"Turn to page three hundred ninety four… Find ingredients for a basic Fire Protection Spell… Be especially careful with the Bursting Mushrooms… Showing you the proper way to disarm them…" Professor Snape continued droning on. Until she had met Snape, Andy never knew it was possible for a monotone to sound sinister. She could never focus on what he was saying for very long because his voice reminded her of a depressed Alan Rickman. Not that it was really necessary to pay attention today. She frequently had to make Black Fire Potion for her housemates because she had a nasty habit of catching things on fire by accident when she was upset. She herself was impervious to fire; she had been blessed with the ability to create and control heat and flames. She'd always assumed she was born with it, because she couldn't remember a time in her life when she hadn't been able to light candles with the tip of her finger. It usually came in handy, especially when she wanted to freak someone out, but occasionally it would get out of hand. One time, she had gotten in a huge fight with Penelope Clearwater while they were unpacking and had sent her entire trunk of belongings up in flames. Professor Flitwick had been able to recover them, thank goodness, but Penny didn't speak to her for a month after that.

Andy tore herself away from the memory of Penelope's smoldering suitcase and decided to focus on her next move with Malfoy instead. It was going to be hard to get away with anything in this class because he was pretty much Snape's pet. She surveyed the classroom, looking for anything she could do to make him miserable. There wasn't much to see, aside from Pansy staring over at him dreamily with her head in her hands. That's it! She took out her quill and started to scribble a note.

Pansy,

I have something very important to tell you. Meet me in the common room after dinner.

Your lover,

Draco

She waited until Snape turned his back and levitated it over to Pansy's desk, hoping and praying that the girl didn't know what Draco's handwriting actually looked like. Probably not, she guessed. He doesn't strike me as the letter-writing type.

Pansy wrinkled up her nose at the parchment before reading it. She let out an audible gasp, and scribbled out a reply, which Andy promptly intercepted.

Drakey-Poo,

Of course I'll meet you! I'm so excited to hear what you have to say! Hopefully it has something to do with how you've always secretly loved me and were only pushing me away because you were grumpy.

Your Delicate Flower,

Pansy

Gross. Pansy was the kind of desperate that went for the worst man out of the worst kind of men. Andy might have felt sorry for her if she weren't such a snob. For the moment, she just set back to absentmindedly pouring salamander blood into her cauldron and stirring it, glad her plan was in action. She would look over from time to time to see Pansy making bedroom eyes at Malfoy, who looked rather confused. She chuckled. I'd like to be a fly on the wall of the Slytherin common room tonight…

Charms, Divination, and Defense Against the Dark Arts all went well, but they melted into a blur. She was far too occupied with her latest conquest. She had what her brother Stan called "a destructive single-minded determination" and that was precisely the reason she wouldn't be able to focus on anything else until Draco Malfoy was sufficiently miserable. As she changed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth for the night, she ached to know what was going on in the Slytherin common room.

"I wonder how Pansy and Malfoy are getting along tonight," she wondered aloud.

Cho rolled onto her stomach in the bed next to her. "I dunno. If I had to guess, it's probably business as usual with her pawing all over him while he scowls and swats at her."

"Oh, you have no idea," Andy giggled.

"Why are you suddenly so interested in the ferret's love life, anyway? Wait a second…" Cho's eyes narrowed as she tossed her black hair to one side. "You didn't do something to one of them, did you?" She peered over suspiciously at Andy, who was grinning but silent. "Andrea Dennington, if you slipped one of them a love potion and Malfoy storms up here in the morning for your head on a silver platter, don't expect me to come to your res-"

"No love potion, I swear."

"Oh, thank goodness."

"However, I may have passed Pansy a note in Malfoy's name saying to meet him in the common room tonight so he could tell her some big news about their relationship." She ducked behind her bed to avoid the pillow Cho had thrown at her face.

"You did what?! Andy, you can't just go playing practical jokes on the richest and most hateful person in Hogwarts and expect to get away with it! He's already planning to murder you after what happened last night, and you feel the need to push your luck even farther? I don't even know how I stand you sometimes."

Andy threw the pillow back onto Cho's bed. "Oh, admit it. You always said you wanted your life to be more interesting."

"Interesting, yes. But this is just plain dangerous. Anyway, goodnight, you reckless loon."

"Goodnight, you hopelessly good-natured prude."

The girls laughed for a moment before settling in to sleep.