April 12th
The wind picked up drastically, the chill of the air stinging my face lightly as I walked out of King's Cross station. The house elf had returned it back home while I was to go with the Blacks to their house where I would Floo home. I remained silent as I walked outside where a car was waiting with Mrs and Mr Black. I wasn't sure how my mother would react to what had happened the previous day, but I knew when I got back to school, I had two weeks detention with Sirius, and the six Slytherins.
A sigh escaped me as I looked down at the carpeted flooring in the car. Regulus was sitting next to me as the ministry driver drove us to the Black's house on Grimmauld Place. I glanced up and over to Regulus who's lip was vaguely cut, but his facade was full in place, his look was plain and placid. He didn't seem to be affected by what had happened. I closed my eyes and sat back against the seat, resting my head on the side of the car.
The car ride was a deep silent, the light hum of the Muggle radio playing out as the car rumbled against the ground. The engine was the loudest, and as it stopped at the streets, the rumble grew louder as the car sat in a single place before the light. I opened my eyes and glanced outside, seeing a lot of people walking around the street. London was in full swing in the evening, but it was a Saturday.
The car pulled up in front of numbers 11 and 13 as we all pulled ourselves from the car, making our way to stand in front of them. I remembered the place easily, Number 12. It was a good minute later before the house appeared, and the four of us entered through the front door. The place was set up nicely, although the dark aura of the place still hung in place, as it had for years.
I heard the soft sound of movement from the living room arm chair. I paused in the hallway, my body tensing as I knew that it was not Kreacher, their house elf. Something was heavy that moved across the floor. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep and silent breath as I realized what it was- a snake. A very large snake.
Regulus stopped before walking into me, "What's wrong?" he asked under his breath, obviously unaware that someone was in the other room. I didn't speak, I didn't think it was possible for me to speak. He set a hand on my shoulder, and I could tell then that he could feel how tense I had grown. "Athena..." he ushered me, "You can't just stay here."
I glanced at up at him from over my shoulder, "He's here, Regulus."
Regulus nodded slightly. He must have known. I turned back to face forward, Regulus giving me a light push to make my legs start to walk once more. He guided me into the living room after his parents and I saw out of the corner of my eye the handsome, once known as, Tom Riddle, who most called The Dark Lord. He had dark brown hair, curled softly, and his skin was rather pale, and his eyes seemed dull, but with some form of passion for what he was pursuing. This was the one that many feared, and I could clearly see why.
I closed my eyes, trying to steady my breath which had took to a rapid pace with my heart when I caught sight of him. After I felt I had enough control over myself, I opened my eyes, and turned to him, my hazel eyes meeting his dark brown, blood shot, and snake like eyes. I wasn't sure if you were suppose to look at him in the eyes, but I now knew that I would no longer be able to suppress the horrors of my thoughts from the last time I met him, although then, it was about midnight and I had been in bed for a good three hours and was not fully aware of what was going on around me.
"Miss Snow, it's been a while," he said curtly as he rose from his chair, myself unable to peel my eyes off of him. He was a half blood, and yet he acted like he was some noble status, calling me by that name. It was better than him calling me by my first name, that would seem to intimate, and he didn't know me like that, nor was he apart of my house and knew me as such.
I inclined my head, letting him know that I was aware of his presence, and that I was not going to speak until he asked me a direct question. To speak before anything else, I may have spoken out of turn, and in a flash I would have been killed. My hand found it's way to my hair, my dark auburn locks looking near black in the dim light of the flames from the fire place.
"I'm well aware that you know why I'm here, Miss Snow," He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named stated, and I wanted to just step back, walk out of the room, but I forced myself to stay in place. Regulus had taken a spot leaning against the fire place near me, and my eyes flickered over to him momentarily, my anger a little upset with him about knowing this and not saying anything.
"I was not aware that you would be here today, Sir," I told him politely, "I had thought in my mind I would not be meeting with you until I was of age."
"Plans have prevented me from arriving on your birthday, Miss Snow, and I had arranged to meet with you today," he told me. I was hesitant, was he to expect me to join right here and now?
"Sir, if you will forgive me," I said after a moment of silence, "If you expect me to join today, sir, I am not ready. I had wished to speak to my parents before hand, and the only way that would have been possible is when I arrived home today. Discussing such matters through post would be most ridiculous, and while I was attending school, I would not have been able to meet with my parents without being under the impression of suspicion from Dumbledore, or any other that would be on his side.
"Thus, I had hoped that these few days would be with the safety of my home, and with the presense of my family," I told him, "Is there a time on a later day that we are able to meet, Sir?"
He rose from the chair and crossed the room to me. I could see a flicker of annoyance in Walburga Black's eyes, disapproving of my choice of words. Orion Black looked almost approving of what I said, thinking it was reasonable. Regulus must have come to him before he had joined, and liked the thought of being able to talk things through, to know what was to be expected.
"A very good point, Miss Snow," he told me as he took my left hand and raised it up, "And I am pleased to know that you have considered all of this, most join blindly, and fully into it, unaware of what to expect. You have an intellect that is most admired, Miss Snow.
"I see now, why you have been placed in Ravenclaw. A Slytherin heart, indeed, resides inside you, but your mind, so well layed out and a mind great at thinking things through. You will be far great in our cause, Miss Snow, you will be able to relay our message better than any other," he rested his hands on my shoulders, and I swore my heart stopped for that moment as my hand hung in the air momentarily before falling back to my side.
He wasn't to tall, but he was tall in a way, about the same height as Sirius, and with the proximity of him so close to me, I could see then, as I gazed up into his eyes, that they were more snake-like than what I had thought. Slits in each, his eyes a strange copper, and the darkness was below his eyes, obvious from a lack of sleep. I could tell from this moment that at one point in time, when he was my age, up until probably his plans had come into full, he was probably the most handsome man in his years.
My mind had drawn blank with how close he was and everything he had said. He thought that I was intellegent, why shouldn't he? I was a Ravenclaw after all. I could feel some sort of pride in myself over his words, and although his cause was something I should support due to my status of as a noble class witch, there was something odd in the way he was going about it.
"Now, I shall let you leave to your home," he said stepping away from me, and gesturing towards the fire place. "Talk to your parents, and before you leave back to school, we shall meet once more."
I nodded, my eyes glancing over to the fire place, "Thank you, Sir."
When I sat down at the dining room table, my hazel eyes found my mother matching ones. She was delicately placed, leaning against the marble topped counter in our country side home, her beige skin seemed rather toned more than during the winter, meaning that she had escaped to the islands while I was at school. Her blond top had been sun dyed, giving her many different tones, lighter and darker, making her almost appear American.
Her lips pursed together, "You're still alive, I see, and yet no mark upon your arm," she began, "You did not turn him down did you?"
"Had I turned down the Dark Lord, Mother, I would not be sitting in front of you here and now," I said, examining her long sleeved Muggle looking turtle neck top, the black contrasting greatly with her hair. The black, of course, made her appear more lean and thinner, something I knew my mother prided on, her body. "I am to meet with him in a couple days, but first I had asked to speak to you and father before I made my final decision. I wished to know what was expected, and what I would be doing. I am not one to rush into something so great until I have the facts and details layed out before me. You have known me long enough to not expect anything less."
"And he has granted you this, apparently," she said curtly, her hazel eyes looking an almost radiant green. She leaned forward more, the mug of hot chocolate in her hand steaming between us. "What is it that you wish to know, Athena? Why you have been chosen before others to join, although you are not a Slytherin?"
"I have thought of that, yes," I nodded, "But I have all ready come up with a sufficient answer that you nor father can deny.
"You wish for me to join, my knowledge is great, and my mind far superior. Had I not to join the Dark Lord and his cause, I would surely have gone to Dumbledore, his enemy, and something that you, nor the Dark Lord wish for," I told her, "To think that my intellect could be anywhere else but with the cause that you are so dearly for would be obscured. I am most sure this is what you had thought, and thus, before asking me for my choice or if I wish to live my own life, you sold your own child's life away.
"All that you had ever wanted was for blood purity to rule over all, for the muggles and muggle borns to be punished, to half the half bloods realize that they are below us in every way, and to have those of pure status, but not of noble status as us, to feel they are inferior to us. With my thought pattern, you were sure that I would easily persuade all to follow the Dark Lord, hence why father inconspicuously have placed me on an inter-ship starting this summer in the hope that I will grow my way into the ranks of the Ministry and be one on the inside.
"Had I not been smart enough to see all this, I would have easily allowed myself to be placed in Slytherin, and to do as you wish," I paused, my mother had arched an eyebrow, apparently unaware of all that I had knew. "I am also rather keen to know that since you have thus ruined my life by selling my soul to him, I have no choice but to feign my allience until I am killed for not obeying all laws in which the Dark Lord has placed on your kind," I sniffed the word with disgrace. "You have given me life into this world, I am aware. To say that you can easily take it, is of course, in my mind. You will not, however, attack your own daughter, one in which you wish so dearly to continue yours and your husbands name and line. You do not wish to be so ashamed of a child as the Blacks have, and yet they merely disowned Sirius. Had I down the same, and had you not appeared so accepting, I would surely be living with some blood traitor, or worse, a Muggleborn and her family."
Before my mother could say anything more, I spoke up, "As glad as I am that I am not in that situation, I am still ashamed that you have done such a thing to me. You don't worry anything about where you're going to be, who you're going to impress, and most importantly, how you're going to run your child's life. A rule to all that is to not allow your child to become superior than you in any way or form," I paused, watching her mutely for a moment before continuing, "I am telling you this now. It was never my intention to join the Dark Lord, nor was it to start at the Ministry. I had wished to live a passive life, and maybe even go to New Zealand for an exploration or two. My life as I had dreamed it, will never come true, I am aware of that. I also am aware that am I ever to bare a child, I will not do to her as you have done to me."
I stood up from the chair, "I am sorry to have to tell you all this. I know you are truly loyal to him, and thus I have nothing more to say other than I will be loyal as well. The thought of death will loom with me for a lifetime, and soon, I know he shall fall. Just know, at that point, he will no longer be my lord, and you will no longer be my mother. Death comes to all of us at some point in time. No one is immortal."
I turned and left the dining room and left up to my own room. I could hear the crash of the mug that had been in my mothers hand as she threw it harshly against the ground, her calls to our house elf to "clean up this mess this instant!"
I smirked, my mother was so easy to get under the skin of. She only wished to raise up in the social status, and not care how she got it. It was sad that her own envy and greed had got a hold of her as such, but it was, to me, a key element in my relationship with her. Also the fact that I knew about the affair she had held with the Ministers assistant, she tried to remove it from my memory, but with a couple turns of illegal magic, the memory was safe in a vile for my own keeping.
My father was much different than my mother. He knew how to keep control of his emotions, and he was one to fear. My third year Winter Holiday, Sirius had come over one day while my parents were out, and my father saw him leaving that night. The next time he saw Sirius, he threatened to kill him off permanently from the life which he lived. His parents, of course, had no objections. Ever since that day, my father had always watched over me, rather closely.
When I stepped into my room, it looked nearly untouched. My blue and silver sheets sitting in perfect place, my bed perfectly made. Hanging around my walls were pictures, moving and some frozen in place. Decorating one wall was a wizard actor that Helen insisted I got into. I have thus hidden that he has become my favorite, and that his decorating one of my walls was basically to please her. One another wall held the large sun room window. The deep green curtains contrasted with the blue linen, but they had been there since I was born, my parents had subjected me to Slytherin colors, something I still liked. Green was a great color on me, much better than blue, but blue was my house.
By my bed was my nightstand. Upon opening it, I saw the letter, my first Hogwarts letter that I had received on my eleventh birthday. It was clumpled and a little torn, but that was only from it being stuffed in jackets, robes, and books over the years, and now it lied in its place. Beneathe it was a small picture book that I had received from the Blacks for my eleventh birthday. It contained pictures from when I was a child. Most containing Regulus, since Sirius was, at the time, a disgrace to the family.
Flipping through the book, I sat on my bed, it giving a small creak as my weight seemed so foreign to it. I stopped on one page, it was all the kids. I was eight in the picture. Regulus was on one side of me, Sirius on the other, his nine year head looking around rather adventurous before looking back to the camera, a grin plainly seen on his face. Behind us were Bellatrix and Narcissa, Andromeda absent due to her leaving and marrying a Muggleborn. She was at the time of the picture, pregnant with her child. I had seen her once, a metamorphmagi child.
I brought myself back to the picture before me. I looked at it, my expression in it looked so set, as if any other emotion was non exsistant. My smile looked so faux to me, I was amazed my parents had come to believe it. Next to me, Regulus' lips stayed in a perfect line, his eyes looking rather curious to his brother behaiver, but non the less, stayed focused on the camera. We seemed so trained then, no wonder why were had our souls signed to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.
A light shudder ran down my spine as I quickly closed the book and stuffed it in the drawer once more as I looked up right as my door opened.
Tall, nearly half a foot over six, broad shouldered, aristocratic features, graying hair that was pulled in a tight, slicked back tie on his neck, narrowed black beads for eyes, his eye brows looking twice to big for his face, and his mustache looking like an alive caterpillar as his lips twitched into a rather unappealing sneer. He wore nice black robes, the silver coat on his breast signifying his high status in the Ministry. It had been three months since I was last encountered with him, "Father," I said simply, "Is something wrong?"
I rose from my bed as he took three steps towards me, "You..." he seethed, "How dare you talk to your mother that way!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, Father," I told him with a rather undertone of a smug, but I feigned an innocent and emotionless facade.
"You will be loyal to the Dark Lord, you will do which is asked of you, and you will not put shame on our family name!" he said approaching me rapidly. My father was a good foot taller than me, and about two of me wide. Overall, he was a rather intimating man. Even I was afraid of him, "You are to not see that blood traitor Black anymore either. You're friendship with him has now ended!"
My eye brows raised into my hairline as I stared at him, "And who's to say that when I return to school I will not secretly meet with him, father?" I challenged.
"Who said anything about you returning to school?" he asked with a quirk in his voice.
"Because, although many Death Eaters are all ready at Hogwarts, all are in Slytherin, and thus, none can get close to Dumbledore or his serving for the good, Gryffindors," I shrugged, "Unless, of course, you would rather me notbe an asset to the Dark Lord, which I don't think he would be very pleased with," I stated, knowing this was a true factor, "If I were to immediately cut off any and all connections with Sirius or any other non-Slytherin counter part, me being a Death Eater would be easily stated, and I will be killed, or worse, sent to Azkaban to rot for years and ruin our good name."
My father paused for a moment, "You are right, I suppose," he frowned, "But to speak to your mother in that way, and about the Dark Lord... You will be punished for this."
"I am sure of it," I inclined my head, "But I grow weary from my journy today, and wish to rest. You may punish me to what you see fit in the morning. A good night is what we all need."
I watched him closely as he turned and left my room, the dark feeling of this weeks events looming over my head as I sat back down on my bed with a heavy sigh. This was not going to be a very pleasant week, and it was all ready starting off badly.
April 15th
A rain came the previous night, much to the dislike of my cousin who came to stay with us for the week until my birthday celebration was over. Cynthia was not one to get wet, and she even hated to bathe because of the water. She was always scared of them, and her poor old mother was practically a mere-person, living in the water, and was in great disappointment when Cynthia did not wish to go near the water.
"The swelling is going to go down by Friday evening right?" Cynthia asked me as I sat on the window sill, pulling out some of my unfinished homework for the break.
"It should," I said, my hand brushing against the side of my face that was still swullen from Sunday, "Punishment for anything is nothing compared to what could happen if I crossed paths with a Slytherin," I shrugged.
"I heard about that," Cynthia told me, "Noble from Spain, right?"
"How did you hear about it?" I asked her, looking up from the parchment in front of me.
"Word spreads, Marius heard from Anthony Call," she shrugged, "And Marius is my husband after all, so one would assume I would hear these things."
"So then you know what happened?" I asked her as I tried to focus on my potions essay.
"Not exactly, except that you took on two seventh year Slytherin girls, one being of Noble status, and you came out alive," she told me, her black eyes scanning me.
"Amazingly enough," I huffed, "Had Regulus not shown up..."
"Regulus Black?" Cynthia chimed in, "What a charming boy." I glared at her, if she had wished for me to tell a story, she shouldn't interrupt. "Go on."
"I was with Sirius, we were on our way back to the castle-"
"What were you two doing? I know of Sirius' reputation!" Cynthia said with a mischief in her eyes.
"We were talking. Sirius is the closest thing I have to a best friend," I frowned, "Which is rather disappointing."
"I know, because then your stuck in that friend area, and Sirius is such a flirt," she sighed, "Even if he is a Blood Traitor, he's a Black, and I don't know a single Black who hasn't had their beauty match by any."
"You're such a child molester," I rolled my eyes, one of the couch pillows being thrown my way. "Besides, as handsome as Sirius is, he is just my friend. His friends have been trying to set us together, those ungrateful Gryffindors."
"Ugh, Gryffindors, just as bad as Hufflepuffs," Cynthia complained, "I was so fortunate that both Marius and I landed in Slytherin. Our loyalties were never questioned."
"I am aware of that," I sighed, "But as a Ravenclaw..."
"And of Noble status..." Cynthia added, and it was silent as we both took it in. "Are you scared? Have you made up your mind?"
"The world, to most, is divided between good and Death Eater," I began, "For others like ourselves, it is between Death Eater and Death. I don't know about you, but I don't think a death certificate should be coming with my name on it any time soon."
"So you've sold yourself," Cynthia breathed out.
"No," I shook my head, a slight amusement playing in my tone, "My parents sold me."
Cynthia nodded, understanding, "I'm sorry."
"I've come to accept it. I've come to see that I am a Noble Pure Blood, one cannot expect less. I will serve the Dark Lord as I see fit, not to what he sees fit, not to what my parents see fit. I am not some witless Slytherin that follows him blindly. No one is immortal, Cynthia, and I will prove that to the fools who think that their precious Dark Lord is."
I closed my book with my parchment, knowing I would not be getting this done any time soon, "I'm going to take a walk."
"Where too?" Cynthia asked quickly, "You're going to leave me here alone? While it's raining?"
"You can manage," I shrugged, "And you don't need to know where I'm going."
Cynthia frowned but said nothing more as I grabbed my winter cloak and pulled the hood over my head as I left through the front door. I walked through the rain for a bit before I stopped, hearing the noise of someone Apparating. I turned to see who I was expecting. I smiled and inclined my head slightly, my hair falling into place to cover the swelling that I had attempted to hide with some make up.
"Sirius," I breathed as he stepped towards me.
"I got your owl this morning," he said with a frown, "Where do you want to go?"
"Away from here for this moment," I told him as he grabbed my hand and before I knew it, he had Apparated away and to the Leaky Cauldron. I landed with a soft plop onto the cold stone floor. I looked around, my hood still upon my head as he led me through the back, waving to Tom, the bar tender, as he made our way towards the back to reach Diagon Alley. "Potter and the rest of your lot isn't around, are they?"
"No, Peter stayed at Hogwarts, and so did Remus. James is at his parents house. They're spoiling him, and I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron as to not burden the Potters this week," he told me as we walked towards no where in particular, "Now tell me," he stopped as he turned away from the busy streets and outside some old abandoned shops. His hands reached up and pushed down my hood, pushing back my hair, "When did this happen and who did it?"
He tilted my chin to the side and skywards for a better look as his other hand pushed back my hair carefully, as to not touch it. "It's a couple days old, and I brought it on myself, Sirius," I told him, my eyes darting around, making sure no one that would do damage was around.
Sirius lowered my chin again and pulled my hood back over my head, "Best to not let you be seen like this," he said before lowering his voice more, "or with me."
"You know I don't mean for it to be that way," I frowned, my fear of being seen with Sirius outside of school unnerved me. "When he is gone, I know that it will no longer matter."
"It should have never mattered," he sighed, shaking his head, "We all make mistakes..."
"For you, life is about good and Death Eater, for me it's Death Eater or Death, and somehow, I think being dead does little help in bringing down him. Forgive me as I say this, but my life sucks," I said with a small bit amusement trailing out of my voice, "It's not mistakes, it's life."
"Lily told me that once," Sirius mused as he stepped out of the rain and under the awning of one of the closed shops, "She said that life is about what we do, mistakes and all."
"When did she say this? After she confessed her love to James Potter?" I teased as I looked up at his through my hood, his grey eyes looking off in the distance past me. Some mystic light seemed to dance about them as he glanced down at me with a smirk playing at his lips. I realised then, "She did, didn't she!" I couldn't help but laugh, a pure, fun laugh. One that I hadn't had in what felt like forever, not sense the ominous feelings and fears I've had over the last month.
"Don't tell her I told you that," he said in a hushed tone, though his voice was filled with great amusement. I suppose he hadn't heard me so laughing care free in a while too, and it was nice, but then it brought back the pain of reality, of what was happening.
"Sirius, I'm scared," I stated, "My birthday is this Friday, and I've met with him once this week alone!"
"What?!" Sirius said, startled by the sudden change of topic, "You met with Voldemort?"
"I didn't know I was going too! I mean, I was suppose to go to Number 12 and Floo home, but instead, I go there and he's there, and I talked my way through him, and got home without being branded a Death Eater!" I felt myself shaking a bit, the memory I wasn't to fond of. "By the time I return to Hogwarts, Sirius, I'm going to be one of them... a Death Eater." My words trailed out nearly silently, my fears relating through them.
"I don't think I can do it," I said looking up at him, "Sirius, I am not one of them, I never have been!"
"We both were one of them, Athena," Sirius told me, "Think about it. The way we were raised, we were born to be one."
"But you escaped! Why couldn't I?" I asked him, turning and walking out into the rain, "Why did I have to be placed in Ravenclaw?"
"Well, would you rather be in Gryffindor or Slytherin? Or worse, Hufflepuff?" Sirius asked me.
"I'm not brave, Gryffindor would maul me, and Slytherin..." I paused at the shudder went visibly down my spine, "I cannot imagine myself as one..."
"Nor can I, and thus why I am not one," Sirius said as he leaned against the wall behind me, "Why don't you just run away?"
"It's not that easy, Sirius!" I cried out, "I will be killed for not joining. It really is death or Death Eater!"
"It doesn't have to be," Sirius said walking over and touching my shoulders, my eyes shooting up towards his, a flash of the Dark Lord passing through my mind. Sirius was standing just like he had been at Grimmauld Place. I stumbled back, staring at Sirius, "What's wrong?"
"I... I don't know Sirius," I breathed out, "I'm going mental here!"
"No, you're not," Sirius said sternly, "Don't ever say that."
Something caught the corner of my eye, two people walking around the corner from Knockturn alley. Narrowing, I moved behind Sirius, to make sure they couldn't see me. Sirius glanced over his shoulder to see who it was, catching their attention. I cursed silently as I heard Anthony Call's voice, "Hey look who it is, Snape."
"A lost little Black sheep," the greasy haired seventh year prefect stated.
"Who's that with him? Some mistress, I see," Anthony Call sneered, "No matter where you are, Black, you're always going to be a little whore among the women."
I blushed a deep crimson, nearly as dark as my hair as I tried to look the other way, stay hidden. "Sirius, don't do anything," I whispered sharply as I grabbed his arm to stop him from pulling out his wand, "You can't draw attention to me."
"Listening like a dog now, are you Black?" Anthony Call laughed, "Stay boy, stay! Good boy!"
A noise that sounded much like a growl came from Sirius' throat as he turned towards Anthony Call and Severus Snape. Of course, they were seventeen, eighteen years old, and could easily use magic legally. Poor little me, sixteen for another couple days, can't use magic without getting caught. Although, it is Diagon Alley, and the Ministry couldn't tell if it was underaged or legal aged magic, it was best not to for the sake of not getting caught.
Next thing I knew, Sirius' wand was raised, along with Anthony and Severus' and a silent battle pursued on before me, and I just stood their dumbly watching them. This was the second time within this last week that a little house rivalry battle had taken on before me, and I was thankful that the Spanish Noble wasn't around for me to querrel with. These battles, however, never turned out good in the end.
A/N: Sorry it's been so long. I swore I had posted this and the following two chapters. I'll get those out in the next couple days! I was trying to figure out why I had only 3 reviews for this story! haha. Well, any thoughts? It's so weird, this writing, and it's different than how I've been writing recently. Although my new writing isn't the best, to be honest. I'm just not on beat right now. Well, I'll update tomorrow and the day after. :)