When Bucky woke up it took him a minute to remember where he was. He pushed the blanket off of him and tried to focus his eyes fully. According to the clock on Steve's wall it was 12:30 PM and Bucky couldn't remember ever sleeping that long. He felt a sort of relaxation that was so alien to him that he wondered if there was something wrong with him. Sleeping had proved to be a challenge ever since he'd decided not to go back to hydra. He couldn't recall ever willingly falling asleep but then he couldn't recall a lot of things. One of those things was eating when he was hungry. It had taken him a few days to realize that he needed to eat in order to survive. He couldn't remember eating but the process was somehow familiar to him, like most things were.

He hadn't planned on sleeping here. In fact, he hadn't planned on coming here in the first place. He had been avoiding Steve and his flying friend for a while now. It wasn't hard hiding from them. Being invisible was the winter soldier's specialty but he wasn't sure he wanted to be the winter soldier anymore. Something was happening to him. Something inside him had awoken and was trying to break free. It was nagging at him and demanding something that he couldn't understand. He'd began asking questions, wondering about things that had never crossed his mind before. Or at least he couldn't remember doing so. Questions like who was he?...or what was he, kept clouding his mind. Was he born to serve hydra? Did he have a right to do anything other than that? Was he ever small like the children that he saw around him? Or had he always been a weapon? An asset who was meant to be guided and used by others. That's what he'd always been thought but then he'd never considered the meaning of his life before. Hydra wouldn't be happy about him thinking so much. Questioning anything would surely mean punishment but he'd decided that he didn't want to be punished anymore, so he hadn't gone back. He found that he didn't like having too many thought because they were always accompanied by dizziness and headaches. Maybe he wasn't meant to question things but seeing Steve had awoken a feeling in him that made the thought of going back to hydra, of having his memories forcefully stolen from him more painful than any punishment that he could think of. The word hope came to mind. He didn't know what it meant but it made his eyes water. Not the way punishment or electrical currents going through his head did, this was different.

Tears of joy, he thought without understanding. He was tired of not understanding. Steve seemed to understand so he'd come to him.

He shook his head involuntarily to clear his thoughts and walked towards the mirror that was hanging on Steve's wall. Seeing his reflection in the mirror was strange. It was as strange as seeing the same image plastered all over the walls of a museum. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd gone to the museum exhibit. He kept going every time in hopes of finding some relief but that was the last thing that he found. The man in the pictures looked alive, had purpose. A national hero, it had said. He'd done everything he could to look like Bucky Barnes. Getting his hair cut in the barbershop was an experience he never wanted to have again. He wasn't sure who had been more terrified, the woman attempting to cut his hair or he himself. Looking like Bucky didn't change anything. The more he looked at the man's image the more he felt like he was being mocked. James Buchanan Barnes had a past, he had had a family, a home, and friends. The winter soldier did not have any of those things so how could he be this man? The winter soldier only had one thing, a mission. He couldn't survive without one so he had made it his mission to find James. Truth was, Steve was the only connection he had to James Buchanan Barnes. Steve felt like home, wherever or whatever that was. He had awoken in him an idea that refused to leave him alone. That maybe there was someplace in this world where he would be accepted other than hydra. Steve made him feel like he really could be James Barnes and man did he want to be him.

But he had tried to kill Steve, so why would he help him now? He was in the kitchen now doing something and Bucky wondered again what his intentions were. He had seemed happy to see him last night but Bucky wasn't sure he would want him to stay now.

Maybe it was an act

Maybe he wants to punish you too

People can't be trusted

Was it hydra thinking those thoughts or was it Bucky?

"Morning," Steve said walking out of the kitchen. "Sleep well?"

"I should go," Bucky said walking towards the door.

"You should have breakfast first, at least," Steve said but Bucky didn't stop.

"Bucky stay...please," he heard Steve say in a way that made Bucky stop. There was a sincerity in his tone that Bucky hand never heard before, at least not directed towards him. "You're hungry right?"

"Starving," Bucky said before he could stop himself. This brought the biggest smile to Steve's face. "Man that's good cus I made way too much stuff."

Too much stuff was an understatement. Steve had practically set out and prepared everything he could find in his fridge. It was the most beautiful looking table Bucky had ever seen...or maybe it was the first, he wasn't too sure.

To Steve's surprise, Bucky started eating with the utmost attention and almost childish delight. Steve thought he might have caught him smiling for a second but he couldn't be sure. "It was weird getting used to this much food, we didn't have this much growing up you know...definitely not during the war," Steve said taking a sip from his coffee. "I mean we mostly ate potatoes and beans and other boiled stuff..." Steve went on talking about the many delicacies that they didn't have before which had become common household foods nowadays. Bucky had no idea what he was talking about but it felt nice to have someone simply talking to him rather than giving him orders or demanding a mission report. Actually responding was something he had yet to learn so he just kept quiet. Steve didn't seem to mind though and just kept on chatting away. "Try the peanut butter, it's good." Bucky was more than happy to try everything. Steve apologized for burning the bacon but as far as Bucky was concerned it was the best breakfast he had ever had. Or maybe It was because he couldn't remember anything to compare it to. He thinks he ate a lot mostly because he didn't know when he was supposed to stop exactly. Steve wasn't eating though and was looking at him, lost in thought, with a smile on his face. It made Bucky feel a little uncomfortable.

"You're not eating?" He asked through mouthfuls.

"Hm oh yeah I am I am don't worry," Steve said coming out of his trance and putting a few pieces of bacon in his plate.

For a minute it felt like it was 1930. They were having breakfast at Steve's house and any minute now they'd have to head to school. For the first time in a long time, Steve felt content.