Craig lost count of how many hours… how many days he sat by John Paul's bed watching his slumberous friend, talking to him, reading to him and just praying that he would wake up.
Others would come by and urge Craig to leave, to take a break or just to go home; and occasionally he would heed their words as he left in search of food or a shower and change of clothes, but his absences were few and brief and each morning he would be found asleep with his head resting by John Paul's side and his fingers entwined with the unresponsive ones of his friend.
Sarah would call in daily, offering her boyfriend the support he felt guilty accepting but unable to refuse. The McQueen women were there in shifts waiting for some reaction from their brother, their son. Even Spike paid a visit, his eyes flickering curiously between the unconscious John Paul and the over attentive Craig, before brushing a kiss across John Paul's forehead and taking his leave.
But late at night Craig always had John Paul to himself. He would whisper to his sleeping companion in a voice that people only ever used in the stillness of the night. He would promise John Paul how different things were going to be, if only he would wake up. He would swear how he would tell Sarah, how he would tell everyone the truth. He would tell John Paul a million things that he felt his friend wanted to hear and, despite the fact the John Paul never moved or reacted to a single one of Craig's words, Craig somehow still felt John Paul's doubt.
"They're only words," he could hear John Paul whisper, "Promises that you've made before and never kept."
"So d'you think they're a couple?" A young dark haired nurse was leaning in the doorway of John Paul's room talking to her colleague and watching the young man seated next to the bed of his friend.
"I don't know," the other nurse replied, "I'm sure that girl that comes is the dark haired lads girlfriend… but if you look at them just now."
Craig's head was in its usual resting place on the edge of John Paul's bed and his hand rested lazily with its fingers entwined with John Paul's.
"Should we wake him?" The first nurse asked.
"Nah, it's still early… let him sleep there's no need to disturb him just yet."
Craig began to stir as the noises of the hospital increased with the start of a new day. He lay still for a moment, the familiar stiffness of his neck slowly creeping into his mind. But there was something else just on the edge of his consciousness that was bothering him. Something was different.
He could feel the familiar sensation of the hospital sheets against his cheek, he could smell the disinfected fragrance of the wards, he could hear the noise of the machinery humming quietly beside John Paul as it monitored him and he could feel the warmth of John Paul's fingers curled against his.
The second that Craig realised what was different he sat bolt upright, ignoring the shooting pain that darted down his spine. His hand was holding onto John Paul's, as it had been every morning since the accident. Today was the first time that he could feel John Paul's grip tight against his.
John Paul was holding his hand back… and if he was holding him then that could surely only mean one thing.
Craig turned his gaze nervously to John Paul, letting it drift slowly across the hospital sheets, over John Paul's chest and upwards until it reached his face. Craig almost wept for joy as he saw the soft blue eyes looking back at him.
"John Paul," he breathed, "God you had me so worried."
"Craig," John Paul's voice was dry and it cracked as he spoke, "What's happened?"
Craig reached for the alarm button, pressing it repeatedly to call for a nurse.
"You were in an accident," he informed his friend, "But it's alright now… everything will be alright now."
Craig stood in the corner of the hospital room with a smile as the medical staff checked John Paul over before announcing that he still had a long way to go until he was fully recovered, but the fact that he was conscious was a great start.
Once left alone Craig returned to the chair at John Paul's side.
"I thought I was going to lose you," Craig said stroking the back of John Paul's had affectionately.
"I don't really remember," John Paul replied. "Where we fighting?" he asked after a pause.
Craig nodded sadly. "It was all my fault," he confessed, "If you'd… if anything had… I would never have forgiven myself…"
John Paul looked into the sad brown eyes of the man he loved.
"But everything will be OK now?"
"I promise," Craig replied, "From now on I …"
Craig's words were cut short as the door behind him opened.
"I've just heard you were awake," Sarah's voice cut through the air and Craig could almost feel it stinging his skin. She planted a kiss against John Paul's cheek.
"You had us all really worried you know," she continued, "Craig's hardly left your side… I was starting to get jealous!"
John Paul turned to glance at Craig. Somehow he had known that Craig had been with him through all this, somewhere in the depth of his subconscious he had taken comfort in the presence of the man.
"So do I get you back any time soon?" Sarah asked Craig jokingly.
Craig's gaze darted between Sarah and John Paul and back again as the usual feeling of panic and uncertainty began to creep into his chest.
John Paul sighed softly; he was just too tired for this again. He didn't have the energy to fight, not even for Craig. He closed his eyes and let his head sink back into the softness of the pillows as he prepared to hear Craig's latest lies to his girlfriend.
John Paul was surprised to feel the softness of lips pressing gently against his and as he opened his eyes he saw Craig's face smiling down at him lovingly.
"No more lies," Craig whispered to him.
Standing upright Craig turned to Sarah with a deep breath.
"I'm sorry Sarah," he said calmly.
"I don't understand," she said with a frown.
Craig took hold of John Paul's hand. "I love him."
"I know you do… we both do… he's a mate."
Craig swallowed hard. "No," he continued, "I mean… I'm IN LOVE with him… I'm sorry but we're… we're together…"
Sarah shook her head; unable or unwilling to believe the evidence of her own eyes.
"You can't be," she objected, "You're not gay…"
"I don't know what I am," Craig admitted, "But I know what I want… and it's John Paul. I nearly lost him and I can't take that chance again…"
"I'm so sorry Sarah," John Paul said with genuine regret at the pain he saw on his friends face.
Sarah looked at the men before her and she had no idea who they were. Her boyfriend would never have treated her to badly and her good friend would never have betrayed her so completely.
Shaking her head she walked to the door. "Just keep away from me," she said through gritted teeth, "Both of you… you disgust me."
As Sarah slammed the door behind her Craig sank into his chair with a sigh. Seeing the pain on her face had almost made him regret what he had done. He loved Sarah, he really did and he never wanted to cause her such pain. But as he looked at John Paul, as he saw the love on the face of the man before him he knew that he'd made the right decision.
"Thank you," John Paul whispered as he held Craig's hand.
"What for?"
"Everything, for being here, for telling Sarah… for loving me."
"Loving you was always the easy part," Craig said as he raised John Paul's hand to his lips.
OK this is where we now have a choice of endings to the story… Coz I just COULD NOT DECIDE which I wanted to write…
Original Ending:
The young dark haired nurse smiled to herself when she came into the room an hour later to check on John Paul.
"I knew it," she thought to herself.
John Paul lay in a peaceful sleep on the bed, his head resting on Craig's shoulder whilst Craig, who had climbed onto the bed beside him, held the man gently in his arms, a contented smile playing across his own sleeping features.
The nurse watched them for a while; loathe to disturb such a picture of peace, as the two men held each other and dreamed of the future, together.
A week later Craig's hand was resting lightly on John Paul's knee as they sat on the sofa in the McQueen's house. It was a simple gesture that he did without thinking as being able to touch John Paul in front of people was slowly becoming more and more commonplace.
"Tea lads…" Myra said as she entered the room with two steaming mugs.
"Thanks Mrs McQueen," Craig smiled taking one of the drinks from her.
"I've told you… it's Myra."
"Thanks Myra," he corrected his smile widening.
He had never expected to be taken into the McQueen household so easily but once John Paul had told them of their relationship he had become a member of the family.
John Paul took a sip of the hot drink before placing his mug on the floor and leaning his head back against Craig's shoulder. He was still rather weak from the accident but everyday he felt his strength improving and, with Craig by his side, he knew that soon he would be back to his old self.
No, better than his old self.
Now there were no more lies and no more secrets. At last he could tell the world of his great love. He no longer had to hide or pretend.
"Love you," he whispered into Craig's ear.
"Love you too," Craig replied as he kissed the top of John Paul's head.
They both knew that there would still be struggles ahead but from now on whatever the world threw at them they would face it together.
Alternative Ending (hankies at the ready)
Craig touched his lips to the soft skin of John Paul's hand smiling as John Paul's fingers curled around his own, squeezing them briefly before letting go.
Somehow Craig knew. Even before the noise of the monitor told him and even before he looked up to see the sparkle gone from the blue in John Paul's eyes. He placed John Paul's limp hand down against his chest and stepped back as the Doctor and nurses rushed to John Paul's side, called by the alarms of the machine.
Craig stood in the corner as they fought in vain to restart John Paul's heart. He already knew it was too late, he knew that the man he loved was gone. Craig felt a sad smile on his lips as he realised that John Paul had also known and that his final words had been their goodbye.
There were no tears as Craig watched the Doctor shake his head in regret, switch of the monitors and turn to him with sympathy.
There would be time for tears. They would come soon and when they did Craig would wonder if they were ever going to stop.
But now, as Craig brushed his hand against John Paul's lifeless cheek, he felt a moment of gladness. He was grateful to have known this wonderful man and to have loved him. But mostly he felt glad that in the end, when it really mattered, he hadn't let John Paul down. He had stood proud and strong and spoken his love out loud.
For a moment he felt a presence beside him, a hand on his shoulder and a breeze, or was it a kiss, against his cheek. Then it was gone. And Craig was alone.
A week later Craig's hand was resting lightly on the corner of the dark wooden box that held his friend. He looked towards the congregation in the church, John Paul's friends and family all gathered to say goodbye, and took a deep breath.
"John Paul was my friend," he began, "he was my best friend. But he was so much more than that. My life is far richer because he was a part of it and it's so much poorer now that he's gone."
Craig paused as a single tear ran down his cheek and he stroked the edge of the coffin with gentleness.
"He showed me who I could really be and I loved him. For the rest of my life I will always remember this beautiful man and the all to short time I had with him. Goodbye John Paul, I love you."
Myra put her arm around Craig as he retook his seat next to her.
"He loved you too," she whispered to him.
"I know," Craig replied, "And I'll always be grateful for that."