Chapter 3: Originally Chapters 11 - 15

November turned out to be a nightmare at Dartmouth. The weather was so brisk that I found myself with the flu. Unlike grade school where the flu meant sleeping in, watching movies, and being cozy until you made a full recovery. The flu in law school meant that I was dying slowly inside, sitting in a far corner with Purell so that I wouldn't infect other students and feeling woozy from the sheer amount of meds I was pumping though my body that mixed strangely with caffeine and not a lot of food.

On top of being sick, November was the month where we had to buckle down and start preparing for final exams for our first semester classes. Everyone was stressed out.

I also have not been able to avoid Edward's stares as much as I hoped. Ever since that day in the library near the end of September, Edward hasn't said a word to me directly. Jasper actually yelled at him once at the bar, I am not sure exactly what transpired but Alice told me that Jasper and Edward had words and Alice was about to kick Edward out of the place but Edward stood up, apologized to Jasper and walked right out. She has not seen him there since.

But every time Edward looked at me my body would heat up as if it was channeled to detect him. I had learned to ignore it but today I was loopy on these flu meds and couldn't get myself to care if I was caught starring at him. My face was resting on my hand and I angled my whole body to him tiredly. I looked right back at him and his eyes widened. I smiled a little at that before my eyes got heavy and I fell asleep.

I was having a pretty active dream where I imagined Edward's hands all over me. I dreamt that he ran all of his fingers through my hair and kissed me passionately then laid me down, removed the dress I was apparently wearing and went to town on my girly parts.

I woke up, stunned that I would dream of something like that during class. Fuck this flu. The guy closest to me, Mike, was glancing in my direction and thew a wink my way before scribbling down his number and pushing me a small note.

I was shocked. What had I done in my sleep to get that reaction? I glanced at my watch and saw that 10 whole minutes had gone by. I peeked up to look at Edward and he had a faint blush on his face and his eyes were full of curiosity.

Dear lord.

This cannot be good.

Another thirty minutes passed and class ended. I put my head down on the table in defeat. I was about to pull myself out of the chair when I felt someone tapping on my shoulder.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"So I know you have something going on with Jasper but I was wondering if you would be interested in going out to dinner Friday? Or maybe we could just hang out at my place?"

I looked up to see Mike, a cute blonde kid who seemed a little stupid at times but good natured, looking down at me hopefully.

"Sorry Mike but I am not really looking for anything." He looked so disappointed that I felt bad. "Maybe you and I could grab a coffee once I get over this forsaken flu and hang out as friends." He just looked at me strangely and nodded.

"That would be fine, let me know once you feel better. But are you sure you don't want something else for us? You were basically whispering to me during class, moaning that you wanted something more, begging me to flatten my tongue on you." Mike had a bold look on his face and was looking really turned on, he rubbed my shoulder and whispered in my ear " I almost obliged you in class if Cullen hadn't stared me down. But I am more than willing to help you with your problem Bella, call me if you change your mind."

I sighed and dropped my head back down onto the desk. The last think I wanted was for Mike to be interested in me. First of all he is cute but no. Mentally, he didn't do anything for my girly parts. Second, he is in a pretty serious relationship with this girl Jessica Stanley, who is one of the idiots who follows Tanya around and I don't care to get intertwined into that group of people.

Apparently being doped up on meds and resting my head on the desk was a bad idea because I was startled awake when a huge guy sat next to me and dropped his case book onto the table.

"Eeeeek!" I looked around frantically for the source and saw a handsome guy smiling at me, dimples showing proudly in all their glory.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were asleep and didn't mean to scare you! You're not in this class usually. How long have you been in this room?" The man started laughing a little. I just looked at him confused.

"I was here for con law and I must have fallen asleep." I glanced down at my watch, about three hours had gone by. I looked around in dread. "My name is Bella by the way, what is yours?"

"I'm Emmett, nice to meet you Bella." He held his hand out to shake, I have it a weak squeeze.

"Can I ask you a question, do you happened to know if there are any classes between the 11 AM Con Law class and this class?"

Emmett let out a bellowing laugh. "Oh Sleeping Bella, there were two classes in here. 2L Trusts and Estates and 3L Professional Responsibility. You are welcome to stay here with me for Commercial Transactions but might I suggest you head back to your place and get some sleep, you look like you don't feel well. And if I didn't have my Rosie I would ask for your address to make sure you woke up from that sleep eventually, but alas, I can't be your prince charming to kiss you awake in a few days. Maybe you should text your boyfriend and have him come check on you tomorrow."

"Good advice, Prince Charming. I will be leaving now. And Emmett I don't have a boyfriend so I will need to settle with texting my best friends. I am glad to have met you though!" I started laughing " You and your Rosie should come to my friend Alice's bar sometime and we should all hang out."

He agreed and bid me farewell. Told me to watch out for rogue sewing machines on my walk home. I just laughed and smiled. He seemed awesome.

I stumbled my way out into the cold streets and saw Edward getting into terrible Tanya's car. I am sure I was all bleary eyed and crazy looking. I probably had a hand print on my face from falling asleep on my arm. Edward looked at me sadly and I pulled my coat tightly to my body and started to walk past him.

"Hey Bella, are you feeling okay?" Edward angled himself toward me, his back to the entrance of the car.

"Eddie.. why are you talking to her? She's a bitch, get into the car and shut the door so it can stay warm in here!"

I looked at him again and shook my head no. Because I was not feeling okay. Then gave a slight wave goodbye and continued to walk toward my apartment.

The car door slammed shut and I heard foot steps coming up behind me.

"Bella?"

I stopped walking and he basically plowed into me, I just about collapsed due to the meds and my lethargy and he threw his arms around my waist to keep me up. We were in an awkward position now. My ass was pulled flush against his crotch and I was bent forward and he started to pull my body back so I would be upright. By the time he was done my back was leaning against his chest and my head was tempted the lay back on his strong shoulder.

"Damn these meds." I grumbled " Do they make something more appropriate for underfed, over caffeinated and stressed law students?"

Edward chucked quietly and seemed to snap out of some daze and released my body but not totally, he kept a hand in the middle of my back to make sure I could walk straight. "Bella, sorry for running into you, what medications are you on?"

"Eh like four different ones, cough syrup, a day time flu, a night time flu and excedrin for day long headaches"

"Maybe you should take it easy for the next few days and focus on getting healthy."

"Why Edward, so that you and all the other gunners in the class will get a chance to take my A from me. You would love that wouldn't you?"

Edward chuckled and shook his head in disbelief.

"Bella, you know we all think you are the gunner right?"

I humphed. No way.

"Seriously Bella, with your spread sheet, doing practice tests before school started, always having the right answers even if you aren't volunteering, being a 1L doing research, that is what the class thinks."

Weird. I guess that makes sense, but half of my study habits were due to the other students making my life more difficult- forcing me to come up with the excel sheet.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't want to insult you again. I was concerned about you is all. You really look like your dead on your feet. Can I walk you home? It would ease my mind some."

"It's okay. Sure you can walk me home. We are about half way there now."

Edward basically steered me home, I rode the elevator again up to the second floor and his eyes shown in amusement.

"Don't judge me, I'm ill."

"It's okay Bella, I just didn't take you as a person who used shortcuts. But when you're sick anything goes really." He smiled down at me and helped me out of the elevator.

Wait. He smiled! It was beautiful. His eyes were carefree. His teeth were sparkly white, one corner of his mouth lifted a little higher than the next and he made me remember exactly how hot Edward was. I felt my whole body flush and I smiled back.

"What is going on exactly in that head of yours?"

I giggled a little. "Edward you don't know how much I have wanted to see you smile. If I knew catching the flu would have brought this on it would have saved me a lot of grief in class."

Oh shit, I was rambling with Edward. I wonder if I was reading the instructions right on my flu medicine. It said four pills every two hours right? My head was heavy with sleepiness and I was starting to feel woozier.

"Here Bella, show me your room, why don't you lay down. And if you don't mind me asking, why did you say that my smiling would save you some grief in class?" His eyes danced in humor but he looked concerned again about how I was feeling.

I squeezed his hand and had him follow me to my room where I plopped down on the squeaky bed springs. "I would tell you Edward but I don't want to jeopardized what ever is going on between you and Tanya, I see enough of her as is. Thank you for walking me home.' My legs still dangled off the side of the bed but my body fell back and my eyes were heavy again.

"Bella what does that have to do with Tanya?"

I whispered dreamily. "If Tanya knew how much I have wanted to give you head just to see you relax and smile, she would probably feel really threatened by me. I don't want her to have any feelings toward me at all. And as much as I don't like her I don't want to be a home wrecker." I squeezed his hand again and released it.

Edward was totally silent. My eyes were closed now but I felt the heat of his stare on me and I moaned. I felt his cool hand run over my forehead and heard him gasp in surprise. He shook my shoulder a little.

"Bella wake up, I think you may have a high fever. Do you have a doctor around here yet?"

I moaned and turned my head to one side to signal no. That was clear right? I fell asleep again.

"Bella, beautiful, wake up. I am going to call my dad and see if he will come over to check on you. Maybe you should sit up?"

I felt my body being pulled back onto the bed more. I rose up my arms and started to pull off my shirt. I was hot I guess but I was also in some sort of delusional state where I thought a man placing me on a bed meant we were heading in a sexy direction.

Cool hands held both of my wrists down and I believe I heard Edward grumble " As much as I would enjoy seeing you shirtless, I would rather my dad not see you like that. I am not going to take advantage of you and I don't want him to think that I did. So leave your clothes on Bella."

He continued to pull my body onto the bed until I was propped up against the back board. I opened my eyes and looked around.

"Edward, why are you keeping me awake, what are you still doing here?"

He signed and ran his hands through his hair.

"Bella you seem a lot more sick that I thought you were. I am staying here until my dad gets here to check you out."

I moaned and looked up at Edward who was absolutely glorious, standing beside my bed. He looked a little incredulous at me and mumbled, "What I wouldn't give to know what is going on inside your head".

I giggled and he tried to smile at me. "Edward is your dad as sexy as you are? What are your true intentions with me?" I giggled and closed my heavy eyes again.

I woke up when I felt something sticking into my ear. I started laughing a little " You missed!" I reached my hand over, grabbed the long cold object and kissed the tip of it before trying to put it in my mouth. "This is where you should be Edward, right where I have wanted you all year"

A gentle voice called out to me " Bella my name is Carlisle Cullen, I am a medical doctor at a local urgent care clinic and Edward's father. I am trying to take your temperature so you need to take that out of your mouth. Will you let me check the temperature in your ear so we can see if you have a high fever as Edward suspects?"

I froze. Huh?

"Edward why don't you go get her some water and help her to hold the cup and take some sips."

"Sure Dad" Edward sounded embarrassed and conflicted and I could hear him shuffle out of the room.

"That boy seems pretty crazy about you miss Swan. I haven't heard from him really since he started law school. He has been so wrapped up in his studies. But I had to come to see you because he sounded very upset that his friend was so under the weather. I have never seen him look so stricken."

I moaned and opened my eyes to look at Carlisle, I was confused by his statement.

Carlisle was heavenly to look at. Neat blonde hair, sparkly grey eyes, strong chiseled features and a kind smile, he looked to be maybe 45 but his body could be confused for a 20 year old, he was yummy.

"Wow" I whispered after taking a look at my doctor "good looks run in the family."

Carlisle chuckled.

The next thing I knew two strong arms were grasping my hands around a cup and bringing the cup up to my lips. I ran my tongue along the edge of the cup and tasted the sweet water on my lips. I took a few greedy sips, I was grasping the cup alone now but messed up and it tumbled out of my hands. Water poured down my collarbone soaking my shirt and a cup of my bra then it trickled down my belly and pooled at the top of my pants.

"Damn it, I shouldn't have let go, Bella I am going to grab some paper towels."

I felt a slight pressure on my neck, then my chest. I felt my shirt being lifted slightly and the skin underneath being patted dry. Then the pressure went lower to the waist of my pants and patted across my hips. My khaki's were lifted slightly and the paper-towel swiped across my waste trying to dry off the skin there. I shuddered and the pressure of the paper-towel stayed where it was, which was halfway under my pants resting on my left hipbone.

I brought my hand up to my damp breast, started kneading it and moaned out Edward's name. I heard his breathing pick up near to me. With my left hand I tugged his hand down from my waist and placed it where I needed him most. Between the apex of my thighs. I rolled my hips into his hand and he started to pull away.

"No Edward, please I need you there. Please touch me." I started moaning.

"Beautiful Bella" he whispered then gripped my pussy and started it rub up and down, his middle finger finding my slit and adding extra pressure.

I gripped my chest and started tugging at my nipple and was gasping his name.

His hand froze and released his hold on me. I felt my lip pout and I sighed in disappointment. My eyes peeled open and met his.

"I'm sorry Bella, I don't want this." He strolled out of the room and shut the door quietly.

I heard him talking to his dad outside in the hall.

"What do you think dad, is Bella okay, does she have to go to the hospital?"

"Edward, she had a temperature of 101.8. She needs someone to watch after her"

" I can't stay here any more, she is driving me crazy."

My heart started to ache when I heard that. I know we don't get along in school very well but his dad basically just told him I needed Edward there and Edward basically just told his dad that I was too annoying to help anymore. This is so shitty. I am such an idiot. I started to cry a little and my headache got unbearable until I slumped to the side and fell asleep.

I woke up again to Alice petting my hair back and humming something soothing.

"Alice, when did you get here?" I was still very groggy.

"Honey I have been here for the last 5 hours or so. Jasper came by to see you last night and spoke with a doctor that was here. He stayed the night with you and called me in the morning to see if I could watch you while he went to class to take notes for you."

" Oh Alice you guys didn't have to do that, shit who do you have working in the bar then? Im sorry to be such a burden."

"It's okay Bella. I am worried about you, how did you let yourself get so sick? The bar is covered, I had some extra money and hired a local girl, Rose. So she is covering the place while I'm gone."

I nodded at her then curled up into her side and fell back asleep. Thank goodness that I have people in my life that I don't annoy to death. Alice and Jasper are the greatest.

On Sunday afternoon someone knocked softly on my bedroom door and asked to be allowed to enter.

I mumbled, face down on my pillow "Come on in."

Carlisle was standing in front of me, in all of his medical glory, smiling at me but still looking concerned.

"Since when do doctors make house calls, not that I don't appreciate you coming by." I was still belly down but had turned my face toward the door.

"Well Bella we do things a little differently around here, especially where my son's friends are concerned."

I put my face back down on the pillow and suppressed an eye roll. Then I pushed my arms up and flopped over onto my back.

"I am surprised Edward would say he and I are friends. He can't stand me."

Carlisle just laughed. "Edward is a hard person to get to know. When I first met him, it took me a few months before I could get him to make eye contact with me. He warmed up to Esme right away though, I think the fact that she learned all his favorite foods on the first day they met- then proceeded to make them for him each meal might have pushed that relationship along." He smiled kindly.

"I don't understand, wasn't he a newborn when you first met him? It's not your fault your nipples can't be milked. You are Edward's Dad afterall."

"Oh I'm sorry I assumed Edward had explained some of his background to you. For starters I am his Dad and, Edward, he is my pride and joy. But Esme and I did not adopt him until he was about 8 years old. We were also his God parents. I will let Edward fill you in on the rest when he is ready but Bella I am really here to check in on you and see how you are feeling."

I nodded solomely. Poor Edward. Thank God he has such a nice father to take care of him and love him. I can't imagine switching families. That must have been so hard for a little eight year old boy. Aw eight year old hot Eddie must have been such a cutie with his messy bronze hair and curious green eyes...

"Well Doc, I am not dizzy or woozy any more. My chest feels sore and body aches some and feels a little stiff from lying in bed but I think I might just survive this flu."

"I am sure you will Bella, you look much better. Once you are feeling up to it you should probably do some stretches, maybe soak in the tub to try to release some of your muscles."

Now your talking Doc. I tried not to smile.

"And your head seems to be on straighter today." he started chuckling. "I was looking forward to another ego boost but I much prefer to see you happy and healthy" He gave me a little wink.

I blushed profusely as I started to remember all of the ways I was basically hitting on Edward's Dad the last time he was over.

"I know you said you were looking forward to that, but I am truly sorry if I said anything inappropriate to you. I can't say that I wasn't being myself but I remember losing all sense of inhibition. And I shouldn't be allowed to speak without a verbal filter. I really hope that I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Sweetie, I work around morphine induced patients for a living and often come home with ripped scrubs and small bruises from being grabbed. Your innocent compliments are welcomed compared to what I am used to."

Then I remembered Edward's hands patting my body dry then rubbing my core. Fuck. I put his hands there, grabbed him like his father's patients grabbed Carlisle. No wonder I was driving him crazy and he could no longer stand to be in my company. I groaned internally.

"Thanks Doc. Would you mind apologizing to Edward for me too, if you see him before I do. I know I crossed some line he didn't want me to. He probably hates me now."

"I will pass on your message but I can't imagine you capable of making Edward hate you."

I just shook my head. If you only knew Carlisle.

"Well thank you again for coming by, is there anything else I should be doing to try to make a full recovery?"

Carlisle strolled over to me. "May I?"

I nodded, unsure of what he was going to do.

He started to rub the sides of my throat gently by firmly. "Well your lymphnodes are very swollen..."

He picked up his medical bag and placed it on the bed, then took the ear thermometer out. "Bella I am going to take your temperature, do not try to put this back in your mouth." He threw me a wink and chuckled.

I blushed hard. Oops I remember that too.

"Your temperature is still high but has improved, your at 99.8. Still a little sick sweetie."

I huffed in annoyance. "I don't have time for sick" I threw a pout and leaned my head back against the head board and glared at the ceiling.

"I know you are frustrated but you just need to give your body some time, possibly some different medications too. Do you mind if I listen to your chest with my stethoscope?"

I tried to focus on the present but I immediately started having wild fantasies about Dr./Patient scenarios between Carlisle and I and had to bite back a moan.

"Yeah sure,"my voice shook out of nerves "if you think that will get me healthy sooner". Then I closed my eyes to regain my focus before looking at him again and giving him the nod.

Carlisle smiled at me and put the ear buds in his ears his hand slipped expertly under my shirt. The cold metal of the stethoscope made me gasp. " Okay Bella, take a deep breath and then exhale slowly."

I did.

He frowned.

"Again"

I did.

He frowned again and slid the stethoscope over my left boob, his wrist was pressed against my bra and my boob. I had to suppress another moan.

"Again"

I inhaled loudly and exhaled.

"Alright Bella, can you sit up for me?"

I obliged and he took his hand out from under the front of my shirt, gently rubbing against my breast while doing so and then slid his hand up the back of my shirt. I felt breathless for a moment.

"Again"

I inhaled and exhaled.

We repeated this a few more times. Carlisle looked at me sadly.

"You, my dear, might have pneumonia or bronchitis, I can hear your lungs struggling with some fluid. I am going to write you a prescription and you should get started on it as soon as possible. The winters here only get colder. With either of those illnesses you will want to make sure to stay out of the cold."

I nodded solemnly.

"I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news Bella." Carlisle leaned down and gave me a strong hug, cuddling his body to mine.

"If I wasn't happily married and was a few years younger, I would do everything I could to cheer you up sweetheart. But alas, it's not my place." He threw me a flirty wink and I just about died. This man is so sexy. "I am going to let Edward know what's going on with you so that he can contact me again if you are doing poorly. I also put my card on your fridge so you can get in touch with me if you need to. Get some rest." Then he took his leave.

I heard him in my hall way calling someone on a cell phone in a hushed voice.

"Yes Edward,
she is doing alright,
she will be fine.
Just needs some medicine.
Yes.
Either Pneumonia or bronchitis as well as the flu.
Yes I listened to her chest.
I know, son.
Don't go all cave man on your well intentioned father.
Yes, she is very beautiful and tempting.
Maybe you should come see her before another suitor picks her up..."

Then he was too far away for me to hear the rest of the conversation. Oh well. I was satisfied with what I had heard. Maybe Edward does like me to some extent. Unfortunately I now have a crush on the hot Doctor and hot Eddie, this is going to make for some interesting sessions in the tub. Might as well get to it now. I can't remember if I showered at all in the last four days.

I forgot that people had been in and out of my previously unknown apartment over the last couple days. I did not even check to see if the front door was locked. I thought it was. It was not.

I had drawn a bubble bath and put my iPod on my classical mix. I lit a nice fuchsia candle and shut off the lights.

I started my relaxation session imagining the sexy Doctor continuing with his examination from before. Running my hands over my naked chest. Pulling my nipples and measuring the weight of my breasts. Then my hands felt their way down my body and I started to caress my core a little before plunging a finger inside my pussy. I did that a few times, imagining that Carlisle was doing a thorough body exam. Then I decided to take an unusual venture... I pulled my finger out and slipped it into my ass, in and out a few times, then I wiggled it around, hmm not sure how I feel about this invasion. But I was imagining that the sexy Doctor was watching all of this intently to see if I was in tip top shape to present to his son. I bought my other palm to my core and started pressing against my clit and moaned.

Instantly, I remembered a similar sensation from my moment with Edward the other day and pretended that I passed his sexy Dad's inspection and Edward picked up where his father left off. I removed my finger from my ass and started rubbing my clit with renewed vigor. I was staring off at the candle that was lit and thought I heard people talking.

The bathroom shares a wall with the apartment next to me, and I had never heard voices from there before but it doesn't surprise me really. My ipod changed to the next song, Queen's Bicycle Race, and I became for frantic for a release.

I know what others would tell me at this exact juncture; Bicycle Race is not classical... but really all of their harmonies and choir like singing really flows best with my classical playlist and not so much with my country or rap playlists. Sometimes I imagine this song playing during a spin class to justify my choice. Surly if Queen had a cyclist composer waving a stick around at the other band-mates that would be enough to qualify for the genre.

I pulled the removable shower head down, drained the tub some, and put the shower head to work while I plunged my fingers in and out of my pussy. "Ughh Edward. You are so fucking sexy, right there please don't stop again. Moreee." I continued to have the water pulse against my core, up and down. Then brought it really close to my clit. I was panting like a total whore- I was so worked up. Then in an instant I finally came and gasped Edward's name loudly.

The voices I had heard faintly before stopped almost immediately following my climax, I noted that point by did not really pay much attention.

I shut off the shower head. Relaxed back into the hot water in the tub and rinsed the conditioner out of my hair. After a few minutes I stepped out of the tub, dried off and slipped into my comfy indigo silk robe.

I silenced the iPod, brushed my teeth and applied some moisturizer to my entire body and walked toward the kitchen. I had worked up an appetite.

On the way to the kitchen I strolled through the living room and screamed. Edward was staring at me, looking like he was ready to attack me. Jasper was next to him, red in the face and slightly angry. My nipples hardened through my robe at the site of Edward.

"Holy Shit... how long have you guys been here?"

"I am really sorry Bella, I came over here to check on you and drop off your notes from class this week. This jackass got here right before I did."

I glanced over to Edward, hoping he would say it was just a few seconds ago.. please please please. If anyone up there is doing favors please this is all I ask. Let him have been somewhere else other then my apartment when I was still in the tub. Please...

"Bella..." he looked torn and his voice was all gravely. He exchanged a glance with Jasper. "We have been here long enough to hear you scream my name when you came in the shower".

"Shit." What do I do? How do I make this moment okay, not so fucking awkward... My heart beat was thundering in my ears.

My hell filled moment of embarrassment ended sooner than I expected. Sean Paul's Temperature started to blast through the apartment. I stood now in confusion, the ringtone was blaring from his pocket.

Edward grumbled and looked away from me while reaching down for his phone.

"Hi.

I know, I will be there in a few minutes.

I had to do some errands.

I was dropping off a prescription for Bella Swan.

My dad made me come by to get some meds to her.

Because she is sick.

I called my dad because she didn't have a doctor around here and didn't look well the other day.

You know that isn't true..

I don't care about her."

Ouch Edward. I looked to the floor and started to get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach like I was going to puke. I could feel that my face was flaming red in shame.

Edward's conversation continued, ignorant of the emotions running across my features.

"I'm sorry that I am going to be late but I will make it up to you.

You too Tanya. "

Edward sighed and started pinching the bridge of his nose then he hung up.

I was looking at him in horror.

He glanced at me and reached over to the table next to my couch and picked up a drug store bag.

"Here Bella. My dad said you needed to start taking these right away. So you should read the instructions and probably start tonight. I have to go, my girlfriend has been waiting for me for the last 15 minutes to take her out." He handed the bag to me and avoided looking at me again, just stormed out the door.

"Bella..." Jasper started toward me cautiously.

I couldn't look at him. "Oh my God, Jasper. I am so embarrassed. I don't even know what to say." I gave a small sob and sat on the couch tucking my legs beside me.

I just stared at the wall. I don't know why it was so shocking to hear that he didn't care about me. That he was dating Tanya. But I had just masturbated to an image of him (and his Dad) and he heard me! What the fuck is wrong with me?

Tears stung at my eyes and my lungs started aching.

"Darlin... it's okay."

I glanced up at Jasper and he was looking at me with so much love and pity. Tears started to push their way out of my eyes and pour down my cheeks and I struggled to keep sobs in my chest.

He immediately sat next to me and folded me into his arms and let my tears fall into his shoulder. I was ignoring the fact that I was in a flimsy silk robe that was dangerously close to untying. I knew it was the last thing on Jasper's mind. Then I had the sinking feeling that my state of attire would probably be the last thing on most guys minds. Maybe I never grew out of my ugly stage after all.

I gave a few more small sobs before my chest started hurting so much that I couldn't suppress a cough. Well with pneumonia or bronchitis or whatever was plaguing my heath, it turned in to a pretty ridiculous coughing fit.

Jasper had to let me go. He got up and stood behind the couch then started to rub my shoulders.

"Bella, I am going to read what these meds say and see if you can take them right now."

He opened the bag and declared that I should take two pills now and another set again in four hours. He brought me a glass of water and the pills and set them in my hands. Then pulled out his cell phone.

"Hi Ali.

Um that would be the sound of Bella.

Both, yes coughing and crying.

If you can come over here I think that would be best.

Love you sugar."

He glanced my way and hung up the phone.

"Darlin'... Alice is coming to see you too, she is only a couple minutes from here. Edward is an idiot for not seeing what is right in front of him. I know you are embarrissed but if I had not met Alice and that was my name you were moaning..." he looked me straight in the eyes and combed his fingers through his hair. "Nothing in the world would have prevented me from joining you in that bathroom."

I looked up at him in disbelief. We sat there in silence as his words sunk in.

"Jasper, you don't need to say those things for my benefit. He probably thinks I am a loser and a creep. And I don't attract him at all. Remember that time he thought I grabbed his butt and yelled at me not to touch him, he looked at me then like I was the most disgusting person on earth.

Obviously I didn't turn down any modeling contracts to come to law school, I know what I have to offer this world and apparently it isn't something that Edward Cullen is interested in. Or something that he cares about for that matter."

Thinking of the sharp words he spoke into the phone stabbed me in the chest again and I just closed my eyes and kept crying. I can't believe I thought he might be attracted to me. That I told him I wanted to suck his dick, that I put his hand on my crotch. I know I was loopy at the time but I don't know how I am going to be able to face him after this.

In my distress I had not realized that Alice had come in to hear my little speech to Jasper.

"Bella, sweetie, it's okay, everything will work out. Edward is a jerk. You are smart and beautiful and make the world a happier place. If he doesn't see that then he doesn't deserve any of your attention." Alice had kneeled in front of me, holding both of my hands and resting her forearms on my legs.

"Really Bella. I mean it. We love you and don't want you to be sad. And just because you didn't turn down any modeling contracts doesn't mean you couldn't have picked up a few if you tried." She threw me a playful wink.

"Alice, I appreciate what you are doing but nothing will get me over my embarrassment. I am such a loser."

Alice closed her eyes and a tiny smile ghosted over her lips. She looked at me and said "You have three options: Own up to what happened and see if you can get Edward to see the light. Pretend it never happened and ignore Edward. Or become his fantasy and just pretend nothing embarrassing happened while doing everything in your power to prevent Edward from forgetting what he heard and saw."

"He didn't see anything Alice, I was in the bathroom alone getting off to my fantasy about him and shouting his name. He was in the living room."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"Bella how did you learn that he was in the living room?"

" I saw him there."

"And he saw you when you came into the living room, right?"

"Right...?"

"Dressed like this."

She waved her hand like a game show assistant, signaling my appearance from head to toe.

"Any mans wet dream. I can basically see all of the curves of your body under that pretty silk robe. You hair is in wet tendrils over your shoulders making you look exotic. And you probably came out flushed and looking freshly fucked. I am sure he will not forget that anytime soon. Right Jasper."

Jasper tried to avoid eye contact with me and nodded.

Alice just laughed. "Jasper, it is no secret you think Bella is sexy. Now is not the moment to deny that you think that. I am not offended that you think so. Bella, even I think you are sexy. In fact, if I was still in my experimental stage I would have disrobed you by now and we would be having a lot more fun."

Jasper made that face again.

I couldn't hold back a giggle.

His face flushed pink, his mouth was slightly ajar and his eyebrows were up higher then I thought possible. He did not even try to hide his erection. I couldn't help thinking that his dick must be enormous by the way it filled out his pants down to his mid thigh.

"Fuck Alice. What I would give to be a fly on the wall during a sexual experiment between you and Bella. You girls are going to be the death of me." He looked like he was trying not to jump on top of both of us and force our mouths together.

I killed the strange moment with another coughing fit that left me dizzy.

"Ali and Jazz. You two are my best friend here. Thank you for trying to cheer me up. I almost believe that you guys want me to join some kind of threesome with you." I laughed to lighten the mood and the two of them exchanged an awkward glance.

"But you don't need to keep stroking my ego. I will be okay. It was my mistake. I will never jack of to thoughts of Edward again, out loud. Who knows, maybe over winter break I will try the dating scene around here, or just shack up with you two hahah. I really should go get some rest and try to sleep off this nonsense. Love you guys."

Alice smiled at me but her eyes were full of questions. "We love you too Bella, call me when you wake up in the morning. In the mean time get some rest and think about which of the three choices you want to go with."

I asked them to lock the door on their way out, headed to bed and they left the apartment,

Once I get over this sickness, law school is going to be hellish if I run into Edward or Tanya. It is going to be unbearable if I run into both of them.

Keep letting me hear what you think about the story so far!

xoxo