your former frenemy?"
"Yes, Mercedes, she is engaged to the stunning Michelle Rodriguez. It is why she came by. She wants me to cater the wedding."
"Oh, sweet Jesus. This is complicated. I'm going to need a couple cocktails to get through tonight."
"It was like no time had passed between us, Mercedes. The playful banter and teasing. It's like I didn't realize how much I missed her until she was right in front of me. And WOW, she looks amazing."
"Another Moscow Mule please and make it strong. I am not used to hearing you gush over girls yet. Give me a moment. You are talking about Santana."
I shove her playfully as she hands me her empty cocktail glass.
"So, is anything happening?"
"I'm not sure. I mean we've had lingering looks and charged hugs. But maybe it's all in my head, you know? It's been so long since I've been remotely interested in anyone."
"Quinn, from my vast experience, I would say that these things don't happen in a vaccuum. If you are feeling something, I bet she is feeling something too. But you know Santana. She loves attention. She thrives on it. Heck, it's why she's one the most sought after publicists in this city. I'll watch y'all tonight. I'm ready for a show."
"Wonderful, Mercedes. As if I didn't already feel nervous, now you'll be watching us."
"Hey, Quinn. There is nothing to be nervous about! You are among friends! It's just us! This is going to be a great night!"
And as if on cue, Rachel and Jesse enter Amuse Bouche. They usually come to L.A. once a year and it is always wonderful to see Rachel. We all had gotten closer as we got older. I think it's something Finn would have liked. We managed to get over ourselves to become genuine friends. Hugs are exchanged and I lead everyone to our table in the back, secluded from the main dining room. We all take our seats when Rachel notices the extra place setting next to me.
"Is there someone else joining us, Quinn?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. It is a surprise," I say, as I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. I spin around and am greeted by Santana. She gives me a quick peck on the cheek and I can see Mercedes smirking at me.
"Surprise! Hey Rachel!"
"Oh my god, Santana! I haven't seen you since our wedding! What a wonderful surprise!"
Rachel and Jesse both get up to greet Santana. Mercedes looks at me knowingly before she hugs Santana warmly. I need a reason to leave this moment and compose myself.
"I'm going to check on our appetizers. I'll be right back."
Mercedes, Jesse, and Rachel all sit down and start catching up. But Santana doesn't follow suit. She follows me into the kitchen.
"Santana, you shouldn't be back here. I'll be right back out," I say, wanting a little distance between us. I know I won't be able to make it through this night if we are this close to each other all night. I'll combust.
"Oh, sorry, Quinn. I just wanted to give you this before I go sit down."
I look down at the piece of paper she is handing me. It's a press release from The James Beard Award Foundation.
"Go on and read it, Quinn," Santana says, beaming with pride.
I take a deep breath and read it. I got it. I won! I must have been shaking because I feel Santana's hands rest on my shoulders.
"Congratulations, Quinnie! I'm so proud of you!" she says as she wraps me in a huge hug.
At this very moment, I cannot tell what is making me more excited: winning this prestigious honor or being held in Santana's embrace. God, this is going to be a long night…