Another update :) So this is kind of where it gets more like the original story. At the end of the chapter that is.
And a thanks to RemyTheReaper, who looked over the beginning of this fic to make sure House didn't sound too emo! LOL
Thanks to everyone that has been reviewing and adding this to alert and what not. :) It makes me feel special.
This time after the world around House and Thomas stood still, House recognized where they were. House had only spent the past however many years working at the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, and he would recognize it any day.
"Why am I here now?" House asked Thomas with a sideways glance. Thomas merely shrugged.
"This is your past, your life, your story. You tell me why we're here Greg," Thomas said cryptically.
House sighed. They were standing in the middle of a hallway, and House guessed that they must be eight to ten years in the past judging from the appearance of the décor of the hospital. Medical personal and other people scurried around the hallway like they still did today; going to whatever business they needed to tend to without taking a seconds glance at what they were missing when they passed by. They walked past House and Thomas without acknowledging them like the other people in the memories that Thomas had dragged House through. House looked around, looking for a clue that would tell him why he was here and why Thomas thought that this was an important part of his life.
"Try looking in there," Thomas said, pointing to a private room in the corner of the hall.
House limped towards the room where the curtains were drawn, nervous at what he would find. He looked over his shoulder to see Thomas leaning against the nurse's counter, motioning for House to go on without him. House shrugged, but then decided if Thomas was going to finally give him and his past some privacy, his wasn't going to deprive himself of that matter.
Pressing his hand against the cool glass of the sliding door to the room that Thomas had directed him to, House wondered what was on the other side. Taking a deep breath, House went through the glass door.
On the other side, House found himself sitting up in a hospital bed, about ten years younger. Knowing immediately what point of life this was, House wanted to turn back, but he found himself fixated to the scene. It was right after he had the surgery to fix the damage from the infarction, the thing that crippled him for life.
Looking at his younger self, House was amazed at how much he had aged in…ten years? He didn't even know how long it had been. His hair was thicker and he had fewer lines on his face and he looked overall healthier even though he was sick in a hospital. But at the moment, his younger self was consumed with anger and was taking it out on everybody else in the room. Doctor Lisa Cuddy was standing against the door, and Stacy was sitting in the chair next to Greg's bed. Both women looked taken aback at his outburst, and House was also.
"I told you I didn't want you to do anything!" Greg yelled at Stacy. "I trusted you!"
Stacy bit her bottom lip. "I know Greg, but I had to. You were dying-,"
"It's not your choice for me to live or die!"
"House," Lisa said curtly (House noticed how know he had changed from Greg to House in one memory), "It was Stacy's decision. She's your proxy."
"She's not anymore. I don't want you to-,"
"Greg!"
"Don't Greg me!"
"Shut the hell up!" Stacy shouted, closing her eyes in frustration. She took a deep breath, and said, "I'm sorry. I just love you more than your leg."
"If you loved me, then you would have not gone against my wishes," Greg muttered.
Stacy reached over and grabbed Greg's hand. "I know you may hate me, but I did it for you, because I love you."
"I'll never forgive you," Greg spat, jerking his hand out of hers.
Stacy's lips quivered as she willed herself not to cry, but she managed to say, "That's okay."
Greg scoffed. "Fuck you." He then looked up at Lisa who was still watching the lover's quarrel. "And fuck you for letting her."
Lisa's eyes widened in shock, but then narrowed as she glared at the man on the hospital bed and then disappeared out the door with her lab coat trailing behind her. Stacy stood up out of her chair and stared out the window that overlooked the city, while Greg rubbed his damaged thigh.
House rubbed his thigh, much like his younger self was doing.
"So?"
House wiped around to see Thomas standing behind him.
"So what?" House snapped.
"What did you think of yourself right then?"
"I…" House looked over to Stacy who was wiping her eyes, facing the window so Greg wouldn't see her cry. Even though he was no longer as emotionally attached to her, House still felt a pang of guilt seeing her cry over something he did, so many years ago. However, he still felt the anger flare inside of him when he thought about what she had done. She approved the surgery that had made him in chronic pain for the rest of his life.
"Do you think that you would still be here if she didn't let them go ahead and do the surgery on your leg?" Thomas asked.
"Most likely…not."
"So why are you complaining about living?"
"Because, it was my choice for me not to have it, and she knew I didn't want to, but she did it anyway." House looked over at his younger self, who was now lying on his back, with his face turned away from Stacy. "And Cuddy knew I didn't want it too."
"Greg, honestly? Do you know why they wanted you to have the surgery?"
"To save my life, blah, blah, blah. I know that. But what about what I want?" House asked.
"Sometimes, what you want isn't the best thing. And what about what others want? Stacy and Lisa and everyone else wanted you to live."
"But-,"
"And sometimes, you can't always get what you want," Thomas said, grinning at House. House rolled his eyes, annoyed at the angel's insistence.
"Come on, we're done here," Thomas said.
The next scene that House found himself repeating was one from not too long ago. Chase, Cameron and Foreman were gathered around the glass table in the conference room, and he was at the white board jotting down things they said. Foreman said something about leaving, but then stopped when a man walked uncertainly through the door.
"Which one of you is Dr. House?" the man asked.
"No," House said looking to Thomas. Thomas shook his head, leaving House to go through the experience where he got shot again.
Before he knew it, the man had pulled out his gun and fired one shot at House's past self. Past House fell to the ground, knocking over the white board, Cameron covered her mouth in shock, and Chase and Foreman made a move towards House lying on the floor. Then the man fired another shot, making the past House submerge into a hallucination. This time, House got to witness what had happened in the moments that he had lost.
"What the hell?" Foreman yelled. He took a step closer to the man, but the man then aimed the gun in Foreman's direction.
"Take a step closer, and I'll shoot," the man warned.
Chase stepped back with his hands up and Cameron whimpered and looked away from the man threatening them to the bleeding form of House on the floor. Many people in the hallway were now pointing into the office and gazing in fear. Losing his nerve, the man panicked and ran out of the room. Chase and Cameron rushed to unconscious House on the floor, while Foreman ran into the hallway, shouting orders to nurses that were standing outside the door.
"Oh my God," Chase said as he soaked blood up from House's neck with a towel. "Oh my God."
Cameron hurriedly unbuttoned House's shirt to get to his stomach wound. She broke into a sob and looked up at Chase, who met her gaze for a moment before he got back to work.
Foreman ran back into the room and knelt down next to Cameron. "Come on son of a bitch, don't die on us," he said, pulling on a pair of gloves and joined Chase and Cameron in the task of saving their mentor.
"You see that?" Thomas asked.
House looked away from his former fellows leaning over his past self, trying to stop his bleeding. "What? I didn't expect them to let me lay there and bleed to death all over the floor. They did what they are supposed to do."
"Right. But they did more. You may not think so, but they care for you very much. They would have been heartbroken if you died."
"Sure. They might have even cried."
"They might have. What about that time on the bus? Robert, Eric, Allison, and everyone else there held their breath in anticipation because they all though that you were done for."
House had no answer.
"Even if you'd like to not think so Greg, people do care about you," Thomas whispered.
House thought back to the time where he had faked brain cancer and when the three of them, Chase, Cameron and Foreman, all turned up at his front door overjoyed that they had found out that he wasn't going to die after all. Then House's happy thought came crashing down when he remembered the look of disappointment they shared when they found that he had been lying.
"You did hurt them though, by doing that," Thomas said, obviously able to know what House was thinking of.
"Yeah."
Thomas snapped his fingers again, this time taking them to an even more recent time in his life. House saw himself in a hospital bed again, only this time it was after he had come out of the coma after the deep brain stimulation. Wilson stood at House's door, but then walked away, only leaving House with the tired, empty gaze that his face had had when looking at House. House remembered of what Wilson had said, how House was not a good friend, and was never doing anything for anyone else but himself, and that he wanted others to join in on his misery…
Snap. Now House was at his father's funeral, watching himself insult his father during the eulogy, and the look of shame and disappointment on his mother's face, and then him walking away as his mother tried to talk to him, but he just ignored her…
Snap. He was now at Cuddy's house, and his past self was looking into Cuddy's eyes after he had kissed her. All he muttered was "Goodnight," and he walked away, leaving Lisa Cuddy speechless and confused…
Snap. House was now watching himself look at Lisa Cuddy holding her new foster baby. She looked complete and happy, and House remembered how he had felt that now she would never need anyone else…
"Greg."
House looked up. Thomas was standing in front of him, wind blowing his coat wildly. They were now back on the hospital rooftop.
"I…" House looked up at the night sky. "I've done so many things wrong in my life…"
"No! You've saved your mother, and you save people every day. You've inspired all the fellows that you have taught-," Thomas explained, but House cut him off.
"That's not enough. Wilson was right, they all were right. I've drowned myself in misery, and I've made others have it too, because of me. My mom, Stacy, Wilson, Cuddy…" House sighed. "My life has been horrible. I wish I had never been born."
"Really?" Thomas asked.
House nodded. "If I wasn't ever alive, everything would be better. My dad would not have had to call a kid "son" that was not his, my mom would have been happy not to have a miserable son, people would have been saved of heartbreak…" House was overwhelmed with feelings of grief, and the utter disappointment that his life has been. The only thing he had made for himself was his career. He had no relationships, not many friends, no kids…nobody would miss him if he wasn't alive. House wished that Thomas had not stopped him from jumping off the roof.
"Well, if you feel that way," Thomas said simply.
"What?"
"You said you wished you never were born. You really want that?" Thomas asked.
House nodded.
"Fine." Thomas looked up for a second, and then looked back at House. "Done."
House looked to Thomas in shock. "What?"
"You were never born. You got your wish."
House took a step forward, and looked down at his leg. "My leg, it doesn't hurt!"
"Of course it doesn't. You were never alive, so no infarction, no pain."
House grinned. "I like this already. And trust me...I'm not going to change my mind."
Thomas nodded. "If you say so."
House smiled, and ran down the stairs into the hospital to see how a world without Gregory House fared.
*dramatic music* What will happen next?! Oh no! So review, please. If you want. All you got to do is push the greenish button and type a few words :) Thanks!