The Big Talk
Callie POV Stef and Lena have left me to be myself which I am grateful for I just want to be on my own without them hawking at me every second of the day with that pitiful look in their eyes, Mariana's not here, I'm glad she probably sleeping in their room ,I never went to see her again, I told her to not tell and she promised, she broke that promise how am i supposed to ever trust her again.
Stef and Lena have left me to be myself which I am grateful for I just want to be on my own without them hawking at me every second of the day with that pitiful look in their eyes, Mariana's not here, I'm glad she probably sleeping in their room ,I never went to see her again, I told her to not tell and she promised, she broke that promise how am i supposed to ever trust her again.
I'm just lying here staring at the ceiling, all these thoughts are running through my head, what am I supposed to do know, Stef and Lena know and they want to talk about it in the morning, I'm not ready to discuss it with no one, no one was supposed to find out, I'm fine that's what I keep telling myself anyway, I know I'm not fine but I don't want anyone to worry about me, I'm not used to people worrying about me or caring, it's nice that they take the time out for me, but I'm afraid what they might say or do if they ever find out the true meaning of my nightmares, sometimes I am that scared to fall asleep I try and keep myself up indulging in coffee and load music but that only works for so long until my eyes can take it no more and I finally fall into a deep sleep where I am trapped, with all the reminders of what happened before I came to the Fosters.
My Nightmare It's hard for me to talk about my nightmare without getting myself worked up but it's about time I told my story to someone even if it's just you guys reading, hopefully when I'm strong enough I be able to tell Stef and Lena without them getting mad, they probably won't get mad but all these thoughts in my head tell me different, that they might not want me anymore they might send me to a group home or back to juvie, I never want to go back there, you probably think I'm silly with all these thoughts in my head, but I don't know what to do anyway back to my nightmare.
It's hard for me to talk about my nightmare without getting myself worked up but it's about time I told my story to someone even if it's just you guys reading, hopefully when I'm strong enough I be able to tell Stef and Lena without them getting mad, they probably won't get mad but all these thoughts in my head tell me different, that they might not want me anymore they might send me to a group home or back to juvie, I never want to go back there, you probably think I'm silly with all these thoughts in my head, but I don't know what to do anyway back to my nightmare.
It's light, the sun is shining brightly through my window, the birds are whistling and it's peaceful, I am happy nothing can take this feeling away from me, then everything goes black, clouds appear in the sky, and the sky rips open with the floods, thunder and lightning appear and there are loud footsteps slowly walking up the stairs and he's shouting my name, his voice is creepy, he barges into my room and stands there with an evil grin on his face, the room is getting smaller and smaller and I start to feel small, his on top of me grabbing my wrist and trying to tug on my clothes i start to scream but no voice comes out, he just laughs at me repeating over and over again that none will hear me and that no one will save me and it's what I deserve ,he he he rapes me, he gets up and throws my clothes on top of me and leaves the room, before telling me if I ever tell anyway he will kill me, then I wake up I'm scared I can't control my sobbing I really want to tell Lena she seems so forgiving and maybe she will forgive me, but Stef she seems scary especially when she in Cop mode, I don't know what to tell her, I'm petrified
Callie POV
I get out of bed and start pacing my room, I don't want to go back to sleep, it's only 4 o clock there still 2 hours before I need to wake, but no way am I going back to sleep, I went to head downstairs but I know from experience that Stef is a light sleeper and probably hear me go downstairs and I'm not in the mood for her lecture right now, or in the morning I want them to forget what they saw and leave me be but I know that won't happen, I grab my MP3 and start listening to some tracks passing backwards and forwards as I do I am totally oblivious the fact that my door is open.
Stef POV
She been pacing up and down her room now for a good hour, maybe we should stop her or talk to her, I am concerned about her, I know we said tomorrow but look at her she looks so lonely she doesn't seem to notice her surroundings, it like she wrapped up in her own little world to not notice.
Lena POV
We are both really concern for her babes, but there's no point in barging in and talking to her now who knows what she might do, we don't know whats going on in that head of hers,but she knows we are here for her, we tell her every day, it might take some time but she will come to us eventually, we just have to give her space, who knows what that girl's been through, but we are not going everywhere and she will soon realise that TBC