Chapter Tree:

Italics=flashback

Remus blinked owlishly at his lover.

"Well if you don't remember how it's done Paddy I'm not sure there's any hope for any of us."

The effect was instantaneous, Sirius face darkened with something that scared Remus, his eyes became unfocused, lost in painful memory. When he finally spoke it was quiet and choked.

"You wouldn't believe how much I've forgot Moony, or how much I wish I could."

Any teasing dropped from Remus' face as he hugged Sirius to his chest, murmuring words of apology in his tangled, sweaty hair. Sirius' wiry arms tightened about his waist and Remus reciprocated, still whispering reassurances in his ear. They lay awkwardly twined together for several long moments before Remus attempted an explanation.

"It was after an Order meeting; Frank Longbottom had spilled pumpkin juice all over your favorite jeans and we left as soon as it was over. Lily was so annoyed that I didn't stay and talk with her, but all I'd wanted was to get you home and peel you out of your clothes…"

Sirius closed his eyes as he pictured the scene. James was going through his flannel stage, every day was a barrage of new garishly colored plaid shirts. Remus would have been wearing his favorite jumper, which coincidentally was Sirius' favorite at well.

It was older and well worn, with frayed cuffs and small holes along the waist where Padfoot had grabbed hold him- for Merlin's sake, it's not as if he'd done it on purpose, Remus was about to fall off the Quidditch bleachers after tripping over bloody James's books- and was visibly faded. But it fit him to a tee, snug in all the right places, accentuating his slim hips and round arse.

"… When we apparated home I got there before you and I was waiting in the bedroom…

Sirius appeared in his quiet flat with a resounding crack and peered around in the dim light cast by the streetlamps through the dirt streaked window-really should talk to that maintenance man about his cleaning crew-took two steps into the dimly illuminated bedroom and stopped dead in his tracks.

There, spread out on their bed like a gift from heaven, illuminated by the soft florescence of the bathroom light, working two slicked fingers in and out of himself with obscene slowness, was Remus Lupin.

Immediately his hands fumbled with his flies and Sirius tripped over his half removed pant legs in his eagerness to reach Moony on the bed, cursing aloud.

'Bloody fucking gravity! I swear it's been out for me all day Moons!'

Remus smirked and raised an incredulous eyebrow, beckoning his lover closer with a single long digit. A single, long, lubed digit; which he promptly sucked into his mouth, prompting a pained groan from Sirius.

'Fuck Moony…'

'That was the general idea love'.

Sirius growled low in his throat and climbed onto the bed to settle above the teasing werewolf, a predatory gleam in his silver eyes.

'Whatever you say Moons, whatever you say…'

"I hadn't been taking any contraceptive potions since we talked about trying, after Harry you were keen on the idea of being a dad yourself, so it had been a couple of months… anyway 8 ½ months later Danika made her grand entrance on the night of the full.

"She was this amazingly tiny thing, face all scrunched up and pink, with untidy of tufts of fuzzy black hair. The healer handed her to me, and from the moment she grabbed my finger in her clammy fist, I knew it would be ok, as long as I had this one little piece of you to hold onto."

Sirius had tears in his eyes when Remus finished speaking. Trying in vain to find his voice, Sirius held tight to his lover, silently pleading with him to understand the unspoken message. 'I'm here love, I'm sorry, I'm here now.'

It was a while before Remus dragged them both out of bed and into the shower. Once there, they washed each other slowly, relearning the others bodies trying vainly to heal 4 years worth of hurts in the space of half an hour. Finally they dried off and redressed, knowing they couldn't ignore reality for much longer.

With a tired sigh Remus resigned himself to the talk of asking the difficult questions.

"Sirius, how are you even here? I don't understand how…"

Remus watched with trepidation as his lovers face darkened once more and realized with a start Sirius had misunderstood his question.

"Moony I realize- I realize things weren't the best between us at the end, but bloody hell, I was sure you'd know I didn't- I could never- James was my brother Moony!"

Remus held up a hand in silent defense.

"Don't go jumping to conclusions Sirius! Merlin, you never listened to me then, I don't know why I expected you'd suddenly start after four years!"

"Damnit Remus! We can't do this! Please, not this time."

Taking another deep breath the werewolf nodded slowly and began to speak softly.

"I always hoped you were innocent in the beginning, for Dani and Harry and for me, but it was just hope."

Sirius made to interrupt but Remus stopped with a raised hand.

"It wasn't- it wasn't until I was at dinner with the Weasely's, Molly was expecting a little girl the same as me, that I noticed something odd about Percys pet rat Scabbers. It was near full moon and for weeks I had been thinking he smelled familiar when I noticed Scabbers was missing a toe and it hit me. It was Wormtail. Living right under my nose that whole time!

"He must have been hiding in the room and overheard when I spoke to Arthur about it later because he disappeared that night we couldn't find him. I brought the new information to Dumbledor but he said without Pettigrew as proof no one would believe the ex lover of a murderer. I spent weeks chasing every lead I could find, I almost lost Dani and went into premature labor, after that I had her to care for. But I never gave up in my heart."

"I'm sorry Moony I shouldn't have assumed… it was thanks to you after all that Wormtail was finally caught then"

Sirius said, collapsing in a heap on the rumpled bed.

Remus gasped loudly,

"They caught Peter? When? Who? Sirius, what happened? Has the Ministry dropped the charges against you?"

"There planning a very public trial soon but yeah, I'm a free man, they brought Peter in three nights ago, that's when Dumbledor rescued me. I would have come sooner lover, but I was laid up in hospital. Someone bloody could have mentioned the fact that I'm a father!"

Remus lunged forward and caught him in a powerful hug, knocking back against the mattress.

"Oh Sirius, this is amazing news! But how? I mean who- I don't understand, I didn't know Dumbledor had sent another team after Peter, he said he'd tell me before the next one so I could go along, Dani's old enough she can stay with Andromeda and Ted now..."

"He didn't. I mean it wasn't an official order mission. Sssshhp fnnndmm."

The last sentence was so mumbled Remus couldn't be sure what Sirius said.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that in English?"

Sirius heaved a dramatic sigh before he replied more clearly;

"I said, 'Snape found him'."

r&r =)