Author's Note: Here you go! There will be one final, short chapter after this one to tie everything up. I've already finished it, and just need to proofread and post it.

And by pure coincidence with the first line of this chapter, it actually is my mother's birthday today. ;)

A Glimpse Beyond

Chapter 3: Continuance

Rating: M

"Happy birthday, Mommy!"

Shizuru's eyes shot open just in time to prepare herself for the oncoming hug assault. With a nervous chuckle, she turned to the young girl and reflexively caught her in her arms. Her mind raced to catch up with what was happening right now, trying to reorient itself to the current reality. She must have been wakened in the middle of a dream, and her mind was still trying to adjust itself. "Um, thank you," she said, going along with things until her mind could catch up with where she was now.

The young girl planted a kiss on Shizuru's cheek and then pulled back from the hug. She reached her fingers up to her hair and twirled a raven-colored lock around as she looked up at Shizuru and said, as if awkwardly reciting the words she'd been coached to remember, "Mama says you can stay in bed as long as wanna, but there's a special breakfast ready for you when you get up."

"Mama?" Shizuru blinked in confusion. Her mind had yet to cue her in to who this girl was, or about much of anything for that matter, so she was at a loss as to who the girl might have been talking about. "Um, you can tell your Mama I just need a minute, and then I'll join you and her for breakfast," she said at last, hoping it would buy her some time to come to her senses.

"Hehe, okay," the girl said, smiling as if she were about to deliver a precious secret to her Mama. She got up on her toes and leaned in to plant a quick kiss on Shizuru's lips. "Love you, Mommy," she said as she pulled back. "Oh! And happy birthday!" she said again, as if she'd just remembered it.

Shizuru smiled at this, trying to at least put on a brave front for this girl - her daughter, apparently. "Thank you. Oh, and um, I love you too," she said, widening her smile a bit. As lost as she was right now, she wasn't going to offload any of that confusion onto this girl, so she did her best to play along. "Now, shouldn't you be going to help your Mama with breakfast?"

"Okay!" the girl said, turning and running off through the bedroom door. She unfortunately forgot to close it behind her, so Shizuru didn't quite have the privacy she wanted right now, but at least she was alone for the time being.

Shizuru took a deep breath, searching her mind for the last thing she remembered. She felt like she'd just awoken from a nightmare, so she pushed past the nightmarish images and to a more realistic memory. In it, the young girl had woken her up just like this, also wishing her a happy birthday. Shizuru had called her Ayane then, so that must have been her name. Well… probably. It couldn't have been Shizuru's birthday yesterday as well, so that memory must have been another dream.

Okay, so what was before that? The next thing her mind brought up was a memory of her dying in Natsuki's arms, which had to have been a dream as well. Except... the more she dwelled on that memory, the more details emerged around it, and the more real it seemed. It couldn't have been just a dream with a lot of imagined history behind it. It felt too real.

But then, what did that mean about where she was now? Was she dreaming now? Perhaps she hadn't died at all, and just thought she had. Testing the waters, Shizuru reached her hand over to her arm and gave it a solid pinch, feeling a sharp pain in response. Well, she could feel pain now, and that certainly felt as real as ever.

So if it wasn't a dream, what did that mean? Had she jumped forward into the future, losing years' worth of memories? Her remembered death was certainly rather magical, so it was hard for her to rule out anything. If all that was possible, what was to stop leaping forward into the future from being possible as well?

At last, Shizuru closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She wasn't going to find any answers staying in bed like this. Her best bet was to find someone to talk to about this, and go from there.

With this resolve, Shizuru got up and headed to her dresser. She searched through it for clothing that looked like hers, then took a few minutes to make herself just presentable enough for breakfast. Steeling herself with a deep breath, she stepped out into the hallway. Looking down it, she caught sight of the kitchen through a door at the end, and headed toward it.

Just before Shizuru reached the door to the kitchen, she froze. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up in anticipation of something, and the back of her mind was screaming at her to stop. Something was wrong. She'd been in exactly this position in her dream, and as soon as she'd walked through the door to the kitchen, the world around her had vanished and she'd been stabbed through the back by an unknown assailant - unknown at the time, that was. A later dream had revealed it to be Shizuru herself.

But that was just a dream, right? A nightmare. She had nothing to worry about now.

Despite her justifications, Shizuru couldn't quite manage to fully reassure herself. Something in her was certain that as soon as she stepped through that door, she was going to be attacked. Or perhaps even before it, if she didn't move.

Nervously, Shizuru turned her head, checking out the hallway behind her. There was no one there. Letting out a breath she just realized she'd been holding, Shizuru took a moment to simply listen to the sounds around her. It sounded like someone was working in the kitchen right now, presumably making her breakfast. Who was it though? Ayane had referred to her "Mama," but who was that? Chances are it was someone Shizuru hadn't even met yet. Her heart was still back in high school, so she found herself wishing it might be Natsuki, but Natsuki had just told Shizuru she couldn't love her that way, so that couldn't be possible, could it?

Ayane's face flashed in Shizuru's mind. Raven hair, emerald eyes… She did look like she could be Natsuki's daughter. So maybe… No! Shizuru shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. If there was even a slight chance she was with someone else now, she certainly couldn't go calling out the name of the girl she'd had a crush on in high school.

Just as she was resigning herself to having to call for Ayane instead, Shizuru mentally slapped herself. There were so many possible clues here she was ignoring. All she had to do was look around the house to find a picture of her and her partner, and she could confirm whether it was Natsuki or not. Deciding to start with the hallway, Shizuru turned back to look along its length, but it was simply decorated with a few paintings.

The bedroom would be more likely to have at least one picture of her partner, though. Shizuru turned back and made her way to the bedroom, but she found herself freezing again at the doorway. What if going through this doorway triggered her attack as well? It seemed ridiculous to think like that, but Shizuru just couldn't get that thought out of her head. She tried to convince herself that she was just imagining things, but her mind kept pushing back with painful memories of her being killed by her doppelganger. She couldn't go through that again, whatever it took. Even if it meant staying in this hallway until she could figure out a solution.

"Shizuru?"

That voice… Shizuru turned around. From the other end of the hallway, Natsuki was peeking out from the door to the kitchen to check on Shizuru.

Without giving her mind a chance to doubt anything, Shizuru dashed toward Natsuki. Whatever was going on here, she could trust Natsuki. Natsuki would be her lifeline through this.

Natsuki seemed a bit caught off-guard when Shizuru pulled her into a tight hug, but it took her only a second to relax into it. "It's okay… it's alright, Shizuru," she said. She wrapped her arms around Shizuru in turn, then leaned in to rest her head on Shizuru's shoulder, planting a comforting kiss on it. "I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm here now."

Natsuki's words didn't make much sense to Shizuru right now, but she was so relieved to have a source of comfort that she didn't much care. She simply allowed herself to squeeze Natsuki within her hug, taking solace in the feeling of her friend's body against her own.

As the hug went on, Shizuru's mind slowly began to piece things together. Natsuki was here, so apparently Natsuki was indeed her partner now, however that had come about. If that was the case, then Shizuru could safely confide in her. Of course, it was probably best to talk in private, so as not to worry Ayane too much.

Finally pulling back from the hug, Shizuru found Natsuki's gaze and allowed herself to hold it for just a few seconds before she spoke. "Natsuki… can we perhaps go to the bedroom to discuss something in private? I don't wish to worry Ayane."

"Ayane?" Natsuki said, blinking in confusion. Shizuru glanced over Natsuki's shoulder, finding the young girl sitting at a table in the kitchen. Natsuki turned her head to follow Shizuru's gaze, and her eyebrows raised as she saw the girl. She turned back to Shizuru after a second and nodded. "Yeah, sure," she said, giving Shizuru a comforting smile.

Shizuru wasn't able to make any sense out of Natsuki's reaction, but she could handle that later. She looked over to Ayane and called out, "You can start breakfast without us, Ayane. Your Mama and I have something to discuss first."

"Okay!" Ayane said, grinning as she proceeded to dig into her breakfast.

Smiling at Ayane, Shizuru turned back to Natsuki to find that her friend's eyebrows had gotten stuck in the raised position. "Mama?" she whispered.

So Natsuki was at as much of a loss here as Shizuru. "Apparently," Shizuru whispered back. She turned back toward the bedroom. "Let's go," she said.

"...Right," Natsuki said. She followed behind Shizuru as they headed to the bedroom.

Shizuru found herself pausing for just a moment at the doorway, worried once more that something might happen when she crossed the threshold. But Natsuki was with her now, following behind her. As twisted as her doppelganger might have been, there was no way it would attack Natsuki, or do anything to cause her pain, like attacking Shizuru herself. With this thought in mind, Shizuru stepped through the door and into the bedroom.

Breathing a sigh of relief as nothing happened, Shizuru continued into the room and took a seat on the bed. She patted the spot next to her, inviting Natsuki to join her. Once her friend was seated next to her, Shizuru spoke. "So… is Natsuki at as much of a loss as I am as to what's going on here?"

Natsuki let out a chuckle at this. "Only about here in particular… here here, I mean. This house. ...Sorry," Natsuki furrowed her brow. "I don't have quite the vocabulary to describe it. But I ran into Suzushiro-san before I found you, and she explained to me what's going on here."

Shizuru's eyes widened, remembering one of the scenes she dismissed as a dream. Perhaps it was more real than she'd thought. "Ara? I ran into Suzushiro-san as well… was she playing at being a HiME when you met her too?"

Natsuki nodded, smiling at this. "Oh yes. She's having quite a good time here, getting to play the hero's role she always dreamed of. ...Although, I'm not sure everyone else is doing quite as well as her."

An image of her own death at the hands of her doppelganger passed through Shizuru's mind at these words, and she winced and turned away from Natsuki. Her friend was silent for a long moment, and at last Shizuru got up the courage to ask, "So, what exactly is this place?"

"Well, I don't think it's the afterlife, at least not exactly," Natsuki said. "Those of us who were sacrificed in the HiME Carnival are here, and we can see… I don't know, replicas, or something, of other people. But not their real selves. I spent some time trying to search down my mother, but when I found her, it soon became obvious she was just a copy, and not the real thing. Suzushiro-san, however, felt quite real to me. If this were the real afterlife, there's no way that would be the case. This is something else, just for us."

"...I see," Shizuru said. It was hard to know what to make of that. Were they going to be trapped here forever instead of truly dying? Or were they perhaps just being held until the Carnival finally ended? There was no way to know. Whatever it was, she just had to find a way to get through it.

"Um, Shizuru…" Natsuki said. She shifted on the bed, and she placed a hand on Shizuru's thigh. "Are you alright, though? Before I called out to you, it looked like you were terrified of something."

Shizuru squeezed her eyes closed. She couldn't burden Natsuki with this. It was her role to protect Natsuki, not the other way around. "It's nothing to worry about, Natsuki," she said, trying to keep her voice as genuine as possible. "It was just a strange, momentary worry I had."

"...Are you sure?" Natsuki said. "It didn't have anything to do with… I don't know… a violent copy of yourself?"

Shizuru's head shot around to look at Natsuki, wondering how her friend could have known this. But Natsuki wasn't looking back at her. Instead, her friend's gaze was fixed on the doorway. Following it, the reason for Natsuki's insight became abundantly clear: Shizuru's clone was standing in the doorway, Element drawn.

For a moment, Shizuru's panicked thoughts went to Ayane, worried that something might have happened to her. But no, although there was evidence of blood on the blade of her Element, it was dry; it hadn't been used recently. That didn't mean it wasn't about to be used very soon, though. But… her clone hadn't moved from the doorway yet. She simply stood there, facing Shizuru and Natsuki with blank eyes.

Shizuru breathed deeply. She wasn't going to let herself show fear in front of Natsuki. But she also didn't want to let Natsuki see her clone like this. The figure was wearing the same purple kimono Shizuru had worn on the night she'd defeated Diana and gone on to massacre the First District. It was Shizuru at her absolute worst, most despicable.

"Is this it, Shizuru?" Natsuki asked. Even now, her hand remained on Shizuru's leg, only having tensed up just a bit.

"...Yes, it is," Shizuru said. There was no point lying to Natsuki now. Her heart beat in her chest as she spoke, but she tried not to let on about her fear, or give in to the voice within the back of her mind that was yelling at her right now. "She's come to kill me three times so far."

Slowly, Natsuki turned her head to face Shizuru, only finally peeling her eyes off of Shizuru's doppelganger once she'd turned her head all the way. Natsuki took an audibly deep breath, and she squeezed Shizuru's thigh within her hand. "Well, I'm not going to let her kill you a fourth time," she said.

Shizuru shook her head on instinct. "No, it's alright, Natsuki," she said. She took a breath to steady herself. The voice within her head was getting louder and harder to ignore, but she pushed past it. "I don't need you to protect me."

Natsuki let out a growl. "Do you think I'm going to just stand by while my best friend is killed over and over again? Don't be an idiot, Shizuru. I'm staying with you, and that's the end of it."

Shizuru squeezed her eyes shut, her stomach twisting as she heard these words. "No, Natsuki, I… I don't…" deserve "...I…" I deserve this. "No! I… I…" I deserve this! I deserve every death she deals me, every time she stabs me, slices me, crushes me, decapitates me, strangles me, skewers me! After what I've done, I deserve no mercy.

"Shizuru… Shizuru!" Natsuki's voice broke through the chaos of Shizuru's mind, and she soon found herself embraced within Natsuki's arms.

It was too much for her. Unable to maintain a strong facade any longer, Shizuru turned around and clung tightly to Natsuki, burying her tears in her friend's shoulder. She wanted to silence that damn voice in her head again, but she couldn't fight it off this time. Its wasn't just trying to convince her of this illusion; it was reminding her of her own crimes, crimes she couldn't deny. If this was meant to be her personal hell, she deserved it. What she didn't deserve was Natsuki's comfort right now, but she couldn't find it in herself to pull away. Natsuki was always her one weakness, even now.

Eventually, with a little help from Natsuki slowly stroking her back, Shizuru managed to get her emotions under at least enough control to speak. "I think…" she said, "I know why she's coming for me."

"Hm?" Natsuki replied.

Breathing slowly to steady herself, Shizuru pulled back from the hug so that she could make eye contact with Natsuki. It made it harder for her to confess this, but she had to do it. "She's coming to make me pay for what I did in the Carnival."

"What?" Natsuki said, shaking her head. "Shizuru… You can't blame yourself for that. We were all being manipulated into fighting each other. The First District has been doing this forever; they would have found a way to make everyone fight sooner or later. They're the ones to blame, not you."

Shizuru winced at the mention of the First District. It seemed that Natsuki didn't know yet about what Shizuru had done to them. But she had to tell her. "I… I know…" she said. She gulped her worries down and closed her eyes for a moment. This was it. Opening her eyes, she pushed through. "But they certainly didn't manipulate me into killing them all. I did that myself…"

"Shizuru…" Natsuki's eyes widened. She seemed to pull back from Shizuru, but not as much as Shizuru feared she would. "I… I mean, as I said, they're the ones to blame for all this, so they…"

Shizuru shook her head. The files that Yukino had forced her to copy down flashed through her mind. "They didn't deserve to die. That… shouldn't be how we do things. They were humans. People. They had family who didn't deserve the pain of losing them. I lost myself and went overboard…" Shizuru glanced over at the figure of herself in the doorway. For some reason, its eyes were no longer blank now. Instead, they gazed at her with a sad expression. Holding this gaze, Shizuru said, "I have to pay for my crimes."

Natsuki shook her head, pulling Shizuru's focus back to her. "No, Shizuru. And definitely not like this. They manipulated you to your breaking point. It's not your fault you broke; it's theirs," she said, holding Shizuru's gaze firmly, and even moving back in toward Shizuru.

Part of Shizuru wanted to accept this, but she couldn't. "...I'm sorry, Natsuki," she said, looking away from her friend. "As much as I want to blame them for it… I have to take responsibility for my own actions."

"Take responsibility!?" Natsuki said. She turned back toward the copy of Shizuru waiting in the doorway and pointed to it. "Is that what you call killing yourself over and over here? That isn't taking responsibility for anything. That's just beating yourself up over your own mistakes."

"I…" Shizuru looked over at her clone once more, as if it might have some answer for her. But none was forthcoming, so she looked back at Natsuki. "What else can I do? This is it for us! We aren't even in the same afterlife as them. There's nothing I can do for them now."

Natsuki turned back to Shizuru, and her gaze softened. "I… I guess I'm not saying you have to forgive yourself. But…" Natsuki brought her hand back and sought out Shizuru's hand. She brought it up between them and gave it a tender squeeze. "There are people here you can do things for. I'm here. And if you want to do something for me, you can start by not repeatedly killing yourself."

That look from Natsuki couldn't help but melt Shizuru's heart. The world seemed to fade away from her and Natsuki in this moment. "...Okay," Shizuru said at last. "If that's what you want, Natsuki. I'll try."

Natsuki smiled softly at this. "I guess that's all I can ask."

As Natsuki smiled at Shizuru, it felt more and more like there was nothing else in the world but the two of them. It took Shizuru a good few seconds to realize that this was indeed the case: The world around them, her doppelganger included, had fallen away, leaving just the two of them sitting together on Shizuru's bed, without even a floor beneath their feet.

"Ara…" Shizuru said, looking around at the emptiness that now surrounded them. "I don't suppose Natsuki knows what to do about this?"

"Er… not exactly…" Natsuki said. She pulled herself back up onto the bed, away from the void surrounding them. "This hasn't happened to me here before. I've just been using doors to get around, and every place I've been to has been more or less complete."

Nervously, Shizuru leaned forward, peering at the emptiness below. Without any floor beneath her feet, she supposed she could leap off the bed and see where that would take her, but that didn't feel like a particularly smart idea right now.

"Shizuru!" Natsuki said. She tugged at Shizuru's arm, beckoning her to turn around. Following Natsuki's gaze, Shizuru looked up to see what looked other shards of reality floating in the void, slowly spreading outward amidst a cloud of green sparks. "I… I think this is it."

Shizuru stared upward, watching as the cloud of sparks thickened, spreading out to encompass her and Natsuki as well. "Natsuki, I…" Shizuru began to say, her instincts taking over and wanting to get out some precious words in what might be her last chance, but fears of how Natsuki might take it cut her off.

Natsuki looked over at her. "I know, Shizuru," she said, smiling softly. "I love you too. I always will. And whatever happens next, you can trust in that."

As the world began to fill with a green light, Shizuru focused intently on Natsuki's gaze, holding it until she could no longer make out her love's eyes. The feeling of the bed beneath her soon vanished, and Shizuru felt herself being pulled away.

Pieces of herself began to fade, Shizuru's body dissolving once more. Even her mind felt like it was dissolving, pieces of memories from what had happened here disappearing from her.

No, she couldn't forget this. She had to hold on to it, or it was all for nothing. Shizuru focused, trying to hold on to everything Natsuki had said to her. She wasn't going to let this memory fade from her mind like a dream. She was going to take responsibility for-

To be concluded