Hehe. Well, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Been a creative slump with this story, but I've got my second wind now!
*Disclaimer
Don't own Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, or Full Metal Alchemist.
Where? Konoha? Or was it Candy Mountain?
Sasuke opened his eyes.
The first thing he saw was an oddly coloured sky. Not cloudy, but somehow starless, covered in some sort of odd haze that hid the stars from view. The moon was half full, oddly brownish beneath the haze. Sasuke immediately leapt to his feet, sword drawn and at the ready as he observed his new and strange surroundings.
A field, on a lonely hill overlooking a strange village, with buildings taller than any that the dark warrior had ever seen before, and sparkling bright lights that were almost blinding. The most outrageous noises were coming from the village; honks and beeps and yelling and screaming and loud continuous sirens. As soon as one siren stopped another one would start.
Sasuke stared at the village in shock and confusion. What was this strange place?
"..Hn..."
Sasuke jumped as he heard a noise from behind him, whirling around with sword poised and charged with chakra.
Kakashi and Naruto were stretched out behind him, unconscious, and Kakashi was beginning to stir. Sasuke tensed, mentally chiding himself for not sensing them immediately.
I don't want to deal with them right now, thought the Uchiha, the last thing I need is a fight in an unfamiliar place. Or worse, they might want to make up and join forces in order to face this new challenge. Ick. Care Bears shit. No way is that happening.
Sasuke turned and immediately began descending the hill, towards the strange village below.
I've never seen a village like that...it could be a challenge...but I like a good challenge. Maybe some idiot will challenge me...that would be fun...very, very fun. I wish I could assess the situation a little more, but I don't feel like dealing with the closet pervert and the dobe right now. I can kill them after I've explored a little...
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoox
Kakashi opened his eyes (a/n, eye? Does he open his other eye? Does he ever close it?)
Hm....we're somewhere different...I can tell...the whole feel of this place is different....Naruto's right beside me, out cold, Sasuke is....not here....but....close.....Hn...I suppose I should get up and wake Naruto so that we can go after the bugger...
Kakashi sat up quickly, and turned, shaking Naruto roughly. The boy let out a moan and muttered something along the lines of:
'lemmealonegimmefivemorminutesnoonotthefryinpanSakura...,' Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but then leaned down close to Naruto's ear and muttered one word.
"Ramen."
Immediately, Naruto's eyes snapped open and he was on his feet in a flash.
"Ramen? Where! How much of it? Is it free? Where is it? I can't smell anything!" he cried, whipping his head back and forth as he searched frantically for his precious ramen. Kakashi would have chuckled if not for the present situation. "Naruto, we seem to have been transported to an unfamiliar place. I believe Sasuke was transported here as well, but he seems to have already gained consciousness and taken off," said the Copy ninja seriously. Immediately Naruto's eyes narrowed and he became serious. "Right. Any idea where we are, or which way Sasuke went?" he asked, looking around at the unfamiliar landscape. Kakashi sighed and looked down at the large, bright village below. "Well, Sasuke's not stupid, so I don't think he'd go headfirst into completely unfamiliar territory, however, he also probably wants to avoid a fight with us, which means he'd head for the place we were the least likely to go," he said, his hand on his chin thoughtfully. Naruto sighed, exasperated. "Kakashi, just spill it already! Where do you think he went?" he cried. Kakashi smiled from beneath his mask. "That way," he said, pointing towards the brightly coloured village. Naruto's eyes widened and widened and widened.
"Whoa! What village is that? Look at all those buildings! They're huge! And what are those noises? And look at all the lights! How many people live there? What-,"
"I don't know Naruto," said Kakashi with a sigh. "But I'm almost positive that's where Sasuke went." Naruto's eyes narrowed again and he clenched his fists.
"Then that's where we'll go too."
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoox
Sasuke growled as he came to yet another dead end. This whole village was a giant maze, filled with dead ends and complete freaks. Weird, monstrous things raced down the roads, and more people than all of Konoha and Suna combined raced back and forth. There was a never ending cacophony (isn't that word the best?) of noise, and the flashing bright lights were incredibly disorienting. Sasuke cursed Naruto and Kakashi for forcing him to flee here and began to turn around.
Then he froze.
"...I told you..."
"It can't really be...."
"It's him! It's Sasuke!"
"What the hell would that asshat Uchiha be doing here?"
"Don't insult my Saki-kun!"
"He is an asshat,"
"But such a sexy asshat..."
"Okay, so it's Sasuke, what do we do?"
"C'mon, we need to lure him back to the hideout. We can't get him with just the five of us. I have an idea...."
Sasuke didn't get that entire conversation, only hearing tidbits here and there, but he understood that there were five girls behind him that knew exactly who he was. The ninja turned around, eyes narrowed.
The five girls gasped as the Uchiha turned to face them, dissolving into giggles. Sasuke regarded them with contempt; they reminded him of the girls at the academy, carbon copies of Ino and Sakura.
A tall girl with short black hair stepped forward, smiling sweetly. "Sasuke, we have something you want," she cooed. The other girls joined in.
"Yeeees Sasuke, we have something for you."
"Something ammaaaazing,"
"Something wonderful!"
"You just have to come with us!"
"We're going to...er....uh...Candy Mountain!"
"Candy Mountain?"
"Yes, Candy Mountain! Where all the most powerful ninja techniques are born!"
"Yes Sasuke....we're going to Candy Mountain!"
"Candy Moooountain Sasuke!"
"We're going to Candy Mountain Saaasukeee!"
Sasuke stared at them blankly. Had they been hitting the sake bottles? They seemed a little young for that, but who knew?
"He's not buying it"
"Of course he's not! He's the goddamn duckbutt headed, asshat Uchiha! He's not an idiot!"
"You know what? Screw this. Let's glomp him."
"Amen sister!"
Sasuke sweatdropped as the five girls began to advance. "Do you girls," he growled menacingly, placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, "Have any idea who you're dealing with?"
The response to that comment was an eruption of extremely unnerving giggles.
"Oh, yes. Yes Saki-kun, we know exactly who we're dealing with."
"The almighty Uchiha survivor, Sasuke."
"Slayer of Orochimaru, Deidara, and Itachi."
"I still haven't forgiven you for killing Deidara-san,"
"Or Itachi-kun!"
"Yeah! Itachi was sooooo much better looking than you!"
"And he was much more awesome than your emo ass."
"Hey! Stop being mean to Saki-kun!"
"Yeah! Why are we insulting him when we could be glomping him?"
"Right. You get the rope, I have the handcuffs. Forward ladies!"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes, activation the sharingan as the girls once again began to advance. Immediately, they all squealed, giggling shamelessly as Sasuke's eyes glowed red.
"It's the Sharingan!"
"Oh my god, we're being Sharinganed! How awesome is this?"
"Do you think he can see through our clothes with that thing?"
"Teehee, who knows? But I wanna see under his clothes..."
"Attack!!!! Glomp the bastard!"
Sasuke's eyes widened as the five girls leapt at him, and the Uchiha quickly moved out of the way, appearing to have disappeared, and reappeared on the roof of a nearby building.
"Damn it! He escaped!"
"Don't worry, I'll call Mel! She'll assemble the girls and we'll corner him!"
"I think she's busy with something...her voicemail said something about Number Thirteen...."
"Train-kun?!" (1)
"No, not Train-kun you traitor. I think she meant Roxas!"
"Roxas! But how...."
The girl's conversation tapered away as Sasuke raced away across the top of the buildings.
Those girls were crazy, he thought. And yet...they knew so much about me...they knew of my kills, and of my eyes. It's so strange....what...is an asshat? (2) And...duck-butt headed? What is glomping?
The Uchiha frowned, puzzling over these new mysteries as he raced deeper into this new world.
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoox
"Kakashi, people are staring at us."
The white-haired shinobi looked at his blonde friend, who was staring at the large number of people around them with nervousness.
The two ninja had decided to take the straight forward approach and join in the crowd in the center of the city, to get a better feel for the people here and maybe receive some information. Right away, the two had noticed that they stood out, their clothes very different than those of the people around them. People were indeed staring. Not a lot of people, as the majority of the crowd seemed to be ignoring them, but enough people to make the two men uneasy.
"Maybe we shouldn't be so open like this. I don't think we'll get much information. Most of the people are talking into those small transmission devices, but they're not making much sense. Mostly there swearing and screaming and I think talking about....um...." Naruto trailed off, blushing.
Kakashi chuckled inwardly. The blonde was so innocent, it was adorable.
"You're right Naruto. Let's go somewhere less crowded and think up a battle plan."
The two of them began picking their ways through the crowd, escaping into a small back alley away from the busy street. Naruto and Kakashi continued walking, finding themselves in a small back street, with various buildings.
Naruto stiffened and looked towards the left, blue eyes narrowed. "Kakashi-sensei!" he hissed. "I know, someone...a group of someone's, is here," said the Copy Ninja.
"This is horrible! Those crazy girls....they stole Roxas!"
"This is really bad. We just got here; we're not at all familiar with the area....who knows where they took him?"
"I'm really sorry about your friend....I wish there was something we could do to help."
"Like hell! Al, we've got ourselves to worry about here! We can't go lending ourselves out to others!"
"Ed! Don't be so mean!"
"Stop fighting you two, you'll attract unwanted guests! We're in unfamiliar territory here!"
"....what about Roxas? He's in unfamiliar territory too! Those girls...oh god, who knows what they could be doing to him!"
Naruto and Kakashi tensed as five strangers emerged from a decrepit purple building conversing and bickering and swearing in turn.
They froze.
Three of them seemed to be teenagers, with one man and a little blonde kid (teehee, sorry Ed).
They were all looking at them with startled expressions. Suddenly, two of the teenagers, one with spiky brown hair and the other with long silky silver hair, held out their hands, and in a bright flash of light, a blade appeared in both.
Whoa! Thought Naruto, his eyes widening. Was that some sort of summoning jutsu? Who can summon that fast?
The little blonde kid narrowed his eyes and clapped his hands together, electricity crackling along his arms as his right one transformed into a long metal blade (3).
"Who the hell are you two!" he snarled. Naruto blinked in surprised, and then his eyes narrowed. "Wow! Big talk for a little kid!" he shot back. The third teenager, with sandy blonde hair went completely white, and turned to the little kid. "Wait! Onii-chan! He didn't mean-,"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE PIPSQUEAK WET-BEHIND-THE-EARS KID WHO IS SO LITTLE THAT ANTS WOULD STEP ON HIM AND SO SMALL THAT HE IS ATTACKED BY GERMS THAT ARE TWENTY TIMES HIS SIZE AND IS SO LITTLE THAT A CHIHUAHA COULD TAKE HIM ON!!!!!" screamed Ed, jumping on Naruto and brandishing his sword threateningly.
"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" shouted Naruto, quickly making a hand sign.
Immediately, about twenty Narutos surrounded Ed, all making various taunting faces at him.
"Bah! Stupid shorty!"
"Little kid, can you get all of us?"
"Betcha never seen so many awesome ninja, have ya?"
"What's wrong, you all talk and no fight?"
"Show us what you got, kid!"
Ed's face was bright red as he stepped off the original Naruto, his whole body shaking with suppressed rage.
"What...did you...say?" he muttered through clenched teeth, his eyes murderous.
Roy Mustang chuckled. "I don't know who you two are, but I'd stop provoking him. He's not as little as he seems. He's actually a very dangerous, very short-tempered State Alchemist, so you might want to step off and treat him with some respect. While you're at it, why don't you tell us who you are?" said the former Bastard Colonel.
"We're shinobi from Konoha, and we're not here to provoke anybody. Right Naruto?" said Kakashi, his eyes glaring steely at his young friend. Naruto mumbled something unintelligible before dispelling his Shadow Clones and standing up.
"Shinobi? What are those? Where's Konoha? Never heard of it!" said Sora, his blue eyes wide.
"WHAAAAT??!!!!!!! YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF KONOHA!!!! JUST WHAT TYPE OF BACKWATER VILLAGE DID YOU COME FROM!!!!" exclaimed Naruto in disbelief.
"Destiny Islands, thank you very much. We didn't get out much until about two years ago, and since then, we've been around quite a bit. Seen a lot of places, and have never heard of Konoha. Makes you wonder what type of backwater village it is," said Sora coolly, tightening his hold on the Keyblade.
Naruto narrowed his eyes and took an angry step towards the brunette.
"Yeah, I've never heard of Konoha either. Or a shino-whatsit. I've been around quite a few places myself. So, you gonna tell us who you are, and what the hell a shinobi is?" said Ed, before Naruto could do anything, moving to stand beside Sora.
There was silence. You could practically see the waves of animosity passing between Naruto, Sora an Ed.
"O-Onii-chan...." said Al, sweatdropping nervously.
"Fullmetal, now's not the time..." started Roy, exasperated.
"Hey, Sora, wait a sec...." said Riku, at a loss as to what to do.
"Naruto, maybe we should...." began Kakashi.
And that's when all hell broke loose.
Teehee. Well this was sort of fun. I have a feeling that there's going to be a lot of Sasuke torture in this fic, because it is my greatest wish that the asshat be hit by a truck, however sexy he may be.
Next chapter might have what happened to Roxas in it. I make no promises! Though it will involve our heroes being thrust into new and terrifying situations....
(1)Train from Black Cat, Number Thirteen of the Chronos numbers, and an extremely awesome guy. Seriously. I love him!
(2) Okay, I made up that term when Sasuke first started acting like a total dickweed. Somehow, asshole, was no longer a strong enough term and one day, I just started screaming 'ASSHAT!' at the computer screen. Then, when I called him an asshat in front of my friend, she looked up the meaning.....yeah. It's actually a real word. Don't look up the meaning.
(3) Yeah....Ed still has metal limbs...why, you ask? Because I said so! Or, if you want, the gate took his arm and leg again because it was petty and had gotten used to having them. There you go.