Qualifications Chapter 3
John, Cam and Sam had luckily been left out of the afternoon's proceedings between the Jaffa council, General O'Neill and the Jaffa that infiltrated Baal's home base.
They had adjourned for the day and General O'Neill was left to his own devises until the morning.
"Well kids, what's for dinner?"
"Well, the Jaffa have the desert catch of the day, or there are MRE's, Sir" Mitchell responded.
"As interesting as mystery meat sounds, I'll have the MRE."
"Never in my life did I ever imagine a General eating MRE's" John really couldn't get over a General off world, in the sand, in BDU's eating MRE's with the rest of them.
O'Neill looked at him incredulously.
"Sir!" he added as an afterthought.
"Oh, c'mon Sheppard, you should know by now I'm not exactly fond of military pomp." "Actually, I think I'm kind of offended, I mean, do I really look like a General to you?"
If it wasn't for the snickers, smiles and attempts by Sam and Cam to retain their mirth and the raised eyebrow and slight smirk by Teal'c; John probably would have clammed up in an 'open mouth insert foot' moment. But O'Neill was right, a General was probably the last thing O'Neill resembled so John played it smooth.
"No sir, in fact a General is probably the last thing you resemble."
Sam and Cam broke in fits of laughter and Teal'c looked even more amused without changing his expression what so ever, maybe it was the firelight. By now they had taken up places around an abandoned fire as they dug into their packs for MRE's.
"Damn straight!" O'Neill said nonchalantly leaning back slightly and adjusting the visor of his hat.
"Well then, chicken or beef?" John asked.
"Chicken."
They sat around the fire eating their MRE's and sharing stories. There wasn't a person there that couldn't put an amusing spin on a tale, but Cam had to be about the best with his slightly southern drawl and candor.
For all John had seen in Pegasus, if any of these 'fish tales' as he came to think of them were anywhere near true, then Pegasus had nothing on the Milky Way for bizarre cultures.
Currently they were on the topic of strange dress they had been forced to wear over their years. John was thankful he had never been forced out of his BDU's.
"Hey Carter, remember that get up they dressed you in on that planet... the one with the Mongols, where the son of the Chief kidnapped you and tried to trade you for a rival Chief's daughter?"
"Oh! Don't remind me!"
Cam and John looked at them as they laughed. It was then that John realized that while Cam was co-lead of SG-1 he hadn't been that way from the beginning, unlike John and his team. He also noted that while O'Neill was currently a General, he wasn't always so and as leader of SG-1 had grown close to his teammates. The look in the General's eye when recalling stories and hearing about ones he'd missed was one that couldn't be explained by words. And the tension and the longing and sorrow between Carter and O'Neill was... heartbreaking, to say the least.
John let his mind wander a little more as they laughed and described the get up in detail.
He wondered what it must have been like for them. To be that close day after day, falling for each other but always being held apart by that invisible wall. What would it have been like if Elizabeth had been part of his team, off world and in the middle of the death and blood right along with him. Would that make him more determined or more afraid of pursuing his feelings for her. It was nerve wrecking enough the danger she was already in, but to place Elizabeth in the place of say, Teyla... he actually didn't want to think about it. Then again, Sam was an entirely different type of woman, very unique.
"So how much was she worth?" Cam asked. They had been getting to the part of 'buying' her back from the Chief who thought she was the most beautiful object he had ever seen, but had been coming to realize she was more trouble than she was worth.
"More than ten women!" O'Neill said proudly.
Carter just blushed and shrugged it off. "It's only because they had never seen anyone with Blonde hair or blue eyes before. I was unique, that was all. But got the chance at payback when I kicked his ass in a duel for the life of his daughter"
"Oh, you're certainly unique" O'Neill teased, but the look in his eye told everyone he meant it, in a good way.
"I'm pretty sure you were worth every penny. In fact, General, you should have seen her in Lucian style leather! Now that was an outfit!" Sam threw a marshmallow at Cam for the comment. O'Neill never forgot the marshmallows!
"Yeah well, at least I'm not always loosing my pants!" she teased back.
"Hey, it's been a while since anything like that has happened."
"Well you're forgetting to tell them that the last time it did happen, we found you handcuffed by Vala to a Motel bed."
John and O'Neill raised an eyebrow and Teal'c continued to look stoic and amused at the same time sitting in a semi-meditative state.
"Hey, I was only trying to keep her from the bad guys."
"Handcuffed and without pants?" John asked.
"Yeah, bad guys had scrambled her brains a bit, I tried to help her and well... she didn't trust me and handcuffed me to the bed." "Besides I was not naked."
Sam giggled when Teal'c said "You were without clothing Colonel Mitchell."
"I still had my boxers on!"
"Alright, alright. It's getting late. We should set up camp." "Sheppard, you take first watch" said O'Neill.
"Uh, sir? Why don't we just take some of the rooms the Jaffa Council offered us?" asked Sheppard.
"Well with all do respect to the Jaffa High Council, but I feel better out here under the stars and with my own people watching my back."
"Good enough for me!"
They quickly set up camp and came up with a watch schedule.
….
John patrols the area immediately around their camp. Carter and O'Neill had gone for a walk to 'asses the perimeter' nearly a half hour ago.
He saw them in the distance talking softly and sitting close. Carter seemed to sigh and O'Neill put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. John immediately froze in his tracks, quite taken aback by their forward nature with each other.
Sam rested her head on his shoulder and looked quite content and comfortable that way.
While John momentarily thought maybe Cassie had been wrong, he remembered how tortured they looked during the campfire tales.
They looked as tortured as he felt around Elizabeth.
…..
The next day they were joined by Daniel and Vala.
Daniel had joined the discussions on General O'Neill's insistence.
Vala had turned her charms onto their new addition and John spent a couple hours trying to tactfully ditch her when Sam saved him.
"Vala, I'm sorry but I am going to have to steal Colonel Sheppard from you."
"Whatever for?"
Sam just smiled and gave her a wink.
"Oh, right! Well good luck Samantha, he's a tough one to crack. I doubt you have better luck than me unless you are the on he's saving himself for." Looking at John she said, "Don't worry handsome, if Sam's not to your liking I have no doubt I can please you. Might even teach you a thing or two!" she said winking then snapping her gum.
Sam rolled her eyes and took John's pro-offered arm and led him along a stroll around the large Ancient complex now inhabited by the Free Jaffa.
...
"Thank you! I don't think I could ever repay you."
"Think nothing of it. Vala's not bad once you get to know her and if you can look past her trying to seduce you every two minutes."
"Oh? You have that problem too?" John teased, raising an eyebrow and trying not to smile.
Sam playfully slapped his arm.
"Ummm, the General's not going to kill me or anything if he happens to see you on my arm is he?
"No.. he'll probably have Teal'c do the dirty work for him." she deadpanned before adding a dazzling smile. There was something about the smile of Samantha Carter that could make any man go weak in the knees, including John Sheppard. He was momentarily distracted and stunned, then shook it off and lowered his head shaking it and sighing.
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah I do. And I could say it's none of your business, but you don't seem to me the type just fishing for gossip, so what's up?"
"I don't think there's anyone who can look at you two together and not notice that you seem very comfortable with each other. I know that you two are not a couple though so I guess I just... don't get it?"
Sam took a deep breath. "Well, it's really complicated."
"Show me a relationship that's not."
"True, true." "Well I don't really know when it started. I do know when I first realized how much he meant to me and I went crazy for a few months trying to find a way to find him."
They stopped and sat on some steps and he looked at her with genuine interest but without his usual sparkle. Sam realized it wasn't a juicy forbidden Harlequin romance story he was after, but maybe more of an affirmation or guide per se, of something in his own life. Hers was really screwed up so she didn't think she should really be a role model, but something was better than nothing and John was rapidly proving himself to be someone she would consider a friend. That in itself was mind boggling to her, as she usually didn't make friends, especially not close- confidant-esque friends very often, and never this quickly. But she felt some sort of connection with him, an understanding that she just couldn't explain. 'Must be the hair, the easy going/charming attitude and love for motorcycles.'
"Ok, I suppose there had to have been a physical attraction on some level from the start. Not long after SG1 started going on routine missions several members of SG teams came down with a plague that would turn a person into a Neanderthal. I was infected and tried to jump the then Colonel." John smiled. "Hey! I was turning into a Neanderthal and I guess the only thing on my mind was reproduction."
"Anyway, after a couple of years working together we were on a planet watching a meteor shower. What was supposed to be an annual spectacular light show, instead the meteors started striking the planet. We were trying to evacuate everyone in the village through the gate. Some decided to stay, some of which were teenagers we had grown fond of that had run of to a cave system to stay safe. Jack went after them."
The use of the General's first name without hesitation was not lost on John.
"One of the meteors hit the gate, burying it, it was covered just far enough away to allow a wormhole to form but not allow anything through, kind of like the iris." "For months I struggled to find a way to rescue him, to find out if he was even alive. We didn't have ships then" "So, I worked day and night and it drove me crazy. It was only when Janet came to me concerned over the lack of sleep that it became apparent that I cared for him more than I was supposed to."
Sam took a deep breath and fell into silence reflecting on all the missed times she had to say something about how she felt.
"Well, since he's here, I take it you found a solution."
"Yes. We were able to bore through the dirt with an energy weapon until the hole was big enough to send Teal'c to dig through to the surface." "It was rough though. He had given up hope that we were ever going to find him. The night before the rescue, he had let go and became part of their society, and part of the family he was staying with. Those teens I was telling you about?" John nodded. "One was a boy who had lost his father long ago. His mother was the one we spoke to when we were there most often. She is also the one that took Jack in. They had started something together, and for me, it was heartbreaking."
"He never went back though. Only forward. But I learned a lesson, to bury my feelings because they were not reciprocated, or so I thought."
"I know what you mean." "I was trapped in a time dilation field. On my side 6 months had passed when only a few hours had passed for everyone else. I hadn't given up... But I did give in to the comforts of the woman taking care of me, the one who healed me every time I fought their 'beast'. Literally the day after I gave in, they found a way in and all the people within the field faced their fear, which was the 'beast' and ascended."
"We've all been through so much it's a wonder any of us were sane after 6 months let alone 10 years later!" Sam said chuckling.
"Can't argue there."
"Eventually we both came to realize our feelings for one another."
"There was a mission where the Tok'Ra brought alien armbands that turned us into, well, super heroes."
"For real?"
"Yeah, it was great. We were faster than a speeding bullet, we were super strong, there was nothing we couldn't' do. Unfortunately it also impaired our judgment a bit. We decided to raid and blow up a Gould mother ship." "We went in, knocked out all resistance, stole the naquadah and planted all the C-4." On our way back out we were running through the fluctuations in the forcefeild.."
"Whoa, that was fast! I mean to even see the fluctuations.." John realized he was showing his inner geek and choked his enthusiasm and allowed the bewildered yet smiling Carter to continue.
"Yeah, it was really cool. At least, until the arm bands wore off. I hit the forcefeild and was knocked out. The Colonel came back for me but as he was trying to run through his stopped working and he slammed into the forcefeild. I was stuck on the inside, he on the outside. When we came to it, there wasn't much time left on the C-4. He tried to get me out but there wasn't anything he could do. I begged him to go, to leave me behind, but he wouldn't." "We spent the last couple of seconds before the C-4 blew listening to the clank of approaching Jaffa just looking at each other through the field. Me begging him with my eyes to leave and he with his, refusing to leave."
"We got lucky. The C-4 blew just enough to knock out the force shield and we made it home safe and sound."
"A few months later there was to be a summit meeting between the President and the Tok'Ra High Chancellor." "The Gould had formed a new way of creating assassins, by taking a Tok'ra or Earth humans and essentially brainwashing them. It was on a subconscious level. One didn't even know what their 'programming' was until the triggering event. Then they fulfilled their programming and/or took their lives."
"The Tok'ra had a devise that could tell if someone had been tampered with by having them relate missions and looking for inconsistencies in memory recall patterns." "They thought Jack and I were Za'Tark's because we omitted the reason why he wouldn't leave me. Once we confessed that we cared for each other, a lot more than we're supposed to, the machine cleared us."
"Yet you were allowed to continue working together despite military regs."
"It never left the room and we kept it under our hats for years." "We even tried moving on and dating other people. I became engaged and was going to marry, but it didn't work out, because I was still in love with Jack." "We just never acted on it, and we never will. We've talked and we're not willing to sacrifice... all this" She said making a sweeping gesture around her, "to be together. I guess you could say we are the modern day tragedy." "Now, well, it's most likely too late. Now we are more like best friends."
"Must be hard."
"Yes and no. He's in Washington now and it's always been doomsday this, fate of the galaxy that, so plenty to keep our minds off it." "People who know us though do not bat an eye at our comfort with each other. They know the truth and they know it would never interfere."
John sighed a sorrowful sigh and looked at the ground.
"So, know the question is why did you want to know?"
Looking back up and meeting her cool blue eyes he said, "Can I ask a question first?' She nodded. "If you had the chance to go back to the beginning and do it all over again. Would you take the chance? Would you break those regs for love?"
Sam sat silently for what seemed like a long time was was really only a minute or less.
"I really don't know. I wish I could say I would, but I really don't know."
"That's fair." "As to why I wanted to know. Well, I had to know. I had to know if you crossed that line, or if you would given the chance. I needed to know if it was worth it if you did, no matter the risks."
"You're in love with Elizabeth aren't you?"
John looked pained and avoided looking at her. "Is it that transparent?"
"That you care for her is no doubt, but on the whole, no, not really. Just the line of conversation lead me to the conclusion."
John now looked at her with sincerity in his eyes. "Thanks Sam. I really mean it. While my life is still as complicated as ever, you did give me some insight."
"Which ever way you choose, I wish you luck. I won't tell you you should because I should have and I'm not going to recite the UCMJ either. Your choice is up to you, but either way I do wish you satisfaction in your decision." "And if you ever need to talk..."
"Thanks Sam..."
They stood and hugged. He breathed in her hair, her scent and it stirred something in him, which was slightly disturbing since he just let his biggest secret slip and confessed his feelings for Elizabeth.
They still had their arms wrapped around each other enjoying the embrace and the promise of a friendship that flowed through them when they heard footsteps approaching.
They broke apart to see General O'Neill approaching.
Sam gave John's hands a final squeeze before straightening her BDU's and turning to the General.
"All done Sir?"
"Yes-sir-ie! So how about that cake!"
A/N: I konw I said a Sam/John pre-ship and there's a lot of ShWeir and S/J but there's a method to my madness. * Insert evil laugh here *