"My turn! Emmett truth or dare?"

Emmett smirked and said "Dare!" Edward smiled and said "I dare you to go on a treasure hunt" Edward looked at Alice, and she handed him a note pad and a pencil. She must have known this was coming. Edward and I created the list.

Emmett's treasure hunt list

1) go to the nearest drug store and buy snug fit condoms and say to the cashier "is this the smallest you have?"

2) Go to old navy and try on some mini skirts, then ask the sales woman how it looks.

3) go to Victoria's secret and have the lady measure you for a bra size then buy two new bras. (black and red with lace is recommended)

4) Go to star bucks and ask the guy at the register for his number after you say "Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I could see myself in your pants"

We handed the list over to Emmett, he frowned as he read it over. Then Edward cleared his throat and said "Roalie will be using our new video camera for this to. Right Rosalie?" Rosalie grinned at me and Edward and said "hell yeah!"

It took about a half an hour for Emmett to complete the list. Mean while I refused to look at Esme. This was to embarrassing. But when Emmett walked in with a rite aid bag, Victoria's secret bag, and an old navy bag, and a napkin I had to burst out laughing. Then wondered why is he holding a napkin? I forgot about this almost as soon as Rosalie walked in holdong a video tape smiling. "Put it in" I urged. She laughed and put it in the T.V.. We all huddled around the T.V. All of a sudden we saw Emmett in Rosalies BMW, he had a serious expression on. "tonight" He stated. "I have been given an assignment. It's dangerous, but I'm man enough to take it" He held up the list so we sould read it. "so first I will go to rite aid."

Then the tape went black for a second. Next we saw Emmett walking in rite aid singing 'my humps' shaking his hips. Then he swayed his hips(that's the only way to put it) over to the condom isle and tapped his chin "hmmmm". Then he choose a pack that said snug fit. While humming my humps he sauntered very femalely over to the register. "Hey you look lovely tonight" Emmett said to the poor guy behind the counter. "Uhhh thanks man?" The guy replied. Emmett just smiled. "I was actually wondering" He held up the pack of condoms "Do you have these in a smaller size?" I look at the guy behind the counter and realize he is in mine and Edwards biology class!! I elbowed Edward awarding myself with a bruise and he nodded.

The guy look stunned. "umm…I don't think so" Emmett turned and look straight into the camera and winked. "oh that's to bad" He said as he turned back to the guy. "Edwards got some plans with Bella tonight and he's to embarrassed about his 'condition'". Emmett made quotation marks around the word condition. "So he wanted me to pick them up for him." The guy yet again looked completely stunned. "Wow I didn't know Bella…Well thanks for shopping here" Emmett held up his hand. "wait see Eddie might be able to fill these out on a good night so I'd still like to buy them. If he's not man enough than I guess Edward and Bella could always make condom balloons"

The guy looked shocked. "Okay" and he rung them up as fast as he could and handed the bag to Emmett. "Thank you!" Emmett called. I was so stunned during the movie to react so as Edward sprang up and hit pause I started to laugh really hard. I knew I should be furious but its just to funny. Edward stared at me furiously. I managed to choke out the words "I didn't know you had a condition" Everyone started to laugh except Edward. He just stared at me. "You don't care that people think we're se-" He cut himself off. "care about what?" I ask. "that people think we're SEXUALLY ACTIVE!" Edward yelled but his voice came out kind of strangled. I laughed. "but we're not so it doesn't matter. You really are old fashioned 'sexually active' whats wrong with just saying having sex?" His jaw dropped. That just made me start laughing all over again. "okay just sit down. Lets finish watching the Emmett show" I said with fake enthusiasm.

He sat down but stared at me not the TV.. "what?" I asked after a minute. "You don't care if people think we're having sex?" I sighed he's not going to let this go. "Edward if people want to call me names other than klutz or clumsy, such as slut or whore than whatever i'll just ignore it. Plus nobody will blame me cause you can prove every girl at forks high school even the teachers and the gay guys want to have sex with you. But all in all were not having sex so what does it matter?" He just shook his head.

Then grinned. "Every girl? Does that include the most modest and blushing girl in school?" I look at Esme. This is kind of awkward. "Uhhh" I say blushing. "I'll take that as a yes then" Edward said with a smile in his voice. Ugh I hated it when he made me blush or embarrass myself especially in front of Esme. So I did what I thought was as close as I would ever come to getting back at him. "Edward its really to bad you cant fill out snug fit condoms. What a disappointment. Is there any other 'conditions' you want to tell me about?" While saying this I tried my best to keep a straight face, and succeeded.

Then Edward cracked a smile "Maybe one or two but I'll show you later". He winked and I blushed. Damn he always won! I turned to look at everyone, they all burst out laughing. When we all calmed down Rosalie hit play. The next clip was of Emmett walking into Old Navy. He was sashaying up to the women's side of the store. "excuse me" Emmett called over to a teenage Goth girl who had a name tag that read 'Abbey'. "could you help me find a mini skirt in my size?" Emmett said as the girl approached.

She gave him a once over not even cracking a smile. She said in a dull voice "what'd you do lose a bet?" Emmett smiled "something like that" The girl sighed. Then looked at Emmett's buff features and said "If you have any chance of fitting into anything we should go to the maternity section." Emmett nodded seriously. Then gave the hidden camera a thumbs up. He followed the Goth girl to the maternity section. They walked through the t-shirt section getting odd glances. Emmett just smiled and rubbed his stomach. They finally reached the skirt section. Emmett smirked. "Oh yes finally I can finally get on mini!" This awarded him with some snickers and frowns. Abbey just gave her 'I'd rather put a power drill to my head than do this' look. Emmett rubbed his hands together.

"Okay so what color do you think would go best with my complexion?" Emmett asked with curiosity and seriousness. Abbey roller her eyes and shoved a black, pink, and blue mini skirt. He looked at Abbey and said "Good choice you're a natural!" Abbey rolled her eyes and muttered "They don't pay me enough for this" Then she stalked towards the men's changing room. Emmett gave her a look and said "Stay here. I need your opinion. Okay?" "Whatever" She replied. And rolled her eyes. Somehow Rosalie got into the changing room. Well not somehow we all know she used her vampire skills. Then you see Emmett standing there in just his boxers jumping up and down trying to get on a skirt. The video was funny because as Emmett was doing this Rosalie was laughing silently so the camera was shaking. We all are laughing by this point. So when Emmett burst out

"Oh crap. Rose my boxers are longer than the skirt!" I cackled. Rosalie was now shaking so hard that it was really difficult to see what was happening. Rosalie said between laughs "Just…Roll…You…Boxers" She choked out. Emmett shrugged and rolled up his boxers and threw on a shirt then said "I need to know what Abbey thinks" Then he strutted out to show Abbey. She was still standing there tapping her foot. Then she saw Emmett and she snorted and cracked a smile but then it faded back into the 'I don't give a crap look'.

Emmett strutted up to her and twirled. She looked him up and down and said "It's fine it just a bet. Will you go already?" Emmett ignored her. "I think I'm going to buy all three…" She rolled her eyes. Then Emmett said in a sing song voice "I'll go if you smile"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth she flashed the biggest smile I have ever seen then stomped away to the faculty room. Emmett shrugged and headed towards the registers. I was laughing at Emmett's innocent expression. The guy at the register boomed "congrats man!" Emmett blinked "For what?" The guy looked down at the maternity skirts then at Emmett "dude your girls having a baby!"

Then Emmett said "Dude no I'm having the baby! Isn't that sweet?" The guy looked stunned. "Whatever dude" He muttered. Then checked out Emmett's items as fast as he could. Emmett walked away rubbing his 'pregnant' stomach, then said "I'll send you a picture!" The guy got a nervous look on his face. Then the tape said 'Memory full'

"Aw man! The tape ran out!" I groaned. Emmett shrugged and handed me the victoria's secret bag. "I picked something up for you" He said. I was scared to open the bag. Edward having read Emmett's mind started to laugh. I looked at him cautously. I opened the bag and pulled out a cheetah print thong. I looked at it and blushed. Then said "Thanks Emmett" sarcastically. Edward pulled it out of my hand "Oooohh I like it I think I have a new favorite animal" he said snickering.

Then Emmett said seriously "That's why we got you one too" Emmett held up a bigger cheetah print thong. He shot it at Edward. Not knowing how Edward would react I suppressed my laughter. Then Edward got up and pulled the thong up over his jeans started singing "I'm bringing sexy back". I looked at Edward shocked. Then I glanced at Jasper.

Of course Jasper made Edward a little to excited. I gave Jasper the best disapproving look I could considering a super hot guy was dancing around with a cheetah print thong on over his jeans singing sexy back wasn't enough to make you die from laughing, than considering he was my boyfriend made it funnier.

After about three minutes of him dancing around Jasper finally calmed him down. He came back and sat down next to me. I swear if a vampire could blush he would have been. "Edward" I said. "you need to remove that thong before I die of laughing." While saying this I was choking on every word as my laughter bubbled out. He looked at me sheepishly and stood up and removed the offending garment. That then sent me into a fit of giggles.

Then finally when I calmed down Emmett said "Bella that pick up line really worked, that guy at the register was really turned on" Then handed me the napkin was wondering about earlier.

It was a start bucks napkin with a note and a number. It said 'Hey I can see you in my pants too! Call me later 951-4568. Check ya later.-love ur luva Seth.' I burst out laughing. I have nothing against gay guys but the odds of Emmett using a pick up line on a guy that would actually respond was hilarious! But my laughter was cut short by Emmett saying "Hey Bella truth or dare?" Oh crap I thought.

Okay so that's the third chapter sorry about forgetting to space out the chapters earlier I fixed it!! SO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!