Summary: "There are questions I have to answer...things I have to do..." On a quest to fulfill a dream, Alice travels the world with the Company but finds herself leading a double life with twice the complication, thanks to a certain butterfly and an increasingly emotional correspondence with the Hatter that leaves her torn between the two worlds. Book One of the Alice in Underland trilogy.
Genre: Romance/Adventure
Pairing: Alice Kingsley & The Mad Hatter/Tarrant Hightopp
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or locations from Lewis Carroll's novels Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, nor do I own any characters or locations from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. All rights go to Lewis Carroll, Tim Burton, Linda Woolverton, Disney, etc.
Alice in Underland: The Letters
Part Three
29 September 1872
Dear Hatter,
I spent another day keeping busy with work for the Company, and just like last night, I joined Miss Prescott and Mr. Bowen after dinner for several rounds of cards.
Did you like my idea about asking you questions? I hope so because I have three new ones for you!
1. Besides making hats and having tea parties, what do you like to do? Do you enjoy reading? If so, I shall have to give you some of my favourite books to read when I come back. I'm currently reading a book called "Little Women" by an American author called Louisa May Alcott. It's a lovely story, one of my very favourites. I wonder if you'd like it. There's a female character in it called Jo March, who I greatly admire in particular.
2. If you could be someone else for just a day - tomorrow, for example - who would you be? I'd be Absolem. Then I could visit you in Underland and we could talk and I could finally hear what you think of everything...about my letters and all the things I've written to you, about what you've been doing these past several months, and other things.
3. What is your favourite holiday? Mine is Christmas. Do you celebrate Christmas in Underland? Actually, that brings up more questions. If you do celebrate Christmas then that would mean you believe in Christ. Do you believe in God? Is there religion in Underland?
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
How I love your questions and answers! They're wonderful.
1. I like to do anything artistic. Paint, sketch, make jewellery. I like to make dresses. You mentioned the other day how I made you that dress after I hid you in the teapot. When you come back, I shall make you a proper dress, a very special one, perhaps in pink (your secret favourite colour). Would you like that? To answer your other question, yes, I do like to read. It's one of my favourite things to do. I would love to read your favourite books, especially since they'd be from the Otherworld. I think I would find it quite interesting to read books from your world.
2. The same as you. I would be Absolem, so I could come to the Otherworld and see you.
3. No, we don't celebrate Christmas. What is it exactly and who is Christ? I'm not quite sure what a holiday is either. Yes, we believe in God, but we don't quite have a formal religion here, if I'm correctly understanding what religion is. How do I describe it? What we believe in is more like a knowledge of the Divine and of Fate.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
30 September 1872
Dear Hatter,
I'm starting to come up with a routine now and it's definitely making things better. I work on Company matters during the day, mostly doing paperwork, then I read a bit before dinner, then after dinner I play cards with Miss Prescott and Mr. Bowen. And now I have our questions! That's my favourite part of the day/night - writing to you.
So here are tonight's questions:
1. Do you dream in colour or black and white? Do you remember your dreams? I dream in colour. And I definitely remember my dreams. As a child, I dreamed about Underland all the time. I still do, though my dreams are different now. Sometimes I dream about the battle with the Jabberwocky.
2. Do you like music? Can you play an instrument? I told you in a previous letter, I can play the piano and quite enjoy it. I love music. It's one of my favourite things in the whole world.
3. Did you go to school? Are there schools in Underland?
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I'm so happy to hear that things are getting better. But I'm especially happy to know that writing to me is your favourite part of your day/night.
Here are my answers:
1. I dream in colour, and I remember my dreams much of the time. They're mostly about you.
2. I do like music, very much. I can't play an instrument because I never learned how but I would love to learn how to play the piano.
3. Yes, I went to school. There were schools in Underland before the Red Queen took over and destroyed everything. The White Queen is trying to begin restoring Underland to what it was before, but it shall be a long and arduous process, no doubt.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
1 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
The weather's starting to get a bit unpleasant so I"ll keep tonight's letter short and just stick with my questions.
Here they are:
1. What's your favourite thing to eat at tea? Mine is scones with strawberries and clotted cream.
2. Did you ever have an imaginary friend as a child? I did. It was a unicorn called Osha. She was lovely. Unicorns are magical creatures that don't exist in this world. Do they exist in Underland?
3. If you were to change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would like to be a more patient person, I suppose. It would certainly make my life easier. I get very frustrated much of the time.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I hope the weather isn't turning into one of those storms you talked about. I know you warned me that it could get quite bad, but you also told me that Absolem said you'd be alright so I'll try not to worry too much.
Here are my answers to your questions:
1. I like scones with stawberries and clotted cream too. I also like Battenberg cakes.
2. No, I never had an imaginary friend. But yours sounds delightful. Yes, we have unicorns here but they hide from everyone so it's very rare to actually see one.
3. What is the one thing I would change about myself, if I could? I wouldn't be mad.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
2 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
We seem to be caught in a rather fierce storm. I can't write much more than that because it feels like the ship is about to fall apart. It's a bit frightening, I have to tell you! Lord Ascot assured us at dinner that this isn't unusual and told us not to worry but to keep to our cabins until the weather improves.
I'd write some questions if I could but it's too hard to think straight. This storm is quite something. Despite Lord Ascot's assurances, I'm scared. I'm going to call for Absolem.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I hope you're alright! I hope Absolem can help. I wish I could. I wish I could be there with you and reassure you. I can't bear the thought of you being alone and scared.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
3 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
I called for Absolem last night and he told me everything would be alright, that it was just a storm and we'd be fine. I made him stay with me all last night and asked him to watch over me while I slept. He didn't protest because he could see I was scared.
I'm afraid I don't have much to write about besides the bad weather. I'd ask you some new questions but I'm feeling rather ill because of the way the ship is rocking back and forth plus it's hard to concentrate. This leg of the journey is taking forever and we still have almost two more weeks before we get to Bombay.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I hate that you're so unhappy. I wish I could do something. I'm so frustrated! I want to be there with you...or at least be able to write to you and send you my letters. You sound so depressed.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
4 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
The weather just keeps getting worse. And so does my mood. I can't wait to get to Bombay and off this ship!
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I'm sorry things are going so badly. It makes me feel so helpless. I would do anything to make you feel better. IForever yours,
Tarrant
5 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
The Cape of Storms is certainly living up to its name. I can't really write much more than that. The ship is rocking back and forth, making it impossible to keep my hand steady. It's also making me feel ill. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I hope you've passed the worst of it by now. I'm thinking of you too. As always.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
6 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
We're still getting hit hard by bad weather. I'll write more when things calm down. As you can probably see from my handwriting, the ship is rocking back and forth quite madly. It's quite something, but I'm almost getting used to it, at least enough to not be so scared.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I wish I were there with you. I miss you so much. And knowing you're going through such harrowing weather has me so anxious and sad.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
7 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
I'm so frustrated! The seas are so rough we can do nothing but stay put in our cabins. We're not even allowed on deck because it's too dangerous. Miss Prescott came to my cabin to visit and we tried to play cards earlier but it was so rocky it was too hard to concentrate. I'm bored but I can't even write a long letter to you or even ask you some new questions because it's too rough out, as you can see from my handwriting.
I miss talking to you, even if it is only through these letters.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I'm sorry it's so terrible right now. I'm as frustrated as you are. I tried to speak to Absolem today about writing to you and sending you my letters. He refuses to tell me how to do it. I feel quite angry about that.
It's not fair. You should know that I'm thinking of you, that I'm missing you, that I wish I were there with you. It's not fair! Why am I not allowed to write to you?
Forever yours,
Tarrant
8 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
This is awful! We're stuck in another dreadful storm and it won't let up. I can't write any more because the lurching of the ship is making me ill and I need to lay down.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
How I wish I were there with you. I would look after you. The only reason I'm not going mad with worry is because I asked Absolem about it the other day and he assured me you were safe and that the ship would be fine, despite the magnitude of the storms you're passing through.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
9 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
I can't write much because of the storm. It really is dreadful and more than a bit scary. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and missing you.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I'm so worried about you. I hate that you're going through this. I went to see Absolem today so he could reassure me once again that you'd be alright. He told me a bit about what it was like being on the ship in such turbulent storms. It sounds absolutely terrible! I wish I were there with you, more than ever.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
10 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
The storms have lessened in strength a bit but not enough to allow me to write a long letter to you or even some new questions. The ship is still rocking back and forth too violently. The last time I saw him, Absolem promised me we'd get through this no worse for the wear. I have to wonder though. I wouldn't be surprised to see part of the ship missing after what we went through the past several days!
Forgive me for writing such tiresome letters. They're all rather the same lately, aren't they? Should I wait to write to you until I have something else to talk about? I don't want to bother you. I'd ask you some questions but honestly, I'm just too depressed right now.
I miss you.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I went to see Absolem again today. I asked him to give you a message next time he visits you. I hope he does.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
11 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
Good God! It's almost over! Finally we'll be getting to Cape Town. It's beginning to seem like a dream! I can't wait to get off this ship. We should get there sometime in the middle of the night, while I'm asleep.
I called for Absolem a little while ago. He was nicer than usual. I suppose he could see how miserable I was. He even told me he saw you earlier today, when I asked him about you. He said you wanted to convey the message that you're very happy about getting my letters, no matter what they say or what they're about, and to keep writing to you. That made me happy. I was starting to worry that maybe you were finding my most recent letters annoying or thinking I was writing to you too much. I told Absolem that and he laughed at me. He's so odd sometimes, don't you think?
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
So we both talked to Absolem about each other, did we? That can't be a coincidence. I'm very glad Absolem conveyed my message to you at least, even if he won't tell me how to write to you. How could you possibly think I'd be annoyed by your letters or think you were writing to me too much? I was reading your last few letters again and I seemed to see little hints of something. I'm beginning to think that you do feel something for me. Though I'm also fairly certain you're not quite aware of it.
Am I right? Do you feel something special towards me, something more than friendship? And if you do, what is it that holds you back from seeing the truth, my dear Alice?
Forever yours,
Tarrant
12 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
Cape Town is rather interesting. The port is quite large and very busy, in a place called Table Bay. Cape Town itself is breathtaking. There is a beautiful mountain here, called Table Mountain. The view of it from the ship is stunning. We had a tour around the city today which was exciting. I also walked along the beach there and collected some shells. I found one in particular which I picked specially for you. When I come back to Underland I shall give it to you.
It was so good to get off the ship and walk around and see some life again. For the first several hours when we were ashore I had the strangest sensation in my body. It felt like I was still rocking back and forth, as it did on the ship. We all felt it. Lord Ascot said it's a common phenomenon when you've been at sea for a long while, particularly if you've been through rocky waters and storms like the ones we experienced. I noticed Miss Prescott was actually swaying a bit. I wonder if I was too.
At the moment we're back on board the ship to sleep, but we're staying for another day, as the Company does business here. I'll be going back ashore tomorrow in the capacity of an apprentice for the Company. Lord Ascot said today I was to be a tourist, but tomorrow we get back to work.
It's been a rather long day and I'm quite exhausted. I know I promised you a longer letter, and this was a bit longer than my most recent ones, but I'm rather tired so I'm afraid this will have to do for tonight. I'll try to write a longer letter tomorrow.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I'm glad you finally got off the ship. No matter how much Absolem reassured me, I couldn't help but be terribly worried about you.
Did you really pick a shell for me from the beach in Cape Town? How very wonderful!
I look forward to your letter tomorrow. Write as much or as little as you want. Just keep writing me, dear Alice.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
13 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
Today was very busy. It was my first opportunity as an apprentice to see the Company doing its business in one of its trading routes. I enjoyed it. I have a head for business, I think. Or at least a vision. I'm learning so much. Some of the men we dealt with ignored me completely, because I'm a woman, which annoyed me but didn't surprise me. That's how it is here in this world, Tarrant. Women have very little power, except the Queens, I suppose. Is it like that in Underland?
What is it like now that the White Queen has regained her crown?
How I wonder what you're doing with yourself these days. Sometimes I imagine you at the castle making hats for the Queen and the Ladies of her Court. Other times I picture you having Tea with the March Hare, Mallymkun and Chessur. And then there are times when I picture you all alone. I don't know why. Are you alone? Do you miss me?
It's been such a long day and I'm so tired, my dear Hatter. We set sail just a short while ago so we're back at sea now. Hopefully it won't be as rough. I promise I shall write you a much longer letter tomorrow.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
How dare those men ignore you! Can't they see how incredibly clever you are? If the conventions of your world are that women don't do what you're doing, it stands to reason that you must be very special indeed to have been given the chance to do something that others can't. It makes me so angry to know that people are treating you that way. You might not care, you might say you're used to it or it's nothing you didn't expect...but I feel furious! How dare they!
I'm sorry, my dear Alice. I just had to take a walk to calm down. I feel so protective of you and I hate knowing you aren't being treated the way you deserve to be treated.
Yes, I'm alone. And yes, I miss you. As always.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
14 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
Today was a long day, and rather boring. I know that's what it will be like whenever we're at sea. At least there aren't any storms and the weather is good. Still, it's a bit disheartening because we shall be at sea for quite awhile, as we're going straight to Bombay now. We were going to stop at another port in Africa but apparently there's urgent business waiting to be dealt with in Bombay so unfortunately there's no choice but to go. God! I'm so depressed, Tarrant. This stretch is going to be as long as the one we just went through. I could call Absolem but he'd probably get annoyed with me.
How I wish you were here. I had to leave Underland after Frabjous Day, for the reasons I explained, but it's a shame that you couldn't come back to this world with me. Then you could be here right now talking to me, sharing in this adventure. Not that it's much of an adventure at the moment. I was imagining you on board the ship today, masquerading as one of the Company men, and I couldn't help but laugh, which earned me some rather strange looks as I wasn't alone at the time. The Company men are so boring and drab and you're so you. I mean that in the best way, Tarrant. You're so interesting and extraordinary and different. There's no way you could pass yourself off as one of these dullards. Though right now I wish you could.
I'm feeling sorry for myself, aren't I? How horrid. Forgive me. I just miss you. And not because I'm bored. It's strange how I was only with you for a few days in Underland (I don't quite remember the time I was there as a child), yet I feel such a strong connection to you. Is it because we went through so much together, in such life and death circumstances, that it created a special bond between us? Perhaps, but I don't feel the same kind of bond with the others from Underland. It's different with you.
Do you feel the same, Hatter? The bond between us, I mean? I hope so or else I should feel quite silly going on about it like this. But no, I think you must feel it. Even though we're in two different worlds right now, I have this strange sense that I can feel your presence. Does that sound odd? I don't really know how to explain it. I feel you. I feel like you're missing me as I miss you. Am I right about that? How I wish you could write to me. I should like to know the answers to my questions.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
Oh God! I think I might go mad not being able to write back to you. I'm too upset to write anything else today.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
15 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
You won't believe what happened today! One of the Company men, a Mr. Radford, has taken it into his head to try to pursue me, romantically. He made his interest quite clear. And I made my lack of interest quite clear. But I don't think he took my protestations seriously. How tedious this trip will be if I have to keep avoiding him or if I have to keep trying to fend off his clumsy and unwanted attempts at wooing me. It's absurd. Honestly! He's worse than Hamish! Poor Hamish. I shouldn't have said that because Hamish at least is a nice person, I suppose, he's just not the one for me. But this Mr. Radford is...insipid. He's so lifeless. There's absolutely nothing interesting about him. Do I sound harsh? I can't help it. He just cornered me after dinner and it took considerable effort to politely get away. I have to be "nice" to a certain degree, as I have to work with him, and I don't want to get a reputation at the Company as being rude or difficult.
I have to pick my battles very carefully. It's hard enough as it is, being a woman and trying to gain their respect.
How annoying. I have a headache now so I'm off to bed.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
That Mr. Radford better stay away from you, especially since you made it clear you aren't interested.
I hate that it's so hard for you in your world. Why are the men so disrespectful of women there? It doesn't make any sense. I hate that you have to be "nice" and pick your battles.
I hate that we're apart.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
16 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
I'm hiding in my cabin right now. Mr. Radford is still bothering me. He's under the impression that I'm working at the Company as a way to find a husband. It's so incredibly insulting! I wanted to slap his face! But again, I have to be "nice" and can't respond the way I really want to.
How I wish you were here! Then we could sit here and hide out together in my cabin and I'd teach you how to play backgammon if you don't already know it, and we could play game after game until this ship gets to Bombay.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I should challenge that man to a duel. How dare he insult you that way! Don't the men there see that women have minds? I know you can fight your own battles, darling Alice, but since you have to be "nice" I could be the not nice one.
I don't know backgammon but if you taught me I'd play as many games as you like.
I miss you. I wish I were there with you too.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
17 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
You won't believe this, Tarrant! That ridiculous man actually asked me to marry him today. Luckily we were alone, except for Miss Prescott being present, because I laughed in his face. I couldn't help it. It was so ludicrous I just burst out laughing and once I started, I couldn't stop. I was doubled over in hysterics. The more I thought about it, the harder I laughed. Miss Prescott came to my rescue and said I wasn't feeling well. She knows how precarious my position is as a woman working for the Company.
I hope word doesn't get out. But I don't think it will. I expect I embarrassed him and he wouldn't want anyone to know. I suppose I'll see tomorrow how this turns out.
I miss you.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I admit I laughed quite hard, imagining you laughing at that man. I could just picture it. How utterly wonderful you are!
I miss you too.
Forever yours,
Tarrant
18 October 1872
Dear Hatter,
Mr. Radford has backed off. Finally. He's ignoring me completely now. I don't think he told anyone because no one's treating me any differently. Thank God for that! I confess, I was a bit worried.
Mr. Bowen has been very good about trying to show the other men that they need to respect me. I think he's decided to take on the role of "older brother" and he and Miss Prescott have joined forces to help things run more smoothly between me and the Company men who still resent me.
How tiresome these games I have to play are! I would love to write more to you but I feel a bit depressed right now.
I wish you were here! Can't you ask Absolem to help you come here so you could be a stowaway on the ship? I'd hide you.
Goodnight, dear Tarrant.
Yours always,
Alice
My dearest Alice,
I'm very happy to hear that Mr. Radford isn't going to bother you anymore. I'm also glad that Mr. Bowen and Miss Prescott are there to help you, but it makes me angry that there are still men resenting you. Who do they think they are? And they're making you feel depressed. That makes me furious!
What's a stowaway? Whatever it is, if it means I could be there with you, I'd be one.
Forever yours,
Tarrant