A/N: Hey, I Have An Alter Ego, I'm finished! Do I get a cookie?
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But why can't I own Sasuke? Please! I'll even trade the cookie!
2.Naruto's Fantasy From Hell
Naruto's stomach growled hungrily. He hadn't eaten in four hours now! 'Oh man! I feel so sick! Maybe I should just stay home from practice today!' And, you know this has nothing to do with the dream he had last night! (I thought you all should know, that I'm very sarcastic about many things, and, to me, writing is simply a way of talking in print. Just thought you might want to know.)
' I know! I'll just lay down for a few minutes. Then maybe I'll feel a little better.' Naruto thought animatedly and stupidly. Okay, when you have a growling stomach, you go to the store, you don't lay down on the couch (couch, NOT coach) and hope it'll go away. I'm sorry, but Naruto is such an idiot! Anyway, back to the story.
"Oh, Sasuke!" Naruto breathed lovingly. " Yah?" Sasuke answered very un-passionately. "What? You Jackass! We just kissed for the first time, and the only thing you can say, is 'Yah?'" Naruto heatedly asked. "Yup, I'd say that about covers it." Sasuke answered dryly. "Come on, you can't think of one thing passionate to say?" Naruto pleaded. "Ummm, you're, no you're really not that cute. Well, you're no you're pretty stupid too. Damn, this is really tough. Just give me a couple of hours." Sasuke answered in a thinking stance. (You know, the usual: standing straight up, while tapping your head with your forefinger meanwhile your thumb's situated right under your chin.) "Sasuke you jerk! How could you just kiss me without any reason? I have feelings too you know! God, you are such a…………mph!" Naruto would have finished his sentence, except for the fact that Sasuke had just engaged him in the most passionate kiss in his life. Naruto's eyes were exploding from shock. (Well, can you think of a better way to describe it? Huh? That's what I thought!)
An incredibly loud car jolted Naruto out of his trance. Wait, that car was taking a really long time to pass by. Or maybe it sounded like a growl. Naruto slowly turned around just in time for Sakura to slap him. Naruto hit the pavement, hard.
"Naruto you Jackass!" Sakura yelled as he blacked out.
"Naruto. Are you here? Naruto, where are you?" 'This is getting ridiculous,' Inner Sakura sighed, 'Can't we just sit down for a minute?' "Okay, fine, but only for a few seconds," Sakura answered in a whisper.
Sakura almost sat down on the couch, only to discover where Naruto was hiding. She was about to shake Naruto awake, when he started mumbling thing like "Jackassss………" and "Sasuke you jerk!" It became quite amusing for both of Sakura, until Naruto crossed the line and started moaning. Sakura desperately tried to figure out a reason for Naruto's moaning. 'Oh come on Sakura you idiot! He's obviously kissing Sasuke! He only said Sasuke a thousand times! Why? Why did I get such a stupid half like you?' Is asked as she stomped around in Sakura's mind, ranting. "Would you shut up already?" Sakura yelled at herself desperately.
'Just slap him already!' Is answered, "Will it shut you up?" Sakura asked while rubbing her temple. She was getting a horrible headache. 'Well duh!'
"Hey, Hermione! Check out the slap Sakura just gave Naruto!" Ron yelled, "Why, if that was a punch, she'd have you beat! It wouldn't even be a contest!
……………………………………………………………………………….. (Insert cheesy sound effects like, Bang! Crash! Pow! Ect, ect.)
"Hey, she does slap pretty well, I guess you were right Ron." Hermione answered. "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" was all Ron could moan from his deathbed.
Sasuke sighed. 'Will this song ever get out of my head?' is all he could ask himself. He tried multiple techniques to get the stupid song out of his head. For God's sake, he even tried to sing "Trucker Hat" to get it out of his head! (I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a great song, it's just really redundant, and possibly more annoying than this one is when it's stuck in your head! So you know he must be desperate.)
The Song:
All the girls in the bathroom talkin',
Who they're gonna take to the Sadie Hawkin's,
My ears are burning but I kept on walkin',
Smile on my face, and an air guitar rockin'!
The Sadie Hawkin's dance,
In my kaki pants,
There's nothin' better!
…Oh, oh, oh!
The girls ask the guys,
It's always a surprise,
There's nothin' better baby do you like my sweater!
Sittin' in the back of my next class nappin',
Gotta give a speech, then bow to the clapping.
Told a funny joke, got the whole class laughin',
Think I got a tan from the language arts baskin'!
The Sadie Hawkin's dance,
In my kaki pants,
There's nothin' better!
…Oh, oh, oh!
The girls ask the guys,
It's always a surprise,
There's nothin' better baby do you like my sweater
Skimmed the cafeteria for some good seating,
Found a good spot by the cheerleaders eating,
The Quarterback asked me if I'd like a beating,
I said that's one thing I won't be needing!
And since I'm rather, smart and cunning,
I took up down, the next hall running,
Only to get stopped by a girl so stunning,
Only to get stopped by a girl so stunning!
She said, "Just move,"
"Ain't good with talkin',"
"Will ya go with me,"
"To the Sadie Hawkin's!"
The Sadie Hawkin's dance,
In my kaki pants,
There's nothin' better!
…Oh, oh, oh!
The girls ask the guys,
It's always a surprise,
There's nothin' better baby do you like my sweater
Yes, you guessed it, he had "Sadie Hawkins' Dance" stuck in his head!
I know, a weird place to end it, and it doesn't make sense. But, I'm going to attempt to do some plot building with it. Plus: That song is really hard to get out of your head! (Darn you rm/bo!) Umm, so yeah, review ok. 'Cause I know my story needs work! Danka! (Thanks in German. Try it! It's fun to say!)