Emma woke to see Henry standing over her. Despite the heavy sedatives coursing through her body, she opened her mouth to scream.
"Don't. Please." The boy seemed nervous and desperate.
Emma went against her better judgment and kept quiet. After all, the doctors were the enemies here. Not this kid. She glanced over at the slightly cracked door, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the bright white walls of the room.
"How did you get in here? I thought you were in isolation too," Emma asked, her voice hoarse from dehydration.
"I am in isolation, technically. I just happen to be good with lock-picking." Henry held up a bent bobby pin between his fingers. "You, on the other hand, are one step further down the rabbit hole. Solitary is a lot more guarded and the drugs are heavier."
The boy motioned to her feeding tube and the straps against her arms and legs. I don't have all that. Just a good ol' sedative every night and a strait-jacket for when I get too riled up. I distracted the guard outside your door long enough for us to chat."
Emma snorted in spite of herself. "Come to give me another yogurt parfait and lorazepam?"
"Ah come on, Emma. It's a ritual for all new patients. All in good fun," Henry said cheerfully as he sat in a metal chair beside her and propped his feet up on the bed.
Silence descended upon them for a few minutes. Emma's mind was right on the precipice of sleep when the teen spoke again.
"So… how ya doin'?"
Emma slowly opened her eyes and gave the boy an annoyed stare. "I'm great. I haven't eaten solid food in what feels like forever, I have a gravy-looking concoction being pumped into my stomach, and I probably have bed sores from laying in the same position for too long. How are you?"
Henry ignored her sarcasm and flipped the bobby pin up in the air like a nickel before catching it and holding it between his lips as if it were a cigar. "I know why you're in here."
"Your point?"
"I know you went completely psycho on Dr. Mills and tried to stab yourself in the brain like some sort of zombie. Your little friend inside your head was going nuts. The curse thing is a bit far-fetched, but seeing as how I love my comics, I can see it. I'm not opposed to thinking outside the box; I'm sure there's millions of different parallel planes out there all co-existing at the same time."
"How do you know— "
"I eavesdrop on all the patient therapy sessions. It gives me something to do so I won't stab myself with a spork out of boredom since I've read all my comics a hundred times over." Henry sat up straight and winked at her.
Emma simply glowered at him. "You'd be in my position right now if Dr. Mills found out about this."
Henry simply chuckled. "Dr. Mills does go a little Dr. Jekyll when patients break the rules. I say it makes her even hotter than she is."
Both of them glanced at the hallway as a cart rolled by, its aluminum wheels screeching across the floors and alerting anyone within solitary to its presence. Emma noticed Henry hold his breath as the cart stopped right outside the room. It paused, and then moved on.
Henry exhaled and turned back to face her. "When you got brought down here, I was still near the office. Dr. Mills had some sort of mental break; she started sobbing like her dog died or something. Blue went in and made her go home. I think you had something to do with it; she mentioned marriage and being in love. My hearing isn't all that great so I didn't catch everything."
Emma sighed and shifted her head position to ease the strain on her neck. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Well, I looked into the room and I swear I saw Blue use magic. Or maybe she brainwashed her, I don't know. She waved her hand over Dr. Mills face, and instantly she calmed down and left. Well, I was curious so I followed her down here. She came to check on you. You were still pretty agitated, so she gave you a sedative. Then she said something about getting rid of those 'pesky memories'." Henry rolled his shoulders and leaned back. "So I'm thinking your curse delusion isn't so crazy after all."
Emma blinked, trying to process what Henry was telling her. "There was a possibility that the curse was real? That her son was alive? That she hadn't murdered—Emma refused to let herself dwell on the act anymore. What's done is done.
"I saw the articles. The proof was in the pages, kid. I killed an innocent little boy for no real reason at all." Emma blinked back tears and looked away from the teen.
Henry sighed and rubbed his face. He obviously didn't care that she was a stone-cold killer. In fact, he seemed rather annoyed that she was breaking down, like she was a young girl crying about her first break-up. "Look, I'm gonna do some digging around. I just wanted to let you know I'm on your side."
The boy stood to go and looked back just as he was ready to leave. "Lily, you're pretty fucking amazing. You too, Em." He slipped out the door without another word.
Blue arrived shortly after Henry left, smiling widely as she checked Emma's vitals and made sure the feeding tube was doing its job. "Hello, Emma. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Blue. How about we start our session today?"
"You're not my therapist. Regina is." Something in Henry's message burrowed itself in Emma's mind, placing a seed of doubt right into her conscience. Why would Blue be interested in anything she had to say? She helped out with some of the agitated patients, but for the most part she acted as a nurse.
"Dr. Mills has taken a leave for a few days. I'm stepping in to make her job run smoother so she doesn't have a lot to deal with when she gets back." Blue sat down in the chair Henry had occupied, only her back was rim-rod straight and her hands folded together in her lap as if she was saying a prayer. Come to think of it, she did look like a nun. Nonetheless, she made Emma nervous.
"Lily, I need you! Break through that wall like the mental bitch you are and help me out!" Emma pleaded silently. No such luck. Since she was brought here yesterday, the drugs had done a good job at keeping her and Lily apart. Emma didn't do being alone well, and that's how she felt at the moment.
Blue held up a clipboard and began to scribble in it. Emma watched, mesmerized, as the woman hardly even glanced down though her hand seemed to move at the speed of light. Another nervous pang hit Emma square in the stomach, and she quickly shut her eyes to alleviate the feeling. It had only been a day, and she missed Regina already.
"Would you say today you're feeling particularly angry, Miss Swan?" Blue's eyes bore into her skull.
"I'd say I'm fairly pissed off, seeing as how I am not allowed actual food and these medications are taking away any sense of time I thought I had. That, combined with these white walls is enough to make anyone a little irritated. Wouldn't you think?" Emma turned to face the wall, refusing to acknowledge the doctor anymore.
"Are you feeling sad?"
Emma had to think about that. She didn't feel particularly sad, it was more of an anxious feeling. Guilt that was resurfacing from her unforgivable crime. If only Lily was with her; she would tell it to her straight without any bullshit.
"If you were allowed out of your restraints and given normal meals like the rest of the patients, would you abuse your freedom by trying to hurt yourself or others?" It sounded as if Blue was reading off a checklist printed off of Web M.D.
"No."
"Why did you try to hurt yourself?"
"I don't want to talk anymore."
Blue set her pen down and looked at her pointedly. "The only way you are going to get better is by admitting your feelings and facing your fears. Releasing these delusions of a curse and a long-lost son and magic. You are only harming yourself by not letting go."
Emma did turn to look at her then. Something about this doctor was off. It would be a safe choice to wait until Regina returned to talk. Blue made her uncomfortable. If she had to play the silent game and wait in solitary for Regina's return, so be it.
"How is she, Blue?" Regina cradled the phone up to one ear while mixing her ingredients. She may be allergic to apples, but her strawberry shortcake was to die for. Baking always helped her calm down, and it gave her something to focus on that didn't involve work.
"You know I can't relay patient information over the phone, Regina." Blue sounded irritated, though Regina didn't know why. Perhaps work had been stressful the first day she had been out. She hadn't taken time off since before the incident with Emma.
"Need I remind you Blue, who coordinates and runs Mills facility?" Regina mixed her ingredients a little more aggressively, coating the table and the front of her shirt in flour.
"Rules are rules, my dear." Blue sounded smug now. Regina gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes, thankful she was not speaking to her in person. Blue could be so stubborn sometimes. And that was saying a lot, especially since she herself was bull-headed.
"I'm coming back to work tomorrow."
"No, you are not. I said take a leave of absence, meaning 3 days at the very least," Blue reprimanded her.
Regina stopped mixing to blow her bangs away from her eyes, feeling overheated in her cramped kitchen. "Maybe I'll just come in anyway."
"Maybe I will tell the orderlies to guard every exit and not let you through," Blue retaliated. After a moment of tense silence, she spoke again. "Regina, I only want what is best for you. And right now, Emma is not the best person to be around. You had to have been expecting her to break down sooner or later; a professional would have handled it properly instead of allowing her emotions to get the better of her."
Regina's shoulders relaxed, and she hung her head. "I know. I acted like a child; but seeing Emma fall into that dark place again hurt me deeply. I thought she was doing better…"
"Emma is fine, Regina," Blue caved. "She won't talk to me or anyone else, but as far as I can observe, the medication is doing its job of keeping the voice in her head locked away in a place she can't reach it. Although she is refusing therapy, she is healing herself by processing her own thoughts. I'm sure she will be happy to see you when you've returned; she's been asking about you."
Regina exhaled in relief. "Thank you, Blue."
"You're welcome, dear. Now, relax and get some rest. I left you a few pills to help you sleep for a few days to get your body back on a regular schedule." Regina could tell Blue was smiling on the other end now.
"I'll pay you back when I can. Maybe you can be the one to take a vacation," Regina teased.
"Bake me one of your delicious strawberry shortcakes and we'll be even."
"Deal."
That night, Regina took the pills given to her without a second thought. She soon drifted off to sleep, but it wasn't a restful slumber. Although the pills were doing their job of keeping her asleep, Regina kept having dreams of the incident over and over again that made her want to claw her way into consciousness.
"Emma, what have you done?" Regina asked, pushing her way into their bedroom to find her wife covered in blood and an unconscious little boy laying on the ground next to her.
Emma looked up at her and smiled. "I saved him, Regina. I saved our son. The Evil Queen poisoned him, turned him against me."
Regina looked at the boy in quiet horror. His chest failed to rise and fall, and he was deathly white, almost yellow. It was apparent he had been dead for a while, a few days at the most. Regina had been on an emergency leave for a patient the last 6 months, so she had trusted Emma to stay alone despite the worry that Lily might appear. It was a horrible mistake, leaving. A fatal one.
Emma never quite got over giving up her son for adoption. Both girls were 18 when they met, and Regina had encouraged her to give him his best chance so they could be together without anything tying them down. That guilt never went away, and now she had finally snapped.
Regina slowly knelt down to her wife's level, careful not to touch the little boy. "Emma, I need to call some people. How about we go downstairs and wait? I'll make you some hot cocoa."
A ragged sob escaped Emma's throat. "I had to take away his pain, Regina. He kept trying to get away, to go back to her."
"Who?"
"The Evil Queen." Emma bent her knees up to her chest and began rocking back and forth. "Lily said this was the right thing to do. She said you would be proud of me."
Regina took Emma's face into her hands. "No matter what happens, I love you."
Emma fought as they took her away; of course she did. She had no idea what she had done to be sent away to a hospital. In her eyes, she hadn't done anything wrong. Regina ignored Emma's screams for her as best she could and tried to contain the tears spilling down her face. Blue was there to comfort her once the police and paramedics had gone.
"It's for the best, Regina. She can't live a normal life with her mental state as unstable as it is. We can't have her hurting anyone else."
However, another dream floated in, giving Regina a strange sense of déjà vu as if she had dreamt it before.
Regina was sitting in her office, knees curled up to her chest and silent tears streaming down her face as she felt her heart slowly break into a million pieces. She had lost the love of her life, this time, by choice. She was second-best, but she didn't have the heart to blame him. So she aimed her anger for the next best person: Emma Swan.
Emma was the reason Marian was alive again. She was the reason Robin had to make a choice. She was just like Snow White; thinking of the greater good and her own desires rather than the feelings of others.
Regina knew that she was only so angry at Emma because Robin wasn't her first choice either. Emma was. She had silently pined for the woman ever since she had seen her son accept her with open arms and she got to experience first-hand, a mother that was willing to face her mistakes and begin anew to bring happiness to someone else. To Henry.
If Emma hadn't been so blind and doey-eyed for all the wrong people, Regina might not be feeling this way right now.
A loud knock broke the silence surrounding her. "Regina? Regina, I know you're in there. The lights are on." Emma's voice drifted through the paned glass.
Regina didn't answer. She didn't know how to react. One part of her wanted to rip the Savior's heart out and crush it to dust, while the other wanted to scream and cry until she no longer felt anything. But she didn't do either of those things. She simply sat in silence, wallowing in self-pity and emotional distraught, and listened to the woman on the other side of the door.
"The thing about Marian—when I came back from the Enchanted Forest—I never meant—" An exhaled sigh followed by a quiet curse.
"When Henry brought me to Storybrooke, he said I was the Savior, that I was going to bring back the happy endings. My job isn't done until I've done that for everyone. Including you."
Regina's eyes slid shut and she rested her head against the cool wood of the door. She had to mention Henry, knowing Regina wouldn't be able to ignore him. Even if she refused to speak, Emma will rest assured that she had listened. Clever.
As Emma's footsteps receded down the hall, Regina felt her heart lighten just a little. For she was sure she had heard a certain sentence leave the blonde's mouth that proved Regina wasn't the only one with hidden feelings.
Regina woke in a cold sweat, tears running down her face and her heart beating fast. She needed to see Emma. Now.
Blue was rather surprised (more so irritated) to see Regina in the middle of the night. To be fair, Regina was surprised to see her too. Blue usually left in the early evenings once everyone had taken their last dose of medicine for the day. But now it seems she had appointed herself Emma's personal nurse/guard.
"Regina, I thought I made it clear when I said to take a vacation." Blue set down her book and gave her a pointed stare.
"I did. I was gone for 2 days." Regina stood up straight and fixed her friend with a cold stare of her own. "I want to see my wife."
Blue's eyes widened and she quickly grabbed hold of Regina's hand and led her away from Emma's room. "Regina, you must be more careful when you speak! If Emma had heard you- "
"Why is she still in solitary, by the way?" Regina crossed her arms and glanced over Blue's shoulder at Emma's room. "Is she still trying to harm herself?"
"You know the protocol, Regina. 4 days is the least amount of time she needs to stay before she can be released. Why are you arguing so?" Blue gently touched her arm, brow furrowed in concern. "Are you getting enough sleep, dear? Would you like something to help you rest?"
Regina wrenched herself away from the woman's grasp. "What I would like is to see Emma."
"It is well past midnight. You are welcome to stay in the open rooms, but you may not see Miss Swan until morning."
Regina opened her mouth to retort, but Blue cut her off.
"I know you are the administrator here, but while you are out on leave, I am in charge. I helped create this facility, did I not?"
Regina nodded, frowning like a stubborn child as she realized Blue had her pinned. Technically, she and Blue were equals in all this. And some silly dream wouldn't change that. It had felt real, yes, but Emma believed that Lily was too. That didn't make it so. So she obeyed Blue's rules and trudged off to find an empty bed to crash in, allowing herself one good night of rest before seeing Emma tomorrow.
Emma woke to find the feeding tube had been removed and the IV's that were in both arms were gone as well as the restraints. She was back in her normal room, and Regina was beside her. Though Emma was upset, she couldn't hide her excitement at Regina coming back to work. Lily had not spoken to her for days and Emma was finding she liked the change.
"Emma." Regina's eyes shined with excitement, so unlike her professional self that it sparked a feeling of déjà vu within Emma. It was as if she knew this side of Regina.
Regina scooted closer to Emma. "I want you to tell me more about Storybrooke. About me."
Emma watched her warily. Regina looked like a child in a toy shop, yet that could just be a ploy to bait the trap and deem her even crazier.
"You're the mayor of Storybrooke."
Regina nodded and urged her to continue. Emma tried to think of what to tell her. It was hard to remember, but the more Regina was near, the more her memories—or delusions—would return. But it was so personal, like her own little world that only she believed in. The idea of sharing it almost made her protective, like it was hers and only hers and Regina wanted to take it away.
"We share a son. His name is Henry. I gave him up for adoption when I was young and somehow, he ended up in your care. You said it wasn't a coincidence, that fate brought you two together like fate brought me to Storybrooke." Emma blinked as images of the memory flashed through her mind.
"Henry like the teen in our facility?" Regina asked slowly, a memory beginning to take form in her own mind.
Emma shook her head. "I don't think so. I- I don't know." She became increasingly frustrated as the memories jumbled together in her mind. She tried to put two and two together and imagine the angry teen as her son, but her exhausted mind wouldn't allow her.
Just as the pieces clicked for them both, the memories flew apart. Both women sat in puzzled silence as Blue entered the room. "How is the session going, Regina?" Blue stepped forward and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"Um, good. I- I think so." Regina fumbled for words while her thoughts seemed to tumble around.
"Then how about we end this session and have one of our own?" Blue smiled at her and then Emma before leading Regina out of the room.
Emma stared after them, alarm bells ringing in her mind. Something was off here. It felt like this whole hospital was a filter to the real world. Like maybe she wasn't the crazy one after all. The only way she would find out is to take matters into her own hands. To do that, she would need help. And she knew exactly who to ask.