Thank you so much Eriasa Jun, Wolf579, mara-kun, Gilbert's Left Arm, caffeinatedsaiyangirl, Albino Shadowz, Sonooneknew, bulma's snivy, and Canoodle Doodle! I really, really hope the chapter was worth the wait. My apologies. ^.^;
The first battles involve a painful amount yelling. It's the straightforward approach, which Jounouchi favors, since attacking the opponent directly is the closest thing to a fist fight he can get when trapped as an incorporeal being.
He ends up mutilating himself with a double-edged sword. Kaiba may not be capable of escaping his loud, mental rants—as torturous as a banshee, except way more manly because Jounouchi is the manliest man since Chris Hemsworth—but Jounouchi endures the resulting headaches right along with him. Kaiba remains the one most competent at controlling the mind link, and the only thing he doesn't seem intent on shielding is the pain.
He makes a valiant effort, regardless. For days Jounouchi shouts about how he has rights, damn it, to his own body and Kaiba has an obligation as a human being to help him re-attain his own will. He gives heartfelt speeches of human rights, freedom, justice, love, and burgers (because Kaiba only eats caviar and Purina Freak Food, or whatever it is that rich jerks eat), but to no avail.
Despite Honda and especially Anzu always telling him that he has no brain-to-mouth filter—or if he does, it has gaping holes—and his teachers grimly concluding that the fickle concept of "shutting up" simply exists outside his comprehensive grasp, Kaiba adeptly and emphatically tunes out Jounouchi's psychological verbal onslaught.
No wonder Anzu never breaks through to him; Jounouchi may as well be talking to a particularly uninterested wall.
He moves onto more sophisticated tactics after that.
Kaiba doesn't strike him as the type to enjoy good ol' rock-'n'-roll, so his next strategical maneuver proves more promising. He doesn't think it possible to grow tired of Back in Black, but after two hundred and twelve repeats, he has to admit that the song doesn't sound as badass as before—especially when he has to mind-mumble several verses every time since he can't quite remember them.
So he switches numbers and belts out dozens of repeats of 99 bottles of beer on the wall, just in case Kaiba has a secret passion for AC DC and might break if Jounouchi sings something other than hard rock.
The resulting headache is even more massive, but Kaiba tells Mokuba that the aspirin is for staring at a computer screen too long, much to Jounouchi's irritation. The kid doesn't seem to buy it, but Kaiba hasn't been hanging around him much, maybe avoiding him so that he doesn't snap at the only person who gives a fuck if he's crankier than usual.
Jounouchi tries not to feel guilty about that.
Neglected brothers aside, after two weeks of shouting and general obnoxiousness, he decides to take a dramatic one-eighty. Silence. The only thing he lets leak across their unwanted link is a deep misery that he hopes will gain him some form of sympathy.
Clearly, Jounouchi forgets the critical knowledge that Kaiba lacks basic emotions, so he's doomed to failure from the very start.
Needless to say, the strategy falls apart when Kaiba gleefully takes his absence as the go-ahead to tell Yugi precisely how much he doesn't care about coma-ridden dogs, and how he's already being far too generous by allowing a mutt to stay in KaibaCorp hospital—of course there is one—when it's not even an animal clinic.
Evil bastard.
Jounouchi decides he favors his first method of warfare.
Still, in his fit of rage, he doesn't expect to actually accomplish anything. He recalls Yugi telling him that the "other" Yugi wields such an ability, but even he has to admit, this is way cooler than what he envisioned.
Jounouchi can float. Kaiba can't beat that unless those rumors are true and he really does have the ability to shoot laser beams from his eyes. He suspects the rumors mean shit, though, because he's not fried to a crisp of well-done Jou-steak and he's been on the receiving end of Kaiba's glares for years.
He feels immensely satisfied when Kaiba's eyes widen at the sight of the spirit hovering in front of him, which certainly beats any of the other responses he's managed to squeeze out of him. Last time he merited a reaction the man only twitched his nose, but that was three days ago and Jounouchi suspects he may have just had to sneeze.
At least, he really hopes that the incredulous look that flickers across Kaiba's face is because of him, and not because he suddenly considers Yugi's hair more ridiculous than usual.
Meanwhile, Yugi continues to defend his honor and tell Kaiba how he shouldn't talk about Jounouchi like he's inferior, but he does so while looking right through Jounouchi. Given that he's still floating in midair and looking confused, Jounouchi assumes that Yugi can't see him.
After waving his hands desperately in front of Yugi's face and repeating various forms of "hey Yug', can you hear me?" his smugness fades somewhat at the realization that only Kaiba can see him, and he's dead set on pretending that he can't, so much so that Jounouchi wonders if he actually can't.
Mori-sensei walks in, eying Kaiba with a measure of trepidation, doubtlessly remembering the odd breakdown he had two and a half weeks ago. He's recovered admirably, according to the teachers, but now Honda is blocking Kaiba's path and looks ready to throw punches, and the teacher probably wonders if the genius will regress at any second.
He does look bored on the surface, but Jounouchi's ghost may have pushed the last straw, because now it feels like the dangerous calm of the ocean right before a tsunami strikes.
"I'll say this one more time," Kaiba announces, glaring at Honda while he speaks. "Move, before I decide you idiots really are worth my time. I think you'll find my lawyers somewhat...disagreeable."
"You know something," Honda growls, his face contorted with indignant fury. "Yugi said you were the one who told him to look on the roof. You were the one who let him into your hospital without charge. You know something, but you're not telling us—"
Honda steps forward, either bravely or stupidly, and makes it very clear that he has no intention of moving. Kaiba probably knows judo, kung fu, and karate, so reluctantly, Jounouchi admits that his friend is just being a moron again. Especially when considering the fact that Kaiba can most definitely follow through on that threat to sue his ass.
"I saw the mutt head that direction at lunch," Kaiba states, unflinching and refusing to take a step back even with Honda's purposeful invasion of his personal space. "And if my charity disturbs you so greatly, I'll tell Mokuba that it's unwanted and kick the mutt out the next chance I get."
At that, he reaches down to grasp the shorter teen's shirt, and shoves him backwards so that Honda stumbles out of his way. Kaiba then continues down the aisle to his seat in the back, the only person who doesn't share his table with anyone. No, actually, the second chair is for his laptop.
"Kaiba-san, wait, we're grateful, but we're worried—" Yugi calls after him, but the teacher promptly reprimands him, telling him to sit down for class.
Mori-sensei proceeds to discuss parametric equations, which Kaiba likewise proceeds to ignore because he already knows it all in that freaky brain of his, and Jounouchi ignores because he doesn't give a damn. Instead, he takes the opportunity to experiment with his new, ghostly self, and aggravate Kaiba as much as possible while he works.
What can he say, he multi-tasks even when he has no mind of his own.
He can touch things, he discovers, but he can't move them, nor does anyone notice if he attempts to. He can sit on a desk or chair, but he can't move one.
He can also leave Kaiba, but the farther he goes the harder it becomes to walk, like he's attached to him by an elastic band that resists more the more distance he puts between them. He estimates his niche stretches for an approximate seven meter radius, and then starts becoming uncomfortable.
He also ascertains that it's much easier to bother Kaiba in this form. When he grows bored with making faces at the teacher and doing handstands on Honda's desk, he decides to keep Kaiba company.
And by company, he means poking the guy repeatedly on the arm and starting up a mantra of "Hey Kaiba. Hey Kaiba. Hey Kaiba. Hey Kaiba. Hey Kaiba—"
He successfully wastes away half an hour of math class with that and continues dauntlessly through break, but he chooses to spend economics sprawled across the table, nefariously reading bits and pieces from Kaiba's laptop as he works. When the CEO deals with accounting and numbers, Jounouchi counts off "five, sixty-eight, nine, fourteen" in an effort to make him type all the wrong ones.
Soon he's on a roll, and when he deals the finishing blow, moving so he effectively blocks Kaiba's view of the laptop screen—or at least, his translucent form makes it so he has to squint if he wanted to see through him—he realizes he won.
Jounouchi. Has. Won.
Because Kaiba reaches over to the chair next to him, hauls his briefcase off and places it carefully on the floor, and tugs the chair out from underneath the table so someone can sit on it.
...With no one aside from Jounouchi who possibly can. In other words, it's a completely illogical gesture, unless he's finally admitting his existence.
Jounouchi stares. "Kaiba?"
But Kaiba has carefully blocked off their link, and the only thing Jounouchi can pick up on is that the guy is tense.
It isn't the perfect surrender, but he decides to accept, because it's the most progress he's had in...well, two weeks and three days.
So he cuts the stubborn jerk some slack and moves away from his laptop, floating down into the seat next to him. Sort of like a reward; if Kaiba does what Jounouchi wants and acknowledges him, he won't incessantly wave his hands in front of his face or chant all the swear words he knows. He rather enjoys this concept, because it makes Kaiba the dog in this relationship.
Either that, or Jounouchi is just the immature mutt who can't behave, but whatever. He'll take what ammo he can get.
The teachers would be so proud if only they could see Jounouchi and Kaiba sitting so peaceably next to each other, with one typing away on his laptop and the other watching thoughtfully. Or maybe they'd be terrified, because the day the two of them coexist without even a hint at bloodshed suggests pod people or genetic personality changes.
Sitting like that is boring, though, and at twenty minutes Jounouchi reaches his limit. "Oi, Kaiba."
No response. Jounouchi wonders if the guy is back in denial, or if this is just his revenge for the dog comment. He really has to learn how to block his thoughts like Kaiba does, in order to prevent these trivial acts of vengeance.
And no, Jounouchi never acts trivial at all, no matter how much he pesters Honda to pay up that two hundred yen for that one bag of chips he mooched off of him three years ago.
"Kaiba." A little louder this time. Still no response.
Jounouchi taps his corporeal fingers on the table impatiently and opens his mouth to break their tentative truce because Kaiba's a dick, but he ends up closing it a few seconds later without making a sound. The teacher drones on. Kaiba sits quietly. Jounouchi watches.
He knows that Kaiba's tired. The man tries to hide it by blocking the link, but it's reaching the point where exhaustion makes those walls thin. Jounouchi realizes he can break through if he makes the effort, and while he probably won't be able to gain control of their body, he'd at least be able to hear Kaiba's thoughts.
It would serve him right, but Jounouchi doesn't do it. He hates Kaiba, he hates him with a passion he usually reserves for veggie dogs, but he can at least understand why the guy doesn't want to admit that he shares his mind with his irritating classmate. Or worse, that he's going insane and hearing voices in his head.
Jounouchi knows that even pulling out that chair, quietly and in the back of the room where no one could see him, still damaged his pride.
Yes, he hates Kaiba, but he wants to win in a fair fight, and somehow taking advantage of that exhaustion and frustration even when his rival doesn't want to give up seems like a cheap move.
So Jounouchi mimics Kaiba and sits silently, observing as the other types away on his laptop with a sort of mechanical obligation, thinking determinedly about numbers and stock and everything except Jounouchi.
That's how he learns it's possible to completely hate someone, but still feel the tiniest bit of sympathy for him, too.
Whoo. Chapter done. Please review? I'd love to know what you think. I'll even bribe you—for the low price of one review, receive a completely free and completely fantastic* KAIBAMAN TRADING CARD! In this limited edition one-time release, instead of having an awkward BEWD helmet and the girly long hair from GX, this KaibaMan sports nothing but a smokin' hawt thong**! That's right, summon this card on your duel disk*** to see him in all his holographic glory! Smexytimes~ ;D
*imaginary
**this may or may not be even more awkward than the BEWD helmet
***duel disk sold separately