The next morning I sat in my living room admiring the self portrait of myself and Mari on the walls. The Rhode Island snow amuses me through my only window. The birds chirp loudly as they migrate to a much warmer climate. I felt that this day would be a good day. I make plans in my head to walk up to the roof later and paint the snowy Rhode Island town. To avoid intense anticipation, I get up from the couch and walk into the kitchen to brew coffee. Before I can turn the coffee pot on, I hear knocking at my door. It was her, it was Mari.
"Hey," she greets me at the door with that hidden smile. "Come in, please," I hear my voice trying hard to sound less needy. She enters and heads straight for the sofa. Before I sit spaces next to her, I close my apartment door for privacy. For minutes, we sat there in silence. I decided not to speak first and wait until she does. I can hear her breathe in normal breaths as my respiration intensifies from nervousness. Ber familiar lavender scent sends tingles up and down my back. I feel her watching me as my eyes focuses shyly on my dark grey carpet floor. This causes my heart to pound loudly and I wonder if she hears the beat, the thuds. I couldn't take it anymore.
"About the other night, or the other month, I'm not clear on how long it was…Mari I want to personally apologize for that kiss. I should have asked your permission, I won't make excuses but I thought you felt that way because I know I do, I mean I did." I reveal while looking straight into her beautiful blue eyes. Carefully I watch as she hesitates to speak. There was something in her eyes that's always been there since I met her, but I'm just discovering what it is truly; something horrible, something hidden, something dark, and something heinous.
"You remind me of my brother," she begins to finally open up about her life, "you even look like him and um….my brother, Ben. He died a few years ago and I miss him everyday…I would never try to substitute you in the place of my brother but because of your striking similarities, I realized it would be a really, really bad idea if I just cut you out of my life so early," she pours out in exasperation.
"I'm just so relieved that you are even talking to me about your family. I'm so sorry about your brother, death is a horrible tragedy. When I lost my uncle to cancer, it cut me like a knife…We're you and your brother close."
"He was my best friend, my biggest fan, and we were inseparable."
"May I ask how he…"
"He was involved in a car accident, the other driver was high on drugs and my brother happened to be the one impacted worse."
Mari eyes light up as she speaks of her brother. As for me, I'm sitting on the sofa looking at this wonderful human being in a different light. I feel a sense of comfort come over me as she lets me in her world piece by piece. I decide to continue digging into her family tree to keep up the rhythm.
"Do you have any other siblings or are you an only child like me."
"It was just me and Ben. Another reason we were so close."
"You never talk about this stuff to me. What about your parents? Who are they? Where are they from, where are you from," I babble anxiously.
"My parents are living in Europe. My dad works at a clinic in Berlin; he's a doctor and my mom writes children books. She was a college professor but I guess she values writing over teaching. "
"Are you close to your parents?"
Mari takes in this question and stares at her hands with a long pause. I can't read the reaction on her face because it's beyond blank. Did I say something wrong? Here I am again, overstepping.
"If it wasn't for my parents, I would not be sitting here today…I owe them my life," Mari's head faces mine as her haunting eyes look into mine. Usually when someone tells me they owe another their lives, I never take it in literal terms. However, the way Mari's words slid firmly off of her tongue, I had to wonder what she meant. "Mari, I want to know you everything about you, from the moment you were born to now," I sound like an overactive 7 years old. "I'm not that interesting Brennan, not at all," she confesses with an innocent smile.
"Anyone who says that their life isn't interesting usually means the opposite which is, their life is interesting," I slouch down into the couch fully comfortable and assured now that Mari's back into my bubble. Unfortunately, just as my body relaxes, her body tense up. Looks like I've bit another button. "I'm as normal as you are," she reveals. I laugh to lighten the mood, "We'll you're normally weird because that's how normal I am." I'm at ease when I hear her beautiful laughter escape from her heart.
I decide to discontinue the investigating of Mari Collingwood and just enjoy her presence. She didn't stay as long as I wanted her to stay. After all, it was after midnight and I was hopeful because I would see her tomorrow and the next day, and the next day after that, and so on. I ended up falling to sleep on my sofa with my head lying on the spot where Mari sat. It smelled like her and I know it's creepy but it was my lullaby for the night.