Chapter 3: No Sister of Mine

With her face buried deeply in her pillow, Helga privately hoped as a child would that the world couldn't see her if she couldn't see it. Her most deeply guarded secret had been public knowledge for a while now, with her and Arnold both openly sharing their affections for each other before their classmates and whoever else's opinions didn't matter to them. Helga had been at first afraid to have something so deeply personal about herself just out in the open for people to gawk at like some circus freaks on display, but Arnold had shown her that his own feelings for her couldn't be changed by whatever anyone had to say about them, and that had given her the courage to at last just let the world know how she felt.

To a point, at least.

Schoolgirl and schoolboy crushes existed everywhere for as long as there had been schools, but the kind of affection Helga held for Arnold went to deeper and often more disturbing depths than just liking the boy. Arnold had first appeared to her in her darkest and most vulnerable hour on their first day of preschool, and it only took one small act of kindness from him to set himself in her crosshairs from that point on. She obsessed over him, yes, in many ways that could probably startle Freud, from her volumes of gushy poetry, to stalking him and collecting various discarded paraphernalia from him. For years she wrestled not just with her feelings of embarrassment or fear of rejection from him, but also doubting the validity of her feelings; trying to figure out if the affection she felt towards him was genuine or just an unhealthy obsession. Bearing in mind that her love for him could just be a crippling infatuation that she used to define herself in an unhealthy manner, she endeavored for years to journey into her own confusing feelings and allow herself permission to act on them.

Now that it was finally all out in the open and the world hadn't ended, Helga more or less figured that was the end of her embarrassment, but apparently not. She doubted if anyone could comprehend just how strongly she felt about Arnold, and so when Stella had blabbed the 'M' word in front of everyone, she just couldn't bear anyone else knowing she indeed wanted nothing more than to join the family Shortman by marrying Arnold someday.

Helga figured it couldn't be that uncommon for young girls to obsess over the idea of marriage even at this age; in a culture that constantly pushed the idea of becoming a wife, or worse a mother on young girls it was hard to escape the notion. As she reflected, she admitted to herself that marrying Arnold had been on her agenda since the first day she met him, and even now that he returned her feelings something about it just felt wrong.

Worse still, Helga realized the embarrassment Stella had caused her paled in comparison to her referring to the woman as a certain other 'M' word. Stella had been unsubtly trying to mother Helga for some time now, and Helga didn't realize just how comfortable she had become with that until this morning. Up until this point, now she felt a line had been crossed and the entire already untraditional family dynamic under this roof just spiraled out of control, leaving Helga lost and more confused than ever.
"Arnold…" she sighed, or at least would have if her face hadn't still been buried in a pillow. All her words came out muffled as she monologued into the pillow she held firmly against her face. "What cruel irony, my own shame for my deepest most coveted wish in this cold dark world; that you might grow from a small glimmer of light into a blazing star, not guiding me towards a brighter future but nay, being my very present, ever staunch at my side as we suffer the slings and arrows of life's crap together. Arnold, if ever walked something divine amongst mere men, it is you my football-headed angel… so kind, so stupidly selfless and giving… opening the doors of this humble establishment to this hottest of messes… oh…

To the untrained eye this establishment may look like monkey island at the Hillwood Zoological Garden, but it was not this but the nuthouse I escaped from that made me go bananas. Oh Arnold… fate has gifted me not just you, but the two impossibly good people who brought you into this underserving world; Stella and Miles, two bastions of parenthood, the most caring and giving of caregivers… even a pair of goof wads like them who disappeared in some godforsaken jungle throughout your childhood still had more of a presence in your upbringing than the likes of Bob and Miriam in mine… I've tried to feel at home here in Miles and Stella's ward, to take up that mantle of the would-be Helga Shortman… but alack the day, tis all but smoke and wind… even now that I've driven Arnold mad enough to delude himself into loving me back, I still may never be worthy of the name Shortman. Twas selfish and preemptive of me to so thoughtlessly try to call Arnold's mother my own. Thus will I ever remain-"

"Helga?" the unmistakable voice of Arnold asked from the other side of the bedroom door.

"…. Pataki…" Helga finished for him, "Go away…"

The door creaked open and in stepped her concerned boyfriend.

"Come on, Helga. You don't have to be embarrassed, at least to me." Arnold said, "I mean, I know about the shrines… so this? This is kind of trivial-"

Helga rolled over on the bed to face Arnold, treating him to an off-putting frown.

"You can start bringing me all my meals up here from now on, football head…" Helga sighed, "I'll spare everyone else the trouble and just make jokes at my own expense in here…"

"Aw come on," Arnold said, "With everything that goes on around here, they'll have all forgotten about it by lunchtime. Grandma's cooking today, so they'll all be too confused by the food to worry about you."

Helga tucked her legs up against herself and curled into a ball on the bed, looking away and not saying a word in her vulnerable state.

"Look, don't worry about what Mom said." Arnold insisted, "You know my mom and dad… they're a little off on social cues when it comes to kids. She's real fond of you though… I think you remind her of her when she was your age."

Helga looked at him with some renewed feeling of comfort growing inside.

"Really?" she asked. "You think so?"

"Yeah." Arnold said, "I guess that's why you two are hitting it off so well."

Tuned in with Arnold's most discrete of feelings, Helga instantly could sense a change in him; Arnold suddenly appeared slightly uncomfortable as if he wanted to say more but didn't know how to.

"But…?" Helga asked.

"But what?" Arnold responded.

"Stella and I are hitting it off but…?" Helga prodded, "I know you didn't say 'but,' but I can always hear a 'but' even if there's no 'but.'"

Arnold's eyes darted around the room as he tensed up uncomfortably.

"I uh…" Arnold said, "

"Come on, admit it… you think it's weird what she's doing…" Helga insinuated.

Arnold shrugged, "Just looking out for you?"

"Oh criminey, Arnold! I just called her… 'mom'," Helga groaned, "She's mothering me… and I'm starting to let her… that doesn't bother you?"

Arnold looked at Helga as things started to click in his mind.

"Okay, I guess so…" Arnold said, "I mean, I guess it is a little weird… she does kind of act like your my… sister or something…"

"Yeah…" Helga said with a grimace, "You see where this is getting weird?"

"Well, it's not like you're really… I mean, they haven't adopted you so… we can still be-"

"Do us both a favor and stop talking now." Helga said.

"I mean… you know I'm happy to uh… share my parents, I guess." Arnold said, "I guess I know what it's like to have two sets of parents, you know, since Grandma and Grandpa raised me."

"Please." Helga dismissed him, "I'm pretty sure you're the one taking care of them… and the same can be said for your parents, too. They're like a pair of lost puppies… eager to please, adorable yes, but annoying…"

Arnold frowned at that comment.

"They're… doing their best." he said. "They're trying to be there for me after missing out on my whole childhood… and now they're trying to be there for you too so it's-"

"A burden?" Helga interrupted, "Am I just extra baggage?"
"That's not what I'm saying at all…" Arnold groaned, "Can you just not jump to conclusions here?"

"I'll jump to whatever I want, bucko." Helga huffed out.

"Helga, why are you being so defensive?" Arnold asked, "So… you called my mom 'mom' and then she said some day we'd… get… I mean, we don't have to-"

Arnold abruptly realized he had chosen his words poorly by the glare he got in response from Helga.

"Oh, so you don't want to?" she snipped.

"That's not what I… come on, you were embarrassed by it a second ago." Arnold urged.

"Oh sure. Helga Pataki. Always a boarder, never a-"
"Helga… we're twelve!" Arnold interrupted.

"You don't fool me, bucko." Helga hissed, feeling herself slipping back into her old self-sabotaging ways. Every step of progress she had made as a person in the last year begged her not to undo everything, but she could feel a huge hole in her heart starting to gape open and once again she dealt with the pain as she always had. "You don't want me around here… none of you do. No one ever does…"

"Huh?" Arnold sounded genuinely taken aback.

"You didn't want me in this place. It was your mom who invited me in to stay." Helga said.

Arnold shrugged, "I guess… but I think it's great having you here, even if it's a little weird sometimes. Besides, you still have your mom and dad, even if they're-"

"What?" Helga laughed, "You think I still consider Bob and Miriam parents? That chapter of my life is over. That ship has sailed. Or, you know, it would have sailed had it not hit an iceberg, caught on fire, and got torpedoed by a U-boat."

Arnold frowned slightly. After a series of harrowing events at the Pataki home ended with Miriam's smoothie incident sending her to the hospital, Helga took refuge at the boarding house where Arnold had welcomed her, wanting her to feel safe and at home. As time passed however, Arnold started to worry more and more about Helga's family, knowing that somewhere deep down she still loved them and wanted things to improve for them.

"You don't miss your family, at all?" Arnold asked.
Helga scoffed, "What's to miss? They're kind of the worst. Bob's a massive jerk on a level I could only aspire to, Miriam doesn't know which end of her blender is up, and Olga is… Olga." Helga's anger subsided just a little, and her eyes wandered downward as she sighed sadly, "Not one of them has even called since I left… so forget them, I don't need them and they don't need me. That's just the way it is, so for all I care they can all just drop off the face of the earth!" Helga growled with her rage returning.

Arnold knew full well why Helga held such disgust and animosity towards her family, but he still couldn't fathom anyone speaking so lowly about their own parents, no matter how imperfect they were. And worse, all the time Helga and Stella had spent together hadn't bothered him up until now, but in this moment he couldn't ignore his discomfort. He had only hoped for his family to take care of Helga and make sure she was healthy and safe, but owing to the issues Helga had with her parents Arnold realized even if he hadn't foreseen this, it was the only outcome he could have expected.

"I know your dad and your sister are… sort of caught up in their own business, but… I'm sure your mom misses you…" Arnold said without much confidence in his voice, "I know she hasn't really reached out since you came here but… who knows? Maybe she's just-"

The subject of Helga's mother struck a nerve, and she reacted defensively.

"Ah, can it! you don't know what you're talking about you little wannabe guru." Helga said angrily, "I mean, criminey! If there's two things I don't have time for it's your unfounded advice and losers like Miriam!"

"Helga… she's your mom." Arnold insisted, "Maybe she needs help."

"What she needs is a good kick to her empty skull." Helga huffed, "And I can't be bothered with that. I'm not dealing with that smoothie binger anymore!"

The more Arnold got to know and came to understood Helga, the more forgiving he became of some of the less than kind things she had to say about him and others. Something about her now sounded angry beyond the point of even being Helga however, like she was someone else entirely in this moment. As he looked at her scowling face he realized he wasn't seeing her, but someone uncomfortably similar on occasion.

"Helga, I know that's not you talking… don't you hear yourself?" Arnold asked, "Do you know who you sound like-"

Just then the doorbell rang, interrupting Arnold and grabbing both kids' attention and distracted them from the growing animosity between them.

Downstairs, Grandpa Phil approached the door in annoyance.

"Who in the devil could that be at this hour?" he asked.

"Dad, it's ten thirty," Miles answered him from down the hall. "In the morning…"

"A right… well, I wake up in a whole different time zone and it takes a few hours for my mind to catch up with-" as he opened the door he stopped talking when he saw an incredibly disheveled looking young woman wearing a bathrobe. Her unwashed blonde hair stuck up like unruly tufts of straw, and mascara dripped down her face. She looked as if the world had just chewed her up and spat her out on their doorstep.

"Hello…?" Phil said cautiously, "I'd say it's a little early for that line of work, and we don't need any-"

"Joan? Is that you?" Grandma asked as she pushed her way past Phil, "Why yes it is, Joan of Arc herself. Come in dear, you must need rest from fighting on the frontline."

"I…" the young woman could barely find words.

"Olga?" Stella now pushed her way past both of the aged proprietors of the boarding house and beheld the barely recognizable mess that had once been the Patakis' pride and joy.

"Old what?" Grandpa asked.

"Well of course she's old," Grandma said, "She's been around since the Hundred Years War. You and me are kindergartners compared to-"

"It's Helga's sister, Olga. She called earlier." Stella said, rushing over to the distraught Olga and wrapping an arm around her. "Come in, honey, come in."

Grandma and Grandpa stepped aside as Stella escorted Olga inside and brought her over to the kitchen table to sit down. Stella stepped over to a tea kettle sitting on the stove and grabbed a mug.

"I was just brewing a pot of tea," Stella said, "Want some?"

Olga nodded quietly as Stella poured her a cup and handed it to her.

"Thank you…" she said as she feebly lifted it to her lips and took a sip, "That's… that's very good…"

Stella nodded and gave her a warm smile.

"It's my own herbal fusion." Stella said, "I cooked it up in San Lorenzo, once upon a time. You won't find anything quite like it north of the boarder."

Suddenly Helga stomped into sight and her eyes immediately went to Olga. For a moment it appeared as if she didn't even recognize her own sister, but as she noticed the mascara running down her face she knew it had to be Olga.

"Hey, what's she doing here?" Helga shouted.

"Baby… sister?" Olga said weakly.

Helga crossed her arms and looked away just as Arnold appeared on her left. Arnold looked at Olga and his mouth went agape. Olga definitely didn't look like her usual picture of perfection. She had always projected an image of irrepressible sunshine, but now the sun had gone out and all anyone could see of Olga was a fading star.

"Bob and Miriam finally throw you out?" Helga asked, "Man, they must be digging way deeper than rock bottom now. You look like a total mess. There's no vacancies here but we do take in strays."

"Helga…" Stella said warningly to Helga, then turned back to Olga, "Sweetie? Are you feeling alright? Can we help you with any-" She tried to ask before Olga launched into hysterics.

"Daddy's completely lost his mind and mommy is so far gone I'm not even sure if she's alive most days and I've had to drop out of school and I have to take care of them both day in and day out and I can't remember the last time I slept through the night without daddy shouting at mommy or mommy passing out or just stress keeping me up from dusk until dawn and compounding into a headache that's tearing my skull apart and I can't take it anymore!"

Olga broke down and started wearing hysterically.

"Somebody hose this kid off…" Grandpa groaned.

"Dad…" Miles elbowed his father. Helga however shared Grandpa's sentiment.

"So what?" she asked, "Not so much as a phone call or anything, and you've come here to beg me to come back?"

"Oh no." Olga looked up with a sudden bright smile, snapping out of her crying fit with ease, "You're right where you should be, baby sister. I actually came to ask Mrs. Shortman for her help."

All eyes turned to Stella, who looked just as equally taken aback.

"Why my mom?" Arnold asked.

Olga looked at Arnold with adoring eyes, which of course just made Helga visibly steamed.

"Oh Arnold, I'm sure you're too modest to admit to your reputation around the city as the solver of everyone's problems." Olga said, "But I think this is a bit much to ask of a little boy… so I figure you had to have gotten it from somewhere." Her eyes returned to Stella accompanied by a half-crazed smile. "Mrs. Shortman…? I've been… unable to get through to mommy… and since you're such a humanitarian and appear to be just the most perfectest mother in the world I…"

"What? Hoping she has free tips for our mom?" Helga almost laughed. "Letting me come to live here is probably the closest thing she's ever done to caring about me."

Stella sighed in resignation. She had only a passing acquaintance with Miriam Pataki, but from what she had seen the woman clearly needed some kind of help. As she looked at the woman's daughters dwelling here in the boarding house kitchen away from home, she felt compelled to try to help them however she could, be it by caring for them herself or by doing what she had in her power to lift their mother's spirits.

"I could… try." Stella said, "What does your mom like to do, Olga?"

"Oh mom just loves napping, mixing smoothies, drinking them, and then napping some more." Helga said sarcastically.

"Helga… stop it." Stella said firmly, "I'll just… see if she wants to get coffee. Maybe she just needs a friend."

"She has her blender." Helga quipped.

"Helga." Stella fixed Helga with a frightening 'mom' look which seemed to finally put Helga in her place.

"Alright, alright…" Helga sighed, "Better you than me."

I switched gears and had to come up with an entirely different trajectory for this story… I had this plot line where Nick Vermicelli came back for revenge and abducted the Pataki girls, and then it would have to be Miriam to step up and come to their rescue… but I decided that was a bit much.