3. Family

"My family is my strength and my weakness."

- Aishwarya Rai Bachchnan

The Emerald Fist was in trouble, in really big trouble. Massive trouble in fact.

He looked around at the hundreds of dark figures surrounding him in one of the darkest forgotten alleys down at the pier. There was no way out. At least not one easy to find.

"Bugger!" He cursed under his breath, his eyes darting around hoping to find an opening no matter how small. One of the dark figures cackled evilly.

"It seems you have reached a dead end, vigilante," he said, moving into an attacking stance. "We are finally getting rid of you and your annoying meddling."

"Ah!" The Emerald Fist sneered, "now that's something I'm gonna enjoy seeing you try."

The Foot moved in perfect synchrony as they pounced on him at once, but that was exactly what he needed. When they jumped to strike him with their kicks, he grinned behind his silver and green mask and slid under them unharmed, leaving them crashing against each other. He grinned even bigger at their pathetic attempt of detangling themselves. He rushed up a fire-escape ladder and jumped into the roof of a building.

They were persistent, though. He heard them following him so he moved faster and more swiftly, knowing he only needed to get further enough to slip into the shadows and lose them. His suit might've been green but he was still able to use the little control over darkness he had to hide.

He sneaked a glance at the scroll he had taken from the Purple Dragons, briefly wondering what was so important about it that they had gone to so much trouble as sneaking into the museum to steal it and then have the Foot sent after him. They usually didn't care about breaking quietly into the place they were robbing. It made the scroll all the more important.

I need to hide it, I need to get it somewhere safe.

And he knew just the place.

"I'm sorry, April, but I'm not ready to go back. Not yet." Leonardo moved around the cave he had been calling his home for the last seven months to grab some more wood. He returned to the fire, feeding it, loving the soft warmth it brought to the humid and dark walls. "There's still something I'm missing... I quite haven't figured it out yet. I hope to soon though. I really do."

April shook her head in disbelief. "You can't be serious! Mikey's been missing for nearly three weeks now, Leo, no one can find him anywhere. Donnie has lost his tracking signal completely!"

Leo closed his hands into tight fists. The possibility of Mikey, his baby brother, getting in trouble or getting caught by their enemies or worse, being killed, was torture. But he didn't feel like himself yet. He was still struggling with his inner demons and he needed to understand how to deal with the scars in his soul. He hadn't found what he was looking for. He needed more time.

"What could I possibly do that neither Donnie or Raphael can't? They both have to grow up as well. They should learn how to deal with the circumstances on their own. I'm not going to be around forever."

"They've been dealing with the circumstances since you've left. What they need now is their older brother, the one they look up to more than anyone," April muttered, trying to reason with him. She hastily stood up, finding it too hard to stay seated when Leo was being so exasperating.

"I'm not that... turtle, anymore." And he wasn't. After the fight with the Shredder, Leo had lost something inside of him, something precious. He had defeated their toughest enemy and he had come out alive, but he had killed innocents in the process. He was hardened, short tempered, nearly brutal... and he was shattered. The last time he was home with his brothers, he had almost killed Raphael, and he had hurt Michaelangelo by accident when he stepped into the crossfire. He had lost a part of his humanity. A leader could never be a true leader if he couldn't show compassion, patience, understanding. He wasn't a leader anymore.

Leo pinned April to the floor with one look of his dark blue eyes. "That's why I'm here. I have to go back to who I was."

April sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her head hurt. She knew Leo like the back of her hand, and she knew he was too stubborn to ever change his mind. She wanted to fight him over this, but what was the point of fighting a battle she had already lost?

"No one could stay the same after what you all went through, Leo, in fact none of you did. You should learn how to live with it, like your brothers have been doing. You should deal with it together! This - what you're doing? Running away to search something that you can probably never get back again is not the way to go, Leo."

Leo gritted his teeth. She was wrong; he was going to find it. He had to otherwise what would be left for him? He knew nothing besides being a leader. In the meantime his brothers would have to deal with the situation without him.

Sage and Mikey were just about to finish the fourth movie and their fifth beer when there was a sudden noise outside of her window. It began with a soft tapping and then became a nervous scratching that she simply couldn't ignore. Mikey immediately stood up, grabbing a hold of his nunchucks. She shot him look.

"Put that away, Mikey, and get in the bedroom!" She told him.

"But it could be a robber, Sage!"

"If it's a robber I'll call you, now get in the bedroom!" He was clearly displeased but still he did as she said.

Sage grabbed her brother's old baseball bat from the small cabinet beside the couch and tip-toed towards the window. As soon as she got near, a face smashed against the glass making her scream like a girl in a horror film.

"Jesus Christ, Sage, stop screeching! It's me!" The man outside her window shouted. Sage stopped and examined the intruder's face more closely, finally noticing the familiar grey eyes of her younger brother.

"Bloody hell, Rowan, what the hell are ye doin' here?!"

"I will tell ye if ye open this bloody window and let me inside! It's fuckin' freezin' out here, y'know?"

She snapped out of her shock and she moved to let him in quickly. Rowan shivered as his cold skin met the warmth of the living room. He scanned the place, his attention falling on the ten cans of beer opened in the coffee table and the movie playing on the wide television screen. He raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have company?" he asked.

Sage froze for a moment. "What? No! Can't a lass just enjoy a night home alone?" She chuckled nervously. Her British accent always turned up a notch when she was anxious. Just as her brother's did.

"Right." He didn't look the least bit convinced, she noticed, but he also didn't seem to be in the mood to probe further into it. "Okay look, I don't have time for this. I just stopped by to ask if you could keep something safe for me. Can you?"

"What is it?" She didn't like the way her brother stayed silent. "Is it something that'll get me in trouble?"

"I don't think so, no."

"You don't think so... alright... and are you in any sort of trouble?" He didn't answer. She scowled. "Rowan..."

"Don't lecture me right now, 'kay sis? I just... can't deal with it right now. So can you please keep it and save the questions for when I'm ready to answer?"

Sage watched him intently. Rowan was always the "dark beauty" of the family with hair dark as night and eyes like a stormy sky. Tonight, those eyes looked even stormier with lightning striking inside them. She felt as if he was lost in the storm raging inside of him and she had no idea of how to reach him.

Their eyes met and for a split second, the tiniest of moments, she caught a glimpse of Oliver. Unfortunatelly, it was gone nearly as soon as it came up. She sighed heavily.

"Alright, I'll keep it - whatever it is." He handed her what appeared to be an old scroll case made of a golden material. As she inspected the item further, she gasped. "Rowan, this is made of gold! Bloody hell, it's ancient Norse gold!"

"Sage-"

"You thought I wouldn't recognize something like this?" She cut him off, getting angry. "For Pete's sake, Rowan, I have a master's degree in Ancient Mythology! I wrote a thesis on sacred Norse customs!"

"I know that! Just put it in your safe and keep it there until I come back for it, can you do that for me?"

She snorted. "You're unbelievable, you know that?" He gave her an unwavering look, annoying her immensely. She bit her lip. "Fine."

Sage walked up to her favorite Monet painting, taking it down and opening the safe she had hiding behind it. She shoved the case inside. The clicking sound echoed through the silent apartment. Then she closed and locked the safe, hanging the painting back up.

"Thank you, Sage," she heard Rowan whisper quietly.

She run a hand through her locks. "I'm worried about you, Rowan. I'm always worrying, and it's not because I don't trust your judgment or your choices but because I know how it feels to want to change the world by my own hands. But justice isn't up to you, Rowan. The man who killed Oliver has already been locked up, there's nothing else to do."

"Stop bringin' Oliver up every time ye see me! Fuckin' hell Sage, and ye wonder why I never go home anymore!" Rowan howled angrily, making Sage flinch and cower in fear. "I'm sick ov' everyone tellin' me t' move on and that it's goin' t' be fine! Well guess what - it's not gunna be fine, nothing's ever gunna be fine! He was half ov' me, we shared the same womb, the same pains, the same thoughts, we had the same heart... He was everythin' t' me - EVERYTHING! Ye lost a brother but I lost part ov' me, so ye don't get t' talk 'bout him and ye don't get t' gimme morality speeches, ye got no right t'!"

She had never seen him so furious, it was scary. His accent was thicker than an irishman's and he was out of breath from the strain of yelling. There were tears pooling behind his stormy eyes; tears he stubbornly refused to cry.

Rowan took a deep breath, finally facing his sister. The way she had her arms around her torso, as if trying to hold herself from falling apart, only made his suffering worse. She looked terribly fragile with her tiny shoulders trembling, her long curly mane shielding a face he knew all too well. He hated himself for making her feel like this but the wrong was done and he couldn't find the right words to take it back. He tugged at his hair.

"Just... please don't tell anyone about the scroll alright? I'll come back for it as soon as I can." She only nodded, refusing to look up. He sighed, moving to touch her but he stopped before he did. Then, he simply turned around and climbed out the window disappearing into the shadows of the night.

When the window clicked shut, Sage felt her legs finally give in underneath her, but she never touched the ground. Mikey was beside her faster than the blink of eye, holding her against his chest. He was so warm, she noticed, and she could hear the beating of his heart. It was fast.

Mikey touched her hair, watching her intently. She didn't meet his eye, which worried him further. He felt her trembling so he held on tighter, engulfing her in as much warmth as he could, knowing very well she wasn't shaking because she was cold.

"Sage..."