A/N- Here goes chapter three! So you made it this far did you? I'm so honored! For those of you going, where's the romance, this chapter is your answer. Stay with me guys, I might be slow, but the payoff will be worth it, promise. All characters belong to JKR, alas, not me.

The First Time

That evening found Hermione sitting sulkily in her bedroom. After breakfast she had spent the rest of the morning drafting letters to her family. She had written Harry a letter as well, though she wasn't sure what she should say. As she started her letter to Ron she felt her stomach give a sick sort of flip. With the events of the night before she hadn't had time to think about him properly. What had his words at the station meant? Hermione heaved a sigh and put her parchment back in the drawer. She didn't have time to think about it now, as it was five till seven. She grabbed her letters and took them to the kitchen. As she had hoped, Lupin was sitting reading the paper.

"Why hello again," he smiled warmly at her, "how are you this evening?"

Hermione shrugged, "I could be better, that's for sure."

"Yes…." Lupin had the smallest trace of a smile on his face, "I did hear something about you starting lessons with Severus tonight."

Hermione groaned loudly and sat down across from him. "I don't know why Professor McGonagall can't teach me."

"Well Hermione, firstly she is very busy, she barely has time to sleep now days. Sometimes I worry for her," Lupin's eyes were down cast for a moment, "But never mind that, the truth is Severus is the best Occlumency instructor you could ask for. He's a master in the field, and if you listen I know you will benefit from him." Lupin gave Hermione's hand a comforting pat.

"Yeah, I guess," she huffed, "Would you mind dropping these letters off to post? They're to my mom and dad, and….." Hermione stopped. She didn't know if Harry had told everyone about his plans to leave school or not.

Lupin nodded, "Yes I can, first thing in the morning."

"Professor…." She began hesitantly, "have you spoken to Harry lately?"

"Ah, well, not exactly. We've all been quite busy, and," Lupin scratched his chin self consciously, "I thought it best to give him some time."

Hermione nodded with a pained sort of smile. At that moment she caught a glimpse of Lupin's watch, which read three past seven.

"I got to go, 'Tardiness won't be tolerated,'" she droned in her best Severus impression.

Remus smiled softly, but his eyes held a stern gaze, "Give it a chance Hermione. You might be surprised."

Hermione smiled gratefully and headed towards the library. She opened the door without knocking and entered. Snape was sitting in his usual chair, and he gave her a look of pure annoyance.

"Late and unannounced, how very Gryffindor of you," he sneered as he put his book down on the table.

Hermione felt the anger rising again, but remembering Lupin's words she was able to suppress her desire to yell, "Sorry professor," she mumbled.

Snape cocked his head in slight confusion. Sorry professor? I wonder what she's playing, he wondered to himself. He motioned her to the chair and she sat dejectedly.

"Tonight we begin the study of Occlumency, or, the ability to close one's mind to invasion. There is no spell, no potion to aid in the process, only pure strength of mind and practice…"

As Snape droned on Hermione felt her attention slip. She didn't want to tell the temperamental professor that she already knew the facts on Occlumency. As she sat, her gaze drifted to the book that Snape had laid on the table. The dim firelight wasn't very conducive to reading, and Hermione had to squint to make out the title, The Complete Grimms. She could hardly believe her eyes. Snape had been reading muggle fairy tales.

"Did you hear what I said?" Snape snapped as he slammed his hand over the book.

Hermione blushed despite herself; it had been obvious that she hadn't been paying attention. Though she knew she was at fault she didn't feel like taking any more of his abuse, and against her better judgment she felt her temper rise. She glanced at Snape quickly, his face looked positively livid.

"Miss Granger despite what you might think I do have better things to do than try and educate a haughty little girl who thinks she…."

"Hang on a minute," Hermione stood hurriedly, she had taken all she was prepared to, "You know as well as I that this is not my ideal choice of arrangement, it wasn't my suggestion so don't take your anger out on me!"

"You are rather ostentatious tonight aren't you?" Snape growled at her, "I don't believe you realize I am rendering you a great service, one that many wizards would consider an honor!"

"Well, sir! Many wizards haven't had to put up with your pompous ranting for almost seven years!" Hermione felt full blown anger hit her. There was no use trying to remain calm now, she had let her temper get the better of her, and there was no turning back, not that she wished to.

"Pompous? Indeed, for I seem to recall that it is I and my little duet of dim-witted friends scuttling around the castle causing calamity!"

"Well I'm surprised you can recall anything after trying to fit it through that thick lump you call a head!"

Snape and Hermione had escaladed to a full fledged scream during the course of the argument. Outside Lupin listened closely at the door, followed quickly by Minerva.

"Remus, what is going on?" she asked in a shocked voice as the screaming from inside continued.

"Oh, it's nothing Minerva," he answered, pulling a silencing charm over the door, "I think Severus and Miss Granger are finally having a little heart to heart. What say you and I have some tea?" he pulled her towards the kitchen.

"Did I hear someone say 'greasy bat'?" Minerva questioned as Lupin guided her down the dark hallway.

"Presumptuous little…"

"Domineering, overbearing…."

Snape was beginning to feel his voice give out. Ten good minutes of screaming had done a rough turn to his rarely used vocal chords. He was determined, however, not to let her get the best of him. She had courage, he would grant her that. Never in all his years had he had a student yell back.

"Why don't your bury your nose in a book and spare the rest of us the torment of your speech?" he snarled at her mercilessly.

"Only if you go back to the dungeons so we don't have to look at you, you bloody coward!" she retorted, a flaming rage in her eyes.

As soon as she had said it Hermione knew she had gone too far. She wasn't exactly sure how she knew, it was as though a rush of icy wind had ripped between the both of them. The look in Snape's eyes had changed in a flash. It was no longer anger, it was a void. A void as deep as any hole Hermione could ever imagine. She felt her breath hitch, and Snape fell silent. He straightened stiffly over the table which he had been leaning, and Hermione fell back into her seat. Snape walked rigidly to the fire, leaning against the mantle. Hermione wasn't sure what exactly she had said that had hit him so squarely, but whatever it was she wanted to undo it. No matter how much the man infuriated her, Hermione was not the sort of person to wish such obvious pain on anyone. She wanted him to yell, to scream, anything but the dead silence that hung around the room.

In his silence Severus was mentally berating himself. He had failed; he had let the little snip get the best of him. Though he would never admit it, even to himself, he knew that she had spoken the words he feared most. The only word that made him recoil into himself like a frightened child; coward. There he stood, one of the most feared men in the country, and a simple word could bring him to mental pieces. He could never forget, fleeing Hogwarts, the only place he had ever felt complete, after murdering the only person who ever made him feel welcomed, being called a coward by a boy he had taken great pains to keep alive despite his loathing, and realizing that it was true.

Hermione watched him in awkward silence. She had never seen Snape at a loss for words, and she sincerely hoped she never would again, it was more unnerving than she cared to admit. She searched her mind for something to say, anything to provoke a response.

"Have you read "The Juniper Tree"?" She asked quietly, staring intently at his back.

Severus gave an inward start at the sound of her voice. For a moment he had been so lost in his thoughts that he had forgotten she was there, "What?" he asked coldly.

Hermione raised the Grimms book, "The Juniper Tree, have you read it? It's my favorite tale."

Snape nodded slowly, "I've read them all."

Hermione stood cautiously, as though he was a bull waiting to charge. She leafed through the book tenderly, "I used to read them late at night when I couldn't sleep. Some of them were a bit frightening I'm afraid, but, for some reason The Juniper Tree always made me feel better. I used to read it every night." She smiled at him shyly.

Snape accepted the old book from her and stared at the dusty red cover. The Juniper Tree, he wondered. It was an odd choice for a young girl's favorite tale. It contained no princess or mermaids, rather it contained murder and death.

"An odd tale to find comfort with," Snape looked at her stonily and sat the book on the mantle.

Hermione chuckled, "Not really, everything turns right in the end doesn't it? The little boy is brought back, and the wicked mother is defeated. It would be nice for life to end like that."

Snape snorted, "Fairy tales are just that girl, fairy tales."

"You read them as well," Hermione shifted her gaze upwards and met his hard stare. This time she didn't see anger or emptiness, rather she saw something she never expected from Severus Snape; remorse. For some reason Hermione felt herself captivated by his unbreakable gaze.

"I never denied it," he murmured softly.

Severus was utterly perplexed. For some reason he couldn't make himself look away from the girl. It was as if she could communicate directly without speaking a word. Though he felt no less annoyed by her presence, he couldn't deny that she seemed to possess some silent spirit that he rarely saw in people. The rational part of himself was tugging at the back of his mind, telling him that showing any sign of humanity to a student, and a Gryffindor at that, was lunacy. Still, he kept the gaze.

Suddenly, a knock on the door made them both jump, and Hermione found her lungs ached for breath. Lupin poked his head into the library.

"Everything alright now? Can I take the silencing charm off the door?" he smiled a grim sort of smirk.

Snape scoffed and Hermione rolled her eyes with a nod. Lupin winked at her demurely and exited the room.

"Well," Snape was the first to break the silence, "I think that's all for tonight. Your mental state should be rested for a lesson. Clear your mind tonight and do try to be on time tomorrow." With that he swept from the room, black robes billowing.

That night Hermione sat curled in her bed, her mind racing a mile a minute. What exactly had happened in that library? For a moment, she had thought there was a connection. Brief, but true, a moment when Snape had become more than the antagonistic potions master. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she knew that something had changed within the Severus Snape that she had known before.

Little did Hermione know that elsewhere in number twelve Grimmauld place similar thoughts were being explored, though with no small amount of reluctance.

The next day passed in a whirl. McGonagall had begun preparing Hermione for her upcoming newt examinations. While she assured Hermione that the tests would be simple for her Hermione felt her nerves flare. Taking the exams a year in advance wasn't at all what she wanted to do. There was also the matter of teacher training, and the constant bother from Lupin to prepare for her Occlumency session. In truth, Hermione was having trouble thinking about anything else.

At dinner that night Snape was no where to be found. In honor of Hermione's pending induction to the Order many of the other members had come, including Arthur and Molly Weasley.

"Hermione dear! We were so excited when we found out the wonderful news!" Mrs. Weasley gushed, "How are you getting along dear?"

All in all it was a pleasant evening. Although Mr. Weasley kept hinting that Ron had invited Hermione to the Burrow for the summer, and Hermione suddenly felt no need for food.

It was nearly seven before Hermione excused herself from the table. She walked slowly to the library, feeling her anxiety rise. She hoped tonight would be a significant improvement from the last, as she didn't know if her nerves could take another verbal duel.

Hermione reached for the knob, but at the last moment she knocked softly.

"Enter," came the gruff reply from within.

Hermione shut the door softly behind her. Snape was sitting in his usual chair, reading a thick book. Across from him there was a new heavy armchair, and Hermione was slightly surprised that he had bothered to find it at all.

Snape shut his book with a snap. He cleared his throat roughly and motioned to the chair opposite him. "Well, Miss Grander, since you already know the principals of Occlumency I suggest we step straight into the methods."

Hermione nodded vaguely. Until this moment she hadn't realized that Snape was going to be inside her head.

"All you must do is close your mind, when you feel me press, just don't allow it," he commented vaguely, rolling his cloak sleeves up to his mid forearms. Hermione nodded again, bracing her feet behind the chair legs. With a wave of his wand Snape brought Hermione's chair within a foot of himself, startled she let out a small shriek of surprise.

He smirked at her alarm, and Hermione felt a surge of annoyance. Snape saw this in her face, "None of that," he snapped, "clear your mind."

Hermione nodded and tried her best to empty her thoughts. "Are you prepared?" he asked. She nodded stiffly.

"You have to look at me girl," Snape said with a hint of irritation.

Hermione snapped her eyes up in defiance and met his cold gaze. It happened in an instance. She felt as though a heavy hand were pressing against her forehead. She felt scenes running through her mind, as though a muggle film was on fast forward and she couldn't control it. Gripping her chair Hermione tried to slow it down. It worked partially, she was able to control the speed of her memories, but she couldn't blank them out. In a flash Hermione saw scenes of the past years; her first time on an airplane, the Quiddich cup from her third year, her grandmother laying in her death bed.

"No," Hermione yelped, and shut her eyes in frustration. She slumped to the back of her chair.

"Come now girl, you're not trying, I could find your deepest secrets if I so desired. You must close your mind, not try and control what I see. Focus," he demanded, "again."

Hermione drew a deep breath and looked up. Now she felt the pressure. The scenes were back, burying her puppy when she was nine, the sight of the basilisk from her second year, the death eaters in the department of mysteries, Harry appearing, screaming, in the tri-wizard maze.

"Stop," Hermione yelped, tearing herself away from him. Snape tapped his knuckles in irritation.

"Miss Granger, we can not accomplish this task without me seeing these things," he rubbed his head wearily, "let's get it out now, whatever you're so afraid of me seeing, then perhaps you can focus."

Hermione felt a cold prickle in her head. "I think I've had enough for tonight," she murmured.

"I think not," Snape replied heatedly. In a flash he had grabbed her chin and she felt the pressure stronger than ever. Her life was flashing before her; watching her parents fight as a child, Dumbledore's funeral, walking in on Ron with Lavender Brown, Snape was searching for the deepest memory. The ones she was desperately trying to conceal. No, no! Hermione began to chant in her head, this wasn't something she wanted him to see. But the scenes continued, and then it came. The flash of her, a mere year ago, at her OWL tests, facing a boggart, watching it turn into her dead mother, her dead father, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Dumbledore, and finally Snape. Hermione's mind screamed in protest and she felt the pressure stop.

It took her a full minute to catch her breath, and when she looked up she realized she was on the floor a good five feet from her chair. Snape was still seated, watching her with great scrutiny. She swept her hair into a hasty knot, feeling hot and exhausted. Slowly Snape rose to his feet. He crossed the floor swiftly and offered his hand.

Hermione looked at him suspiciously, and she saw his eyes narrow ever so slightly. Hesitantly she took his hand. Hermione was surprised; it was cool, and utterly smooth. He must wear gloves nearly all the time he works, she thought to herself. When she was on her feet again Snape sat back in his chair.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. "I believe that is enough for one evening," Snape muttered, looking at the dancing flames. Hermione nodded, but found her knees a bit too wobbly to stand.

"Do you require assistance?" he asked her.

"No," Hermione snapped, "I just need a moment."

"Occlumency is a truly invasive practice, and one of the hardest to endure for the first time. It becomes easier," he said with a flippant tone. Hermione scoffed and rubbed her head.

Snape watched the shaking young girl. Though he was trying not to, he kept observing her physical state. She seemed quite wrecked. Perhaps he should have gone easier? No. He shook the thought from his mind; he wouldn't have treated any other student any differently. Though, his mind reminded him, she wasn't going to be a student for long, she would, in fact, be his colleague. Snape recalled her memory with startling clarity, and he was more than a bit confused at what he had seen.

"Is there no other way to become skilled with this?" she asked him between breaths.

Snape shook his head quickly, "Practice Miss Granger, that is all that can be done."

She hugged her arms to her chest and willed her body to calm down. Despite her best efforts Hermione had been unable to stop him, and she was not used to failure. Worse than that, he had seen what she didn't want him to. She could only imagine the glee he would feel telling the others that the silly Gryffindor brat had once feared for his safety.

"I'm alright now," Hermione stood, somewhat unsteadily, and Snape extended his arm to keep her upright. Somewhat surprised by the gesture he retracted his hand immediately.

He nodded to her, "Tomorrow then, the same time if it pleases you." He stood as she walked towards the door.

"A boggart was it?" he called after her quietly.

Hermione groaned inwardly. She refused to turn back to him, but nodded slightly. He scratched his chin lightly and nodded as though he understood completely. He then turned towards the fire once more, "Goodnight Hermione," he dismissed her with a wave.

"Goodnight," she replied shutting the door silently.

In the hallway she leaned against the door shakily. He had said her name, for the first time.

A/N- Okay, three is up! So it's slow going, but look at the progress! It's all going to hit in the next two chapters, so get ready for some action. Hopefully I have you biting your nails just a little bit. Also, yes there are things in this story that don't link up. What can I say? I started it when I was seventeen. Have you ever seen Red Dwarf? Roll with it or don't read. Sorry, but I'm not changing it now, it's not like I'm getting paid or anything. Review if you can, thanks for the time!