It seemed quite appropriate to Liara that she should reside in the clinic, in the spare space that Dr Chakwas had been asked to make available. It was as if Shepard was grouping her doctors together. It was, perhaps, a very human way to think. If not, then the logic was simply typical of Shepard herself. Either way, Liara found it quaint and rather appealing.
The room she had been given was luxurious, considering the limitations of the vessel. She was aware that she, an unregistered, non-human visitor, had been given more personal space than anyone on board save the Commander herself. Liara was grateful and humbled by the sensitivity this suggested in Shepard. The crew of the Normandy constituted many more people than she was used to sharing a home with. When she had at first been accepted on board she had felt terribly nervous about it, and she imagined it showed. Perhaps Shepard and the good doctor were trying to relax her; to let her know she was welcome. It was very kind.
Usually she was left undisturbed and free to pore over old research and texts, to consider the vast implications upon them now that she had learned the Protheans' true fate. All of the old books held new insight, as if she were reading them for the first time. All of her findings from decades past yielded fresh insights.
Now she could not concentrate, because she could hear Chakwas' voice, faintly and muffled by the steel door a few feet behind her back. She stood, unable to relax when seated. The other voice in the room was female, which narrowed it down, and flatter than those of the few other women on board. It was Shepard. Liara could not sit down knowing she was outside.
The last time they had spoken, things had gone very badly indeed. Her enthusiasm about the 'Reapers' had combined with the excitement of the change of pace and the strong respect and admiration she was developing for the Commander, and she had made a fool of herself. A simple discussion about the Protheans, no doubt meant to put Liara at ease, had devolved into her accidentally revealing her strong interest in the Commander and perhaps insulting her by expressing her wish to learn more.
The whole business had been embarrassing to say the least. Perhaps Shepard had come to discuss it more. If so, Liara would have difficulty explaining herself. It had been a while, perhaps too long, since she had experienced any real contact with other people, and she had become clumsy.
Sometimes she wished she could always write her feelings. Communicating her research, proposals and motivations seemed to come to her very easily when she was on site or in a safe place afterwards. When she was safe and alone. It was little wonder she was having trouble; all of a sudden she found herself surrounded by military personnel, humans no less, on a mission of grave importance to all of Citadel Space. The notion terrified her, so she tried not to think about it and instead let herself get swept up in her thoughts of the Protheans' end.
Luckily, the Commander had been very considerate. Liara thought herself lucky to have this particular human as her saviour. The galaxy, she mused, should share her assessment. Shepard was unlike most of her race, or at least as far as Liara could tell. She was less headstrong, less threatening than her crew, and yet more strong-willed and efficient than the greatest turian generals.
With a little laugh, she composed herself and sat down again, placing her hands silently and slowly onto her desk. Whenever the Commander was around, Liara's interest seemed to wander away from her papers and find focus on memories and images of her. Liara's natural, immediate dismissal of the attraction she felt had been short-lived. There was little reason to deny her feelings, so she embraced them. The opportunity to live with and learn about this Spectre was exciting, and that was simply that. Her Prothean-given visions aside, the Lieutenant Commander possessed strength and wit, charm and resolution, and remarkable empathy for those around her. Liara was discovering humanity, a Council special agent and a truly beautiful individual all at the same time.
Liara had read Shepard's files since their last conversation, and when she had turned away from the screen she immediately knew that her attraction went beyond the lure of the data imprinted onto her mind, beyond the immature thrill of meeting a Spectre. The incomprehensible conversation behind her door continued, and she wondered about it with a sense of calm.
Listening intently now, Liara managed to make out two words in the doctor's louder voice.
"Kaidan's lucky."
Yes, Liara thought with her lips locked together. He is.
Even with her minimal interaction with the crew, she had heard the rumour and suspected from her own conversations with the pair that it was true. The details were very hard to establish, but certainly there was some sort of an intimate relationship between Shepard and Lieutenant Alenko. They had an easy rapport, and Shepard's mood distinctly changed around him. Liara had even seen the Commander reward him with a smile, which was rare. Even at the time she had noticed a slight jealousy.
If Shepard had indeed pursued an emotional connection with Alenko, then Liara had no doubt that it would make her happy. The Commander did not seem to be in the business of making bad decisions. The Lieutenant, too, seemed a fine man. When she took the time to remember this, Liara found a measure of joy in the supposed union.
The sound of a door leaping open surprised her, widening her eyes as she stopped her guilty indulgence, but she quickly realised that she was still alone. The sound was as muffled as the voices had been. Shepard had finished speaking with doctor Chakwas, and had left.
With the silence returned a sense of unease. Usually when Shepard visited the meical room, she would speak with both doctors. Perhaps she had not spoken with Liara because of their last meeting. That awkward moment. With a sway of her head, she wished to the Goddess that she had more in the way of social skills.
With a quiet breath, Liara shuffled in her seat, adjusting her position and scratching an imaginary itch. It was a nervous habit she had picked up when she was brought on board. She would have to cure herself of this.
She would seek out Shepard later, she decided, and resolve the issue then. Perhaps in the morning. After the ground mission, she and her team would need time to recover, without being bothered by Liara's fumbling. She hated to distract Shepard when so much responsibility was placed on her young, yet capable shoulders, but something had to be said. She just hated to think of the Commander disliking her.
Humans were odd creatures. Common thinking labelled them hot-headed and dangerous. While their rapid progression in galactic society supported this theory, Liara had not seen evidence of these characteristics in Shepard, or in Lieutenant Alenko for that matter. Those two shared a certain self-assurance which granted them an inner calm and an ability to lead. It made them excellent soldiers and good people. Really, they had far more in common than Shepard had with Liara.
Some of the humans, the females, looked just like asari, only with that hair growing oddly on the tops of their heads. The species seemed rather like batarians in that respect. The male humans were like some fascinating mix of asari and batarian characteristics, and this made them fascinating. The humans held a muted, unspecific appearance, which belied their ambition and tenacity. Their skins were coloured along a subtle scale of brown, tan and pale peach. The colours of the soil, to complement the asari sky blue. It made them seem warm and perhaps rustic. True and yielding.
Liara found herself picturing Shepard's face and noting the pleasant blend of her skin, eye and hair colours. It was hard to say what features were considered attractive by human standards, and she wondered about her own face. She knew that human women without hair were an oddity, and for a moment she worried that this may make her unattractive to the Commander.
When the descent into girlish vanity finally became too much, Liara shook her head in disbelief at her thoughts. Her romantic interest in Shepard was strange, new and exciting to her, but it was unimportant. She would simply ignore it, until the time was right. In the unlikely circumstance that the Commander returned the affection, perhaps some form of friendship could be maintained, but only after Saren and his geth had been defeated.
And of course, there was the obvious bond shared between her and the Lieutenant.
Her head clear, she returned to her myriad research papers and once again thoughts of the Reapers began to flood her mind. As they did, the memories of her interactions with Shepard faded away, replaced by glimpses of the vision she had witnessed vicariously when their minds had been one.
For just a second, she thought about that moment in the debriefing, when Liara had joined their thoughts. At the time she could think of nothing but the vision itself. All that suffering, those faceless killers. She had failed to notice the pleasant sensation of merging with that extraordinary mind.
In fact, Lieutenant Alenko had seemed a little angry when they parted.
Kaidan was lucky.