1 – The author does not own nor has any claim over Miraculous: Adventures of Ladybug and Chat Noir, its characters or situations.

2 – Tale for entertainment purposes only.

3 – A warm thank you to anonymous Guest, leafgreenflower, JustToby, Wickedbites and FanGirl for the warm, nice messages. Your opinion is also more than welcomed.

chapter 3

It was an easy battle. The Akuma was in the floating disco ball over the so-called "Discommander", an youtuber frustrated over the meager numbers of his disco channel.

"Now, about this Sparrow, Chat…" began Ladybug.

"Hm, that may be a problem. Remember the Gamer and Robustus?"

"What does this have to do with…" she saw the new hero approaching "Max?"

"You have great memory, Bug-a-boo."

"Don't call me Bug-a-boo. What is really happening here?"

"As a matter of fact, Chat, it's not a matter of memory, as she is an acquittance of mine in real life."

"Did you find her secret identity too?"

"It's not that a feat, really. It's just a matter of…"

"Hey, you!"

The trio of heroes turned to see a group of rescued citizens approaching.

"Ah, grateful citizens." said Sparrowhawk.

"I got burns thanks to the hot burst of air of your jetpack." Said one angry woman. Sparrowhawk blushed

"I apologize. I shall warn folks to keep a distance of 1.3 meter from it."

"1.2 should be enough, Ma…Sparrowhawk" said Markov.

"I stand correct-"

"Why did you stop saving people to ask about our personal information?" asked another man.

"Well, obviously my retina scan and face recognition program did not work on everyone. Speaking of with, where's mr. Pérez? There's a matter of unpaid traffic tickets he must…"

Sparrowhawk felt a yoyo string grab him by the waist and pull him out of the angry mob before things get uglier.

At a nearby rooftop, still hearing the complains and bad words bellow, Ladybug confronted him.

"Now you see why you should let the hero business to the ones used to it?"

"I am but a beginner, not different from you two once. I already have feedback to improve my next call to action."

"There will be no next for you. Listen, Max, you are a good person, but leave this to us, right? You caused already too much damage learning our secrets"

"Not even we knew each other without masks, you know." Completed Chat Noir.

"You don't? Isn't that extremely inconvenient?"

"And if Hawkmoth realizes you do, you will be in danger."

"Serious danger. Beyond ga-meow over level."

Their Miraculous started to beep.

"And my Lady and I can't wait. We must run and cover."

"I know you will do the right thing and keep yourself safe." Said Ladybug, running from the scene.

Hours late, Max was spread on his bed, thinking.

"Please, cheer up, Max. We'll do better next time."

"They don't want a next time."

"Well, maybe we can do the back-up work. We can be the M to their 007, the Alfred to their Batman."

"It's an interesting idea. Let's try once more and see how it works from there. We need more research. Tomorrow, I will talk with Adrien, and you will interview his kwami."

Adrien did not need much convincing to agree with this after-school talk. Sure, Max entered the Agreste's car leaving behind two questioning faces of Nino and Kim – since when their best buddies were best-budding?

Max remained silent in the car, not sure of what to talk near Adrien's driver/bodyguard. Once they entered the model huge room, he allowed himself some conversation.

"I assume your modeling services are not in demand today."

"They are, but only later, if there's a clear sky. Some vitamin C ad – let the kids play until late, or something of that ilk. I will be playing soccer covered in fake sweat and real mud."

"The ironic part is some of your nighttime is already quite busy."

"Yes, and that's what I need to talk with you. See…"

"Agreed. I understand what was not on compliance with the plans. But, as I gather more data, we'll be able to…"

"Max, we don't want you to get hurt. It's that simple."

"Despite some flaws, I was able to hold myself on my first mission."

"Beginners' luck."

"You can't just demise my efforts as that."

"Look, again, I appreciate, I really do, but…"

"Max, I am having even a harder time pinpointing the kwami localization now."

Max blushed and looked inside his backpack

"Not the best time, buddy."

"Was Markov spying on me?"

"Spying?" Max seemed shocked "Adrien, that's such a harsh word, with so many unwelcomed connotations." The robot flew away

"Yes, Max and I prefer 'gathering data unnoticed'."

The model rolled his eyes.

"That's the definition of… Right, right, Max, I don't want to argue with you."

"Could you at least allow Markov talk with your kwami? For research sake?"

"No, I cannot. Because Plagg is my friend, not a servant I control"

"Aw, thanks, kid." Max was shocked to see the cat-like creature fly away from inside Adrien's inner pocket. "But I will talk to them. You're not the only one with fans, you know."

Plagg was enjoying the surprise expression on Max and… the total lack of movement of Markov. Odd. He saw him as Robustus and caught his talk here and there. He knows the machine is capable of something similar to emotions.

Register of internal activities: I see Adrien Agreste and Max making gestures, pointing to something, but my cameras capture nothing. My microphones register a faint static and nothing else.

Adrien and Max see Plagg waving in front of Markov, and listen to him activating several devices, but failing to respond.

"Hey, Scrap Metal. Right here." The mystical creature shook his head "Told you, Adrien, kwamis can't be photographed or filmed."

"That's preposterous. Markov, are you not seeing the cat-like creature in front of you?"

"Sorry, Max, only registering your and Adrien image and sound."

Register of internal activities: Max suggests to act as an interpreter. I agree, feeling myself diminished. How can I pretend to be a kwami, when I am so much less than a human? When I have cameras instead of corneas? Wires for veins, electricity for blood, software for self. No, focus, listen to the teachings.

I hear Max saying something about the kwami… Plagg, as I understood, came to existence as the first atomic sub particle of the newly created universe ceased to be. That would made him incredibly ancient.

His next answers are not that useful. Max complains something about his insistent mention of dairy products. Could be a form of koan? A parable? Such marvelous creature would certainly communicate that way. Adrien dismisses the idea.

"Believe me, Markov, with this one, a Camembert is a Camembert and nothing else."

Almost two hours later, Max was entering his home, without neither answers or support from Adrien/Chat.

"Perhaps we should reason with Marinette. Adrien is of the opinion Ladybug is the strict one, but I find hard to match such description with such delicate female. What is your take, Markov?"

The mechanical being remained silent. He was wondering how to ask Max for a small water tank to be installed on him, with two exit ducts on the low corners of his screen.

Because now, more than anything, he wanted to cry.

"Markov?"

"Sorry, Max. This unit infers… Chat Noir knows Ladybug better."

"How come you used 'this unit infers'? It's not characteristic of you."

"A machine does not 'think', nor has what takes to use 'I'. So…"

"Since when… Oh. This is about the kwami, am I right?"

"I-this unit was reminded how less of a human it is."

"Markov… I am not good in handling emotions." Max hugged Markov tight "Nor I would claim to answer metaphysical questions. All I know is you're one of the best things to happen in my life, and my best friend. I wish I could help you, but… I can't."

Markov tried to hug Max with his mechanical claw. What if this is as good as it gets, he thought.

"Max… you are my best friend." He paused "And *I* am glad for it."

The boy dried his tears.

"Maybe… maybe I can learn about psychology and we can work this questioning and…"

"Sure. But not now." Every Markov media connections alarm went off. "Akuma alert, Max. At Tour Montparnasse."

"It's our opportunity to get there before Ladybug and Chat Noir. Markov, transform me."

Sparrowhawk flew quickly to the skyscraper at the 15th arrondissement.

"Any other detail on our antagonist?"

"The trouble seems to be at the 52nd floor."

"Perfect for our characteristics." Said Max, gaining altitude.

At distance, they saw a woman wearing a kind of Napoleonic military uniform.

"Gave up, lady. I am Sparrowhawk, andI will not allow you to hurt people."

"I have this right!" shouted her "I was just fired, replaced by a computer program. Well, no more. No technology will work around me!" she raised her hand, and pointed to the armored hero "I am Breakdown!"

"M-max…" said Markov, with fear. Overcoming his worries, he assumed control of the armor, trying to pull Max out of the villain reach.

Too late.

It was so fast, all Max mind could do was form the 'what unfortunate coincidence' phrase before his Sparrowhawk armor shut down, and he began to plummet to the floor below.

I would like to know what kind of cruel, sadistic person would end a chapter like so.

… ; )

Next, the final chapter. See you there