Note: got stuck..and now trying to get back on that writing wagon....
He tried, he really did. He would have told her, as soon as the hour was over. He would have gone into his car, and driven to her apartment. He was just trying to get ready, waiting for the right time. But the hours ticked by into the next day, and then carried on ticking into the next, until a few hundred hours had gone by into what could only have been a few days. He was still going to tell her, of course. He had made up his mind, after all. He wanted her. He would tell her. Just, not till the minute hand reaches the number 12 on his clock again..
He sat in his chair, behind the paperwork piled on his desk, the door ajar. He stared at the clock above his door. The past week was almost gone, and with it, his excuses. A week was too long a time to still try to hide his real feelings behind irrational decisions and impulses, caused by the horror of Nick's kidnapping. The minute hand ticked into place. He felt himself relaxing, letting out a breath he did not know he was holding. Once again, he had set the timer back to zero.
One, two, three..
He took his eyes off the clock. He had heard the younger man's heavy footsteps, and watched him now as he passed by his office, a smile on his face. I'm OK. Nick had returned back to the lab, subdued, but not without his usual cautious optimism. He was not OK, and won't be for a long time.
Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three..
Warrick came in next, walking down the same corridor that Nick did not a few seconds ago. He stopped by the doorway of Grissom's office to say hello, his left hand on the doorway. Grissom noted the gold wedding band on his ring finger. Simple, quiet, functional; just like his courtship and his apparent marriage. Grissom nodded in response. "Congratulations." Warrick gave him a small smile, and left to greet Nick with a hug.
"Hey buddy, welcome back,"
Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three...
He collated the assignment slips on his desk that Judy had passed on to him from PD. As he got up from his chair, Catherine breezed in. Her appearance was impeccable as always, her walk as confident as ever. She had a big smile on her face that would disappear later when she saw that unobtrusive wedding band. Right now though, she was giving Nick her brightest smile, and her biggest bear hug. Her smile was softer when she looked at Warrick, her eyes lingering too long on his to notice the thin sliver of gold.
Forty-one, forty-two, forty-three...
He came in to the conference room with assignments in his hands and butterflies in his stomach. He looked at the three oldest members of his team gathered there. The three that Ecklie had taken away from him to put into Swing shift. There was a certain camaraderie and gravitas in the room that he had missed when they were gone. Not that his two other members were not mature and capable adults. He just at times felt the two-decade gap between his world and theirs. With all of them back together, he could ignore the obvious differences. There would now be more bodies, more cases, spaces, time in between seeing each other to hide his emotions behind.
Fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three..
He greeted Nick back with a handshake, he did not do hugs. He looked at all three of them. It really was good to have them back, but he was missing two members of his team. His team. And he was particularly anxious to see one of them again. He looked at his wristwatch, and decided to give them till the next minute was up before leaving for the crime scene. It was a hot case, and Brass was already waiting. Besides, he was not sure how much more small talk he could make in this room, without having Nick's survival, Warrick's marriage and Catherine's happiness taunting him about his inaction during the week. He was a coward, he knew that. But he had spent too many years building up his reputation to have it knocked down by an office scandal. He had spent too many months being reminded of the improbability of his age and hers converging at the same point.
He had spent too many years reassuring himself that that was why he never reciprocated Sara's love for him.
Sixty.
He told Nick to give Greg and Sara a call to meet them at their crime scene. He left the room with Catherine as they walked towards the car park. He had again managed to delay seeing her, delay making his feelings known to her, even for those few minutes and seconds before they left to start work proper. He sighed. Once again, he was being a coward.
The minute hand ticked steadily on.