"You're his ex-fiancee?' Steve set his wine down and looked at the stunningly beautiful woman opposite him incredulously. The wind chimes hanging above the little table at the outdoor café shuddered in sympathy, while the delicate green shadows from the hanging fuschia plants winced, scattering haphazardly across the tastefully understated china place settings between them. "He set me up with his ex-fiancee?"

"It was not, I assure you, my idea," the woman sitting said. She sounded not a little testy, and was eying the salad before her as if it might bite her. "And we were never formally betrothed. His mother and my mother just had this idea that we'd be a good match because we'd play together as children without emerging covered in blood. I was a temperamental child," she elaborated at his look. "And most of the would-be-warriors in Asgard either humoured me or scoffed at me when I announced that I would grow to best them all. Thor never did."

"He's got some nerve," Captain America said. "I'll give him that."

'And atrocious taste in women," Lady Sif-of-the-aforementioned-Asgard said sourly. She didn't… quite… slump in her chair, but only because her armor didn't allow it. "That astronomer of his has as much personality as a brnagafathin, and her only athletic prowess she has ever demonstrated is the quite astonishing speed at which she threw herself at his feet. And into his arms, and under his…"

"His ex-fiancee who hasn't gotten over him, yet. I am in hell."

'No," Lady Sif said. "You are not. Trust me. I may yet escort him there, though, if he does not stop trying to make me a match out of guilt. He told me that you just wanted a friend."

"Did he. He told me the same thing."

"I wanted dinner," the warrior woman said. "He caught me at a weak moment, and the temporal differentials took care of the rest." She poked at the salad. "And I still want dinner. This is not food. This is shrubbery."

"It's only the first course," Steve said. "There's meat coming, I assure you."

"If you were not quite so obviously and pathetically innocent," Lady Sif said. "I would detach your head for that little innuendo, and not the one that sits so prettily on your shoulders, Captain Rogers."

"Huh?" He wrinkled his nose at her, then blushed violently. "Oh God. I didn't mean it that way; I didn't…"

"I know you did not." She sighed. "Please do not take this the wrong way, but all else aside, you are really not my type."

"Why not?' He didn't seem terribly offended, she was pleased to note, but…

"You are not a warrior," she said. "You fight bravely, and quite spectacularly well, but you are like your room-mate the doctor – a healer at heart. Your blood does not run hot in battle."

"And that's a prerequisite for you?' He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Yes. It is not necessarily healthy, I am aware – again, your room-mate has told me, and one cannot fault his reasoning- but for better or for worse, it is what I am drawn to."

"That certainly makes my life easier," Steve said. "Wait, you know Bruce?'

'Not as well as Lady Natasha and Thor would like, I am sure. We two had a meal together on top of Stark Tower. Neither of us enjoyed it, not as they would have had us enjoy it, but it was interesting, nevertheless. And afterward, we went to a barren field and sparred. It was most invigorating."

"How many of my acquaintances has he tried to set you up with, exactly?'

"I am not sure. He has suggested many, but I tend to ignore him. It is obvious that he feels obliged."

Steve grimaced. Sif looked him over.

"You are angry with him," she observed. "And Lady Natasha… But not with Doctor Banner. Why is that? He had pre-knowledge of the situation and did not warn you, after all."

"It's not Bruce's fault. And it wasn't his idea, was it, so I don't blame him. When it comes right down to it, he just wanted the house to himself so that he can show off his tiramisu- making skills for Agent Hill."

"His… What? Is that another euphemism?'

"No. It's a dessert. He's been practicing all week. She's addicted to the stuff the way Agent Romanoff is to baklava." He poked at his salad, and put his fork down. "Look, I'm sure you're very nice, and please don't take this the wrong way, which I'm sure you won't, because you already brought it up… But you're not really my type either. You're very beautiful, but that aside, I don't want a relationship right now. I have enough to deal with while developing a relationship with this world in general."

"It must be very difficult for you," Sif said. "It is a dilemma that I cannot truly understand – Asgard rarely changes from eon to eon – but Doctor Banner and I discussed you much at the top of Stark Tower. You are fortunate indeed to have such a man as your friend."

"He's the best," Steve said whole-heartedly, and for just a moment, he sounded just as young as the boy she knew he really was, under the spandex. "I really don't know how I'd have gotten even this far without him to help me keep things in perspective. He's like… He's like my best friend, big brother and father wrapped up all in one."

"He loves you very much," Sif said. "Unreservedly, really."

"Huh? We haven't… Um. He does?'

"Yes." She turned a leaf over. "I had that kind of love once. Everyone I am acquainted with insists on thinking it was more than it was, naturally – not helped along by the fact that he shared my bed on occasion, though nothing generally came from it but restful sleep, on both sides – but I know it well enough to recognize it now. And to envy it. You may have lost your chance with your lady, Captain Rogers, but you have gained something too. I am sure, man that you are, you do not think it an equitable exchange, but you may trust me when I tell you that what you have with Bruce Banner is not to be treated lightly, or with undue regard. The right lady will come, given due time and opportunity, but a relationship such as you have with the good doctor… It is nothing short of a gift."

"I know. And I don't," Steve said. "Treat it lightly, I mean." He poked at a leaf. 'He's my friend."

She looked him over. "We could be friends too, I think," she said. "Given worlds enough and time?"

"Are you lonely too, then?' he asked directly, looking up at her. She smiled, a little sadly.

"Always," she said. "Since my Haldorr was murdered so foully."

"Did you get the bastard, at least?'

"The bitch," she corrected. "And yes. For the moment. I in no way anticipate it being our last."

"Let me know if you ever need an extra sword there. Or shield, as the case may be."

"Why would such a law-abiding man as yourself make such an offer?'

'I only feel obliged to follow the laws in places which have laws that apply to me. Asgard is, as Coulson would say, outside my jurisdict…" He caught a sudden odd look on her face, and paused. "Do you know Phil?'

"I do," she said. "He is a most interesting man – he speaks little, but says much. I must admit that when Thor approached me with the suggestion that I meet yet another acquaintance of his, that I had hoped…"

She stopped. Steve sat back.

"I could introduce you properly," he suggested. "Discreetly, even." His brow wrinkled. "But don't you like warriors?'

"He blew a hole in Loki," Sif said. "A large one, or attempted to anyway, and you cannot tell me that he did not enjoy it."

"He's a bit scary," Captain America admitted. "Well, more than a bit. Especially since he got back. Tony thinks he's just waiting for a chance at round two, but with Fury this time. We all are in our own ways, I suppose; he, like me, is a lot older than he looks, and he's screwed us all over one way or another over the years. Always for the greater good of course, but it never fails to amaze at how the greater good always seems to benefit him. None of us are terribly fond of him on that personal level.'

"Hence the evolving tuna incident?'

"You heard about that, huh?'

"I did. His Highness was most amused. All of Asgard was amused; it made a most entertaining tale at the last feast.'

"I'll bet." He sat back again as the waiter came to remove their salad plates. "So. For the record… You're annoyed at Thor over Jane, but you don't really want him when it comes right down to it; you're just miffed that he chose her over you?"

"Tactless, but essentially correct. He is an idiot," Sif said morosely. "I do not know why I do care, really."

"You probably don't. You're just lonely, like you said," Rogers said. "And your lover is dead, and people laughed at you when you were a kid, and you never get over that, ever, no matter how much you prove them wrong after the fact.'

Sif examined him as the waiter set their entrees in front of them. He sat quietly, a single lock of blond falling over his eyes.

"He is my heart's habit," she said finally. "I suppose. And Haldorr is gone now, and as a warrior… I have always been particularly fond of red.'

"You don't wear it well," Steve said. "Or him. You deserve better, Lady."

"You are fair courteous, for such an innocent and tactless man, Steven Rogers."

"I try," he said. "Even if no one in this day and age seems to appreciate it." He picked up his fork and knife and sliced into his steak.

"What are you looking for in a woman?' she asked curiously. "Or in general?' He lifted a shoulder as he speared a hefty chunk of meat.

"Worlds enough and time,' he said. "And that ability to make the sun stand still. Has he lent you his Narnia books yet? Bruce, that is?'

"Not yet," she said. "I do not think we are on the same curriculum, even if you did recognize the quote."

"He didn't teach me that. Another friend of mine did. Back during the war. He memorized it, and quoted it so often to every girl who'd listen that I picked it up by osmosis."

She laughed. "And was it effective?"

"Very. I can still hear him reciting it to the adoring crowds."

"What was his name, this friend of yours?'

"Bucky."

"What happened to him? Do you know?'

"He died," Steve Rogers said shortly. "In battle."

Sif said nothing for a long moment. Overhead, the wind-chimes sang softly amid the shadows and green.

'There are worse ways to go," she said finally. "Even on this world."

"He wasn't a warrior," Steve said. "He was barely a soldier. He was just a kid who loved life and women and wine and song and adventure, and who went to war because that's what they told us, when it came right down to it, we should be doing.'

'Is that why you went?'

"No. My reasons were much more suspect. I just wanted to be a hero."

"I don't believe that."

"Why not?' He stabbed his steak again.

"Because I understand men who want to be heroes," Sif of Asgard said. "And they are rarely the ones who end up as heroes. The heroes are the ones who understand that there is a job to do, and a corresponding price to be paid, and that if they don't pay it themselves that the price will come out of a treasury that no kingdom on any world can afford to let run dry."

"Does your future king understand that?'

"I never cease to be amazed at what Thor understands," she said, and her lips tilted wryly. "And at what he doesn't understand. How could he possibly, possibly, have thought this was a good idea?'

"It wasn't a bad idea," Steve said. "It did get me out of the house. And you, obviously. And that being said… It wasn't his idea in the first place. It was Agent Romanoff's."

"Ah yes. The redoubtable Agent Romanoff. Is she with child, do you know?'

"WHAT?" He nearly choked on his steak.

"This obsession that she has developed with her acquaintance's romantic lives is rather out of character. The urge to see everyone about you settled happily could be indicative."

"Agent Romanoff, pregna… No. No. Ack. No. God Almighty. Do not even hint at that around her!"

"If she is, my hinting around will not change the fact."

"No, I know, but… Ack. Fury would absolutely shit; he'd…" He paused suddenly. "I wonder…"

"You wonder what, Captain Rogers?'

"The evolving tuna incident was funny, but… Everyone's still really really pissed off at the Coulson thing. I mean… Really pissed off. Pissed off enough, maybe, to cooperate on a mission specifically designed to target the person responsible?'

"Are you planning to hurt him?'

"No, no. that would be wrong. I think…" He leaned forward. "I think that Nick Fury needs to learn a lesson on the dangers of deception."

"How very moral of you, Captain Rogers. And potentially therapeutic, as the good Doctor might say. Shall we bring him in on it now?'

"No. he's in the middle of a date. That being said…" He reached for his phone. It rang once.

"Mon Capitaine! How goes the battle? Have you got her pinned yet? No, don't answer yet, let me switch to speaker first. I'm not the only one who wants to know."

"Shut up, Tony. Listen, we're still in agreement in the fact that Fury's a total dick, right? And that he needs to be taught a lesson on the values of loyalty, truth, friendship, and the American way?'

"Yes," Coulson's voice said. "We do. Tahiti, my ass. I didn't even get back pay, can you believe it? Apparently, I'm just supposed to be silently and graciously thankful that I'm still alive.'

"Fury said that?' Steve couldn't see Tony Stark's jaw hit the floor, but he could almost hear the thud.

"No. He said that he'd see what he could do, but that the budget was tight thanks to ongoing issues regarding the Chitauri recovery fund."

"You are one of the ongoing issues of the Chitauri recovery fund! You died!" Pepper Potts' voice wasn't quite indignant. Steve wasn't entirely sure what it was, but he was suddenly glad he was six miles away from Stark Tower. "Do you need money, Phil? He needs money, Tony! Give it to him, now!"

"I don't need money, Pepper." Coulson sounded amused. "I wouldn't mind hearing about this idea for a lesson, though. Go on, Captain.'

"I will," Steve said. "As soon as we round everyone up. It's going to take all of us, and very careful coordination.'

"Banner too?'

"Not unless you want the Other Guy to show up. I'm estimating that they've still got an hour left of Sense and Sensibility, and he's got tiramisu besides. I'll fill him in later."

'You got it. Stark Tower, ten o' clock tomorrow morning."

The phone clicked.

"Are you going to tell me about this plan of yours?" Sif inquired. "And am I invited to attend this meeting?"

"Of course," Steve said, and pushing his plate aside, leaned forward and began to talk rapidly and concisely. The Lady Sif's eyes widened in perceptible admiration and mirth.

"My goodness," she said, when he'd concluded. 'I am impressed, Captain Rogers. That is a plan that Loki himself would be proud of. In terms of the elemental strategic,' she hastened to add at the suddenly dubious look on his face. "Not in essential villainy." Even as she spoke, the phone rang. Steve picked it up.

"Rogers," he said.

"Hey Steve,' Bruce's voice was stretched and tight. Steve sat up immediately. "Coast is clear. Well, flooded, more like, but if you want to come home, don't delay on my account."

"What? Oh, Bruce, no. What happened?'

"The tiramisu went over well. Really well. The Other Guy loved it.'

"Oh. Oh God." His eyes widened. "Is she alright?'

"She's fine. Gone, but fine. I'm really sorry. I broke your Death Star before I managed to get him under control again."

"Don't worry about it. I'm so sorry, Bruce."

"Not your fault. Listen, I'm going out, okay? Don't worry; I'll go somewhere safe, but I just need to work off some stress. I'll be back in the morning.'

The phone clicked again.

"Shit," Captain America said unhappily. "He really liked her too. I mean… Really liked her."

"I'll talk to her," Sif said. He looked up.

"You will? I mean… You know her? Well enough to talk to her?'

"I do." She got to her feet. "Do you have her phone number?'

"I do, but…"

She held out a rather imperious hand. He dialled, and handed the cell off obediently.

"Maria," the warrior goddess said. "Sif. Are you alright? Doctor Banner just called Captain Rog… Oh, Maria. Don't cry. I'll be right there." She handed the phone back.

"Agent Hill is crying?' Steve looked horror-stricken. "But… He said he didn't hurt her! And that he got it under control!"

"Pure, innocent, tactless, and stupid," Sif of Asgard said in disgust. "No wonder Thor thought we'd get along; you're exactly like he is. I will be at the meeting at ten with Agent Hill. Call your friend back now, Captain Rogers, and make sure he's there. Revenge on Fury aside, we are going to fix this."

She strode out rapidly. Steve watched her go.

"Women," he said. 'I will never understand them."

"Fortunately for us, it's not a prerequisite," the waiter said, reappearing. "Shall I wrap up your dinner for you, sir?'

"Yeah, sure," Steve said. "Both of them. I have a room-mate; I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"Of course, sir." The waiter disappeared discreetly. Captain America sighed, then, diverted again, smiled grimly.

"Thus, though we cannot make our sun/Stand still, yet we will make him run," he quoted aloud. "You can't just mess with people's lives like you do, Fury. The greater good or no… You just… can't. There are consequences. And maybe once you've learned that… We can all get on with our lives. Happily, even.

He reached for his wallet, pulled out the company credit card, and sat back to wait for his packed dinners.