Yesh! Chapter two'd! Yeah. Here goes!
Chapter Two:
Fun, Fun, FUN!
"How do you eat so little?" asked Merry, staring at Kiley's plate. On it, was half a piece of salted pork, one ear of corn, an old burnt cookie, a pile of mashed potatoes, a handful of peanuts, one piece of elven bread, two apples, and an onion.
"Me? I don't eat little! KADEN eats little!" Kaden walked in, holding a very small plate. On it, was a tenth of a piece of salted pork, two kernels of corn, one spoonful of mashed potatoes, one peanut, and a pinch of elven bread. And one Skittle©. Pippin just gaped at her plate.
"Merry, is that all she has?"
"I think so, Pip." Merry and Pippin just stared. Kiley gasped.
"What, Ki?" asked Kaden.
"You're...ANOREXIC!"
"No, I'm not!"
"Yeah, you are!"
"No, look at THIS! It goes jiggle jiggle jiggle...ew, a hair..." Kaden was making her stomach wiggle around.
"I CAN COUNT YOUR RIBS!"
"Yeah? So can I! Every person has exactly seventeen and a half ribs. Were you sleeping in Science class again?" Kaden glared at Kiley suspiciously.
"You fell asleep in Math class!"
"Yes, well, it was boring. I hate math. And it's not like Mrs. Graffle is exciting, at all."
"True, but still!"
"AND YOU were the one who 'went to the bathroom', class skipper!"
"What are you talking about? That was...erm...necessary!" All four hobbits just watched, afraid to get into this odd...fight. Aragorn stepped in.
"Well, fair maidens, let us stop this quarrel and be on our way." Kiley shut up at the sound of Aragorn's voice. Kaden met eyes with Pippin, and zipped up as well. But then she put her hand to her neck.
"OH MY GOSH, KILEY! I'M DYING! THE RING IS TAKING OVER ME! I'M DYING!" Kiley rushed to her friends side.
"HELP! HELP! Aragorn, do you know the heimlick procedure? I...kinda knocked out one of my classmates when I tried to do it...BUT OF COURSE YOU KNOW! You're ARAGORN!" He just stood. Kaden grabbed Kiley's hand. They felt the Ring pulling them. They were sucked inside it.
"I'm planning on being dead that day..." mumbled Kaden.
"NOOO! Kaden! Stay with me! One, two, three, CLEAR! One, two, three, CLEAR!"
"Dead...Ki, you're choking me...WOAH!" They were surged upward, into...a tree. "Where the heck are we?"
"Um...a forest?" Kaden sighed.
"KILEY!" She nearly wrenched her friend's hand off. "IT'S LINK! FROM ZELDA, YOU KNOW?" Kaden started jumping. Kiley joined in. Jumping whilst in a tree is not the best idea. "Ouch...pain..." They were now face-down on the ground. Kiley jumped up.
"We're in Kokiri Forest! I knew that I recognized this place! And look, there's Link over there! Let's go meet him!" Kiley pulled Kaden over to where Link was resting. "LINK!" He jerked up.
"Who the heck are you?" he asked, scratching his head.
"We're helpers!" exclaimed Kiley.
"Um, okay...I'm going to Ganon's Castle...are you two brave enough?" He hoped that they were not.
"YES!" Kaden sighed again. Why did her friend talk so much? They walked, side by side, behind Link. They soon came into sight of a huge, black castle. "It's Ganon's Castle! He's not very nice..." Kiley squinted at the huge place.
"No, he isn't," Kaden said sarcastically. They got to a big moat. and not just any moat. A lava moat.
"Link, you have done well," called a voice. A man appeared out of the air. "I will use my powers to make a bridge! OAH!" he sang to the sky, and a rainbowy bridge appeared over the moat.
"Thanks, Rauru!" shouted Link. They all crossed the bridge, and into the castle.
"AHAHAHAHA! You will never defeat me!" Kiley shriveled up and whimpered. A man in black appeared. Kaden pulled her friend up.
"Ki, do you have any of your nasty cooking?" she asked. Kiley retrieved a sandwich.
"It's my Special Tuna Sandwich!" she grinned.
"Hey, stupid! Eat this!" Kaden yelled as she threw the moldy sandwich at Ganondorf. He ate it, since he hadn't eaten anything for a while.
"AHAHAHA! My strength is growing thanks to your evil sandwich!" he cackled. His cape glowed with a crimson fire. "Ouch! My arm hurts!" He grabbed his arm, and pulled the sleeve back. "NOOOO! I can't have blood poisoning!" Kaden let out a victorious roar.
"I knew it would work!" She started dancing with Kiley. "WOAH!" They were pushed upward, toward the ceiling. "I'm too young to die!" screeched Kaden. They vanished. "That was weird," Kaden commented. They were in an utter blackness. Then, like the blink of an eye, they were on a dock. They took in the new scenery.
"Kaden! Look!" Kiley pointed toward a nearby ship. "It's Jack and Aravis!" Kaden looked where Kiley pointed.
"You're right. And Crevan! She's my favorite from that story! Oh, look. There's Will," Kaden moaned. Kiley didn't hear her. She was screaming at the crew to let them on board. The Black Pearl came close to the shore, and Kaden and Kiley climbed up the side, even though they were offered ropes. "Hi!" Jack and Aravis looked at her questionably. "I wanna be a pirate!"
"We could teach you..." Aravis started.
"For money," Jack added.
"Jack!" Aravis squealed, and he brought her closer.
"Love..." She laughed. Kaden sighed. She had forgotten about that. Those two were always making out in the story. She didn't want that. Jack and Aravis got closer...
"SWORD!" Kaden screeched, and grabbed Jack's sword. He and Aravis had their hands over their ears in pain. "Teach me! I want to know!" She started making a fuss, and jumped up and down. Jack waved his hands frantically.
"My sword! Give it back!" His hands flailed for his sword, but she held it back.
"TEACH!" Jack sighed.
"Why not, Jack! It'll be fun!" Aravis coaxed. Jack rolled his eyes, but took out her sword, sliding his hand over her shoulder. "Jack!" she giggled. Kaden hunched over. But then she saw someone else that she recognized.
"Cicada? Stephie?" She looked at the two moronic teenagers who were thieving fruit from the brig. Cicada looked up.
"Kaden? Is that you? Stephie! Look! It's Kaden!" Cicada pulled on Stephie's shirt, but Stephie was intent on stuffing as much fruit as she could into her face, shirt, and hair. Kaden grinned. Stephie and Cicada were such morons...
"Lila! I told you, Jack and I aren't going out! Jack and Aravis are going out! What do I have to do to get that through?" Angela stormed above deck, Lila close behind. "Jack, are we going out?" Angela asked Jack, glaring at Lila.
"Well, love..." He made pointless motions with his hands.
"I knew it!" Lila giggled. "That's sign language for 'I love you'!" She started laughing hysterically, but Kaden, Jack, Angela, and Aravis just stared in horror. Kiley was sitting at at big deck table with Pintel, Ragetti, Gibbs, and the rest of the crew. They all were holding cards with fish on them.
"Go fish," Kiley mumbled. Lila jumped up and walked casually over to the table.
"Can I play?" she asked.
"SURE!" Kiley leaped out of her seat so fast that her chair tipped over. "Let's play Cheat!" She attempted to sit down again, but forgot that her chair was no longer standing upright. She ended up squished between the wooden pieces of a now broken chair. She laughed guiltily. Kaden sighed.
"Now, let's sword!" she screeched, and Angela raised an eyebrow.
"You mean sword practice? Sounds fun!" she nodded, and pulled out her sword. Jack held his sword in front of him.
"So, you hold your sword like this..."
About an hour later, Kaden had permanently traumatized Jack with her endless ravings, and scared the heck of out Angela and Aravis. Jack's eye was twitching, so Kaden had decided to fix it. Or, try to fix. She had him sit on the bench so that she could reach, and she was now putting an eye patch around his eye.
"You'r supposed to put on gauze first, so you don't have that leather rubbing on your skin!" ordered Aravis.
"Put the strap on like this, with a knot in the back!" instructed Angela.
"Don't use fiberglass!"
"A knot! Don't you know how to knot?"
"Put it on UNDER the leather!"
"NO! You don't need a BOW!"
"No, I don't think he wants sparkly glitter all over it!"
"Don't spit on it!" Man, they were picky! Jack now had a "perfect" eye patch. Stephie bounded up.
"It needs one final touch," she said, fumbling around in her hair.
"NOOOO!" Kaden protested, but it was too late. Stephie pulled out a very red cherry, and stuffed it behind the patch.
"AGH!" Jack put his hand to his eye.
"Dangit, Stephie!" She attempted to remove the messy blob of cherry guck. She had once read about Stephie and Cicada, and how stupid they were. She had also read about Jack, Aravis, Angela, and Crevan. Where was Crevan? She looked up to see Crevan stomp up above deck, with Boxy in hand.
"Angela!" she called, and Angela turned.
"What?"
"Can you throw Boxy over? He's too heavy for me!" Angela sighed, but took "Boxy" and was just about to throw him over. "Wait! What are you doing?" Crevan shrieked.
"I'm throwing him over, like you asked!" Angela replied.
"NOO! THEIF!" Crevan stole Boxy from Angela's clutches. She growled, and then slumped back below deck. Angela ;) sighed, and shook her head, but returned to Jack. Kaden grinned mischeviously at Jack's good eye.
"So, smexy, how's about you and me?" she grinned.
"How's about you get some brains!" Kiley shouted from her crumpled place at the table. They both laughed. The intellengent people(meaning everyone except Kaden, Kiley, Cicada, and Stephie) just wondered if their little friends were yet sane. Stephie and Cicada started laughing, too.
"Aha! Teen Girl Squad is so grood!" Cicada started, and her comrades joined in.
"You mean good!" added Kiley.
"Great and good!" finished Stephie. And they all laughed again.
"Hiya, bunkmate!" Kaden laughed.
"Do you love me?" Cicada snickered.
"Will you help give me these-" Kiley began, and Kaden joined in. "-seventeen shots before I go into a coma?" they both giggled. Jack, Angela, and Aravis just glanced at each other. This would be a long day.
;) This is my author's sign. WEIRDED OUT!
Yallo! Anyways, here's a quick note: Angela and Lila are from a story called Jack of Hearts by Rabid Rabbit's Rampage, Cicada and Stephie are from Pirates of the Caribbean:Curse of the Mary Sue by GreyWolfEyes, and Aravis and Crevan are from one of my stories called Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me. I got permission from all of the authors(well, I'm not quite sure about Aravis and Crevan, because Bitten by a cow didn't answer when I asked her) to use their characters. Thanks, you guys! I love you all! And to my reviewers, I give you my thanks!
Anamaria was not able to make it because of a tragic two-by-four accident. Keanu the camel was in the same(cough)ilar accident.