"I know it's going to be bad for you, Jacob. I understand that—maybe better than you think. I don't like her, but… she's your Sam. She's everything you want and everything you can't have."
-Leah Clearwater, Breaking Dawn
Jacob ran, his mind- the wolf's mind, focused solely on one goal. Bella Swan.
Dodging through the trees with no clear idea or direction toward home, unable to even see the sun for a compass. For weeks he had pushed himself to run North, moving erratically, zigzagging across the Canadian Rockies. Though the wolf howled in protest, he had blocked out his brothers, not once allowing their mind to touch his. It had angered the wolf, yet satisfied the man inside to do battle and rage against the pain which consumed him. He was fighting against all those who had torn his life to shreds.
When the visions of Bella assaulted him this morning, the wolf was furious. The thin, invisible cord binding the two had snapped and now... a war raged deep within. Man and wolf were no longer one, or perhaps had never really been. Before his wolf had been at peace, its dominant nature sated by simply being in close proximity to the young girl who had accepted him so freely. Now, the red wolf clawed at the man from the inside out, demanding and violent. The images of Isabella Swan through the mind of his pack had stretched the bonds of his will far beyond the breaking point. The wolf demanded her not as friend and ally, nor even as imprint, but rather he insisted upon taking her for life-partner and mate.
There would be no peace until her calming presence consumed the warrior once more. The man in him could no longer fight it.
The wolf would stake a claim.
Man gave in willingly to the wolf, allowing him to drive their actions by thousand-year-old instinct and raw animal mentality. It was not just Bella that the wolf wanted to dominate, but the pack as well. The alpha was going to assume his place and fulfill his destiny. No longer would he settle for being the lone wolf or the right arm of their leader. The warriors would willingly bow before him or he would take his place amongst them by force. They would be his brothers no more. They would become his children, to lead and train for one purpose and one purpose only. To rid the earth of the vile abomination of man known as vampire.
Bella was to be the catalyst.
Glimpsing into the mind of his pack, Jacob found that he had ten days left. Ten days before the love of his life bound herself to the undead and became a stain on the face of humanity. The wolf snarled viciously in response, digging his claws deeper into the muddy earth, jettisoning forward with the force of a fiery rocket.
Man and wolf finally agreed. Bella would be theirs, whether she liked it or not.
The time for wallowing in his own misery was over. Jacob had enough and made a decision. He wasn't giving up. Things would be different this time. Gut instinct, determination and the grim images of Bella told him so. This time he would win. This time, she would let Edward go. The wolf inside would allow nothing else... and the man agreed.
First, I have to figure out where in the fuck I'm at.
Jacob sprinted through the trees, slid down snow-covered mountainsides, swimming across vast lakes, paying no heed to the clear, pristine wilderness untouched by man. All he needed was a road. Just one. North, South, East or West didn't matter. One sign to figure out how far he had really gone... and how long it would take him to get back to Bella.
Sensitive wolf ears finally picked up the faint sound of an engine racing down a distant highway. He followed it. Jacob inched closer to the road, far enough to not be seen, but still able to view anything that would give an indication of where he was at. Eyes peeled for a flash of bright green and white, he spotted what it was he was looking for and skidded to a halt. There it was. The worst part? He was running in the wrong direction. Quickly, he spun around and started to sprint southwest. Jacob could feel the mental flames of his pack in the far recesses of his mind, poking and prodding for a glimpse of what was to come. He opened fully to them now, needing to know how long it would take before he reached home.
Alberta 82 Kilometers.
The highway marker slammed into their consciousness, just as the bright fire of his mind burst into a towering flame, branding them like an iron.
"Shit Jake! How fucking far did you run?" Quil's voice exploded in his mind, ricocheting like a gunshot, breaking the long silence of his voluntary exile.
"Far enough." Jacob snarled, thoughts sharp and biting. Being away from civilization so long had made him feral and vicious, both physically as well as in demeanor. "Do something useful for once and figure out how long it's gonna take me to run the fuck back."
Quil's mind raced under what felt like an order. Did Jacob have that power? he wondered, knowing full well that Sam had never relinquished control. Confused and alarmed, he tried to add up the numbers, divide and multiply in his head, but math had never been his strong suit. All the while he could feel Jacob's frustration, the certain edge of mania that pervaded his every emotion and thought. There was a raw brutality to the wolf that Quil had never seen.
Leah was the one to intervene, swiftly calculating the distance, saving Quil's ass from a beating if he dared answer wrong. "Thirteen hours, give or take, depending on how fast your furry butt can run."
"I'll be there in ten." The inexorable tenor of his voice left no room for argument or disbelief.
"We'll meet you at the treaty line," Leah promised, knowing that if nothing else, Jacob Black was determined. He would claim his mate once and for all. Come hell or high water, or even certain death, there was no doubt about it. Neither wolf nor man would settle for less.
"Leah- wait." Jacob's thoughts were slightly softer, the old fear rising to the surface, revealing the scared little boy that still dwelled somewhere deep inside. "Leah, is she ok?"
The female wolf, often regarded as the pack bitch- bitter, angry and uncompassionate- breathed deeply. Instead of telling him, Leah showed him, opening her mind freely, a rare gift bestowed. Allowing Jacob to feel rather than just see the images of Bella sobbing uncontrollably on his bed. First, the all-consuming anguish of that night, wherein meek little Bella Swan cussed out the world then collapsed, only to be carried to her room by Edward Cullen, hit him square in the chest like a ton of bricks and knocking him off his feet. Then the screams which marked the full terror of Bella's nightmares during his prolonged absence, punctuated with the mumbled, desperate requests which begged in twisted sorrow...
Jacob, my Jacob. Please come back. I need you.
Leah's own emotions reflected back an image of herself, broken and alone when the wolf had first inhabited Sam, stealing away her pride, robbing long-cherished girlhood dreams like a thief in the night. Cruel, unrelenting and absolute, the stench of betrayal had shattered her life into a thousand pieces in just a few short weeks. Leah Clearwater understood what it felt like to be alone, to have no choices, yet a thousand options still lay before you. In that second Jacob learned what others had not. Anger and resentment was the mask she wore, hiding herself away from a world that would never understand. A world that could never be told of the deep meaning or mysticism behind the suffering she faced.
To some, this wanton display of emotional turmoil may have seemed cruel. To others, exactly what both deserved. Leah Clearwater was wiser than them all. Allowing Jacob to see and feel everything was the only way for him to fully comprehend the conflict that lived and breathed deep in the confines Bella Swan's soul. Each of them needed to quit running from their demons and face them head on.
In her heart, Leah Clearwater knew that Bella loved Jacob. Perhaps more than she allowed herself to fully admit. Something held her back from admitting it though. Imprinting had to play a part in her choice and honestly, who could blame her? After seeing the fucked up mess between herself, Sam and Emily, it was just plain sensible. There had to be more though. Something else that drove her. Even if Bella refused to give herself to Jacob, why stay with the leech? It didn't add up.
While Leah pondered it all, Jacob listened intently, absorbing every last detail. He knew Bella better than anyone in the world. Yet more proof positive to his mind that they belonged together. Never in his life had he been as strong or as weak as he was right now. With great difficulty he asked the question that plagued his heart. The one whose answer could forever break him in two.
"Leah, do you think I have a chance?"
Gentleness replaced the ferocity of the female wolf. A woman's heart, kind and wise answered his thoughts with wisdom and grace. "She loves you. That's all the chance in the world. Fight for her Jacob. If you really love her, then fight. She's ready now."
Sheer force of will and the hope of a life with the slip of a girl who would either be his saving grace or ultimately spell his doom sustained and renewed him. A hundred scenarios flipped through his mind, each more wild than the last. He imagined climbing in her window, demanding she leave with him, forcing her if he had to until she saw the light. He could hide her away, live in relative solitude and she would find happiness with him.
"No Jacob. Let her come to you. Give her all the choices that he does not." Leah's kind words embedded themselves into his heart and soul.
If there was one person in the world who understood his pain, it was Leah. If there was one person in the world who understood love, it was she. The lone girl wolf in a pack of boys, doomed to see the very reason for her own broken heart each and every day. Praying for a miracle, hoping for healing that may never come.
Reaching deep within, he pushed forth as much emotion as he could muster, allowing the simple words to wash over it like a winding river. "Thank you."
Then, needing to be alone once more, Jacob crossed over mental the divide, concealing his thoughts from the rest of the pack. So preoccupied with Bella Swan, he wound his way home, never having noticed the black wolf who was witnessing the fledgling stages of his own demise.