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Chapter 3: Broken

Buttercup hung unmoving in Peeta's arm. The ugly cat was my very last connection to Prim besides my mom who has disowned me since Prim's death. Buttercup may have hated me but we both loved the same person, Prim. Prim's death flashed before my eyes. Her life rode with the smoke that engulfed her body. I could try to grab at the smoke, but it slipped through my fingers. My little Prim slipped through my finger.

"This is a fat one too" Peeta pronounced loudly. He must have not looked into my eyes to sense the pain running through my body.

"Peeta! That's Buttercup" The words slipped through my mouth as I ran to him.

"Who?"

Prim no longer owned the cat… She was 6 feet under. "That's my cat Peeta. You killed my damn cat."

"I'm sorry Katniss. I will buy you a new one from the capitol is a few days"

"You don't understand Peeta" My voice begins to crack and Peeta finally notices the sorrow swelling in my eyes. He slowly puts down the cat and pulls me into his chest. "That was Prim's cat before she left us." Tears form in my eyes; I finally lost everything that was Prim's. The mere thought of her actually being gone sends my mind spinning. This was the first time that I really had to face Prim's death with someone else.

"Oh Katniss, I am so very sorry" Peeta pulled my face to his and tried to kiss me. I quickly push him off of me, causing him to drop the cat on the floor. Buttercup hit the floor with a cold thud.

"I need to get the hell out of here. Away from a murderer" I screamed as I ran out the door, tears flowing from my eyes. I closed my eyes and kept running. I knew my body would take me to a place that would soothe my emotions. I never stopped running.

I finally opened my eyes to see a lake sparkling in front of me. This was the lake that my father took me to on the hot summer days; this is the lake where Gale took the survivors of the 12 bombing. I quickly pulled off all of my clothes and dived into the clear water. Being underwater is the only place that I can think clearly, even if I am the girl on fire. The water distinguishes my fire and allows my mind to think clearly without emotions.

'Did Peeta do it on purpose?' My mind becomes flooded with question so I dive deeper into the water. 'Did Peeta take away the last piece of Prim in my life?' I dive even deeper into the lake ignoring my body's plea for air. 'Did Peeta remove the last piece of happiness in my life?' My mind becomes fussy with lack of oxygen but I refuse to come up for air. 'Does Peeta even love me… Or are we still playing a game?'

Then the world goes black.

I awake to a white hospital room. My arms are attached to tubes and wires that lead into beeping machines. My head is pounding, my ears are ringing.

"Hey Catnip" I turn my head very slowly to see Gale big grey eyes staring at me. He eyes show sympathy, so I don't begin to question his company.

"Hi Gale"

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great but I am lucky to be alive" Both statements were a lie.

"I'm glad that you are too. I went hunting yesterday and saw your clothes at the lake. I called your name and you didn't answer. Then I saw you, not moving underwater. I saved your life Katniss". His word hit me at an incredible force. Gale saved me!

"Thank you Gale. I tried to swim off my worries after Peeta killed Buttercup" I pause as a nurse run into my room. She checks my monitor and leaves just as quickly as she came. I wait another minute than continued, "Where is Peeta"

"No idea. Haymitch can't find him"

I say no words; my body language speaks all the words I am unable to say. A single tear falls from my eyes onto my cheek. Gale slowly moves his hand to my tear. He swipes it away with one quick motion and leans into my face. Gale kisses me sweetly on the nose and a smile forms on my face.

"Thanks for being here for me"

"No problem Katniss "I doze off a few seconds later

I again wake up at the hospital, but Peeta is sitting next to me this time. His presence once made me feel safe, but now he makes me full of rage.

"Oh Katniss, I'm so sor- "

"Really Peeta? What are you sorry for?" I wait for an answer but all I get is silence. "Are you sorry for killing Buttercup? Are you sorry for not comforting me? Are you sorry for abandoning me?"

"I am sorry for anything I have done to hurt you" I notice Peeta's eyes begin to tear up but I quickly look away from him.

"Why did you let me go?"

"I had an episode Katniss" His response startles me and I regain my stare into his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes are still slightly cloudy, He is not lying.

"Now I am the jerk here. I didn't know, and I'm sorry" I do now really feel like a jerk. I can control myself at all times and Peeta sometimes can't. He couldn't control himself and I am angry at him for it. I have no right to be angry. It pains me to know that I became so angry at him when we couldn't even help himself.

"We both had a misunderstanding with each other today, which it common for couples" Peeta notices his mistake and quickly tries to backtrack "I ment for friends". Peeta and I have never been a real couple, we have only been a fake couple to keep us alive.

I nod in agreement and reach my hand out to his face. Peeta's face is stunning. His smile is tantalizing and his eyes are enchanting. I will never deserve this man. The same nurse from before enters my room in the same fashion as before.

"Mrs. Everdeen, you are free to leave" She quickly exists again before I can thank her. I never did see her face.

"Peeta can you help me home" I swing my legs over the bed as Peeta grabs my arms to steady me. We interlace hands. We walk back to my house in silence, just listening to the Mockingjays. Their tune is familiar but I cannot remember the words. Peeta pulls his hand away from mine, resting it back against my hip. He pulls me close to his side as we continue our short journey home. This small gesture causes me to blush and Peeta catches me.

"You look so beautiful right now" We stop walking and look into each other eyes.

"I don't deserve you."

"If that's true then I don't deserve you. We just need more time to figure each other out."

"I guess you are right, Peeta" We start walking again hand-in-hand until we arrive at the steeps at my house. He again sits on them and pulls me next to him.

"Question time!" He laughs a little between sentences, He must know how funny our game is. But we both really do need this game. "What is your favorite song to sing?"

"I love so many songs but my favorite right now is a song form a long time ago, before the dark days"

"Sing it for me Katniss, Please" I clear my throat and begin to sing

Some things we don't talk about
better do without
just hold a smile
we're falling in and out of love
the same damn problem

Together all the while
you can never say never
why we don't know when
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go,

Picture, you're the queen of everything
as far as the eye can see
under your command
i will be your guardian
when all is crumbling
steady your hand

You can never say never
why we don't know when
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go,

Mockingjays begin to repeat back my tune. They remind me such much of the two little girls that were lost in the capitol games, Prim and Rue.

"That was beautiful Katniss" Peeta places a kiss on my forehead.

"Now where is my question from you… Will you ever sing for me?" I heard from all the girls at school say that Peeta could sing, but this was before the games.

"Maybe one day. Now here is my last question of the night, Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course Peeta!" I giggle a little too girly after my words. Peeta doesn't seem to notice and places a kiss on my lips. This kiss is very different than our old kisses. Our old kisses were tentative and shy; This kiss is passionate and loving.

I finally feel peace with Peeta.